Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.
-- Edward Abbey
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In social institutions, the whole is always less than the sum of its parts. There will never be a state as good as its people, or a church worthy of its congregation, or a university equal to its faculty and students.
-- Edward Abbey
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In the Soviet Union, government controls industry. In the United States, industry controls government. That is the principal structural difference between the two great oligarchies of our time.
-- Edward Abbey
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Agnosticism is the philosophical, ethical and religious dryrot of the modern world.
-- F E Abbot
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If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
-- Charles C Abbott
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If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson
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If we can dispel the delusion that learning about computers should be an activity of fiddling with array indexes and worrying whether X is an integer or a real number, we can begin to focus on programming as a source of ideas.
-- Harold Abelson
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I believe we are observing a race between the trend toward the successful social application of technology and the trend of public alienation with technology. I fear that if there is widespread disillusion with technology, scientific thought itself will not long be free and supported, and some dark ages may be upon us.
-- Clark Abt
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When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard
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A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson
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Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman
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Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
-- Lord Acton
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The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.
-- Lord Acton
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Millions of men have lived to fight, build palaces and boundaries, shape destinies and societies; but the compelling force of all times has been the force of originality and creation profoundly affecting the roots of human spirit.
-- Ansel Adams
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If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!
-- Clark Adams
%%
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.
-- Douglas Adams
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All it takes to fly is to hurl yourself at the ground... and miss.
-- Douglas Adams
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams
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Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get *there*. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.
-- Douglas Adams
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Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.
-- Douglas Adams
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Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...
-- Douglas Adams
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He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
-- Douglas Adams
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He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
-- Douglas Adams
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-- Douglas Adams
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I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams
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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
-- Douglas Adams
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If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there... what then? The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of belief? The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.
-- Douglas Adams
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In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams
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It is an important and popular fact that things are not always as they seem.
-- Douglas Adams
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It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear.
-- Douglas Adams
%%
Life is wasted on the living.
-- Douglas Adams
%%
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
-- Douglas Adams
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Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the Empire forged.
-- Douglas Adams
%%
The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry.
-- Douglas Adams
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The night sky over the planet Krikkit is the least interesting sight in the entire Universe.
-- Douglas Adams
%%
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
-- Douglas Adams
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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
-- Douglas Adams
%%
This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
-- Douglas Adams
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
-- Douglas Adams
%%
Very deep. You should send that into Reader's Digest, they've got a page for people like you.
-- Douglas Adams
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You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young! "Why, what did she tell you?" I don't know, I didn't listen!
-- Douglas Adams
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What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
-- Frank Adams
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I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
-- Franklin P Adams
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Note how good you feel after you have encouraged someone else. No other argument is necessary to suggest that never miss the opportunity to give encouragement.
-- George Adams
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There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.
-- George Matthew Adams
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What you think means more than anything else in your life. More than what you earn, more than where you live, more than your social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you.
-- George Adams
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Chaos often breeds life when order breeds habit.
-- Henry Brooks Adams
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Friends are born, not made.
-- Henry Adams
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It is impossible to underrate human intelligence-beginning with one's own.
-- Henry Brooks Adams
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No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
-- Henry Brooks Adams
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No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and, in the long run, no state ever has. Roman matrons used to say to their sons: "Come back with your shield, or on it". Later on this custom declined. So did Rome.
-- Henry Brooks Adams
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One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, a rivalry of aim.
-- Henry Brooks Adams
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Philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
-- Henry Brooks Adams
%%
Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organization of hatreds.
-- Henry B Adams
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The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate men.
-- Henry B Adams
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You say that love is nonsense... I tell you it is no such thing. For weeks and months it is a steady physical pain, an ache about the heart, never leaving one, by night or by day; a long strain on one's nerves like toothache or rheumatism, not intolerable at any one instant, but exhausting by its steady drain on the strength.
-- Henry Adams
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If weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
-- Joey Adams
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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
-- Joey Adams
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Arms in the hands of citizens [may] be used at individual discretion... in private defence.
-- John Adams
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Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams
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In every human soul as it confronts the world there is a sense of the portentous. Our existence, our being here at all, our being in the world, is the really portentous fact for us; it is the sense of the unfamiliar, the strange, the threatening, the sense of not being at home in the world, even when there are no special threats ... all technology is the overcoming of the portentousness in things. The bare knowing, the classifying of things by means of laws and general interrelationships, represents a repression of their demonic depths, of their incomprehensibility, of their strangeness, their threat to human existence.
-- John Luther Adams
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Liberty cannot be preserved without a general knowledge among the people.
-- John Adams
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Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order.
-- John Adams
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Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.
-- John Adams
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The doctrine of the divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity.
-- John Adams
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The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.
-- John Adams
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The vice presidency is not worth a bucket of warm spit.
-- John Adams
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There is but one element of government, and that is THE PEOPLE. From this element spring all governments. For a nation to be free, it is only necessary that she wills it. For a nation to be slave, it is only necessary that she wills it.
-- John Adams
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Thomas Jefferson... still surv...
-- Last words of John Adams
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Where do we find a precept in the Bible for Creeds, Confessions, Doctrines and Oaths, and whole carloads of other trumpery that we find religion encumbered with in these days?
-- John Adams
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Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams
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My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today.
-- Richard Adams
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Our children's children will hear a good story.
-- Richard Adams
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Let us contemplate out forefathers, and posterity, and resolve to maintain the rights bequeathed to us from the former, for the sake of the latter. The necessity of the times, more than ever, calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude, and perseverance. Let us remember that 'if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.' It is a very serious consideration that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers of the event.
-- Samuel Adams
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Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and religious liberty.
-- Samuel Adams
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As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2,400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
-- Scott Adams
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Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams
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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
-- Scott Adams
%%
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams
%%
Artists are always ready to sacrifice for art, if the price is right.
-- Gomez Addams
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'Tis not in mortals to command success; But we'll do more, Sempronius- we'll deserve it.
-- Joseph Addison
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A beautiful eye makes silence eloquent, a kind eye makes contradiction an assent, an enraged eye makes beauty deformed. This little member gives life to every part about us; and I believe the story of Argus implies no more, than the eye is in every part; that is to say, every other part would be mutilated, were not its force represented more by the eye than even by itself.
-- Joseph Addison
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A statue lies hid in a block of marble; and the art of the statuary only clears away the superfluous matter, and removes the rubbish.
-- Joseph Addison
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A well regulated commerce is not, like law, physic, or divinity, to be overstocked with hands; but, on the contrary, flourishes by multitudes, and gives employment to all its professors.
-- Joseph Addison
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A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison
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A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding cloths.
-- Joseph Addison
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Better to die a thousand deaths than wound my honour.
-- Joseph Addison
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Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
-- Joseph Addison
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Contentment produces in some measure, all those effects which the alchemist usually ascribes to what he calls the philosopher's stone; and if it does not bring riches, it does the same thing, by banishing the desire of them. If it cannot remove the disquietudes arising from a man's mind, body, or fortune, it makes him easy under them.
-- Joseph Addison
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Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief.
-- Joseph Addison
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Good breeding shows itself most where, to an ordinary eye, it appears least.
-- Joseph Addison
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Great souls by instinct to each other turn. Demand alliance, and in friendship burn.
-- Joseph Addison
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He who would pass his declining years with honour and comfort, should, when young, consider that he may one day become old, and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
-- Joseph Addison
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If ridicule were employed to laugh men out of vice and folly, it might be of some use; but it is made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything solemn and serious.
-- Addison
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In my Lucia's absence Life hangs upon me, and becomes a burden; I am ten times undone, while hope, and fear, And grief, and rage and love rise up at once, And with variety of pain distract me.
-- Joseph Addison
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Nothing is more gratifying to the mind of man than power or dominion.
-- Joseph Addison
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Talk not of comfort, 'tis for lighter ills; I will indulge my sorrows, and give way to all the pangs and fury of despair.
-- Joseph Addison
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The man who will live above his present circumstances is in great danger of living in a little time much beneath them.
-- Joseph Addison
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There are many shining qualities in the mind of man, but there is none so useful as discretion; it is this, indeed, that gives a value to all the rest, which sets them to work in their proper times and places, and turns them to the advantage of the person who is possessed of them. Without it, learning is pedantry, and wit impertinence; virtue itself looks like weakness; the best parts only qualify a man to be more sprightly in errors, and active to his own principle.
-- Joseph Addison
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To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.
-- Joseph Addison
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Usurer: A money-lender. He serves you in the present tense; he tends you in the conditional mood; keeps you in the subjunctive; and ruins you in the future.
-- Joseph Addison
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Anyone can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
-- George Ade
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It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
-- Alfred Adler
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The mathematical life of a mathematician is short. Work rarely improves after the age of twenty-five or thirty. If little has been accomplished by then, little will ever be accomplished.
-- Alfred Adler
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The truth is often a terrible weapon of aggression. It is possible to lie, and even to murder with the truth.
-- Alfred Adler
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All television is children's television.
-- Richard P Adler
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Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.
-- Stella Adler
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No religion can long continue to maintain its purity when the church becomes the subservient vassal of the state.
-- Felix Adler
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... at the congress of the Lakedaimonian allies and the rest of the Hellenes, in which Amyntas, the father of Philip, being entitled to a seat, was represented by a delegate whose vote was absolutely under his control, he joined the rest of the Hellenes in voting...
-- Aeschines
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The future you shall know when it has come; before then, forget it.
-- Aeschylus
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The wisest of the wise may err.
-- Aeschylus
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A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
-- Aesop
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Affairs are easier of entrance than of exit; and it is but common prudence to see our way out before we venture in.
-- Aesop
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Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
-- Aesop
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Appearances often are deceiving.
-- Aesop
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Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.
-- Aesop
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Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.
-- Aesop
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Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear.
-- Aesop
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Fine clothes may disguise, but foolish words will disclose a fool.
-- Aesop
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He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop
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He that is neither one thing nor the other has no friends.
-- Aesop
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If you allow men to use you for your own purposes, they will use you for theirs.
-- Aesop
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Men often bear little grievances with less courage than they do large misfortunes.
-- Aesop
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Never soar aloft on an enemy's pinions.
-- Aesop
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Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.
-- Aesop
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Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
-- Aesop
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Plodding wins the race.
-- Aesop
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There can be little liking where there is no likeness.
-- Aesop
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We often despise what is most useful to us.
-- Aesop
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We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop
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Wealth unused might as well not exist.
-- Aesop
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Yield to all and you will soon have nothing to yield.
-- Aesop
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I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
-- Jean Louis Agassiz
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I don't know very much, but what I do know I know better than anybody else and I don't want to argue about it... A mind is not a bed to be made and re-made.
-- James Agate
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Even God cannot change the past.
-- Agathon
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Confronted with the choice, the American people would choose the policeman's truncheon over the anarchist's bomb.
-- Spiro T Agnew
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If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.
-- Spiro Agnew
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Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.
-- Howard Aiken
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Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night.
-- Leo Aikman
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Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N Akhtar
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The paper burns, but the words fly away.
-- Ben Joseph Akiba
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It does take an exceptional mind and a still more exceptional integrity to remain untouched by the brain-influences of the world's doctrines, the accumulated evil of centuries to remain human, since the human is the rational... Those who cry loudest about their disillusionment, about the failure of virtue, the futility of reason, the impotence of logic are those who have achieved the full, exact, logical result of the ideas that they preached... In such a world, the best have to turn against society and have to become its deadliest enemies... What complaint do they now have to make? That the universe is irrational? Is it?
-- Hugh Akston
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The soul is that which denies the body. For example, that which refuses to run when the body trembles, to strike when the body is angry, to drink when the body is thirsty.
-- Alain
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I had always loved beautiful and artistic things, though before leaving America I had a very little chance of seeing any.
-- Emma Albani
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I have a fine sense of ridiculous, but no sense of humour.
-- Edward Albee
%%
I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.
-- Edward Albee
%%
When I investigate and when I discover that the forces of the heavens and the planets are within ourselves, then truly I seem to be living among the gods.
-- Leon Battista Alberti
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Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
-- Kehlog Albran
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"Stay" is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary.
-- Louisa May Alcott
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Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are.
-- Louisa May Alcott
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Love is a great beautifier.
-- Louisa May Alcott
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Money is the root of all evil, and yet it is such a useful root that we cannot get on without it any more than we can without potatoes.
-- Louisa May Alcott
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If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average.
-- M H Alderson
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Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser than usual; if with your superiors, no finer. Be what you say; and, within the rules of prudence, say what you are.
-- Alford
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A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
-- Ali
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Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
-- Muhammed Ali
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Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
-- Muhammad Ali
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I'm a baaaadd man!!
-- Muhammed Ali
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It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I just beat people up.
-- Muhammed Ali
%%
Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
-- Muhammed Ali
%%
The man who has no imagination has no wings.
-- Muhammed Ali
%%
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
-- Muhammed Ali
%%
Avarice, envy, pride, Three fatal sparks, have set the hearts of all On Fire.
-- Dante Alighieri
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For what is liberty but the unhampered translation of will into act.
-- Dante Alighieri
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Through me you pass into the city of woe: Through me you pass into eternal pain: Through me among the people lost for aye. Justice the founder of my fabric moved: To rear me was the task of power divine, Supremest wisdom, and primeval love. Before me things create were none, save things Eternal, and eternal I shall endure. All hope abandon, ye who enter here.
-- Dante Alighieri
%%
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais
%%
Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais
%%
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-- Allen
%%
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
-- Allen's Law
%%
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen
%%
California is a fine place to live ... if you happen to be an orange.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
-- Fred Allen
%%
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard - let him worry about cutting it.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
-- Fred Allen
%%
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen
%%
Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.
-- George Allen
%%
Religions change; beer and wine remain.
-- Harvey Allen
%%
Cameras are so simple to operate now that taking pictures is much easier than getting friends to look at them.
-- Hugh Allen
%%
Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts inevitably bring about right results.
-- James Allen
%%
You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.
-- James Allen
%%
I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen
%%
And how can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter.
-- Woody Allen
%%
At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I am at two with nature.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's!
-- Woody Allen
%%
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
-- Woody Allen, on the KKK
%%
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick ... not wounded ... dead.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
-- Woody Allen
%%
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen
%%
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
-- Woody Allen
%%
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
-- Woody Allen
%%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen
%%
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen
%%
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
-- Woody Allen
%%
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
-- Woody Allen
%%
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
-- Woody Allen
%%
No matter how cynical you are, you can't keep up.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen
%%
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Some people hope to achieve immortality through their works or their children. I would prefer to achieve it by not dying.
-- Woody Allen
%%
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen
%%
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen
%%
The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
-- Woody Allen
%%
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
-- Woody Allen
%%
To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
-- Woody Allen
%%
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen
%%
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
-- Woody Allen
%%
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen
%%
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
-- Woody Allen
%%
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
-- Woody Allen
%%
Don't take life to serious, it ain't nohow permanent.
-- Albert Alligator
%%
The best simpleminded test of expertise in a particular area is an ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that area.
-- Graham Allison
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The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston
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Whenever books are burned men also in the end are burned.
-- Heinrich Heine Almansor
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There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.
-- Guy Almes
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I... reject the argument put forth by many fundamentalists that science has nothing to do with religion because God is not among the things making up the universe in which we live. Surely if a necessity for a god concept in the universe ever turns up, that necessity will become evident to the scientist.
-- Ralph Asher Alpher
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I don't really believe there is a 'meaning' to life. I think life is simply a fact which we have to accept, for better or worse. It is up to us to provide meanings implicitly through our work and our behaviour and our affections and our pleasures. Sometimes they seem enough, sometimes they don't. It is, above all, a question of patience.
-- Al Alverez
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Analysis kills spontaneity.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
At the bottom of the modern man there is always a great thirst for self-forgetfulness, self-distraction... and therefore he turns away from all those problems and abysses which might recall to him his own nothingness.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty.
-- Henri Frederic Amiel
%%
Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Great men are true men, the men in whom nature has succeeded. They are not extraordinary - they are in the true order. It is the other species of men who are not what they ought to be.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
If ignorance and passion are the foes of popular morality, it must be confessed that moral indifference is the malady of the cultivated classes.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Our systems, perhaps, are nothing more than an unconscious apology for our faults; a gigantic scaffolding whose object is to hide from us our favourite sin.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Science is the power of man and love his strength; man becomes man only by the intelligence, but he is man only by the heart.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
To know how to suggest is the art of teaching.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
To live we must conquer incessantly, we must have the courage to be happy.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be outraged by silence.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves. The consciousness of wrong-doing makes us irritable, and our heart, in its cunning, quarrels with what is outside it, in order that it may deafen the clamour within.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
Woman is the salvation or the destruction of the family. She carries its destiny in the folds of her mantle.
-- Henri-Frederic Amiel
%%
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis
%%
It is no wonder people are so horrible when they start life as children.
-- Kingsley Amis
%%
The incestuous relationship between government and big business thrives in the dark.
-- Jack Anderson
%%
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S Anderson
%%
When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi, Mom!
-- Laurie Anderson
%%
What price Glory?
-- Maxwell Anderson
%%
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
-- Poul Anderson
%%
The nearer the Church, the farther from God.
-- Andrewes
%%
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
-- Maya Angelou
%%
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
-- Maya Angelou
%%
If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou
%%
Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.
-- Maya Angelou
%%
There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.
-- Maya Angelou
%%
If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life
%%
If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?
-- Dr Robert Anthony
%%
Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.
-- Robert Anthony
%%
When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
-- Dr Robert Anthony
%%
I was born a heretic. I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows.
-- Susan B Anthony
%%
Resolved, that the women of this nation in 1876, have greater cause for discontent, rebellion and revolution than the men of 1776.
-- Susan B Anthony
%%
The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.
-- Susan B Anthony
%%
There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.
-- Antisthenes
%%
The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
-- Antonio
%%
Seek not death in the error of your life: and pull not upon yourselves destruction with the works of your hands.
-- Apocrypha
%%
Seek not the things that are too hard for thee, neither search the things that are beyond thy strength.
-- Apocrypha
%%
Come to the edge He said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge He said. They came. He pushed them, and they flew...
-- Guillaume Apollinaire
%%
We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
-- Petronius Arbiter
%%
Women like silent men. They think they're listening.
-- Marcel Archard
%%
Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.
-- Archimedes
%%
I have found it. [Eureka.]
-- Archimedes
%%
Take any religious mystery, any theological proposition: expressed in ordinary terms it will read like sheer nonsense to the outsider, from the ritualistic, symbolic eating of human flesh and blood practised by all the Christian sects to the outright cannibalism practised by some savages.
-- Major Whitey Ardmore
%%
... you see, God whatever anyone chooses to call God is one's highest conception of the highest possible. And whoever places his highest conception above his own possibility thinks very little of himself and his life. It's a rare gift, you know, to feel reverence for your own life and to want the best, the greatest, the highest possible, here, now, for your very own. To imagine a heaven and then not to dream of it, but to demand it.
-- Kira Argounova
%%
... happiness is the highest good, being a realization and perfect practice of virtue, which some can attain, while others have little or none of it...
-- Aristotle
%%
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, desire.
-- Aristotle
%%
All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle
%%
All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.
-- Aristotle
%%
Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power - that is not easy.
-- Aristotle
%%
Change in all things is sweet.
-- Aristotle
%%
Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses or avoids.
-- Aristotle
%%
Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and forms of government.
-- Aristotle
%%
Dignity does not consist in possessing honours, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle
%%
Education is the best provision for old age.
-- Aristotle
%%
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
-- Aristotle
%%
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
-- Aristotle
%%
He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.
-- Aristotle
%%
He who hath many friends hath none.
-- Aristotle
%%
He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
-- Aristotle
%%
Hope is a waking dream.
-- Aristotle
%%
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.
-- Aristotle
%%
In the arena of human life the honours and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action.
-- Aristotle
%%
It concerns us to know the purposes we seek in life, for then, like archers aiming at a definite mark, we shall be more likely to attain what we want.
-- Aristotle
%%
It is better for a city to be governed by a good man than by good laws.
-- Aristotle
%%
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
-- Aristotle
%%
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
-- Aristotle
%%
It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom.
-- Aristotle
%%
Man is by nature a political animal.
-- Aristotle
%%
Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.
-- Aristotle
%%
My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.
-- Aristotle
%%
No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
-- Aristotle
%%
No one loves the man whom he fears.
-- Aristotle
%%
Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved.
-- Aristotle
%%
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
-- Aristotle
%%
Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle
%%
Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities.
-- Aristotle
%%
The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle
%%
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.
-- Aristotle
%%
The quality of life is determined by its activities.
-- Aristotle
%%
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.
-- Aristotle
%%
The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.
-- Aristotle
%%
There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.
-- Aristotle
%%
Those who educate children well are more to be honoured than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
-- Aristotle
%%
To the query, "What is a friend?" his reply was "A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
-- Aristotle
%%
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
-- Aristotle
%%
We make war that we may live in peace.
-- Aristotle
%%
Wicked men obey for fear, but the good for love.
-- Aristotle
%%
Wit is cultured insolence.
-- Aristotle
%%
Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.
-- Aristotle
%%
Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.
-- Richard Armour
%%
In larger things we are convivial; What causes trouble is the trivial.
-- Richard Armour
%%
It's all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and then.
-- Richard Armour
%%
Middle age is the time of life that a man first notices in his wife.
-- Richard Armour
%%
A God who kept tinkering with the universe was absurd; a God who interfered with human freedom and creativity was tyrant. If God is seen as a self in a world of his own, an ego that relates to a thought, a cause separate from its effect. "he" becomes a being, not Being itself. An omnipotent, all-knowing tyrant is not so different from earthly dictators who make everything and everybody mere cogs in the machine which they controlled. An atheism that rejects such a God is amply justified.
-- Karen Armstrong
%%
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
-- Neil Armstrong
%%
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
-- Neil Armstrong
%%
Well Walter, I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
-- Neil Armstrong, to Walter Cronkite
%%
But each day brings its petty dust Our soon-chok'd souls to fill, And we forget because we must, And not because we will.
-- Matthew Arnold
%%
Resolve to find thyself; and to know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.
-- Matthew Arnold
%%
This strange disease of modern life, With its sick hurry.
-- Matthew Arnold
%%
Truth sits upon the lips of dying men.
-- Matthew Arnold
%%
I'm not a sexist, but I'm pretty good.
-- Tom Arnold
%%
Two more laser treatments and this is gone.
-- Tom Arnold, describing his plans for the "Rosanne" tattoo on his chest
%%
What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.
-- Raymond Aron
%%
He sent to Athens three hundred Persian panoplies to be set up to Athena in the acropolis; he ordered this inscription to be attached: Alexander son of Philip and the Hellenes, except the Lacedaemonians, set up these spoils from the barbarians dwelling in Asia.
-- Arrian
%%
Your ancestors invaded Macedonia and the rest of Hellas and did us great harm, though we had done them no prior injury;... I have been appointed hegemon of the Greeks...
-- Arrian
%%
A little inaccuracy contains a world of explanation.
-- Aryes
%%
Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway.
-- Mary Kay Ash
%%
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley
%%
Apes were invented because politicians were needed.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time low over the world.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
Our lifetime may be the last that will be lived out in a technological society.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
Suppose that we are wise enough to learn and know and yet not wise enough to control our learning and knowledge, so that we use it to destroy ourselves? Even if that is so, knowledge remains better than ignorance. It is better to know even if the knowledge endures only for the moment that comes before destruction than to gain eternal life at the price of a dull and swinish lack of comprehension of a universe that swirls unseen before us in all its wonder. That was the choice of Achilles, and it is mine, too.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
Things do change. The only question is that since things are deteriorating so quickly, will society and man's habits change quickly enough?
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of all the patriots of every persuasion.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
When the lay public rallies round an idea that is denounced by distinguished but elderly scientists, and supports that idea with great fervour and emotion the distinguished but elderly scientists are then, after all, right.
-- Isaac Asimov
%%
If I forget thee, Lord, do not thou forget me.
-- Astley
%%
I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor
%%
I refuse to admit that I am more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
-- Lady Nancy Astor
%%
In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on a woman.
-- Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor
%%
One reason I don't drink is because I wish to know when I'm having a good time.
-- Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor
%%
The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
-- Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor
%%
We are not asking for superiority for we have always had that; all we ask is equality.
-- Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor
%%
The Democrats say you aren't worried about the $2.8 trillion national debt they've created.
-- Lee Atwater
%%
An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood
%%
My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood
%%
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
-- W H Auden
%%
Civilization is a little citadel of light in a malignant sea of darkness.
-- Auden
%%
In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh.
-- W H Auden
%%
No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
-- W H Auden
%%
Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of Paradise, because of impatience we cannot return.
-- W H Auden
%%
Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered.
-- W H Auden
%%
Those who hate to go to bed fear death; those who hate to get up fear life.
-- Wystan Hugh Auden
%%
Those who will not reason / Perish in the act: / Those who will not act / Perish for that reason.
-- Wystan Hugh Auden
%%
Weep for the lives your wishes never led.
-- W H Auden
%%
What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish.
-- W H Auden
%%
When I find myself in the company of scientists, I feel like a shabby curate who has strayed by mistake into a room full of dukes.
-- W H Auden
%%
When one has great gifts, what answer to the meaning of existence should one require beyond the right to exercise them?
-- Wystan Hugh Auden
%%
It is as painful perhaps to be awakened from a vision as to be born.
-- James Augustine
%%
A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
An apt and true reply was given to Alexander the Great by a pirate who had been seized. For when that king had asked the man what he meant by keeping hostile possession of the sea, he answered with bold pride. "What thou meanest by seizing the whole earth; but because I do it with a petty ship, I am called a robber, whilst thou who dost it with a great fleet art styled emperor."
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which, after the first or second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty; but being once driven up to the head, the pincers cannot take hold to draw it out, but which can only be done by the destruction of the wood.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Be always displeased with what thou art, if your desirest to attain to what thou art not; for where thou hast pleased thyself, there thou abidest. But if thou have enough thou perisheth. Always add, always walk, always proceed. Neither stand still, nor go back, nor deviate.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Cursed is every-one who places his hope in man.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
God will not suffer man to have the knowledge of things to come; for if he had prescience of his prosperity he would be careless; and understanding of his adversity he would be senseless.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
If I am given a formula, and I am ignorant of its meaning, it cannot teach me anything, but if I already know it what does the formula teach me?
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Love the sinner but hate the sin.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
Six is a number perfect in itself, and not because God created the world in six days; rather the contrary is true. God created the world in six days because this number is perfect, and it would remain perfect, even if the work of the six days did not exist.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians, and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of Hell.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
To many total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
We can know what God is not, but we cannot know what He is.
-- Saint Augustine
%%
A candour affected is a dagger concealed.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
A man's worth is no greater than the worth of his ambitions.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
The art of living is more like that of wrestling than of dancing; the main thing is to stand firm and be ready for an unseen attack.
-- Marcus Aurelius
%%
To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.
-- Ghose Aurobindo
%%
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
-- Jane Austen
%%
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen
%%
One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it unless it has all been suffering, nothing but suffering.
-- Jane Austen
%%
One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
-- Jane Austen
%%
Those who do not complain are never pitied.
-- Jane Austen
%%
The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.
-- Bernard Avishai
%%
Against stupidity, even the gods themselves contend in vain.
-- Isaac Azimov
%%
People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba
%%
You will be able to appreciate the influence of such an Engine on the future progress of science. I live in a country which is incapable of estimating it.
-- Charles Babbage
%%
Business is religion and religion is business.
-- M Babcock
%%
Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson
%%
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach
%%
"Do you know what I learned from you? I learned what is possible, and now I must hold out for what I thought we had. I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me. That or nothing. I realized that what I'm looking for is not what you're looking for. You don't want what I want." "What do you think I want?" I asked. "Exactly what you have. Many women you know a little and don't care very much about. Superficial flirtations mutual use, no chance of love. That's my idea of hell. Hell is a place, a time, a consciousness, Richard, in which there is no love. Horrible! Leave me out of it."
-- Richard Bach
%%
... there is such a thing as perfection... and our purpose for living is to find that perfection and show it forth... Each of us is in truth an unlimited idea of freedom. Everything that limits us we have to put aside.
-- Richard Bach
%%
Can miles truly separate us from friends? If we want to be with someone we love, aren't we already there?
-- Richard Bach
%%
Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.
-- Richard Bach
%%
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.
-- Richard Bach
%%
In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.
-- Richard Bach
%%
Learning is finding out what you already know.
-- Richard Bach
%%
Not being known doesn't stop the truth from being true.
-- Richard Bach
%%
That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.
-- Richard Bach
%%
The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
-- Richard Bach
%%
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.
-- Richard Bach
%%
A small town is a place where there's no place to go where you shouldn't.
-- Bacharach
%%
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus
%%
A king that would not feel his crown too heavy for him, must wear it every day; but if he think it too light, he knoweth not of what metal it is made.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth of philosophy bringeth a man's mind about to religion.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
A prudent question is one-half wisdom.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
All rising to a great place is by a winding stair.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
Atheism is rather in the life than in the heart of man.
-- Francis Bacon
%%
Beauty is as summer fruits, which are easy to corrupt and cannot last; and for the most part it makes a dissolute youth, and an age a little out of countenance; but if it light well, it makes virtue shine and vice blush.
-- Francis Bacon
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Believe not much them that seem to despise riches; for they despise them that despair of them; and none are worse when they come to them. Be not penny-wise; riches have wings, and sometimes they fly away of themselves, sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more.
-- Francis Bacon
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Books must follow sciences, and not sciences books.
-- Francis Bacon
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Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon
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Discretion in speech is more than eloquence.
-- Francis Bacon
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Doth any man doubt, that if there were taken out of men's minds, vain opinions, flattering hopes, false valuations, imaginations as one would, and the like, but it would leave the minds, of a number of men, poor shrunken things, full of melancholy and indisposition, and unpleasing to themselves?
-- Francis Bacon
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For those who intend to discover and to understand, not to indulge in conjectures and soothsaying, and rather than contrive imitation and fabulous worlds plan to look deep into the nature of the real world and to dissect it ... for them everything must be sought in things themselves.
-- Francis Bacon
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For what a man would like to be true, that he more readily believes.
-- Francis Bacon
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Fortitude is the marshal of thought, the armour of the will, and the fort of reason.
-- Francis Bacon
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Fortune is like the market, where, many times, if you can stay a little, the price will fall.
-- Francis Bacon
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Generally he perceived in men of devout simplicity this opinion: that the secrets of nature were the secrets of God, part of that glory into which man is not to press too boldly.
-- Francis Bacon
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God has placed no limits to the exercise of the intellect he has given us, on this side of the grave.
-- Francis Bacon
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He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils, for time is the greatest innovator.
-- Francis Bacon
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History makes men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric able to contend.
-- Francis Bacon
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Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
-- Francis Bacon
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I could hold every man a debtor to his profession; from the which as men of course do seek to receive countenance and profit, so ought they of duty to endeavour themselves by way of amends to be a help and ornament thereunto.
-- Francis Bacon
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If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics.
-- Francis Bacon
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If any human being earnestly desire to push on to new discoveries instead of just retaining and using the old; to win victories over Nature as a worker rather than over hostile critics as a disputant; to attain, in fact, clear and demonstrative knowledge instead of attractive and probable theory; we invite him as a true son of Science to join our ranks.
-- Francis Bacon
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If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him.
-- Francis Bacon
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If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon
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Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humour to console him for what he is.
-- Francis Bacon
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It is impossible to love and to be wise.
-- Francis Bacon
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Knowledge itself is power.
-- Francis Bacon
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Libraries are the shrines where all the relics of the ancient saints, full of true virtue, and that without delusion or imposture, are preserved and reposed.
-- Francis Bacon
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Man, being the servant and interpreter of nature, can do and understand so much and so much only as he has observed in fact or in thought of the course of nature: beyond this he neither knows anything nor can do anything.
-- Francis Bacon
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Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.
-- Francis Bacon
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Money is like muck, not good except it be spread.
-- Francis Bacon
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Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience.
-- Francis Bacon
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Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
-- Francis Bacon
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Nuptial love maketh mankind, friendly love perfecteth it; but wanton love corrupteth and embaseth it.
-- Francis Bacon
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Our humanity were a poor thing were it not for the divinity which stirs within us.
-- Francis Bacon
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Philosophy, when superficially studied, excites doubt; when thoroughly explored, it dispels it.
-- Francis Bacon
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Praise from the common people is generally false, and rather follows the vain than the virtuous.
-- Francis Bacon
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Prosperity doth best discover vice, but adversity doth best discover virtue.
-- Francis Bacon
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Prosperity doth best discover vice; but adversity doth best discover virtue.
-- Francis Bacon
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Prosperity is not without many fears and distaste; adversity not without many comforts and hopes.
-- Francis Bacon
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Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider.
-- Francis Bacon
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Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.
-- Francis Bacon
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Rebellions of the belly are the worst.
-- Francis Bacon
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Silence is the virtue of fools. [Silentium, stultorum virtus.]
-- Francis Bacon
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Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested.
-- Francis Bacon
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Some books are to be tasted; others swallowed; and some to be chewed and digested.
-- Francis Bacon
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Testimony is like an arrow shot from a long bow; the force of it depends on the strength of the hand that draws it. Argument is like an arrow from a cross-bow, which has equal force though shot by a child.
-- Francis Bacon
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The arch-flatterer, with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence, is a man's self.
-- Francis Bacon
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The desire of power in excess caused angels to fall; the desire of knowledge in excess caused man to fall; but in charity is no excess, neither can man or angels come into danger by it.
-- Francis Bacon
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The first creation of God in the works of the days was the light of the sense, the last was the light of the reason; and his Sabbath work ever since is the illumination of the spirit.
-- Francis Bacon
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The reverence of a man's self is, next to religion, the chiefest bridle of all vices.
-- Lord Bacon
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The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits but not when it misses.
-- Francis Bacon
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There are three parts in truth: first, the inquiry, which is the wooing of it; secondly, the knowledge of it, which is the presence of it; and thirdly, the belief, which is the enjoyment of it.
-- Francis Bacon
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There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.
-- Francis Bacon
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There is as much difference between the counsel that a friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there is between counsel of a friend and a flatterer.
-- Francis Bacon
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There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.
-- Francis Bacon
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There is no great concurrence between learning and wisdom.
-- Francis Bacon
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This communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects; for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
-- Francis Bacon
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To choose time is to save time.
-- Francis Bacon
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To read without reflecting, is like eating without digesting.
-- Francis Bacon
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Truth will come sooner out of error than from confusion.
-- Francis Bacon
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Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon
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We cannot command nature except by obeying her.
-- Francis Bacon
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We take cunning for a sinister and crooked wisdom, and certainly there is a great difference between a cunning man and a wise man, not only in point of honesty but in point of ability.
-- Francis Bacon
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Whoever is out of patience is out of possession of his soul. Men must not turn into bees, and kill themselves in stinging others.
-- Francis Bacon
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Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.
-- Francis Bacon
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It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.
-- Walter Bagehot
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The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-- Walter Bagehot
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The reason that there are so few good books written is that so few people who write know anything.
-- Walter Bagehot
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When will the public cease to insult the teacher's calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings?
-- William C Bagley
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Religion is verily the chief instrument for the establishment of order in the world and of tranquillity amongst it's peoples... The greater the decline of religion, the more grievous the waywardness of the ungodly. This cannot but lead in the end to chaos and confusion.
-- Baha'Allah
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It is not for him to pride himself who loveth his own country, but rather for him who loveth the whole world. The earth is but one country and mankind its citizens.
-- Baha'u'llah
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The beautiful are never desolate. But someone always loves them.
-- Bailey
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When they discover the centre of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
-- Bernard Bailey
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To talk to someone who does not listen is enough to tense the devil.
-- Pearl Bailey
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What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
-- Pearl Bailey
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Friendship is no plant of hasty growth; Tho' planted in esteem's deep fixed soil, The gradual culture of kind intercourse Must bring it to perfection.
-- Joanna Baillie
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People in aluminium houses shouldn't throw can openers.
-- Chris Baker
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The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending in death. As New Yorkers, we realize this, we resign ourselves to our fate, and we make sure that everyone else is as miserable as we are. Good town.
-- Kyle Baker
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Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker
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I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world.
-- Russell Baker
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Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories... those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker
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Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker
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People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out on the pleasure.
-- Russell Baker
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Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
-- Russell Baker
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The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.
-- Russell Baker
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Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
-- Russell Baker
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Freedom is the absolute right of all adult men and women to seek permission for their action only from their own conscience and reason, and to be determined in their actions only by their own will, and consequently to be responsible only to themselves, and then to the society to which they belong, but only insofar as they have made a free decision to belong to it.
-- Mikhail A Bakunin
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If God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him.
-- Mikhail Bakunin
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It clearly follows that to make men moral it is necessary to make their social environment moral. And that can be done in only one way; by assuring the triumph of justice, that is, the complete liberty of everyone in the most perfect equality for all. Inequality of conditions and rights, and the resulting lack of liberty for all, is the great collective iniquity begetting all individual iniquities.
-- Mikhail Bakunin
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Man does not become man, nor does he achieve awareness or realization of his humanity, other than in society and in the collective movement of the whole society; he only shakes off the yoke of internal nature through collective or social labour... and without his material emancipation there can be no intellectual or moral emancipation for anyone... man in isolation can have no awareness of his liberty. Being free for man means being acknowledged, considered and treated as such by another man, and by all the men around him. Liberty is therefore a feature not of isolation but of interaction, not of exclusion but rather of connection... I myself am human and free only to the extent that I acknowledge the humanity and liberty of all my fellows... I am properly free when all the men and women about me are equally free. Far from being a limitation or a denial of my liberty, the liberty of another is its necessary condition and confirmation.
-- Mikhail Bakunin
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No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world. I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker.
-- Mikhail Bakunin
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The liberty of man consists solely in this: that he obeys natural laws because he has himself recognized them as such, and not because they have been externally imposed upon him by any extrinsic will whatever, divine or human, collective or individual.
-- Mikhail Bakunin
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A child cannot be taught by anyone who despises him, and a child cannot afford to be fooled.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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Every legend, moreover, contains its residuum of truth, and the root function of language is to control the universe by describing it.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; Freedom is something that people take and people are as free as they want to be.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.
-- James Baldwin
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Know from whence you came. If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
-- James Baldwin
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Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
-- James Baldwin
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Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.
-- James Baldwin
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Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin
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Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin
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The future is like heaven, everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now.
-- James Baldwin
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The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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The world is before you, and you need not take it or leave it as it was before you came in.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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You write in order to change the world, knowing perfectly well that you probably can't, but also knowing that literature is indispensable to the world... The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you alter, even by a millimetre, the way ... people look at reality, then you can change it.
-- James Arthur Baldwin
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So long as we have enough people in this country willing to fight for their rights, we'll be called a democracy.
-- Roger Baldwin
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Nothing matters very much, and little matters at all.
-- Lord Balfour
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The past should be a springboard, not a hammock.
-- Ivern Ball
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I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball
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A woman knows the face of the man she loves like a sailor knows the open sea.
-- Honore de Balzac
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All humanity is passion; without passion, religion, history, novels, art would be ineffectual.
-- Honore de Balzac
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
-- Honore de Balzac
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It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.
-- Honore de Balzac
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Love is a game in which one always cheats.
-- Honore de Balzac
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No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac
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Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.
-- Honore de Balzac
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Solitude is fine, but you need someone to tell you that solitude is fine.
-- Honore de Balzac
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The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance of the woman.
-- Honore de Balzac
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The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac
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The motto of chivalry is also the motto of wisdom; to serve all, but love only one.
-- Honore de Balzac
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When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.
-- Honore de Balzac
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Conscience is the mirror of our souls, which represents the errors of our lives in their full shape.
-- George Bancroft
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Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy
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I'll come up and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
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It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
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Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
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Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
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To live will be the greatest adventure of all.
-- Banning
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Were such things here as we do speak about? Or have we eaten on the insane root that takes the reason prisoner?
-- Banquo
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God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning.
-- Imamu Amiri Baraka
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To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber
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What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.
-- Pedro Calderon de la Barca
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I've always thought that the most extraordinary special effect you could do is to buy a child at the moment of its birth, sit it on a little chair and say, "You'll have three score years and ten," and take a photograph every minute. "And we'll watch you and photograph you for ten years after you die, then we'll run the film." Wouldn't that be extraordinary? We'd watch this thing get bigger and bigger, and flower to become extraordinary and beautiful, then watch it crumble, decay, and rot.
-- Clive Barker
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My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of figure skating"
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Groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having.
-- John Perry Barlow
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In Cyberspace, the First Amendment is a local ordinance.
-- John Perry Barlow
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Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.
-- John Perry Barlow
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Television is the first truly democratic culture, the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want.
-- Clive Barnes
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Beauty... It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it you don't need to have anything else; and it you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have.
-- James Matthew Barrie
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Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own.
-- J M Barrie
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Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie
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One's religion is whatever he is most interested in, and yours is Success.
-- James M Barrie
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Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
-- James Matthew Barrie
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The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another.
-- James Matthew Barrie
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The printing press is either the greatest blessing or the greatest curse of modern times, sometimes one forgets which.
-- James Matthew Barrie
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Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
-- James Matthew Barrie
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When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.
-- James Matther Barrie
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... I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses ...
-- Dave Barry
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... Now you're ready for the actual shopping. Your goal should be to get it over with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall public-address system, and many of these songs can damage children emotionally. For example: "Frosty the Snowman" is about a snowman who befriends some children, plays with them until they learn to love him, then melts. And "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is about a young reindeer who, because of a physical deformity, is treated as an outcast by the other reindeer. Then along comes good, old Santa. Does he ignore the deformity? Does he look past Rudolph's nose and respect Rudolph for the sensitive reindeer he is underneath? No. Santa asks Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as if Rudolph were nothing more than some kind of headlight with legs and a tail. So unless you want your children exposed to this kind of insensitivity, you should shop quickly.
-- Dave Barry
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... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.
-- Dave Barry
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... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H. Boyce," he hangs on to it, puts it on his legal stationery, even passes it to his son, rather than do what a lesser person would do, such as get it changed or kill himself.
-- Dave Barry
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... So the documentary-makers stick with sharks. Generally, their procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as to infest the waters. I would estimate that the primary food source of sharks today is bleeding fish pieces scattered by people making documentaries. Once the sharks arrive, they are generally fairly listless. The general shark attitude seems to be: "Oh God, another documentary." So the divers have to somehow goad them into attacking, under the guise of Scientific Research. "We know very little about the effect of electricity on sharks," the narrator will say, in a deeply scientific voice. "That is why Todd is going to jab this Great White in the testicles with a cattle prod." The divers keep this kind of thing up until the shark finally gets irritated and snaps at them, and then they act as though this was a totally unexpected and very dangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along.
-- Dave Barry
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... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ...
-- Dave Barry
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... This striving for excellence extends into people's personal lives as well. When '80s people buy something, they buy the best one, as determined by (1) price and (2) lack of availability. Eighties people buy imported dental floss. They buy gourmet baking soda. If an '80s couple goes to a restaurant where they have made a reservation three weeks in advance, and they are informed that their table is available, they stalk out immediately, because they know it is not an excellent restaurant. If it were, it would have an enormous crowd of excellence-oriented people like themselves waiting, their beepers going off like crickets in the night. An excellent restaurant wouldn't have a table ready immediately for anybody below the rank of Liza Minnelli.
-- Dave Barry
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A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
-- Dave Barry
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After a few boring years, socially meaningful rock 'n' roll died out. It was replaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life more advanced than the lichen family.
-- Dave Barry
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After Benjamin Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc. These pioneers conducted many important electrical experiments. For example, in 1780 Luigi Galvani discovered (this is the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact that it sinks like a stone.
-- Dave Barry
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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
-- Dave Barry
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All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?"
-- Dave Barry
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
-- Dave Barry
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Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers, etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as "A penny saved is a penny earned." Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office.
-- Dave Barry
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Amazing Electronic Fact: If you scuffed your feet long enough without touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you have carpeting.
-- Dave Barry
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American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room without having little pictures on the doors.
-- Dave Barry
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An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch. He wears a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich Protestant Golfer Magazine. The advertisements are written in incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote excellence: The Rolex Hyperion. An elegant new standard in quality excellence and discriminating handcraftsmanship. For the individual who is truly able to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting things by hand. Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold. No watch parts or anything. Just a great big chunk on your wrist. Truly a timeless statement. For the individual who is very secure. Who doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful. Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high school. Because of his acne. People who are probably nowhere near as successful as he is now. Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and they'll see his Rolex Hyperion. Hahahahahahahahaha.
-- Dave Barry
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And so, men, we can see that human skin is an even more complex and fascinating organ than we thought it was, and if we want to keep it looking good, we have to care for it as though it were our own. One approach is to undergo a painful surgical procedure wherein your skin is turned inside-out, so the young cells are on the outside, but then of course you have the unpleasant side effect that your insides gradually fill up with dead old cells and you explode. So this procedure is pretty much limited to top Hollywood stars for whom youthful beauty is a career necessity, such as Elizabeth Taylor and Orson Welles.
-- Dave Barry
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Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.
-- Dave Barry
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As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are interested in the basic nature of humour. "What kind of a sick perverted disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?" ...
-- Dave Barry
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As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight. [In fact, this was the big breakthrough for the Wright Brothers. They were watching birds one day, trying to figure out how to get their crude machine to fly, when suddenly it dawned on Wilbur. "Orville," he said, "all we have to do is remove the sexual organs!" You should have seen their original design.] As a result, birds are very, very difficult to arouse sexually. You almost never see an aroused bird. So when they want to reproduce, birds fly up and stand on telephone lines, where they monitor telephone conversations with their feet. When they find a conversation in which people are talking dirty, they grip the line very tightly until they are both highly aroused, at which point the female gets pregnant.
-- Dave Barry
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Besides the device, the box should contain: * Eight little rectangular snippets of paper that say "WARNING". * A plastic packet containing four 5/17 inch pilfer grommets and two club-ended 6/93 inch boxcar prawns. YOU WILL NEED TO SUPPLY: a matrix wrench and 60,000 feet of tram cable. IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your spouse and say: "Margaret, you know why this country can't make a car that can get all the way through the drive-through at Burger King without a major transmission overhaul? Because nobody cares, that's why." WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret.
-- Dave Barry
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But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879, when he invented the electric company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electrical circuit: the electric company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire, then (this is the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again. This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely. In fact the last year any new electricity was generated in the United States was 1937; the electric companies have been merely re-selling it ever since, which is why they have so much free time to apply for rate increases.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer manoeuvre. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
-- Dave Barry
%%
Dear Mister Language Person: I am curious about the expression, "Part of this complete breakfast". The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be watching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they'll show a commercial for a children's compressed breakfast compound such as "Froot Loops" or "Lucky Charms", and they always show it sitting on a table next to some actual food such as eggs, and the announcer always says: "Part of this complete breakfast". Don't that really mean, "Adjacent to this complete breakfast", or "On the same table as this complete breakfast"? And couldn't they make essentially the same claim if, instead of Froot Loops, they put a can of shaving cream there, or a dead bat? Answer: Yes.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S. Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand- lettered small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles, called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. Electrons travel at the speed of light, which in most American homes is 110 volts per hour. This is very fast. In the time it has taken you to read this sentence so far, an electron could have travelled all the way from San Francisco to Hackensack, New Jersey, although God alone knows why it would want to. The five main kinds of electricity are alternating current, direct current, lightning, static, and European. Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricity goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This prevents harmful electron buildup in the wires.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what, exactly, make people laugh. That's why they were called "wise men." All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about: Would you please take my wife? No. How about: Here is my wife, please take her right now. No How about: Would you like to take something? My wife is available. No. How about ..."
-- Dave Barry
%%
Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as "Garfield Gets Spayed", and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence", "Finding Excellence", "Grasping Hold of Excellence", "Where to Hide Your Excellence at Night So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It", etc.
-- Dave Barry
%%
First, a few words about tools. Basically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of the laws of physics and mechanics in such a way that you can seriously injure yourself. Today, people tend to take tools for granted. If you're ever walking down the street and you notice some people who look particularly smug, the odds are that they are taking tools for granted. If I were you, I'd walk right up and smack them in the face.
-- Dave Barry
%%
For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire life to date. He has had his pyjamas on for two, maybe three days now. He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are the colour of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their names spelled wrong, as in New Creamy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot ("part of this complete breakfast").
-- Dave Barry
%%
Gifts for Children ... This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning cartoon-show advertisements. Make sure you get your children exactly what they ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices. If your child thinks he wants Murderous Bob, the Doll with the Face You Can Rip Right Off, you'd better get it. You may be worried that it might help to encourage your child's antisocial tendencies, but believe me, you have not seen antisocial tendencies until you've seen a child who is convinced that he or she did not get the right gift.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Gifts for Men ... Men are amused by almost any idiot thing ... that is why professional ice hockey is so popular ... so buying gifts for them is easy. But you should never buy them clothes. Men believe they already have all the clothes they will ever need, and new ones make them nervous. For example, your average man has 84 ties, but he wears, at most, only three of them. He has learned, through humiliating trial and error, that if he wears any of the other 81 ties, his wife will probably laugh at him ("You're not going to wear THAT tie with that suit, are you?"). So he has narrowed it down to three safe ties, and has gone several years without being laughed at. If you give him a new tie, he will pretend to like it, but deep inside he will hate you. If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for its wild horses. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. In person, they are like enormous hoofed rats. They amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: "We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon."
-- Dave Barry
%%
Have you ever wondered what makes Californians so calm? Besides drugs, I mean. The answer is hot tubs. A hot tub is a redwood container filled with water that you sit in naked with members of the opposite sex, none of whom is necessarily your spouse. After a few hours in their hot tubs, Californians don't give a damn about earthquakes or mass murderers. They don't give a damn about anything , which is why they are able to produce "Laverne and Shirley" week after week.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool, dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dental fillings. Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain? This teaches us that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important electrical lesson. It also teaches us how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up batches of "electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpets so they will attract dirt. The electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your friend's filling, then travels down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever walk around? If so, you probably have the makings of an excellent legal case. Although of course every case is different, I would definitely say that based on my experience and training, there's no reason why you shouldn't come out of this thing with at least a cabin cruiser. Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our motto is: 'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'
-- Dave Barry
%%
Home centres are designed for the do-it-yourselfer who's willing to pay higher prices for the convenience of being able to shop for lumber, hardware, and toasters all in one location. Notice I say "shop for", as opposed to "obtain". This is the major drawback of home centres: they are always out of everything except artificial Christmas trees. The home centre employees have no time to reorder merchandise because they are too busy applying little price stickers to every object ... every board, washer, nail and screw ... in the entire store ... Let's say a piece in your toilet tank breaks, so you remove the broken part, take it to the home centre, and ask an employee if he has a replacement. The employee, who has never is his life even seen the inside of a toilet tank, will peer at the broken part in very much the same way that a member of a primitive Amazon jungle tribe would look at an electronic calculator, and then say, "We're expecting a shipment of these sometime around the middle of next week".
-- Dave Barry
%%
How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by a waiter at a nice party? Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors d'oeuvre. If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say: "This is cheese! I hate cheese!" Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and bite another one and go, "Darn it! Another cheese!" and so on.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II."
-- Dave Barry
%%
I disapprove of the F-word, not because it's dirty, but because we use it as a substitute for thoughtful insults, and it frequently leads to violence. What we ought to do, when we anger each other, say, in traffic, is exchange phone numbers, so that later on, when we've had time to think of witty and learned insults or look them up in the library, we could call each other up: You: Hello? Bob? Bob: Yes? You: This is Ed. Remember? The person whose parking space you took last Thursday? Outside of Sears? Bob: Oh yes! Sure! How are you, Ed? You: Fine, thanks. Listen, Bob, the reason I'm calling is: "Madam, you may be drunk, but I am ugly, and ..." No, wait. I mean: "you may be ugly, but I am Winston Churchill and ..." No, wait. (Sound of reference book thudding onto the floor.) S-word. Excuse me. Look, Bob, I'm going to have to get back to you. Bob: Fine.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I don't want to alarm anybody, but there is an excellent chance that the Earth will be destroyed in the next several days. Congress is thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals to alien beings. This would be a large mistake. Alien beings have nuclear blaster death cannons. You cannot cut off their federal programs as if they were merely poor people ...
-- Dave Barry
%%
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same colour * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'.
-- Davy Barry
%%
I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make an album, so we made one, and it sounds like a group of people who have been given powerful but unfamiliar instruments as a therapy for a degenerative nerve disease.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I realize that the MX missile is none of our concern. I realize that the whole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we can be free to concern ourselves with getting hold of the plumber. But from time to time, I feel I must address major public issues such as this, because in a free and open society, where the very future of the world hinges on decisions made by our elected leaders, you never win large cash journalism awards if you stick to the topics I usually write about, such as nose-picking.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won't do too much damage if it catches fire or explodes. First you decide which direction your hot tub should face for maximum solar energy. After much trial and error, I have found that the best direction for a hot tub to face is up.
-- Dave Barry
%%
I think we can all agree that there is not enough common courtesy shown ... HEY! PAY ATTENTION WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU DAMMIT! I said I think we can all agree that there is not enough common courtesy shown today. When we take the time to be courteous to each other, we find that we are happier and less likely to engage in nuclear war. This point was driven home by the recent summit talks, where Nancy Reagan and Raisa Gorbachev, each of whose husband thinks the other's husband is vermin, were able to sit down at a high-level tea and engage in courteous conversation ...
-- Dave Barry
%%
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
-- Dave Barry
%%
If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on the sides and deposits a large quantity of tools and two assistants who spend the better part of the week in your basement whacking objects at random with heavy wrenches, after which the "professional" returns and gives you a bill for slightly more money than it would cost you to run a successful campaign for the U.S. Senate. And that's why you've decided to start doing things yourself. You figure, "If those guys can fix my furnace, then so can I. How difficult can it be?" Very difficult. In fact, most home projects are impossible, which is why you should do them yourself. There is no point in paying other people to screw things up when you can easily screw them up yourself for far less money. This article can help you.
-- Dave Barry
%%
In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humour has become so sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow. All those who think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the devil gets her pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up as a human sperm, please raise your hands. Thank you.
-- Dave Barry
%%
In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his haemorrhoids.
-- Dave Barry
%%
In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Kids have never taken guidance from their parents. If you could travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for grubs and berries like dad primate. Then you'd see the primate teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her? What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the applications for.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions section that says you should never never never ever stick you hand into the toaster, the statement "Not even if your wedding ring falls in there". * The store where you bought the toaster, for selling it to an obvious cretin like yourself. * Union Carbide Corporation, which is not directly responsible in this case, but which is feeling so guilty that it would probably send you a large cash settlement anyway.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire. What inner force drove this first athlete? Your guess is as good as mine. Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her calves, then moving up to her ... [EDITOR'S NOTE: To make room for news articles about important world events such as agriculture, we're going to delete the next few square feet of the woman's skin. Thank you.] ... until finally the two of you are lying there, spent, smoking your cigarettes, and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"! And what is even more interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying! This is a fact. Your skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the older veteran cells, who have finally worked their way to the top and obtained offices with nice views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from below.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Most fish live underwater, which is a terrible place to have sex because virtually anywhere you lie down there will be stinging crabs and large quantities of little fish staring at you with buggy little eyes. So generally when two fish want to have sex, they swim around and around for hours, looking for someplace to go, until finally the female gets really tired and has a terrible headache, and she just dumps her eggs right on the sand and swims away. Then the male, driven by some timeless, noble instinct for survival, eats the eggs. So the truth is that fish don't reproduce at all, but there are so many of them that it doesn't make any difference.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
-- Dave Barry
%%
My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up the amplifier and backed up to my bedroom door. Then we rushed forward, shouting "The WHO! The WHO!" and we launched my amplifier perfectly, as though we had been doing it all our lives, clean through the window and down onto the sidewalk, where a small but appreciative crowd had gathered. I would like to be able to say that this was a symbolic act, an effort on my part to break cleanly away from one state in my life and move on to another, but the truth is, Cooper and I really just wanted to find out what it would sound like. It sounded OK.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colours visible from the planet Neptune and where they have a food section specializing in cardboard cartons full of Raisinets and malted milk balls manufactured during the Nixon administration. In either the hardware or housewares department, you'll find an item imported from an obscure Oriental country and described as "Nine Tools in One", consisting of a little handle with interchangeable ends representing inscrutable Oriental notions of tools that Americans might use around the home. Buy it. This is the kind of tool set professionals use. Not only is it inexpensive, but it also has a great safety feature not found in the so-called quality tools sets: The handle will actually break right off if you accidentally hit yourself or anything else, or expose it to direct sunlight.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
-- Dave Barry
%%
One promising concept that I came up with right away was that you could manufacture personal air bags, then get a law passed requiring that they be installed on congressmen to keep them from taking trips. Let's say your congressman was trying to travel to Paris to do a fact-finding study on how the French government handles diseases transmitted by sherbet. Just when he got to the plane, his mandatory air bag, strapped around his waist, would inflate ... FWWAAAAAAPPPP ... thus rendering him too large to fit through the plane door. It could also be rigged to inflate whenever the congressman proposed a law. ("Mr. Speaker, people ask me, why should October be designated as Cuticle Inspection Month? And I answer that FWWAAAAAAPPPP.") This would save millions of dollars, so I have no doubt that the public would violently support a law requiring airbags on congressmen. The problem is that your potential market is very small: there are only around 500 members of Congress, and some of them, such as House Speaker "Tip" O'Neil, are already too large to fit on normal aircraft.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by turning up the radio. But before we get into specific techniques, let's look at how plumbing works. A plumbing system is very much like your electrical system, except that instead of electricity, it has water, and instead of wires, it has pipes, and instead of radios and waffle irons, it has faucets and toilets. So the truth is that your plumbing systems is nothing at all like your electrical system, which is good, because electricity can kill you.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Probably the question asked most often is: Do one-celled animals have orgasms? The answer is yes, they have orgasms almost constantly, which is why they don't mind living in pools of warm slime.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Reporter: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away." I have no idea why the country folk say this. Maybe there's some kind of chemical pollutant in their drinking water. That is why I pledge to do all that I can to protect the environment of this great nation of ours, and put prayer back in the schools, where it belongs. What we need is jobs, not empty promises. I realize I'm risking my political career be being so outspoken on a sensitive issue such as the MX, but that's just the kind of straight-talking honest person I am, and I can't help it.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home centre. And before long home centres were springing up like crabgrass all over the United States.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
-- Dave Barry
%%
So as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate your current VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and hurl it into a dumpster. Then I want you to go out and purchase a vast array of 8-millimeter video equipment. ... OK! Got everything? Well, *too bad, sucker*, because while you were gone the electronics industry came up with an even newer format that makes your 8-millimeter VCR look as technologically advanced as toenail dirt. This format is called "3.5 hectare" and it will not be made available until it is outmoded, sometime early next week, by a format called "Elroy", so *order yours now*.
-- Dave Barry
%%
So Richard and I decided to try to catch [the small shark]. With a great deal of strategy and effort and shouting, we managed to manoeuvre the shark, over the course of about a half-hour, to a sort of corner of the lagoon, so that it had no way to escape other than to flop up onto the land and evolve. Richard and I were inching toward it, sort of crouched over, when all of a sudden it turned around and ... I can still remember the sensation I felt at that moment, primarily in the armpit area ... headed right straight toward us. Many people would have panicked at this point. But Richard and I were not "many people." We were experienced waders, and we kept our heads. We did exactly what the textbook says you should do when you're unarmed and a shark that is nearly two feet long turns on you in water up to your lower calves: We sprinted I would say 600 yards in the opposite direction, using a sprinting style such that the bottoms of our feet never once went below the surface of the water. We ran all the way to the far shore, and if we had been in a Warner Brothers cartoon we would have run right INTO the beach, and you would have seen these two mounds of sand racing across the island until they bonked into trees and coconuts fell onto their heads.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to celebrate it the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around stringing cranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on "The Waltons". Well, you can forget it. If everybody pulled that kind of subversive stunt, the economy would collapse overnight. The government would have to intervene: it would form a cabinet-level Department of Holiday Gift-Giving, which would spend billions and billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls and electronic games, which it would drop on the populace from Air Force jets, killing and maiming thousands. So, for the good of the nation, you should go along with the Holiday Program. This means you should get a large sum of money and go to a mall.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: "Imagine what it does to your TEETH!" So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve ...
-- Dave Barry
%%
The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than cities. Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots, which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but ... here is the big difference ... in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO RULES. You're allowed to do anything. You can drive as fast as you want in any direction you want. I was once driving in a mall parking lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a squat man with a tattoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault, his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was neither. This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking lots.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The basic menu item, in fact the ONLY menu item, would be a food unit called the "patty," consisting of ... this would be guaranteed in writing ... "100 percent animal matter of some kind." All patties would be heated up and then cooled back down in electronic devices immediately before serving. The Breakfast Patty would be a patty on a bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, egg, Ba-Ko-Bits, Cheez Whiz, a Special Sauce made by pouring ketchup out of a bottle and a little slip of paper stating: "Inspected by Number 12". The Lunch or Dinner Patty would be any Breakfast Patties that didn't get sold in the morning. The Seafood Lover's Patty would be any patties that were starting to emit a serious aroma. Patties that were too rank even to be Seafood Lover's Patties would be compressed into wads and sold as "Nuggets."
-- Dave Barry
%%
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The human race has been fascinated by sharks for as long as I can remember. Just like the bluebird feeding its young, or the spider struggling to weave its perfect web, or the buttercup blooming in spring, the shark reveals to us yet another of the infinite and wonderful facets of nature, namely the facet that it can bite your head off. This causes us humans to feel a certain degree of awe.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centres, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanently destroyed, consumers would then be free to go out and buy new devices, rather than have to fritter away years of their lives trying to have the old ones repaired at so-called "factory service centres," which in fact consist of two men named Lester poking at the insides of broken electronic devices with cheap cigars and going, "Lookit all them WIRES in there!"
-- Dave Barry
%%
The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless. So, for guidance, you want to look to big business. Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes...
-- Dave Barry
%%
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?
-- Dave Barry
%%
The reason it's called "Grape Nuts" is that it contains "dextrose", which is also sometimes called "grape sugar", and also because "Grape Nuts" is catchier, in terms of marketing, than "A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel", which is what it tastes like.
-- Dave Barry
%%
The Three Major Kind of Tools: * Tools for hitting things to make them loose or to tighten them up or jar their many complex, sophisticated electrical parts in such a manner that they function perfectly. (These are your hammers, maces, bludgeons, and truncheons.) * Tools that, if dropped properly, can penetrate your foot. (Awls) * Tools that nobody should ever use because the potential danger is far greater than the value of any project that could possibly result. (Power saws, power drills, power staplers, any kind of tool that uses any kind of power more advanced than flashlight batteries.)
-- Dave Barry
%%
There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbours' homes, too.
-- Dave Barry
%%
These childhood memories - I have them often, but can usually keep them under control with the use of drugs.
-- Dave Barry
%%
This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What this means for you, the consumer, is that the airlines are no longer required to follow any rules whatsoever. They can show snuff movies. They can charge for oxygen. They can hire pilots right out of Vending Machine Refill Person School. They can conserve fuel by ejecting husky passengers over water. They can ram competing planes in mid-air. These innovations have resulted in tremendous cost savings which have been passed along to you, the consumer, in the form of flights with amazingly low fares, such as $29. Of course, certain restrictions do apply, the main one being that all these flights take you to Newark, and you must pay thousands of dollars if you want to fly back out.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimetre bullet.
-- Dave Barry
%%
To understand this important story, you have to understand how the telephone company works. Your telephone is connected to a local computer, which is in turn connected to a regional computer, which is in turn connected to a loudspeaker the size of a garbage truck on the lawn of Edna A. Bargewater of Lawrence, Kan. Whenever you talk on the phone, your local computer listens in. If it suspects you're going to discuss an intimate topic, it notifies the computer above it, which listens in and decides whether to alert the one above it, until finally, if you really humiliate yourself, maybe break down in tears and tell your closest friend about a sordid incident from your past involving a seedy motel, a neighbour's spouse, an entire religious order, a garden hose and six quarts of tapioca pudding, the top computer feeds your conversation into Edna's loudspeaker, and she and her friends come out on the porch to listen and drink gin and laugh themselves silly.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
-- Dave Barry
%%
Today, of course, it is considered very poor taste to use the F-word except in major motion pictures.
-- Dave Barry
%%
User: The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."
-- Dave Barry
%%
We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu". You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that said "ELECTROCUTION". Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a) your teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the police would find you. You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
-- Dave Barry
%%
We ought to be very grateful that we have tools. Millions of years ago people did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult. For example, when a primitive person wanted to put up panelling, he had to drive the little panelling nails into the cave wall with his bare fist, so generally the panelling wound up getting spattered with primitive blood, which isn't really all that bad when you consider how ugly panelling is to begin with.
-- Dave Barry
%%
We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is that he's one of the 50 top contenders for the 1984 Democratic presidential nomination. These men will spend the next 18 months going around the country engaging in the most degrading activities imaginable, such as wearing idiot hats and appearing on "Meet the Press". "Meet the Press" is one of those Sunday morning public interest shows that the public is not the least bit interested in. It features a panel of reporters who ask questions of a guest politician, who wins an Amana home freezer if he can get through the entire show without answering a single question ...
-- Dave Barry
%%
What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall. Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers. Then I hop right back into the stall because our dog, Earnest, who has been alone in the basement all night building up powerful dog emotions, has come bounding and quivering into the bathroom and wants to greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any one of which ... bear in mind that I am naked and, without my contact lenses, essentially blind ... could result in the kind of injury where you have to learn a whole new part if you want to sing the "Messiah", if you get my drift. Then I hop right back out, because Robert, with that uncanny sixth sense some children have ... you cannot teach it; they either have it or they don't ... has chosen exactly that moment to flush one of the toilets. Perhaps several of them.
-- Dave Barry
%%
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry
%%
What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty- sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrifically witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.
-- Dave Barry
%%
What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space- launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, during which it just remains 7 a.m. This way we could all wake up via a civilized gradual process of stretching and belching and scratching, and it would still be only 7 a.m. when we were ready to actually emerge from bed.
-- Dave Barry
%%
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Why not have an old-fashioned Christmas for your family this year? Just picture the scene in your living room on Christmas morning as your children open their old-fashioned presents. Your 11-year-old son: "What the heck is this?" You: "A spinning top! You spin it around, and then eventually it falls down. What fun! Ha, ha!" Son: "Is this a joke? Jason Thompson's parents got him a computer with two disk drives and 128 kilobytes of random-access memory, and I get this cretin TOP?" Your 8-year-old daughter: "You think that's bad? Look at this." You: "It's figgy pudding! What a treat!" Daughter: "It looks like goat barf."
-- Dave Barry
%%
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot. Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire. One of the cavemen stared at the fire for a few minutes, then said: "Hey! Wood heat!" The other cavemen, who did not understand English, immediately beat him to death with stones. But the key discovery had been made, and from that day forward, the cavemen had all the heat they needed, although their insurance rates went way up.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Wood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource. If you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place. And if you cut down the new tree, still another will grow. And if you cut down that tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation with long, poisonous tentacles and revenge in its heart, and it will sit there in the forest, cackling and making elaborate plans for when you come back.
-- Dave Barry
%%
You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail. Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them. They last forever, largely because nobody ever eats them. In fact, many smart people save the fruitcakes they receive and send them back to the original givers the next year; some fruitcakes have been passed back and forth for hundreds of years. The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.
-- Dave Barry
%%
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'
-- Dave Barry
%%
You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last names. Here's the complete text: (1) How much did you make? (AMOUNT). (2) How much did we here at the government take out? (AMOUNT). (3) Hey! Sounds like we took too much! So we're going to send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME) household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST NAME), that it pays to file the short form! The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
-- Dave Barry
%%
You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing at Disney World.
-- Dave Barry
%%
You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.
-- Dave Barry
%%
You should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 if he tells you his name, another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and another $2 for each "special" he describes involving confusing terms such as "shallots," and $4 if the menu contains the word "fixin's." In many restaurants, this means the waiter will actually owe you money. If you are travelling with a child aged six months to three years, you should leave an additional amount equal to twice the bill to compensate for the fact that they will have to take the banquette out and burn it because the cracks are wedged solid with gobbets made of partially chewed former restaurant rolls saturated with baby spit.
-- Dave Barry
%%
Your home electrical system is basically a bunch of wires that bring electricity into your home and take if back out before it has a chance to kill you. This is called a "circuit". The most common home electrical problem is when the circuit is broken by a "circuit breaker"; this causes the electricity to back up in one of the wires until it bursts out of an outlet in the form of sparks, which can damage your carpet. The best way to avoid broken circuits is to change your fuses regularly. Another common problem is that the lights flicker. This sometimes means that your electrical system is inadequate, but more often it means that your home is possessed by demons, in which case you'll need to get a caulking gun and some caulking. If you're not sure whether your house is possessed, see "The Amityville Horror", a fine documentary film based on an actual book. Or call in a licensed electrician, who is trained to spot the signs of demonic possession, such as blood coming down the stairs, enormous cats on the dinette table, etc.
-- Dave Barry
%%
If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry
%%
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Mayor Marion Barry
%%
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
-- John Barrymore
%%
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
-- Last words of John Barrymore
%%
Happiness sneaks through a door you didn't know that you left open.
-- John Barrymore
%%
Sex: The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
-- John Barrymore
%%
Faith is never identical with piety.
-- Karl Barth
%%
The best theology would need no advocates, it would prove itself.
-- Theologian Karl Barth
%%
The aim of meditating about the world is finally to change the world.
-- Donald Barthelme
%%
Without books God is silent.
-- Bartholin
%%
Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
-- R S Barton
%%
Don't try to buy at the bottom and sell at the top. It can't be done except by liars.
-- Bernard Baruch
%%
I made my money by selling too soon.
-- Bernard Baruch
%%
Two things are bad for the heart-running up stairs and running down people.
-- Bernard M Baruch
%%
Taxation WITH representation ain't so hot either.
-- Gerald Barzan
%%
Public and private food in America has become eatable, here and there extremely good. Only the fried potatoes go unchanged, as deadly as before.
-- Luigi Barzini
%%
They eat the dainty food of famous chefs with the same pleasure with which they devour gross peasant dishes, mostly composed of garlic and tomatoes, or fisherman's octopus and shrimps, fried in heavily scented olive oil on a little deserted beach.
-- Luigi Barzini
%%
Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition.
-- Jacques Barzun
%%
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins
%%
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the teacher.
-- Stacey Bass
%%
A government needs one hundred soldiers for every guerilla it faces.
-- Fulgencio Batista
%%
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire
%%
Any healthy man can go without food for two days ... but not without poetry.
-- Charles Baudelaire
%%
Belief in progress is a doctrine of idlers and Belgians.
-- Baudelaire
%%
There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start.
-- Charles Baudelaire
%%
An ounce of mirth is worth a pound of sorrow.
-- Richard Baxter
%%
Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow.
-- Glen Beaman
%%
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
-- Charles A Beard
%%
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
-- Charles Austin Beard
%%
Where would we be without salt?
-- James A Beard
%%
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul Beatty
%%
You are no better than you should be.
-- Francis Beaumont
%%
Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are.
-- Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve
%%
Old age is life's parody.
-- Simone de Beauvoir
%%
Christianity is the enemy of liberty & civilization.
-- August Bebel
%%
The chemists are a strange class of mortals, impelled by an almost insane impulse to seek their pleasure among smoke and vapor, soot and flame, poisons and poverty, yet among all these evils I seem to live so sweetly, that may I die if I would change pla.
-- Johann Becher
%%
We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- New York Ranger Barry Beck, on who started a fight furing a hockey game
%%
Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't natural.
-- Bob Beckel
%%
No class of Americans, so far as I know, has ever objected ... to any amount of governmental meddling if it appeared to benefit that particular class.
-- Carl Becker
%%
The primary aim of all government regulation of economic life of the community should be, not to supplant the system of private economic enterprise, but to make it work.
-- Carl Becker
%%
A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it.
-- Sir Thomas Beecham
%%
Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.
-- Sir Thomas Beecham
%%
The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
-- Sir Thomas Beecham
%%
A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober; not to make us sorry but wise.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Expedients are for the hour; principles for the ages.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
If a man cannot be a Christian in the place where he is, he cannot be a Christian anywhere.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
In a natural state, tears and laughter go hand in hand; for they are twinborn. Like two children sleeping in one cradle, when one wakes and stirs, the other wakes also.
-- Beecher
%%
In this world, full often, our joys are only the tender shadows which our sorrows cast.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction. Fear secretes acids, but love and trust are sweet juices.
-- Beecher
%%
Men will let you abuse them if only you will make them laugh.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, on his deathbed
%%
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
The head learns new things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
-- Henry Ward Beecher
%%
All fantasy should have a solid base in reality.
-- Sir Max Beerbohm
%%
Incongruity is the mainspring of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm
%%
Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm
%%
The Nonconformist conscience makes of us all.
-- Max Beerbohm
%%
There is much to be said for failure. It is more interesting than success.
-- Max Beerbohm
%%
Women are a sex by themselves.
-- Beerbohm
%%
Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Last words of Ludwig van Beethoven
%%
Music is a higher revelation than philosophy.
-- Ludwig van Beethoven
%%
Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life.
-- Ludwig van Beethoven
%%
Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.
-- Ludwig van Beethoven
%%
No one should drive a hard bargain with an artist.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven
%%
Before you put on a frown . . . make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs
%%
What we say is important . . . for in most cases the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
-- Jim Beggs
%%
It's a queer world, God knows, but the best we have to be going on with.
-- Brendan Behan
%%
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
-- Brendan Behan
%%
The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
-- Brendan Behan
%%
Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
-- Aphra Behn
%%
One hour of right-down love Is worth an age of dully living on.
-- Aphra Behn
%%
Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.
-- Alexander Graham Bell
%%
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
-- Alexander Graham Bell
%%
"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
Euclid taught me that without assumptions there is no proof. Therefore, in any argument, examine the assumptions.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
Guided only by their feeling for symmetry, simplicity, and generality, and an indefinable sense of the fitness of things, creative mathematicians now, as in the past, are inspired by the art of mathematics rather than by any prospect of ultimate usefulness.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
I have always hated machinery, and the only machine I ever understood was a wheelbarrow, and that but imperfectly.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
If "Number rules the universe" as Pythagoras asserted, Number is merely our delegate to the throne, for we rule Number.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
If a lunatic scribbles a jumble of mathematical symbols it does not follow that the writing means anything merely because to the inexpert eye it is indistinguishable from higher mathematics.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
It is the perennial youthfulness of mathematics itself which marks it off with a disconcerting immortality from the other sciences.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
The cowboys have a way of trussing up a steer or a pugnacious bronco which fixes the brute so that it can neither move nor think. This is the hog-tie, and it is what Euclid did to geometry.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
The longer mathematics lives the more abstract ... and therefore, possibly also the more practical ... it becomes.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
The pursuit of pretty formulas and neat theorems can no doubt quickly degenerate into a silly vice, but so can the quest for austere generalities which are so very general indeed that they are incapable of application to any particular.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
Wherever groups disclosed themselves, or could be introduced, simplicity crystallized out of comparative chaos.
-- Eric Temple Bell
%%
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
-- Francis Bellamy
%%
All men have an instinct for conflict: at least, all healthy men.
-- Hilaire Belloc
%%
I said to Heart, 'How goes it?' Heart replied: 'Right as a Ribstone Pippin!'
-- Hilaire Belloc
%%
The moment a man talks to his fellows he begins to lie.
-- Hilaire Belloc
%%
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment.
-- Robert Benchley
%%
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
-- Robert Benchley
%%
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
-- Robert Benchley
%%
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley
%%
There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world, and those who don't.
-- Benchley's Law of Distinction
%%
When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender
%%
Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.
-- Stephen Vincent Benet
%%
By losing present time, we lose all time.
-- W Gurney Benham
%%
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
-- W Gurney Benham
%%
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
-- Ernest Benn
%%
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
-- Arnold Bennett
%%
Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labour is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennett
%%
It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett
%%
It is within the experience of everyone that when pleasure and pain reach a certain intensity they are indistinguishable.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennett
%%
The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is.
-- Arnold Bennett
%%
Well, my deliberate opinion is - it's a jolly strange world.
-- Arnold Bennett
%%
I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett
%%
Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it, for he shall enjoy living.
-- W C Bennett
%%
We must develop a fair appreciation for the real strengths and limitations of government effort on behalf of children. Government, obviously, cannot fill a child's emotional needs. Nor can it fill his spiritual and moral needs. Government is not a father or mother. Government has never raised a child, and it never will.
-- William J Bennett
%%
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Basketball Forward Winston Bennett
%%
A desire to be in charge of our own lives, a need for control, is born in each of us. It is essential to our mental health, and our success, that we take control.
-- Robert F Bennett
%%
Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.
-- Robert F Bennett
%%
honour the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville
%%
... We must move from ... the primacy of technology toward considerations of social justice and equity, from the dictates of organizational convenience toward the aspirations of self realization and learning, from authoritarianism and dogmatism toward more participation, from uniformity and centralization toward diversity and pluralism, from the concept of work as hard and unavoidable, from life as nasty, brutish, and short toward work as purpose and self-fulfilment, a recognition of leisure as a valid activity in itself.
-- Warren Bennis
%%
You wouldn't dare say that if I had my writers here!
-- Jack Benny
%%
As I make my slow pilgrimage through the world, a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow.
-- A C Benson
%%
I am sure it is one's duty as a teacher to try to show boys that no opinions, no tastes, no emotions are worth much unless they are one's own. I suffered acutely as a boy from the lack of being shown this.
-- A C Benson
%%
One's mind has a way of making itself up in the background, and it suddenly becomes clear what one means to do.
-- A C Benson
%%
People seldom refuse help, if one offers it in the right way.
-- A C Benson
%%
Every law is an infraction of liberty.
-- Jeremy Bentham
%%
Fashion, which elevates the bad to the level of the good, subsequently turns its back on bad and good alike.
-- Eric Bently
%%
I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived for a year or two to have been turned into a fur coat? I don't know.
-- Barbi Benton
%%
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
-- Bernard Berenson
%%
Hard work never killed anybody but why take a chance?
-- Edgar Bergen
%%
I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone.
-- Cyrano De Bergerac
%%
Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.
-- Ingmar Bergman
%%
I hope I never get so old I get religious.
-- Ingmar Bergman
%%
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
-- Ingrid Bergman
%%
Sex-appeal is the keynote of our whole civilization.
-- Henri Bergson
%%
The universe is a machine for creating gods.
-- Henri Louis Bergson
%%
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hall of Fame Inductions
%%
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
-- Milton Berle
%%
Success is one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
-- Irving Berlin
%%
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz
%%
A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.
-- Shelley Berman
%%
The investigator should have a robust faith ... and yet not believe.
-- Physiologist Claude Bernard
%%
If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein
%%
We treat this world of ours as though we have a spare in the trunk.
-- Al Bernstein
%%
A liberal is a man or a woman or a child who looks forward to a better day, a more tranquil night, and a bright, infinite future.
-- Leonard Bernstein
%%
If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's going to stop them.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
If you don't know where you're going, you'll end up somewhere else.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
It's not over until it's over.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
No wonder nobody comes here... it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
We have deep depth.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
We made too many wrong mistakes.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
You can observe a lot just by watching.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra
%%
To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.
-- Wendell Berry
%%
We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.
-- John Berryman
%%
It is only the dead who do not return.
-- Samedi Bertrand
%%
Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith.
-- Adel Bestavros
%%
Vigny, more secret. As if in his tower of ivory, retired before noon.
-- Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve, refering to Comte de Vigny, who locked himself in an ivory tower to work without the influences of man and desire
%%
While it cannot be proved retrospectively that any experience of possession, conversion, revelation, or divine ecstasy was merely an epileptic discharge, we must ask how one differentiates "real transcendence" from neuropathies that produce the same extreme realness, profundity, ineffability, and sense of cosmic unity. When accounts of sudden religious conversions in TLEs [temporal lobe epileptics] are laid alongside the epiphanous revelations of the religious tradition, the parallels are striking. The same is true of the recent spate of alleged UFO abductees. Parsimony alone argues against invoking spirits, demons, or extraterrestrials when natural causes will suffice.
-- Barry L Beyerstein
%%
Love is the crocodile on the river of desire.
-- Bhartrihari
%%
If you love god, burn a church.
-- Jello Biafra
%%
It is better to decide between our enemies than our friends; for one of our friends will most likely become our enemy; but on the other hand, one of your enemies will probably become your friend.
-- Bias
%%
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
-- The Bible
%%
Set me as a seal upon thy heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death.
-- The Bible
%%
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
-- The Bible
%%
... But as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Abatis: Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbish inside.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Abdication: An act whereby a sovereign attests his sense of the high temperature of the throne.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Abscond: To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the property of another.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Accuse: To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Achievement: The death of endeavour and the birth of disgust.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Age: That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
All are lunatics, but he who can analyse his delusions is called a philosopher.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Ardour: The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Beauty: The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Capital: The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the disgrace before meat.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the needs of his neighbours.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks, without knowledge, of things without parallel.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
honourable: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honourable; as, `the honourable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honoured that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Lawyer: One skilled in the circumvention of the law.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacitates of the human misunderstanding.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Mad: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
neighbour: One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Novel: A short story padded.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man ... who has no gills.
-- Ambrose Gwinnet Bierce
%%
Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. ... It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Peace: international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
-- Ambrose Gwinnet Bierce
%%
Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Religion: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Story: A narrative, commonly untrue.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
The cover of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavour upon the business known as gambling.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Ugliness: A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Wit: The salt with which the American humorist spoils his cookery... by leaving it out.
-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Worship: Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
-- Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
%%
Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
-- Josh Billings
%%
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally on one spot.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.
-- Josh Billings
%%
One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Seven per cent has no rest, nor no religion, it works nights, and Sundays, and even wet days.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
-- Josh Billings
%%
Solitude is a good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
-- Josh Billings
%%
The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings
%%
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.
-- Josh Billings
%%
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
-- Josh Billings
%%
When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion.
-- Josh Billings
%%
I date this girl for two years... and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder
%%
Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder
%%
Nothing can occur beyond the strength of faith to sustain, or, transcending the resources of religion, to relieve.
-- Binney
%%
To be unable to bear an ill is itself a great ill.
-- Bion
%%
On the edge of destiny, you must test your strength.
-- Billy Bishop
%%
A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
-- Bismarck
%%
Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.
-- Otto von Bismarck
%%
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck
%%
There is only one greater folly than that of the fool who says in his heart there is no God, and that is the folly of the people that says with its head that it does not know whether there is a God or not.
-- Otto von Bismarck
%%
Universal suffrage is the government of a house by its nursery.
-- Otto von Bismarck
%%
The Social Sciences are good at accounting for disasters once they have taken place.
-- Claude T Bissell
%%
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette
%%
The First Amendment has erected a wall between church and state. That wall must be kept high and impregnable. We could not approve the slightest breach.
-- US Supreme Court Justice Hugo L Black
%%
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black
%%
May every young scientist remember... and not fail to keep his eyes open for the possibility that an irritating failure of his apparatus to give consistent results may once or twice in a lifetime conceal an important discovery.
-- Patrick Blackett
%%
It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer.
-- William Blackstone
%%
A truth that's told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent.
-- William Blake
%%
Better murder an infant in its cradle than nurse an unacted desire.
-- William Blake
%%
Eternity is in love with the production of time.
-- Blake
%%
Exuberance is beauty.
-- William Blake
%%
He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it files Lives in eternity's sun rise.
-- William Blake
%%
I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's; I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.
-- William Blake
%%
I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow.
-- William Blake
%%
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
-- William Blake
%%
Little Lamb who made thee? Dost thou know who made thee?
-- William Blake
%%
Love seeketh not Itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care, But for another gives it ease, And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.
-- William Blake
%%
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
-- William Blake
%%
Prisons are built with stones of Law, Brothels with bricks of Religion.
-- William Blake
%%
There are things that are known and things that are unknown. In between are doors.
-- William Blake
%%
This life's dim windows of the soul Distorts the heavens from pole to pole And leads you to believe a lie When you see with, not through, the eye.
-- William Blake
%%
Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy-for friendship's sake.
-- William Blake
%%
What is now proved was once only imagined.
-- William Blake
%%
When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
-- William Blake
%%
When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake
%%
Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life.
-- Smiley Blanton
%%
It was mentioned on CNN that the new prime number discovered recently is four times bigger then the previous record.
-- John Blasik
%%
The purpose of the present course is the deepening and development of difficulties underlying contemporary theory...
-- A A Blasov
%%
There are, properly speaking, two ONES the One on the unreachable plane of Absoluteness and Infinity, on which no speculation is possible, and the Second One on the plane of Emanations. The former can neither emanate nor be divided, as it is eternal, absolute, and immutable. The Second, being, so to speak, the reflection of the first One, can do all this.
-- H P Blavatsky
%%
Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington
%%
There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.
-- Countess of Blessington
%%
Hold the fort, for I am coming.
-- Philip Bliss
%%
Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom
%%
The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
-- Milo Bloom
%%
There is a God, but He drinks.
-- Blore
%%
The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'
-- Roy Blount, Jr
%%
I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
-- Ed Bluestone
%%
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone
%%
The best people to work with are criminals. And the reason is; They know how to evade the law locally. They have the networks, the hideouts, they know who in the government is corrupt. They probably have already bought the police. They are perfect natural allies.
-- Jack Blum, US Senate Special Counsel
%%
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese
%%
Life is to be enjoyed and if it is not, it makes people ill in one way or another.
-- Louise Bogan
%%
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
-- Humphrey Bogart
%%
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-- Humphrey Bogart
%%
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr
%%
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr
%%
Prediction is extremely difficult. Especially about the future.
-- Niels Bohr
%%
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr
%%
There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Niels Bohr
%%
You are not thinking. You are merely being logical.
-- Niels Bohr
%%
The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
-- Nicolas Boileau
%%
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
-- Derek Bok
%%
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.
-- Bokonon
%%
The shortest and surest way of arriving at real knowledge is to unlearn the lessons we have been taught, to remount first principles, and to take nobody's word about them.
-- Bolingbroke
%%
There is a vast world of work out there in this country, where at least 111 million people are employed in this country alone... many of whom are bored out of their minds. All day long. Not for nothing is their motto TGIF ... 'Thank God It's Friday.' They live for the weekends, when they can go do what they really want to do.
-- Richard Nelson Bolles
%%
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
Housework, done properly, can kill you.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
If life is a bowl of cherries then what am I doing in the pits.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs with the door handles still intact.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck
%%
All men can be reached by flattery, even God can (what, after all, is prayer?).
-- Italo Bombolini
%%
The duty of the people is to tend to their affairs. The duty of government is to help them do it. This is the pasta of politics. The inspired leader, the true prince, no matter how great, can only be sauce upon the pasta.
-- Italo Bombolini
%%
There is nothing more difficult to carry out and more doubtful of success than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all who prosper by the old order.
-- Italo Bombolini
%%
A army's effectiveness depends on its size, training, experience and morale, and morale is worth more than all the other factors combined.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
A picture is worth a thousand words.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Ability is of little account without opportunity.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
All religions have been made by men.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
History is a lie agreed upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
History is a set of lies agreed upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon shots.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Men take only their needs into consideration - never their abilities.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Men, in general, are but great great children.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Religion is excellent stuff for keeping the common people quiet.
-- Napolean Bonaparte
%%
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
The only victory over love is flight.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
What is history but a fable agreed upon?
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
%%
A God who let us prove his existence would be an idol.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
%%
Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
%%
The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
%%
No matter where you go, there you are.
-- Buckaroo Bonzai
%%
To speak of "limits to growth" under a capitalistic market economy is as meaningless as to speak of limits of warfare under a warrior society. The moral pieties, that are voiced today by many well meaning environmentalists, are as naive as the moral pieties of multinationals are manipulative. Capitalism can no more be "persuaded" to limit growth than a human being can be "persuaded" to stop breathing. Attempts to "green" capitalism, to make it "ecological", are doomed by the very nature of the system as a system of endless growth.
-- Murray Bookchin
%%
There was a time when the reader of an unexciting newspaper would remark, 'How dull is the world today!' Nowadays he says, 'What a dull newspaper!'
-- Daniel J Boorstin
%%
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.
-- Elayne Boosler
%%
A bird in the hand is dead.
-- Rhonda Boozer
%%
The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.
-- William H Borah
%%
When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.
-- James H Boren
%%
'Tis nobler to lose honour to save the lives of men than it is to gain honour by taking them.
-- David Borenstein
%%
Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were hypocritical, Gore is shallow and weak, Bradley is an idealist, Bush Jr. a fool, and all of the independent candidates act like they're on drugs.
-- David Borenstein
%%
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.
-- David Borenstein
%%
Nineties style isn't.
-- David Borenstein
%%
One cannot subdue a man by holding back his hands. Lasting peace comes not from force.
-- David Borenstein
%%
Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond.
-- Dr Jeffrey Borenstein
%%
Just when you think that a person is just a backdrop for the rest of the universe, watch them and see that they laugh, they cry, they tell jokes ... they're just friends waiting to be made.
-- Dr Jeffrey Borenstein
%%
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
-- Nathaniel Borenstein
%%
Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge
%%
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
-- Victor Borge
%%
Let heaven exist, even though our estate be hell.
-- Borges
%%
Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone.
-- Jorge Luis Borges
%%
To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god.
-- Jorge Luis Borges
%%
A woodland in full colour is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart.
-- Hal Borland
%%
Fear God, and take your own part.
-- Borrow
%%
The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko
%%
Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos
%%
The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.
-- Jacques Benigne Bossuel
%%
Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.
-- Keith Bostic
%%
For years the number one excuse was 'The cheque's in the post.' This has given way to 'The computer is down.'
-- Leo Bostic
%%
Faith is the soul going out of itself for all its wants.
-- Boston
%%
None can comprehend eternity but the eternal God. Eternity is an ocean, whereof we shall never see the shore; it is a deep where we can find no bottom; a labyrinth from whence we cannot extricate ourselves and where we shall ever lose the door.
-- Boston
%%
In the blithe days of honeymoon, With Kate's allurements smitten, I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon, And call'd her dearest kitten. But now my kitten's grown a cat, And cross like other wives. O! By my soul my honest Mat, I fear she has nine lives.
-- James Boswell
%%
I wish Adam had died with all ribs in his body.
-- Dion Boucicault
%%
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
-- Dion Boucicault
%%
I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is used.
-- Last words of Grammarian Dominique Bouhours
%%
To linger in the observation of things other than the self implies a profound conviction of their worth.
-- Charles-Damian Boulogne
%%
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne
%%
Few people even scratch the surface, much less exhaust the contemplation of their own experience.
-- Randolph Bourne
%%
Friendships are fragile things, and require as much handling as any other fragile and precious thing.
-- Randolph S Bourne
%%
Society is one vast conspiracy for carving one into the kind of statue likes, and then placing it in the most convenient niche it has.
-- Randolph Bourne
%%
We can easily become as much slaves to precaution as we can to fear. Although we can never rivet our fortune so tight as to make it impregnable, we may by our excessive prudence squeeze out of the life that we are guarding so anxiously all the adventurous quality that makes it worth living.
-- Randolph Bourne
%%
Kindness is a language the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear and understand.
-- Christian Nestell Bovee
%%
Our first and last love is ... self-love.
-- Bovee
%%
The busiest of living agents are certain dead men's thoughts.
-- Christian Nestell Bovee
%%
The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to quote another's wit.
-- Bovee
%%
Tranquil pleasures last the longest; we are not fitted to bear the burden of great joys.
-- Christian Nestell Bovee
%%
Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
-- Elizabeth Bowen
%%
Fate is not an eagle, it creeps like a rat.
-- Elizabeth Bowen
%%
If you look at life one way, there is always cause for alarm.
-- Elizabeth Bowen
%%
No object is mysterious. The mystery is in your eye.
-- Elizabeth Bowen
%%
When you love someone all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
-- Elizabeth Bowen
%%
Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles
%%
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
-- John Bowring
%%
Success can be insured only by devising a defence against the contingency plan.
-- Charles P Boyle
%%
The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination.
-- Charles P Boyle
%%
One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife...
-- Robert Boynton
%%
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
-- Henry de Bracton
%%
The word heretic ought to be a term of honour...
-- Charles Bradlaugh
%%
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee... that will do them in.
-- Bradley's Bromide
%%
Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!
-- Amanda Bradley
%%
If you will help run our government in the American way, then there will never be danger of our government running America in the wrong way.
-- Omar N Bradley
%%
Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.
-- General Omar Bradley
%%
The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley
%%
If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet
%%
The words walked right out of my mouth.
-- James Brady
%%
God runs electromagnetic by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
-- Sir William Bragg
%%
The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them.
-- Sir William Bragg
%%
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Member of a Texas pesticide review board Othal Brand
%%
Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.
-- US Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis
%%
If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence.
-- US Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis
%%
Our government... teaches the whole people by its example. If the government becomes the lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.
-- US Supreme Court Justice Louis Dembitz Brandeis
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The makers of our Constitution undertook to secure conditions favourable to the pursuit of happiness. They recognized the significance of man's spiritual nature, of his feelings and of his intellect. They knew that only a part of the pain, pleasure, and satisfaction of life are to be found in material things. They sought to protect Americans in their beliefs, their thoughts, their emotions and their sensations. They conferred, as against the government, the right to be let alone... the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men.
-- US Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis
%%
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
-- Leonard Brandwein
%%
Always behave like a duck... keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.
-- Jacob Braude
%%
There's no fool like an old fool ... you can't beat experience.
-- Jacob Braude
%%
Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun
%%
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein
%%
Monotheism is but imperialism in religion.
-- Breasted
%%
Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life.
-- Bertolt Brecht
%%
Don't be afraid of death so much as an inadequate life.
-- Bertolt Brecht
%%
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht
%%
War is like love; it always finds a way.
-- Bertolt Brecht
%%
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
-- Bertolt Brecht
%%
Why be a man when you can be a success?
-- Bertold Brecht
%%
Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner
%%
Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying BOOGA, BOOGA!
-- David Brenner
%%
The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy, that nobody knows whether to genuflect or spit.
-- Jimmy Breslin
%%
I know what I know, if you know what I mean.
-- Edie Brickell
%%
Religion is a smile on a dog.
-- Edie Brickell
%%
At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.
-- Richard H Brien
%%
For a male and female to live continuously together is... biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault
%%
If life had a vomit meter, we'd be off the scale.
-- Joe Bob Briggs
%%
By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
The pen is mightier than the sword... so, in these dangerous times, I always carry a pen.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%%
The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.
-- Peter Brimelow
%%
It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down resistance, sweeps away all obstacles.
-- Claude M Bristol
%%
Anyone that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
-- David Broder
%%
For Americans war is almost all of the time a nuisance, and military skill is a luxury like Mah-Jongg. But when the issue is brought home to them, war becomes as important, for the necessary period, as business or sport. And it is hard to decide which is likely to be the more ominous for the Axis ... an American decision that this is sport, or that it is business.
-- D W Brogan
%%
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J Bronowski
%%
We are all afraid for our confidence, for the future, for the world. That is the nature of the human imagination. Yet every man, every civilization, has gone forward because of its engagement with what it has set itself to do.
-- Jacob Bronowski
%%
Who has not hoped To outrage an enemy's dignity? Who has not been swept By the wish to hurt? And who has not thought that the impersonal world Deserves no better than to be destroyed By one fabulous sign of his displeasure?
-- J Bronowski
%%
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love friends for their sake rather than for our own.
-- Charlotte Bronte
%%
A book may be compared to the life of your neighbour. If it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.
-- H Brooke
%%
What's all the gaudy glitter of a crown? What but the glaring meteor of ambition, that leads the wretch benighted in his errors, points to the gulf and shines upon destruction?
-- Brooke
%%
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
-- Brooke's Law
%%
Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together.
-- Mel Brooks
%%
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
-- Mel Brooks
%%
Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks
%%
Lets cut off our noses.
-- Shirley Brooks
%%
God hears no more than the heart speaks; and if the heart be dumb, God will certainly be deaf.
-- Thomas Brooks
%%
As against having beautiful workshops, studios, etc., one writes best in a cellar on a rainy day.
-- Van Wyck Brooks
%%
Nothing is sadder than having worldly standards without worldly means.
-- Van Wyck Brooks
%%
The American mind, unlike the English, is not formed by books, but, as Carl Sandburg once said to me, by newspapers and the Bible.
-- Van Wyck Brooks
%%
The creative impulses of man are always at war with the possessive impulses.
-- Van Wyck Brooks
%%
The man who has the courage of his platitudes is always a successful man.
-- Van Wyck Brooks
%%
My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.
-- J Brotherton
%%
Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist there is no God.
-- Heywood Broun
%%
A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower
%%
Few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be.
-- Charles Brower
%%
We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors, but borrow it from our children.
-- D Brower
%%
The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
-- Andrew Brown
%%
The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt ridden misery. At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hope of getting your money back at the end.
-- A Whitney Brown
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I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.
-- Charlie Brown
%%
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown
%%
The other great mystery of life... Women!
-- Emmett Brown
%%
One good thing about being young is that you are not experienced enough to know you cannot possibly do the things you are doing.
-- Gene Brown
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Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
-- H Jackson Brown
%%
If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H Jackson Brown, Jr
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Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
-- H Jackson Brown
%%
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
-- H Jackson Brown
%%
People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
-- H Jackson Brown
%%
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
-- H Jackson Brown, Jr
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He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown
%%
The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown
%%
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
-- Les Brown
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If you can't return a favour, pass it on.
-- Louise Brown
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All currency is neurotic currency.
-- Norman O Brown
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In its famous paradox, the equation of money and excrement, psychoanalysis becomes the first science to state what common sense and the poets have long known ... that the essence of money is in its absolute worthlessness.
-- Norman O Brown
%%
The dynamics of capitalism is postponement of enjoyment to the constantly postponed future.
-- Norman O Brown
%%
A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
-- Pam Brown
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A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.
-- Rita Mae Brown
%%
Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.
-- Mathew Browne
%%
If you want an accounting of your youth, count your friends.
-- Merry Browne
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A man may be in as just possession of truth as of a city, and yet be forced to surrender.
-- Sir Thomas Browne
%%
The Devil's most devilish when respectable.
-- Browning
%%
Eternity stands always fronting God; a stern colossal image with blind eyes, and dim lips, that murmur evermore, God, God, God!
-- Mrs Browning
%%
A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
He said true things, but called them by wrong names.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
I see the whole design.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
If thou must love me, let it be for nought Except for love's sake only. Do not say, I love her for her smile . . . her look . . . her way Of speaking gently . . . for a trick of thought That falls in well with mine, and, certes, brought A sense of pleasant ease on such a day- For these things in themselves, Beloved, may Be changed, or change for thee- and love so wrought, May be unwrought so.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
My sun sets to raise again.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
Since when was genius found respectable?
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
Still more labyrinthine buds the rose.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
Suddenly, as rare things will, it vanished.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
The iron gate ground its teeth to let me pass!
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
There, that is our secret: go to sleep! You will wake, and remember, and understand.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
Thou large-brained woman and large-hearted man.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
What's the Greek name for Swine's Snout?
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
Whoso loves, believes the impossible.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
%%
Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning
%%
Of what I call God and fools call Nature.
-- Browning
%%
Take away love, and our life is a tomb.
-- Robert Browning
%%
There may be a heaven. There must be a hell.
-- Browning
%%
Truth never hurts the teller.
-- Robert Browning
%%
If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
-- Lenny Bruce
%%
In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce
%%
My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce
%%
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do...."
-- Lenny Bruce
%%
If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel
%%
In time, and as one comes to benefit from experience, one learns that things will turn out neither as well as one hoped nor as badly as one feared.
-- Jerome S Bruner
%%
Friends are treasures.
-- Horace Bruns
%%
A slave has but one master; the ambitious man has as many masters as there are persons whose aide may contribute to the advancement of his fortune.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
As riches and favour forsake a man, we discover him to be a fool, but nobody could find it out in his prosperity.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
Children are overwhelming, supercilious, passionate, envious, inquisitive, egotistical, idle, fickle, timid, intemperate, liars and dissemblers; they laugh and weep easily, are excessive in their joys and sorrows, and that about the most trifling subjects; they bear no pain, but like to inflict it on others; already they are men.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgement to be silent.
-- Jean de La Bruyere
%%
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
-- Jean de La Bruyere
%%
Love lessens a woman's delicacy and increases a man's.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
Nothing more clearly show how little God esteems his gift to men of wealth, money, position and other worldly goods, than the way he distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with them.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
The very impossibility in which I find myself to prove that God is not, discovers to me his existence.
-- Jean de la Bruyere
%%
We must laugh before we are happy, for fear we die before we laugh at all.
-- Jean de La Bruyere
%%
Anglo-Saxon civilization has taught the individual to protect his own rights; American civilization will teach him to respect the rights of others.
-- William Jennings Bryan
%%
Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
-- William Jennings Bryan
%%
Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed.
-- William Jennings Bryan
%%
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
-- William Jennings Bryan
%%
Difficulty, my brethren, is the nurse of greatness a harsh nurse, who roughly rocks her foster children into strength and athletic proportion.
-- William Cullen Bryant
%%
Weep not that the world changes-did it keep a stable, changeless state, it were a cause indeed to weep.
-- William Cullen Bryant
%%
The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.
-- James Bryce
%%
We are restless because of incessant change, but we would be frightened if change were stopped.
-- Lyman Lloyd Bryson
%%
I am comforted by life's stability, by earth's unchangeableness. What has seemed new and frightening assumes its place in the unfolding of knowledge. It is good to know our universe. What is new is only new to us.
-- Pearl S Buck
%%
No one really understood music unless he was a scientist, her father had declared, and not just a scientist, either, oh, no, only the real ones, the theoreticians, whose language mathematics. She had not understood mathematics until he had explained to her that it was the symbolic language of relationships. "And relationships," he had told her, "contained the essential meaning of life."
-- Pearl S Buck
%%
Truth is always exciting. Speak it, then. Life is boring without it.
-- Pearl S Buck
%%
Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.
-- Mary Buckley
%%
I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.
-- William F Buckley
%%
Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.
-- William F Buckley, Jr
%%
An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.
-- Buddha
%%
As the fletcher whittles and makes straight his arrows, so the master directs his straying thoughts.
-- Buddha
%%
Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings ... that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.
-- Buddha
%%
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-- Buddha
%%
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha
%%
Everything changes, nothing remains without change.
-- Buddha
%%
He is able who thinks he is able.
-- Buddha
%%
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
-- Buddha
%%
Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.
-- Buddha
%%
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha
%%
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
-- Buddha
%%
The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them, each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other, always using friendly and sincere words.
-- Buddha
%%
There are friendships to one who lives in society; thus our present grief arises from having friendships; observing the evils resulting from friendship, let one walk alone like a rhinoceros.
-- Buddha
%%
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
-- Buddha
%%
Through zeal, knowledge is gotten, through lack of zeal, knowledge is lost; let a man who knows the double path of gain and loss thus place himself that knowledge may grow.
-- Buddha
%%
To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance.
-- Buddha
%%
We are what we think. All that we are arises With our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world.
-- Buddha
%%
You are all the Buddha.
-- Last words of Buddha
%%
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
-- Buddha
%%
Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.
-- Buddha
%%
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another.
-- Eustace Budgell
%%
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
-- Carl W Buechner
%%
Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality... not as we expect it to be but as it is... is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love.
-- Frederick Buechner
%%
Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and take a look around every once in a while, you could miss it.
-- Ferris Bueller
%%
We are the people our parents warned us about.
-- Jimmy Buffett
%%
We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition ... plowing straight ahead, come what may.
-- Jimmy Buffett
%%
Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.
-- George-Louis De Buffon
%%
Genius is patience.
-- Buffon
%%
Technology is the expression of the society; it is an expression of the values and the abilities of the people that generate it. It is indeed a most revealing indicator of our society. and the fact is that technology in turn shapes the values of a society and of its people.
-- George Bugliarello
%%
you don't like jail? naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.
-- Charles Bukowski
%%
First must give place to last, because last must have his time to come; but last gives place to nothing, for there is not another to succeed.
-- Bunyan
%%
Religion is the best armour that a man can have, but it is the worst cloak.
-- Bunyan
%%
They are for religion when in rags and contempt.
-- Bunyon
%%
I don't feel good.
-- Last words of Luther Burbank
%%
If you want a place in the sun, prepare to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Von Buren
%%
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess
%%
Women thrive on novelty and are easy meat for the commerce of fashion. Men prefer old pipes and torn jackets.
-- Anthony Burgess
%%
All government, indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue, and every prudent act, is founded on compromise and barter.
-- Edmund Burke
%%
Despots govern by terror. They know that he who fears God fears nothing else; and, therefore, they eradicate from the mind, through their Voltaire, the Heloetius, and the rest of that infamous gang, that only sort of fear that generates true courage.
-- Burke
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Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.
-- Edmund Burke
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Good order is the foundation of all things.
-- Edmund Burke
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Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
-- Edmund Burke
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Nothing is as fatal to religion as indifference.
-- Burke
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Old religious factions are volcanoes burnt out.
-- Burke
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Our patience will achieve more than our force.
-- Edmund Burke
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Superstition is the religion of feeble minds.
-- Burke
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
-- Edmund Burke
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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.
-- Edmund Burke
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The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedience, and by parts.
-- Edmund Burke
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There is a boundary to men's passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination.
-- Edmund Burke
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When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
-- Edmund Burke
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Whenever a separation is made between liberty and justice, neither, in my opinion, is safe.
-- Edmund Burke
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You can never plan the future by the past.
-- Edmund Burke
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Comedy is tragedy plus time.
-- Carol Burnett
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett
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Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
-- Carol Burnett
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Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out ... and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
-- George Burns
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-- George Burns
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I get a standing ovation just standing.
-- George Burns
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
-- George Burns
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I'm at that age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
-- George Burns
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If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very very few people die past the age of a hundred.
-- George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
-- George Burns
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.
-- George Burns, at age 90
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
-- George Burns
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Say good night, Gracie.
-- George Burns
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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
-- George Burns
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Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns
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Ae fond kiss, and then we sever! A farewell, and then forever! Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee, Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee. Who shall say that Fortune grieves him, While the star of hope she leaves him? Me, nae cheerful twinkle lights me, Dark despair around benights me.
-- Robert Burns
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The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men Gang aft agley.
-- Robert Burns
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The great Creator to revere Must sure become the creature; But still the preaching cant forbear, And ev'n the rigid feature: Yet ne'er with wits profane to range Be complaisance extended; An atheist laugh's a poor exchange For deity offended.
-- Robert Burns
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I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
-- John Burroughs
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To treat your facts with imagination is one thing, but to imagine your facts is another.
-- John Burroughs
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If you can't be just, be arbitrary.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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Intelligence and war are games, perhaps the only meaningful games left. If any player becomes too proficient, the game is threatened with termination.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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Language is a virus from outer space.
-- William S Burroughs
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Never give succour to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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Paradise is exactly like where you are right now, only much, much better.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts.
-- William S Burroughs
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Thanks, for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business. Thanks, for a nation of finks.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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The face of evil is always the face of total need.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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We must find out what words are and how they function. They become images when written down, but images of words repeated in the mind and not of the image of the thing itself.
-- William Seward Burroughs
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All places are distant from Heaven alike.
-- Burton
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The fear of God keeps men in obedience.
-- Burton
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The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
-- Richard Francis Burton
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A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.
-- Robert Burton
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A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself.
-- Robert Burton
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A good conscience is a continual feast.
-- Robert Burton
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No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread.
-- Robert Burton
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One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague.
-- Robert Burton
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Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.
-- Leo Buscaglia
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Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
-- Leo Buscaglia
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Good education is the essential foundation of a strong democracy.
-- Barbara Bush
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I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush
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[You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, to Richard Daley
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America does not seek aggression... nor does it seek to chart the destiny of other nations...
-- George Bush, Sr
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I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bush, Sr
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If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
-- Vannevar Bush
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An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler
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A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.
-- Samuel Butler
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A sense of humour keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are worth committing.
-- Samuel Butler
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All animals but men know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it - and they do enjoy it as much as man and other circumstances will allow it.
-- Samuel Butler
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All progress is based upon the universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.
-- Samuel Butler
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Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
-- Samuel Butler
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Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler
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God and man are powerless without one another.
-- Samuel Butler
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God cannot alter the past, but historians can.
-- Samuel Butler
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God is love. But what a mischievous devil Love is.
-- Butler
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If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler
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In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler
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Jesus! With all thy faults I love thee still.
-- Butler
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Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler
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Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
-- Samuel Butler
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Life is not an exact science, it is an art.
-- Samuel Butler
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Loyalty is still the same, Whether it win or lose the game; True as a dial to the sun, Although it be not shined upon.
-- Samuel Butler
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Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
-- Samuel Butler
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Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler
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The hen is an egg's way of producing another egg.
-- Samuel Butler
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Though God cannot alter the past, historians can.
-- Butler
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To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
-- Samuel Butler
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You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.
-- Samuel Butler
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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons
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To make pleasures pleasant, shorten them.
-- Charles Buxton
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You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.
-- Charles Buxton
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Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults encountered is proportional to the number of viewers.
-- Bye's First Law of Model Railroading
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Singing is a trick to get people to listen to music for longer than they would ordinarily.
-- David Byrne
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Cogito ergo dim sum.
-- Robert Byrne
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Complete this sentence: I never met a man I didn't like ... to cheat. ... at first. ... to avoid. ... better than you.
-- Robert Byrne
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Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
-- Robert Byrne
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Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.
-- Robert Byrne
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Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.
-- Robert Byrne
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Love will find a lay.
-- Robert Byrne
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The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
-- Robert Byrne
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There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
-- Robert Byrne
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Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life.
-- James F Byrnes
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Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.
-- James F Byrnes
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Life's to short for chess.
-- Henry James Byron
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'Tis pleasant, sure, to see one's name in print; A book's a book, although there's nothing in't.
-- Lord Byron
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Adversity is the first path to truth.
-- Lord Byron
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Friendship is Love without his wings!
-- Byron
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He who surpasses or subdues mankind, must look down on the hate of those below.
-- Lord Byron
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I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
-- Lord Byron
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In her first passion, a woman loves her lover, in all the others all she loves is love.
-- Lord Byron
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Let these describe the indescribable.
-- Lord Byron
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Man's love is of man's life a part; it is a woman's whole existence.
-- Lord Byron
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No ear can hear nor tongue tell the tortures of the inward hell!
-- Lord Byron
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Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron
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Smiles form the channel of a future tear.
-- Byron
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The truly brave are soft of heart and eyes, And feel for what their duty bids them do.
-- Byron
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There is no instinct like that of the heart.
-- Lord Byron
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What is a lie but the truth in masquerade.
-- Byron
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Whom the gods love, die young.
-- Byron
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
-- James Branch Cabell
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Men willingly believe what they will.
-- Caesar
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Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage
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I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage
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The important thing to recognize is that it takes a team, and the team ought to get credit for the wins and the losses. Successes have many fathers, failures have none.
-- Philip Caldwell
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To plunder, to slaughter, to steal, these things they misname empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace.
-- Calgacus
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It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.
-- Arthur Calwell
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Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.
-- Henry N Camp
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It does not pay a prophet to be too specific.
-- L Sprague de Camp
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Beauty's tears are lovelier than her smile.
-- Campbell
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Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-- Joseph Campbell
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Follow your bliss.
-- Joseph Campbell
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When you see the Earth from space, you don't see any divisions of nation-states there. This may be the symbol of the new mythology to come; this is the country we will celebrate, and these are the people we are one with.
-- Joseph Campbell
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Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die.
-- John W Campbell
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I don't mind where people make love, so long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses.
-- Mrs Patrick Campbell
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Marriage is the result of the longing for the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge.
-- Mrs Patrick Campbell
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The heart seldom feels what the mouth expresses.
-- Jean Galoert de Campistron
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An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
-- Albert Camus
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Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves.
-- Albert Camus
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Don't wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.
-- Albert Camus
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Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; don't walk behind me, I may not lead; walk beside me, and just be my friend.
-- Albert Camus
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Every time I hear a political speech or I read those of our leaders, I am horrified for having, for years, heard nothing which sounded human. It is always the same words telling the same lies. And the fact that men accept this, that the people's anger has not destroyed these hollow clowns, strikes me as proof that men attribute no importance to the way they are governed; that they gamble yes, gamble with a whole part of their life and their so called "vital interests."
-- Albert Camus
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How can sincerity be a condition of friendship? A taste for truth at any cost is a passion which spares nothing.
-- Albert Camus
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I enjoyed my own nature to the fullest, and we all know that there lies happiness, although, to soothe one another mutually, we occasionally pretend to condemn such joys as selfishness.
-- Albert Camus
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I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day.
-- Albert Camus
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If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.
-- Albert Camus
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In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.
-- Albert Camus
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It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning.
-- Albert Camus
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Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is.
-- Albert Camus
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Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.
-- Albert Camus
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Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus
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There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.
-- Albert Camus
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We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage.
-- Albert Camus
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What is a rebel? A man who says no.
-- Albert Camus
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Without freedom, no art; art lives only on the restraints it imposes on itself, and dies of all others.
-- Albert Camus
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You are forgiven for your happiness and your successes only if you generously consent to share them.
-- Albert Camus
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You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus
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Here's to the pilot that weathered the storm.
-- George Canning
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If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
-- Cannon's Comment
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He hasn't an enemy in the world but all his friends hate him.
-- Eddie Cantor
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The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls.
-- Father Robert F Capon
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I don't even know what street Canada is on.
-- Al Capone
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This American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you will, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
-- Al Capone
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Vote early and vote often.
-- Al Capone
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When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.
-- Al Capone
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You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone
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Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp
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There are only three sins - causing pain, causing fear, and causing anguish. The rest is window dressing.
-- Roger Caras
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His hidden meaning lies in our endeavours; our valors are our best gods.
-- Caratach
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The only good government ... is a bad one in a hell of a fright.
-- Joyce Carey
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Civil War. There's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.
-- Carlin
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Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin
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I'm completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
-- George Carlin
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-- George Carlin
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Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big.
-- George Carlin
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The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
-- George Carlin
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There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
-- George Carlin
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Weather forecast for tonight.... Dark.
-- George Carlin
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What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
-- George Carlin
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"Truth," I cried, "though the heavens crush me for following her; no falsehood, though a whole celestial Lubberland were the price of apostasy!"
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Alas! while the body stands so broad and brawny, must the soul lie blinded, dwarfed, stupefied, almost annihilated? Alas! this was, too, a breath of God, bestowed in heaven, but on earth never to be unfolded!
-- Thomas Carlyle
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All men, if they work not as in the great taskmaster's eye, will work wrong, and work unhappily for themselves and for you.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Do the duty which lieth nearest to thee! Thy second duty will already have become clearer.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Foolish men imagine that because judgment for an evil thing is delayed, there is no justice; but only accident here below. Judgment for an evil thing is many times delayed some day or two, some century or two, but it is sure as life, it is sure as death.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Happy are the people whose annals are blank in history books.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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How much lies in laughter; the cipherkey wherewith we decipher the whole man! Some men wear an everlasting barren simper; in the smile of others lies the cold glitter, as of ice; the fewest are able to laugh what can be called laughing, but only shiff and titter and sniggle from the throat ourwards, or at least produce some whiffing, husky cachinnation, as if they were laughing through wool; of none such comes good. The man who cannot laugh is only fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils; but his own whole life is already a treason and a stratagem.
-- Carlyle
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Humour Its essence is love; it issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.
-- Carlyle
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If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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In idleness there is a perpetual despair.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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In private life I never knew anyone interfere with other people's disputes but he heartily repented of it.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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It is not a lucky word, this name "impossible"; no good comes of those who have it so often in their mouths.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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It is the heart always that sees, before the head can see.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one rascal less in the world.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Oh, give us the man who sings at his work.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Popular opinion is the greatest lie in the world.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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The greatest of all faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - waif, a nothing, a no man. Have a purpose in life, and, having it, throw such strength of mind and muscle into your work as God has given you.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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The universe is but one vast Symbol of God.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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True humour springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.
-- Thomas Carlyle
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Worship is transcendent wonder.
-- Carlyle
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And while the law [of competition] may be sometimes hard for the individual, it is best for the race, because it ensures the survival of the fittest in every department.
-- Andrew Carnegie
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1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation. 2) Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. 3) Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. 4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. 5) Let the other person save face. 6) Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." 7) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. 8) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. 9) Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
-- Dale Carnegie
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All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the past together again. So let's remember: Don't try to saw sawdust.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
-- Dale Carnegie
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First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.
-- Dale Carnegie
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If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.
-- Dale Carnegie
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If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie
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If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying.
-- Dale Carnegie
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If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
-- Dale Carnegie
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It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date.
-- Dale Carnegie
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Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.
-- Dale Carnegie
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One of the most appalling comments on our present way of life is that half of all the beds in our hospitals are reserved for patients with nervous and mental troubles, patients who have collapsed under the crushing burden of accumulated yesterdays and fearful tomorrows. Yet a vast majority of those people would be walking the streets today, leading happy, useful lives, if they had only heeded the words of Jesus: "Have no anxiety about the morrow"; or the words of Sir William Osler; "Live in day-tight compartments."
-- Dale Carnegie
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The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don't like their rules, whose would you use?
-- Dale Carnegie
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The man who dies rich, dies disgraced.
-- Carnegie
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The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.
-- Dale Carnegie
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There is only one way under high Heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.
-- Dale Carnegie
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When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
-- Dale Carnegie
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When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.
-- Dale Carnegie
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You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
-- Dale Carnegie
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You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.
-- Dale Carnegie
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All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other people.
-- Alexis Carrel
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The first duty of society is to give each of its members the possibility of fulfilling his destiny. When it becomes incapable of performing this duty it must be transformed.
-- Alexis Carrel
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To what extent is any given man morally responsible for any given act? We do not know.
-- Alexis Carrel
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You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll
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"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll
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"What is the use of a book", thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?"
-- Lewis Carroll
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"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
-- Lewis Carroll
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'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought... So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One two! One two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
-- Lewis Carroll, "Jabberwocky"
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Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.
-- Lewis Carroll
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It was the best butter.
-- Lewis Carroll
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Seven years and six months! Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have said `Leave off at seven' - but it's too late now. I never ask advice about growing, Alice said indignantly. Too proud? the other enquired. Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. I mean, she said, that one can't help growing older. ONE can't, perhaps, said Humpty Dumpty; but TWO can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven.
-- Lewis Carroll
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The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today.
-- Lewis Carroll
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A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers
%%
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
-- Johnny Carson
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson
%%
The human race is challenged more than ever before to demonstrate our mastery ... not over nature but of ourselves.
-- Rachel Carson
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The lasting pleasures of contact with the natural world are not reserved for scientists but are available to anyone who will place himself under the influence of earth, sea and sky, and their amazing life.
-- Rachel Carson
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Those who dwell, as scientists or laymen, among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life. Whatever the vexations or concerns of their personal lives, their thoughts can find paths that lead to inner contentment and to renewed excitement in living. Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.
-- Rachel Carson
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In time of war the first casualty is truth.
-- Boake Carter
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We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles.
-- Jimmy Carter
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Brave spirits are a balsam to themselves; there is a nobleness of mind that heals wounds beyond salves.
-- Cartwright
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How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
-- George Washington Carver
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Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the House
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Humour is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
-- Romain Cary
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The men who succeed are the efficient few. They are the few who have the ambition and will power to develop themselves.
-- Herbert N Casson
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The revolution ... is a dictatorship of the exploited against the exploiters.
-- Fidel Castro
%%
No one can build his security upon the nobleness of another person.
-- Willa Cather
%%
Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. Others have their family; but to a solitary and an exile, his friends are everything.
-- Willa Cather
%%
Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.
-- Willa Cather
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The stupid believe that to be truthful is easy; only the artist, the great artist, knows how difficult it is.
-- Willa Cather
%%
Where there is great love, there are always wishes.
-- Willa Cather
%%
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin
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After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
-- Marcus Porcius Cato, the Elder
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When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna
%%
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
-- Dick Cavett
%%
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
-- Dick Cavett
%%
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian
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The first step towards knowledge is to know that we are ignorant.
-- Richard Cecil
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What! All this for a song?
-- William Cecil
%%
Most rich people are rich first and whatever else they are second.
-- Cerebus
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Everything beautiful has its moment and then passes away.
-- Luis Cernuda
%%
'Tis an old saying, the Devil lurks behind the cross. All is not gold that glitters. From the tail of the plough, Bamba was made King of Spain; and from his silks and riches was Rodrigo cast to be devoured by the snakes.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
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'Tis said of love that it sometimes goes, sometimes flies; runs with one, walks gravely with another; turns a third into ice, and sets a fourth in a flame: it wounds one, another it kills: like lightning it begins and ends in the same moment: it makes that fort yield at night which it besieged but in the morning; for there is no force able to resist it.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
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Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
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Faint heart ne'er won fair lady.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
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For if he like a madman lived; At least he like a wise one died.
-- Cervantes
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Love not what you are, but what you may become.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
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Never stand begging for what you have the power to earn. Miguel de Cervantes.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%%
Take care, your worship, those things over there are not giants but windmills.
-- Miguel Cervantes
%%
That's the nature of women not to love when we love them, and to love when we love them not.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%%
Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be!
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%%
Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%%
Truth may be stretched, but cannot be broken, and always gets above falsehood, as oil does above water.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%%
The bad thing about good things is they come to an end and the good thing about bad things is they also end.
-- Anamaria Rabattey Cervi
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The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
-- Allan K Chalmers
%%
Learn and think imperially.
-- Joseph Chamberlian
%%
Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless
%%
The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.
-- Chamfort
%%
The most wasted day of all is that during which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort
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The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.
-- Chamfort
%%
There is a melancholy that stems from greatness.
-- Chamfort
%%
Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort
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The law isn't justice. It's a very imperfect mechanism. If you press exactly the right buttons and are also lucky, justice may show up in the answer. A mechanism is all the law was ever intended to be.
-- Raymond Chandler
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The person who does not enjoy his own company is usually right.
-- Coco Chanel
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A market is the combined behaviour of thousands of people responding to information, misinformation and whim.
-- Kenneth Chang
%%
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage.
-- William Ellery Channing
%%
Faith is love taking the form of aspiration.
-- William Ellery Channing
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There are periods when the principles of experience need to be modified, when hope and trust and instinct claim a share with prudence in the guidance of affairs, when, in truth, to dare, is the highest wisdom.
-- William Ellery Channing
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True friendship is never serene.
-- Marie de Rabutin-Chantal
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They smell, they snarl and they scratch; they have a singular aptitude for shredding rugs, drapes and upholstery; they're sneaky, selfish and not at all smart; they are disloyal, condescending and totally useless in any rodent free environment.
-- Jean Michel Chapereau
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In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin
%%
Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.
-- Charlie Chaplin
%%
Mourn not the dead... But rather mourn the apathetic throng The cowed and meek Who see the world's great anguish and its wrong, And dare not speak.
-- Ralph Chaplin
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Let no man value at a little price a virtuous woman's counsel; her winged spirit is feathered often times with heavenly words, and, like her beauty, ravishing and pure.
-- Chapman
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They're only truly great who are truly good.
-- George Chapman
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Benevolence alone will not make a teacher, nor will learning alone do it. The gift of teaching is a peculiar talent, and implies a need and a craving in the teacher himself.
-- John Jay Chapman
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A quotation, like a pun, should come unsought, and then be welcomed only for some propriety of felicity justifying the intrusion.
-- Robert Chapman
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Liberty wasn't guaranteed by the Constitution. It was only given a chance.
-- Stephen Chapman
%%
The machine not only does it relieve us mechanically of a crushing weight of physical and mental labour; but by the miraculous enhancing of our senses, through its powers of enlargement, penetration and exact measurement, it constantly increases the scope and clarity of our perceptions. It fulfils the dream of all living creatures by satisfying our instinctive craving for the maximum of consciousness with a minimum of effort! Having embarked upon so profitable a path, how can Mankind fail to pursue it?
-- Teilhard de Chardin
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This is very true: For my words are my own, and my actions are my ministers.
-- Charles, II
%%
Is there anything in the universe more beautiful and protective than the simple complexity of a spider's web?
-- Charlotte
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In God we rust.
-- Gordon Charrick
%%
There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.
-- Emile Chartier
%%
Ful wys is he that can himselven knowe! (Very wise is he that can know himself.)
-- Chaucer
%%
There's never a new fashion but it's old.
-- Chaucer
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In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.
-- Cesar Chavez
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... only he is an emancipated thinker who is not afraid to write foolish things.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
A writer is not a confectioner, a cosmetic dealer, or an entertainer. He is a man who has signed a contract with his conscious and his sense of duty.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
If you cry "forward," you must without fail make plain in what direction to go.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
Love, friendship, respect, do not unite people as much as a common hatred of something.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
Man is what he believes.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
My business is to be talented, that is, to be capable of selecting the important moments from the trivial ones... It's about time for writers, particularly those who are genuine artists, to recognize that in this world you cannot figure out everything. Just have a writer who the crowds trust be courageous enough and declare that he does not understand everything, and that lone will represent a major contribution to the way people think, a long leap forward.
-- Anton Chekhov
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No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
One must be a god to be able to tell successes from failures without making a mistake.
-- Anton Chekhov
%%
It is easy to take liberty for granted when you have never had it taken from you.
-- Disk Cheney
%%
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing ... and then marry him.
-- Cher
%%
A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things but cannot receive great ones.
-- Lord Chesterfield
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Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
If you are not in fashion, you are nobody.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness; no laziness; no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
Knowledge may give weight, but accomplishments give lustre, and many more people see than weigh.
-- Earl of Chesterfield
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Learning is acquired by reading books; but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge of the world, is only to be acquired by reading men, and studying all the various editions of them.
-- Lord Chesterfield
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Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
Sex: The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
Since attaining the full use of my reason no one has ever heard me laugh.
-- Earl of Chesterfield
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The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.
-- Lord Chesterfield
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The vulgar only laugh, but never smile; whereas wellbred people often smile, but seldom laugh.
-- Chesterfield
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We, my Lords, may thank Heaven that we have something better than out brains to depend on.
-- Lord Chesterfield, to the House of Lords
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Whenever a man seeks your advice he generally seeks your praise.
-- Lord Chesterfield
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You must look into people, as well as at them.
-- Lord Chesterfield
%%
... But nature does not say that cats are more valuable than mice; nature makes no remark on the subject. She does not even say that the cat is enviable or the mouse pitiable. We think the cat superior because we have (or most of us have) a particular philosophy to the effect that life is better than death. But if the mouse were a German pessimist mouse, he might not think that the cat had beaten him at all. He might think he had beaten the cat by getting to the grave first.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
A man's friends like him but leave him as he is: his wife loves him and is always trying to turn him into somebody else.
-- Gilbert K Chesterton
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Adventure is the champagne of life.
-- Chesterton
%%
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.
-- G K Chesterton
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Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.
-- G K Chesterton
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Art consists of limitation The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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Brave men are all vertebrates; they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- Gilbert K Chesterton
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I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.
-- Gilbert K Chesterton
%%
I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals...
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Journalism is popular, but it is popular mainly as fiction. Life is one world, and life seen in the newspapers is another.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness or as good as drink.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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People generally quarrel because they cannot argue.
-- Gilbert K Chesterton
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Progress is the mother of all problems.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Reason is itself a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
The cosiness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up. And one of the games to which it is most attached is called, ``Keep tomorrow dark,'' and which is also named (by the rustics in Shropshire, I have no doubt) ``Cheat the Prophet.'' The players listen very carefully and respectfully to all that the clever men have to say about what is to happen in the next generation. The players then wait until all the clever men are dead, and bury them nicely. Then they go and do something else. That is all. For a race of simple tastes, however, it is great fun.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit, the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist.
-- Gilbert K Chesterton
%%
The object of opening the mind as of opening the mouth is to close it again on something solid.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
%%
Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and therefore congenial to it.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
Virtue is not the absence of vices or the avoidance of moral dangers; virtue is a vivid and separate thing, like pain or a particular smell.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G K Chesterton
%%
The cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word 'love.' It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life.
-- Lydia Maria Child
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I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton
%%
By not interfering the sage improves the people's lives.
-- The Tao Te Ching
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Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understanding.
-- Tao Te Ching
%%
If rulers take too much grain People rapidly starve; If rulers take too much freedom People easily rebel; If rulers take too much happiness. People gladly die.
-- The Tao Te Ching
%%
The government that seems the most unwise, Oft goodness to the people best supplies; That which is meddling, touching everything, Will work but ill, and disappointment bring.
-- The Tao Te Ching
%%
The more morals and taboos there are, The more cruelty afflicts people; The more guns and knives there are, The more factions divide people; The more arts and skills there are, The more change obsoletes people; The more laws and taxes there are, The more theft corrupts people.
-- The Tao Te Ching
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Yet take no action, and the people nurture each other; Make no laws, and the people deal fairly with each other; Own no interest, and the people cooperate with each other; Express no desire, and the people harmonize with each other.
-- The Tao Te Ching
%%
If you do something which you are sure will meet with everyone's approval, somebody won't like it.
-- Chisholm's Third Law
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If you explain something so clearly that no one can possible misunderstand, somebody will.
-- Chisholm's Fourth Law
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Procedures designed to implement the purpose won't quite work.
-- Chisholm's Fifth Law
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The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: 'It's a girl.'
-- Shirley Chisholm
%%
... dissent, protest, pressures of a wide variety that escape elite control can modify the calculus of costs of planners, and offer a slight hope that Washington can be compelled to permit at least some steps towards 'justice, freedom and democracy' within its domains.
-- Avram Noam Chomsky
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... Insidious is the cry for 'revolution,' at a time when not even the germs of new institutions exist, let alone the moral and political consciousness that could lead to a basic modification of social life. If there will be a 'revolution' in America today, it will no doubt be a move towards some variety of fascism. We must guard against the kind of revolutionary rhetoric that would have had Karl Marx burn down the British Museum because it was merely part of a repressive society. It would be criminal to overlook the serious flaws and inadequacies in our institutions, or to fail to utilize the substantial degree of freedom that most of us enjoy, within the framework of these flawed institutions, to modify them or even replace them by a better social order. One who pays some attention to history will not be surprised if those who cry most loudly that we must smash and destroy are later found among the administrators of some new system of repression.
-- Avram Noam Chomsky
%%
The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history.
-- Noam Chomsky
%%
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie
%%
I never could make out what those damn dots meant.
-- Lord Randolph Churchill
%%
... You ask, What is our policy? I will say; "It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy." You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory - victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
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A communist is like a crocodile: when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
A joke is a very serious thing.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
An iron curtain has descended across the Continent.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Danger - if you meet it promptly and without flinching - you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Don't talk to me about Naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Give us the tools and we will finish the job.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I am always willing to learn. I do not, however, always enjoy being taught.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact, if anything, I am the prod.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
%%
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I like a man who grins when he fights.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time... a tremendous whack.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
In war: resolution. In defeat: defiance. In victory: magnanimity. In peace: goodwill.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
It is a socialist idea that making profits is a vice; I consider the real vice is making losses.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
%%
Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
MacDonald has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the 'worst' form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Of course, we are all worms... but I like to think, at least, that I am a glowworm.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
-- a conversation between Lady Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill
%%
Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
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Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
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The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill
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The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill
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The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
%%
The price of greatness is responsibility.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
%%
The problems of victory are more agreeable than the problems of defeat, but they are no less difficult.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
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The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
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The whole history of the world is summed up in the fact that, when nations are strong, they are not always just, and when they wish to be just, they are no longer strong.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.
-- Winston Churchill
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There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which we shall not put.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could make a good peace would never have won the war.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
-- Sir Winston Churchill
%%
True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain hazardous, and conflicting information.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
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Vast and fearsome as the human scene has become, personal contact of the right people, in the right places, at the right time, may yet have a potent and valuable part to play in the cause of peace which is in our hearts.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Well, dinner would have been splendid... if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess.
-- Winston Churchill
%%
Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
Why Sir Churchill you are drunk! "And you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning!"
-- a conversation between Lady Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill
%%
Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd. Without innovation, it is a corpse.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing ... after they've tried everything else.
-- Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
%%
As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano
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A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi
%%
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi
%%
Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
-- John Ciardi
%%
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi
%%
Who fears t' offend takes the first step to please.
-- Cibber
%%
A friend is, as it were, a second self.
-- Cicero
%%
An unjust peace is better than a just war.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
Anyone can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.
-- Cicero
%%
Avarice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the read the nearer we approach to our journey's end.
-- Cicero
%%
Freedom is the power to live as you will. Who then lives as he wills?
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
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Friendship is the only thing in the world concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed.
-- Cicero
%%
I remind you, sir, that extreme patriotism in the defence of liberty is no vice, and moderation in the pursuit of justice no virtue.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
Justice consists in doing no injury to men; decency in giving them no offence.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
Liberty consists in the power of doing that which is permitted by law.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
Life is nothing without friendship.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
Life without learning is death.
-- Cicero
%%
May the Gods avert this omen.
-- Cicero
%%
Men resemble the gods in nothing so much as in doing good to their fellow creatures.
-- Cicero
%%
No Sane man will dance.
-- Cicero
%%
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero
%%
The avarice of the old: it's absurd to increase one's luggage as one nears the journey's end.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
The more laws, the less justice.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
%%
The noblest spirit is most strongly attracted to the love of glory.
-- Cicero
%%
The six most drastic mistakes made by humans: 1) The delusion that individual advancement is made by crushing others. 2) The tendency to worry about things that cannot be changed. 3) Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot do it ourselves. 4) Refusing to set aside trivial preferences. 5) Neglecting development and refinement of the mind, and not acquiring the habits of reading and study. 6) Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
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The welfare of the people is the chief law.
-- Cicero
%%
There is something in the nature of things which the mind of man, which reason, which human power cannot effect, and certainly that which produces this must be better than man. What can this be but God?
-- Cicero
%%
To give counsel as well as to take it is a feature of true friendship.
-- Cicero
%%
To live long, it is necessary to live slowly.
-- Cicero
%%
When you are aspiring to the highest place, it is honourable to reach the second or even the third rank.
-- Cicero
%%
Anyone can escape into sleep, we are all geniuses when we dream, the butcher's the poet's equal there.
-- E M Cioran
%%
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
%%
URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990's.
-- Chris Clark
%%
Give me one friend, just one, who meets The needs of all my varying moods.
-- Esther M Clark
%%
Who will protect the public when the police violate the law?
-- Ramsey Clark
%%
In the relationship between man and religion, the state is firmly committed to a position of neutrality.
-- Thomas Campbell Clark
%%
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
-- Clarke's First Law
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is possible, he is almost certainly right; but if he says that it is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case the idea is quite staggering.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
Talent borrows, but genius steals.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
They became farmers in the fields of stars; they sowed, and sometimes they reaped. And sometimes, dispassionately, they had to weed.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
They know that we represent reason and science, and, however confident they may be in their beliefs, they fear that we will overthrow their gods. Not necessarily through any deliberate act, but in a subtler fashion. Science can destroy religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving its tenets. No one ever demonstrated so far as I am aware, the nonexistence of Zeus or Thor but they have few followers now.
-- Arthur C Clarke
%%
The atheist has no hope.
-- J F Clarke
%%
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
-- Von Clausewitz
%%
I had rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay
%%
Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay
%%
I see music as the augmentation of a split second of time.
-- Erin Cleary
%%
In the increasingly mechanized, automated, cybernated environment of the modern world a cold, bodiless world of wheels, smooth plastic surfaces, tubes, pushbuttons, transistors, computers, jet propulsion, rockets to the moon, atomic energy man's need for affirmation of his biology has become that much more intense.
-- Eldridge Cleaver
%%
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau
%%
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau
%%
War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
-- George Clemenceau
%%
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
-- Samual Clemmens
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He mocks the people who proposes that the Government shall protect the rich and they in turn will care for the labouring poor.
-- Grover Cleveland
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... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrannize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.
-- Voltarine de Cleyre
%%
Children of Waco, I feel your pain!
-- William J Clinton
%%
I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
-- William J Clinton
%%
There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured with what is right in America.
-- William J Clinton
%%
If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.
-- Irvin S Cobb
%%
It is not the greatness of a man's means that makes him independent, so much as the smallness of his wants.
-- William Cobbett
%%
Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time.
-- Jean Cocteau
%%
I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau
%%
The actual tragedies of life bear no relation to one's preconceived ideas. In the event, one is always bewildered by their simplicity, their grandeur of design, and by that element of the bizarre which seems inherent in them.
-- Jean Cocteau
%%
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-- Jean Cocteau
%%
Always leave them laughing when you say goodbye.
-- George M Cohan
%%
Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.
-- Chapman Cohen
%%
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts not the facts themselves.
-- Jerome Cohen
%%
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B Cohen
%%
The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.
-- Mark B Cohen
%%
There are many inside dopes in politics and government.
-- Mark B Cohen
%%
Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power but only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.
-- Mark B Cohen
%%
The United States has a government, security organizations and allies. The Soviet Union, however, has a regime, secret police and satellites. Our leaders are consummate politicians; their are wily, cunning or worse. We give the world information and seek influence; they disseminate propaganda and disinformation while seeking expansion and domination.
-- Stephen Cohen
%%
He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen
%%
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy... the mother.
-- Claudette Colbert
%%
Every man ought to be inquisitive through every hour of his great adventure down to the day when he shall no longer cast a shadow in the sun. For if he dies without a question in his heart, what excuse is there for his continuance?
-- Frank Moore Colby
%%
It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something.
-- Ornette Coleman
%%
'The game is done! I've won, I've won!', Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
-- S T Coleridge
%%
Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
All thoughts, all passions, all delights. Whatever stirs this mortal frame. All are but ministers of Love. And feed His sacred flame.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
Five miles meandering with mazy motion, Through dale the sacred river ran, Then reached the caverns measureless to man, And sank the tumult to a lifeless ocean: And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far Ancestral voices prophesying war!
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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In politics, what begins in fear usually ends in folly.
-- Coleridge
%%
Its body brevity, and wit its soul...
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
Language is the armoury of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honour.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
Our quaint metaphysical opinions, in an hour of anguish, are like playthings by the bedside of a child deathly sick.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
-- Samuel T Coleridge
%%
There are three classes of elderly women; first, that dear old soul; second, that old woman; third, that old witch.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink. Water, water everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
%%
... I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honourable deceit, for a greater control over myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long periods of time.
-- Colette
%%
Never touch a butterfly's wing with your finger.
-- Colette
%%
How many feasible projects have miscarried through despondency, and been strangled in their birth by a cowardly imagination.
-- Jeremy Collier
%%
We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.
-- Gary Collins
%%
Half our mistakes in life arise from feeling where we ought to think, and thinking where we ought to feel.
-- John Churton Collins
%%
Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody.
-- John Churton Collins
%%
A man who knows the world will not only make the most of everything he does know, but of many things that he does not know; and will gain more credit by his adroit mode of hiding his ignorance than the pendant by his awkward attempt to exhibit his erudition.
-- Colton
%%
Applause is the spur of noble minds, the end and aim of weak ones.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Constant success shows us but one side of the world; adversity brings out the reverse of the picture.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship-never.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Friendship, of itself a holy tie, Is made more sacred by adversity.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us through all its mazes and meanderings, but leads none of us by the same route.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
He that will have no books but those that are scarce, evinces about as correct a taste in literature as he would do in friendship, who would have no friends but those whom all the rest of the world have sent to Coventry.
-- Colton
%%
If you want enemies, excel others; if you want friends let others excel you.
-- Colton
%%
Ladies of Fashion starve their happiness to feed their vanity, and their love to feed their pride.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Men will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it, anything but live for it.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, and the other to be buried.
-- Colton
%%
Peace is the evening star of the soul, as virtue is its sun; and the two are never far apart.
-- Colton
%%
Pleasure is to Women what the Sun is to the Flower; if moderately enjoyed, it beautifies, it refreshes, and it improves; if immoderately, it withers, etiolates, and destroys.
-- Colton
%%
The profoundly wise do not declaim against superficial knowledge in others, as much as the profoundly ignorant.
-- Colton
%%
To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Tyrants have not yet discovered any chains that can fetter the mind.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
We should act with as much energy as those who expect everything from themselves; and we should pray with as much earnestness as those who expect everything from God.
-- Colton
%%
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
-- Charles Caleb Colton
%%
Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu
%%
Each honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy based on excellence of performance.
-- James Bryant Conant
%%
The job of satire is to frighten and enlighten.
-- Richard Condon
%%
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
-- Confucius
%%
Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honours depend upon heaven.
-- Confucius
%%
Girl with blonde hair have black hair, by cracky.
-- Confucius
%%
He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them.
-- Confucius
%%
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
-- Confucius
%%
If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.
-- Confucius
%%
If the name is not correct, the words will not ring true.
-- Confucius
%%
If the root be in confusion, nothing will be well governed.
-- Confucius
%%
If we don't know life, how can we know death?
-- Confucius
%%
If you enjoy what you do, you'll never work another day in your life.
-- Confucius
%%
In a country well governed poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed wealth is something to be ashamed of.
-- Confucius
%%
It is not possible for one to teach others who cannot teach his own family.
-- Confucius
%%
Learning without thought is labour lost.
-- Confucius
%%
Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
-- Confucius
%%
Man kicked in testicles, is left holding bags.
-- Confucius
%%
Man who farts in church sit on pew.
-- Confucius
%%
Man who fishes in other mans well catches crabs.
-- Confucius
%%
Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.
-- Confucius
%%
Man with holes in pockets feels cocky all day.
-- Confucius
%%
Man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
-- Confucius
%%
Mankind differs from the animals only by a little, and most people throw that away.
-- Confucius
%%
Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.
-- Confucius
%%
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
-- Confucius
%%
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
-- Confucius
%%
Rotten wood cannot be carved.
-- Confucius
%%
The cautious seldom err.
-- Confucius
%%
The Master said, 'Clever talk and a pretentious manner' are seldom found in the Good.
-- Confucius
%%
The Master said, (the good man) does not grieve that other people do not recognize his merits. His only anxiety is lest he should fail to recognize theirs.
-- Confucius
%%
The Master said, To learn and at due times to repeat what one has learnt, is that not after all a pleasure? That friends should come to one from afar, is this not after all delightful? To remain unsoured even though one's merits are unrecognized by others, is that not after all what is expected of a gentleman?
-- Confucius
%%
The object of the superior man is truth.
-- Confucius
%%
The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.
-- Confucius
%%
They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
-- Confucius
%%
To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.
-- Confucius
%%
To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice.
-- Confucius
%%
Tsze-Kung asked, saying, "Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life?" The Master said, "Is not Reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others."
-- Confucius
%%
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbours.
-- Confucius
%%
We don't know yet about life, how can we know about death?
-- Confucius
%%
Woman who douches with vinegar have sour puss.
-- Confucius
%%
Woman who shaves legs have no hair, by cracky.
-- Confucius
%%
Work to become, not to acquire.
-- Confucius
%%
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve
%%
Men are apt to offend ('tis true) where they find most goodness to forgive.
-- William Congreve
%%
Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.
-- William Congreve
%%
In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally
%%
In America every woman has her set of girl-friends; some are cousins, the rest are gained at school. These form a permanent committee who sit on each other's affairs, who "come out" together, marry and divorce together, and who end as those groups of bustling, heartless well-informed club-women who govern society. Against them the Couple of Ehepaar is helpless and Man in their eyes but a biological interlude.
-- Cyril Connolly
%%
Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk.
-- Cyril Connolly
%%
Truth is a river that is always splitting up into arms that reunite. Islanded between the arms the inhabitants argue for a lifetime as to which is the main river.
-- Cyril Connolly
%%
... it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence, that which makes its truth, its meaning, its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream, -alone.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
A fool like that is unfathomable.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
All ambitions are lawful except those that climb upward on the miseries or credulities of mankind.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
Every age is fed on illusions, lest man should renounce life early and the human race come to an end.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
I can't tell if a straw ever saved a drowning man, but I know that a mere glance is enough to make despair pause. For in truth we who are creatures of impulse are creatures of despair.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
I only know that he who forms a tie is lost. The germ of corruption has entered his soul.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
Only in men's imagination does every truth find an effective and undeniable existence. Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art, as of life.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
Technologies don't transfer.
-- Conrad's Conundrum
%%
The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
The last thing a woman will consent to discover in a man whom she loves, or on whom she simply depends, is want of courage.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
You shall judge of a man by his foes as well as by his friends.
-- Joseph Conrad
%%
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
-- US Constitution
%%
The opera isn't over till the fat lady sings.
-- Dan Cook
%%
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook
%%
A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.
-- Alistair Cooke
%%
How wise are they that are but fools in love!
-- Cooke
%%
If computers take over (which seems to be their natural tendency), it will serve us right.
-- Alistair Cooke
%%
An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one.
-- Charles Horton Cooley
%%
One should never criticize his own work except in a fresh and hopeful mood. The self-criticism of a tired mind is suicide.
-- Charles Horton Cooley
%%
Our individual lives cannot, generally, be works of art unless the social order is also.
-- Charles Horton Cooley
%%
Prudence and compromise are necessary means, but every man should have an impudent end which he will not compromise.
-- Charles Horton Cooley
%%
When one ceases from conflict, whether because he has won, because he has lost, or because he cares no more for the game, the virtue passes out of him.
-- Charles Horton Cooley
%%
I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge
%%
It takes a great man to be a good listener.
-- Calvin Coolidge
%%
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
-- Calvin Coolidge
%%
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
-- Calvin Coolidge
%%
You don't have to explain something you never said.
-- Calvin Coolidge
%%
It is a besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which masses of men exhibit their tyranny.
-- James Fenimore Cooper
%%
The tendency of democracies is, in all things, to mediocrity.
-- James Fenimore Cooper
%%
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper
%%
The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer to that would be, "No."
-- Aaron Copland
%%
When one buys some of my artwork I hope it is because they will wish to learn from it and not because they think it will match their drapes!
-- Christian Cardell Corbet
%%
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
-- Ronnie Corbett
%%
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what it is you want to hear.
-- Alan Coren
%%
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey
%%
Love lives on hope, and dies when hope is dead; It is a flame which sinks for lack of fuel.
-- Pierre Corneille
%%
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.
-- Billiam Coronel
%%
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
-- Bill Cosby
%%
Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.
-- E Joseph Cossman
%%
Square meals often make round people.
-- E Joseph Cossman
%%
In America only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.
-- Geoffrey Cottrell
%%
The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
-- Alan Coult
%%
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak toys?
-- Douglas Coupland
%%
Obedience to Law is Liberty.
-- Etched into the facade of the Worcester County Courthouse
%%
You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception.
-- Victor Cousin
%%
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
-- Norman Cousins
%%
History is a vast early warning system.
-- Norman Cousins
%%
Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.
-- Stephen Covey
%%
Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey
%%
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
-- Robert R Coveyou
%%
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward
%%
God made the country, and man made the town.
-- Cowper
%%
God moves in a mysterious way. His wonders to perform; He plants his footsteps in the sea, And rides upon the storm.
-- William Cowper
%%
Man may dismiss compassion from his heart, but God never will.
-- William Cowper
%%
The dogs did bark, the children screamed; Up flew the windows all; And every soul bawled out; Well done! As loud as he could bawl.
-- William Cowper
%%
Watergate showed more strengths in our system than weaknesses... The whole country did take part in quite a genuine sense in passing judgment on Richard Nixon.
-- Archibald Cox
%%
Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C Coxe
%%
Habits are safer than rules; you don't have to watch them. And you don't have to keep them either. They keep you.
-- Frank Crane
%%
Most of the things we decide are not what we know to be the best. We say yes, merely because we are driven into a corner and must say something.
-- Frank Crane
%%
There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane
%%
A man feared that he might find an assassin; Another that he might find a victim. One was more wise than the other.
-- Stephan Crane
%%
Supposing that I should have the courage to let a red sword of virtue plunge into my heart... What can you offer me? A garden castle? A flowery kingdom? What? A hope? Then hence with your red sword of virtue.
-- Stephen Crane
%%
The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting.
-- Stephen Crane
%%
They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford
%%
To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford
%%
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford
%%
When fortune sends a stormy wind, Then show a brave and present mind; And when with too indulgent gales She swells too much, then furl thy sails.
-- Creech
%%
Nothing is fair in the world.
-- Gangrel Crenshaw
%%
Of the darkness we are all born.
-- Gangrel Crenshaw
%%
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
-- Robert X Cringely
%%
Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do not like and once you understand that, you understand all. This idea that love overtakes you is nonsense. This is but a polite manifestation of sex. To love another you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
-- Quentin Crisp
%%
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp
%%
Philosophy removes from religion all reason for existing ... As the science of the spirit, it looks upon religion as a phenomenon, a transitory historical fact, a psychic condition that can be surpassed.
-- Benedetto Croce
%%
It is not fit that you should sit here any longer!
-- Oliver Cromwell
%%
The whole business of marshalling one's energies becomes more and more important as one grows older.
-- Hume Cronyn
%%
A day without a pun is a day without sunshine; there is gloom for improvement.
-- John S Crosbie
%%
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
-- Norm Crosby
%%
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowfoot, Blackfoot warior and orator
%%
Most of our future lies ahead.
-- Danny Crum
%%
We don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.
-- John Culkin
%%
And what i want to know is how do you like your blueeyed boy Mister Death.
-- E E Cummings
%%
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- Edward Estlin Cummings
%%
It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.
-- Edward Estlin Cummings
%%
Since feeling is first, who pays any attention to the syntax of things, will never wholly kiss you; Wholly to be a fool, while Spring is in the world. My blood approves, and kisses are a better fate than wisdom. Lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry ... the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids' flutter which says, we are for each other: Then laugh, leaning back in my arms for life's not a paragraph. And death i think is no parenthesis.
-- Edward Estlin Cummings
%%
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- E E Cummings
%%
To be nobody-but-yourself... in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else... means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
-- Edward Estlin Cummings
%%
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr Jerome Cummings
%%
Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr Jerome Cummings
%%
One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done.
-- Marie Curie
%%
The condition upon which God has given liberty to man is eternal vigilance.
-- John Philpot Curran
%%
There are, of course, several things in Ontario that are more dangerous than wolves. For instance, the step-ladder.
-- J W Curran
%%
Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.
-- George William Curtis
%%
There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer
%%
God never built a Christian strong enough to carry today's duties and tomorrow's anxieties piled on top of them.
-- Theodore Ledyard Cuyler
%%
The people who oppose your ideas are inevitably those who represent the established order that your ideas will upset.
-- Anthony D'Angelo
%%
Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community.
-- Anthony J D'Angelo
%%
In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.
-- Idi Amin Dada
%%
It takes a long time to understand nothing.
-- Edward Dahlberg
%%
Always helping;
-- Edward A Dains
%%
To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of your life.
-- Abbie M Dale
%%
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley
%%
The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents.
-- Salvador Dali
%%
Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die.
-- Salvador Dali
%%
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
%%
If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
%%
Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels
%%
Beauty awakens the soul to act.
-- Dante
%%
I love to doubt as well as know.
-- Dante
%%
Small projects need much more help than great.
-- Dante
%%
You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs.
-- Dante
%%
Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner
%%
Because I'm evil, and love is gone. My love is gone.
-- Danzig
%%
He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands
%%
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
Freedom comes from human beings, rather than from laws and institutions.
-- Clarence Seward Darrow
%%
History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of.
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
I don't believe in god because I don't believe in Mother Goose.
-- Darrow
%%
Life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on someone else.
-- Clarence Seward Darrow
%%
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
There is no such thing as justice... in or out of court.
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow
%%
A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
-- Charles Darwin
%%
An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
-- Charles Darwin
%%
History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another.... Truly the imago state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step gained.
-- Charles Robert Darwin
%%
If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin.
-- Charles Darwin
%%
It has been a bitter mortification for me to digest the conclusion that the 'race is for the strong' and that I shall probably do little more but be content to admire the strides others made in science.
-- Charles Darwin
%%
Faith lights us through the dark to Deity.
-- Davenant
%%
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralysing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
-- Guy Davenport
%%
The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless. When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.
-- James Dale Davidson
%%
It is no longer my moral duty as a human being to achieve an integrated and unitary set of explanations for my thoughts and feelings.
-- Bronwyn Davies
%%
Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.
-- Robertson Davies
%%
The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies
%%
The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealized past.
-- Robertson Davies
%%
I had ambition, by which sin The angels fell; I climbed, and step by step, oh Lord, Ascended into Hell.
-- W H Davies
%%
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis
%%
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone- but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
-- Bette Davis
%%
Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis
%%
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
-- Evan Davis
%%
I'll play with it first and tell you what it is later.
-- Miles Davis
%%
Language is not only the vehicle of thought, it is a great and efficient instrument in thinking.
-- Humphrey Davy
%%
'Tis not the fairest form that holds The mildest, purest soul within; 'Tis not the richest plant that holds The sweetest fragrance in.
-- Dawes
%%
Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity.
-- Charles G Dawes
%%
Information's pretty thin stuff, unless mixed with experience.
-- Clarence Day
%%
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomaches.
-- David Daye
%%
It ain't braggin' if you can back it up.
-- Dizzy Dean
%%
You really have to experience the feeling of being with the president in the oval office. ... It's a disease I came to call Ovalitis.
-- John Dean
%%
A sense of continuity with the rest of creation is a form of religious experience essential to sanity.
-- Rene Debos
%%
The most heroic word in all languages is revolution.
-- Eugene Debs
%%
Music is the space between the notes.
-- Claude Debussy
%%
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
%%
O what a heaven is love! O what a hell!
-- Thomas Dekker
%%
Idealists of course are unpredictable. They tend to be the ones who turn bitter overnight, deceived by the lies they've told themselves.
-- Don DeLillo
%%
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
-- William Dement
%%
It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.
-- W Edwards Deming
%%
Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.
-- Denham
%%
It is better to have tried and failed than to have failed to try, but the result's the same.
-- Mike Dennison
%%
Each problem that I solved became a rule, which served afterwards to solve other problems.
-- Rene Descartes
%%
I think; therefore I am.
-- Rene Descartes
%%
It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes
%%
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story.
-- Desiderata
%%
Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
-- Desiderata
%%
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
-- Desiderata
%%
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
-- Desiderata
%%
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
-- Desiderata
%%
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
-- Desiderata
%%
Go placidly amid the noise & haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
-- Desiderata
%%
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for there will always be greater & lesser persons than yourself.
-- Desiderata
%%
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness.
-- Desiderata
%%
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
-- Desiderata
%%
With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
-- Desiderata
%%
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
-- Desiderata
%%
When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries
%%
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar
%%
Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open.
-- Lord Thomas Dewar
%%
The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along.
-- Thomas R Dewar
%%
Complete adaptation to environment means death. The essential point in all response is the desire to control environment.
-- John Dewey
%%
Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination.
-- John Dewey
%%
Independent selfpeople (would be) a counterproductive anachronism in the collective society of the future [...] (where) people will be defined by their associations.
-- John Dewey
%%
To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.
-- John Dewey
%%
Better than a thousand useless words is one single word that gives peace. Better than a thousand useless verses is one single verse that gives peace. Better than a hundred useless poems is one single poem that gives peace.
-- The Dhammapada
%%
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick
%%
A loving heart is the truest wisdom.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
I only ask for information.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
I wants to make your flesh creep.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
Keep up appearances whatever you do.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
Life is made of ever so many partings welded together.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips....
-- Charles Dickens
%%
Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
The law is [sic] a ass - a idiot.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
There might be some credit in being jolly.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
Trifles make the sum of life.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
What I want is Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and root out everything else.
-- Charles Dickens
%%
... the fog is rising.
-- Last words of Emily Dickinson
%%
A word is dead, When it is said; Some say. I say It just began to live that day.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Beauty is not caused. It is.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Because I could not stop for Death ... He kindly stopped for me ... The carriage held but just ourselves And immortality.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Hope is a strange invention.. A Patent of the Heart.. In unremitting action. Yet never wearing out.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Hope is the thing with feathers.. That perches in the soul.. And sings the tunes without the words.. And never stops.. at all...
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
I shall not live in vain: If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those we have personality and emotion know what it means to want to escape from these things.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
The Possible's slow fuse is lit By the Imagination.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Unable are the Loved to die For Love is Immortality.
-- Emily Dickinson
%%
Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all! By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall.
-- John Dickinson
%%
It was all right to talk about it. They made plans. They had a moment's vision, a fleeting dream. But in the end, some lack in their moral fibre, some gnawing, nibbling fear held them back. They never started. They stayed where they were. They dropped back. They failed somehow to release within themselves that power which lies in every individual, and is released only when he starts forward in a straight line for the object about which he has dreamed. The man who never starts, never feels that sense of power.
-- Ray Dickinson
%%
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
-- Gordon R Dickson
%%
Democrats make up plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
-- Paul Dickson
%%
We owe most of what we know to about one hundred men. We owe most of what we have suffered to another hundred or so.
-- R W Dickson
%%
Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
-- Bo Diddley
%%
[It would be safer] never to participate in anything in the future without consulting the American Legion or your local Chamber of Commerce.
-- Martin Dies
%%
Afraid of death? One should be afraid of life, not death.
-- Marlene Dietrich
%%
The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman, any woman, with beautiful legs.
-- Marlene Dietrich
%%
... but the times had gotten inside them in some ways as they aged, and made them both ordinary. While they were not meant to be; no one is. No child on earth was ever meant to be ordinary, and you can see it in them, and they know it, too, but then the times get to them, and they wear out their brains learning what folks expect, and spend their strength trying to rise over those same folks.
-- Annie Dillard
%%
Children ten years old wake up and find themselves here, discover themselves to have been here all along; is this sad?... I woke in bits, like all children, piecemeal over the years. I discovered myself and the world, and forgot them, and discovered them again. I woke at intervals until... the intervals of waking tipped the scales, and I was more often awake than not. I noticed this process of waking, and predicted with terrifying logic that one of these years not far away I would be awake continuously and never slip back, and never be free of myself again.
-- Annie Dillard
%%
Just once I wanted a task that required all the joy I had. Day after day I had noticed that if I waited long enough, my strong unexpressed joy would dwindle and dissipate inside me, over many hours, like a fire subsiding, and I would at last calm down. Just this once I wanted to let it rip.
-- Annie Dillard
%%
Marriage began to strike him as a theatre, where actors gratefully dissimulate, in ordinary affection and trust, their bottom feeling, which is a mystery too powerful to be endured. They know and feel more than life in time can match; they must anchor themselves against eternity, so they play on a painted set, lest they swing out into the twining realms. He was acquiring a taste for those realms, for the cold strata of colours he saw from the beach, for the crack of thin darkness that spread behind the thick sky.
-- Annie Dillard
%%
Peeping through my keyhold I see within the range of only about 30 percent of the light that comes from the sun; the rest is infrared and some little untraviolet, perfectly apparent to many animals, but invisible to me. A nightmare network of ganglia, charged and firing without my knowledge, cuts and splices what I see, editing it for my brain. Donald E. Carr points out that the sense impressions of one-celled animals are not edited for the brain: 'This is philosophically interesting in a rather mournful way, since it means that only the simplest animals perceive the universe as it is.'
-- Annie Dillard
%%
Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you.
-- Annie Dillard
%%
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and "cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller
%%
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller
%%
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller
%%
The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Earl Wentworth Dillon
%%
All serious conversations gravitate towards philosophy.
-- Ernest Dimnet
%%
Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet
%%
Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.
-- Isak Dinesen
%%
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- New York City Mayor David Dinkins
%%
After this Alexandros left Dareios's mother, his daughters, and his son in Susa, providing them with persons to teach them the Hellenic dialect, ...
-- Diodoros, of Sicily
%%
Alexandros observed that his soldiers were exhausted with their constant campaigns. ... The hooves of the horses had been worn thin by steady marching. The arms and armour were wearing out, and the Hellenic clothing was quite gone. They had to clothe themselves in materials of the barbarians, ...
-- Diodoros, of Sicily
%%
Along with lavish display of every sort, Philip included in the procession statues of the twelve Gods wrought with great artistry and adorned with a dazzling show of wealth to strike awe to the beholder, and along with these was conducted a thirteenth statue, suitable for a god, that of Philip himself, so that the king exhibited himself enthroned among the twelve Gods.
-- Diodoros, of Sicily
%%
Every seat in the theatre was taken when Philip appeared wearing a white cloak and by his express orders his bodyguard held away from him and followed only at a distance, since he wanted to show publicly that he was protected by the goodwill of all the Hellenes, and had no need of a guard of spearmen.
-- Diodoros, of Sicily
%%
Such was the end of Philip ... He had ruled 24 years. He is known to fame as one who with but the slenderest resources to support his claim to a throne won for himself the greatest empire among the Hellenes, while the growth of his position was not due so much to his prowess in arms as to his adroitness and cordiality in diplomacy.
-- Diodoros, of Sicily
%%
To arrive at perfection, a man should have very sincere friends or inveterate enemies; because he would be made sensible of his good or ill conduct, either by the censures of the one, or the admonitions of the other.
-- Diogenes
%%
Get your cut throat off my knife.
-- Diane Diprima
%%
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac
%%
A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
-- Everett Dirksen
%%
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney
%%
A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
A consistent man believes in destiny, a capricious man in chance.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
A man can know nothing of mankind without knowing something of himself. Self-knowledge is the property of that man whose passions have their full play, but who ponders over their results.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
A political party is organized opinion.
-- Disraeli
%%
A precedent embalms a principle.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
All of us encounter, at least once in our life, some individual who utters words that make us think forever. There are men whose phrases are oracles; who can condense in one sentence the secrets of life; who blurt out an aphorism that forms a character, or illustrates an existence.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
As a general rule, the most successful man in life is the man who has the best information.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Change is as inexorable as time, yet nothing meets with more resistance.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Change is inevitable in a progressive country. Change is constant.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Colonies do not cease to be colonies because they are independent.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Every woman should marry ... and no man.
-- Disraeli
%%
I hate definitions.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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I've climbed to the top of the greasy pole.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
In a progressive country change is constant; ... change ... is inevitable.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
It is easier to be critical than correct.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to practical use. Knowledge must be gained by ourselves. Mankind may supply us with the facts; but the results, even if they agree with previous ones, must be the work of our mind.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Like all great travellers, I have seen more than I remember and remember more than I have seen.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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Man is not the creature of circumstances; circumstances are the creatures of men.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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Never complain and never explain.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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Never take anything for granted.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when to forego an advantage.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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Nine-tenths of all existing books are nonsense.
-- Disraeli
%%
Nobody is forgotten when it is convenient to remember him.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Success is the child of audacity.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, it would be a calamity.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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The secret of success is constancy of purpose.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotations.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
This shows how much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
When I want to read a book, I write one.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
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When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
When we would prepare the mind by a forcible appeal, and opening quotation is a symphony precluding on the chords those tones we are about to harmonize.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
%%
I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to.
-- Bob Dobbes
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The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- J Frank Dobie
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Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd
%%
Come not between the dragon and his wrath...
-- Tremere Dohlman
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Once, it was I who cast the shadow...
-- Ventrue Dohlman
%%
The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.
-- Marcus Dolengo
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A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
-- Fats Domino
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Every man's death diminishes me. Therefore ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.
-- John Donne
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I am two fools, I know, For loving, and for saying so in Whining poetry.
-- John Donne
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Love built on beauty, soon as beauty dies.
-- John Donne
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More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne
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No man is an Island, entire of it self; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promitory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
-- John Donne
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A good dinner sharpens wit, while it softens the heart.
-- Doran
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I am utterly incapable of concentration on anything as long as I have nothing but the unknown and the undecided before my eyes.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky
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If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky
%%
Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky
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The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky
%%
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, and I'm happy to say I've finally won out over it.
-- Elwood P Doud
%%
If you become a success, you don't change everyone else does.
-- Kirk Douglas
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Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas
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The longer one lives, the more one realizes that nothing is a dish for every day.
-- Norman Douglas
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Government should be concerned with antisocial conduct, not with utterances.
-- Supreme Court Justice William O Douglas
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The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.
-- Supreme Court Justice William Orville Douglas
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At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. Oh, had I the ability and could I reach the nation's ear, I would today pour out a fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting reproach, withering sarcasm and stern rebuke. For it is not light that is needed, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder.
-- Frederick Douglass
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Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them.
-- Frederick Douglass
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If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those of us who profess to favour freedom yet depreciate agitation are men who want the crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters... This struggle may be a moral one or a physical one, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never has and never will. Show me the exact amount of wrong and injustices that are visited upon a person and I will show you the exact amount of words endured by these people. These wrongs and injustices may be fought with words or with blows or both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.
-- Frederick Douglass
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The soul that is within me no man can degrade.
-- Frederick Douglass
%%
Without a struggle, there can be no progress.
-- Frederick Douglass
%%
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.
-- Arthur Conan Doyle
%%
It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
%%
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
%%
You know my methods, Watson.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
%%
Life is but an unfair circle, intertwined among the ruins of my salvation as a soul of this universe. My humble despair deserves no such fate; perhaps sometime in the near distant future I may live to say 'This really sucks!'
-- Eric Dransfeldt
%%
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.
-- Peter F Drucker
%%
Management by objective works if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don't.
-- Peter Drucker
%%
The computer is a moron.
-- Peter Drucker
%%
There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
-- Peter Drucker
%%
When the government talks about raising capital it means printing it. That's not very creative, but it's what we're going to do.
-- Peter Drucker
%%
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
-- Henry Drummond
%%
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave.
-- William Drummond
%%
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave.
-- William Drummond
%%
Accurst ambition, how dearly I have bought you.
-- John Dryden
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All human things are subject to decay, And, when Fate summons, monarchs must obey; This Flecknoe found, who like Augustus young Was call'd to empire, and had govern'd long: In prose and verse, was own'd, without dispute Through all the realms of nonsense, absolute.
-- John Dryden
%%
Beware of the fury of the patient man.
-- John Dryden
%%
Reason to rule but mercy to forgive: The first is the law, the last prerogative.
-- John Dryden
%%
Such subtle covenants shall be made, Till peace itself is war in masquerade.
-- Dryden
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The people have a right supreme To make their kings, for Kings are made for them. All Empire is no more than Pow'r in Trust, Which when resum'd, can be no longer just. Succession for the general good design'd, In its own wrong a Nation cannot bind.
-- John Dryden
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War, he sung, is toil and trouble; Honour but an empty bubble.
-- John Dryden
%%
We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.
-- John Dryden
%%
Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.
-- Andre Dubus
%%
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
-- Ducharme's Precept
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Everything that can be invented, has been invented.
-- Charles H Duell
%%
Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it.
-- Georges Duhamel
%%
We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory.
-- Georges Duhamel
%%
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas
%%
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas
%%
Nothing succeeds like success.
-- Alexandre Dumas
%%
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan
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What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.
-- Isadora Duncan
%%
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
-- David Dunham
%%
The work of the world is done on hate. All work done well is well done only when persons hate work done shoddily. Justice can exist only when injustice is hated, laws only when lawlessness is hated, and education only when ignorance is hated. Every improvement this world has ever known was brought about because someone hated intolerable conditions.
-- Jane Dunlop
%%
Change is an easy panacea. It takes character to stay in one place and be happy there.
-- Elizabeth Clarke Dunn
%%
Don't jump on a man unless he's down.
-- Finley Peter Dunne
%%
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne
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Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th'ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.
-- Finley Peter Dunne
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Trust Everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne
%%
As soon as liberty is complete it dies in anarchy.
-- Will Durant
%%
Civilization is a stream with banks. The stream is sometimes filled with blood from people killing, stealing, shouting and doing the things historians usually record, while on the banks, unnoticed, people build homes, make love, raise children, sing songs, write poetry and even whittle statues. The story of civilization is the story of what happened on the banks. Historians are pessimists because they ignore the banks for the river.
-- Will Durant
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Knowledge is the eye of desire and can become the pilot of the soul.
-- Will Durant
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Life oscillates between Voltaire and Rousseau, Confucius and Lao-Tze, Socrates and Christ. After every idea has had its day with us and we have fought for it not wisely or too well, we in our turn shall tire of the battle, and pass on to the young our thinning fascicle of ideals. Then we shall take to the woods with Jacques, Jean-Jacques, and Lao-Tze; we shall make friends of the animals, and discourse more contentedly than Machiavelli with simple peasant minds; we shall leave the world to stew in its own deviltry, and shall take no further thought of its reform.
-- Will Durant
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No one man, however brilliant or well-informed, can come in one lifetime to such a fullness of understanding as to safely judge and dismiss the customs or institutions of his society, for these are the wisdom of the generations after centuries of experiment in the laboratory of history.
-- Will Durant
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One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
-- Will Durant
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When liberty destroys order, the hunger for order will destroy liberty.
-- Will Durant
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I imagine, therefore I belong and am free.
-- Lawrence Durrell
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Music was invented to confirm human loneliness.
-- Lawrence Durrell
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Our inventions mirror our secret wishes.
-- Lawrence Durrell
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Truth disappears with the telling of it.
-- Lawrence Durrell
%%
IBM uses what I like to call the 'hole-in-the-ground technique' to destroy the competition..... IBM digs a big HOLE in the ground and covers it with leaves. It then puts a big POT OF GOLD nearby. Then it gives the call, 'Hey, look at all this gold, get over here fast.' As soon as the competitor approaches the pot, he falls into the pit.
-- John C Dvorak
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"We must do something" is the unanimous refrain. "You begin" is the deadening refrain.
-- Walter Dwight
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Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are.
-- Henry Van Dyke
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Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.
-- Henry Van Dyke
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A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.
-- Bob Dylan
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The times they are a-changing.
-- Bob Dylan
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It's better to get mugged than to live a life of fear.
-- Freeman Dyson
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Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God's gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences.
-- Freeman Dyson
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The principle of maximum diversity operates both at the physical and at the mental level. It says that the laws of nature and the initial conditions are such as to make the universe as interesting as possible. As a result, life is possible but not too easy. Always when things are dull, something new turns up to challenge us and to stop us from settling into a rut. Examples of things which make life difficult are all around us: comet impacts, ice ages, weapons, plagues, nuclear fission, computers, sex, sin and death. Not all challenges can be overcome, and so we have tragedy. Maximum diversity often leads to maximum stress. In the end we survive, but only by the skin of our teeth.
-- Freeman Dyson
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The framers of the Bible did an exceptional job of not being to specific so that absolutely no amount of scientific evidence will lessen the good book's credibility in the eyes of the brainwashed millions.
-- David Eade
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Yes, Jesus Christ had followers, but so did Charles Manson. Were they the twelve disciples, or the twelve nut cases?
-- David Eade
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Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J W Eagan
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Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart
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I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early
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They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Congressman Joe Early
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The defining function of the artist is to cherish consciousness.
-- Max Eastman
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I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will.
-- Clint Eastwood
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A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.
-- Abba Eban
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A statesman who keeps his ear permanently glued to the ground will have neither elegance of posture nor flexibility of movement.
-- Abba Eban
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His ignorance is encyclopedic.
-- Abba Eban
%%
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
-- Abba Eban
%%
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
-- Abba Eban
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Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don't worship it. Feed it.
-- Aubrey Eben
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We find that the sexual instinct, when disappointed and unappeased, frequently seeks and finds a substitute in religion.
-- Baron Richard von Krafft-Ebing
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Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works.
-- Ecclesiastes, 9:7
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The more God is in all things, the more He is outside them. The more He is within, the more without.
-- Meister Eckhart
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If an army of monkeys were strumming on typewriters, they might write all the books in the British Museum.
-- Sir Arthur Eddington
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That's the nature of research... you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- "Doc" Edgerton
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Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.
-- Arnold Edinborough
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
-- Dave Edison
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All Bibles are man-made.
-- Thomas Edison
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Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine percent perspiration.
-- Thomas Alva Edison
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I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
-- Thomas Edison
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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison
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If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
-- Thomas Edison
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Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
-- Thomas Edison
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Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.
-- Thomas A Edison
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There is no substitute for hard work.
-- Thomas Edison
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To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
-- Thomas Edison
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The standardized American is largely a myth created not least by Americans themselves.
-- Irwin Edman
%%
We love a joke that hands us a pat on the back while it kicks the other fellow downstairs.
-- Edson
%%
Increase of freedom in the State may sometimes promote mediocrity, and give vitality to prejudice; it may even retard useful legislation, diminish the capacity for war, and restrict the boundaries of Empire.... A generous spirit prefers that his country should be poor and weak, and of no account, but free, rather than powerful, prosperous, and enslaved.
-- Lord John Emerich Edward
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If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards
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People are always ready to admit a man's ability after he gets there.
-- Bob Edwards
%%
Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never grow so.
-- Tryon Edwards
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He that never changes his opinions, never corrects his mistakes, will never be wiser on the morrow than he is today.
-- Tryon Edwards
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If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards
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A human being is part of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
-- Albert Einstein
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A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labours of others.
-- Albert Einstein
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A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms [ ] it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man.
-- Albert Einstein
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A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein
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A man's ethical behaviour should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
-- Albert Einstein
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A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein
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A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy.
-- Albert Einstein
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All our lauded technological progress ... our very civilization - is like the axe in the hand of the pathological criminal.
-- Albert Einstein
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All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.
-- Albert Einstein
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An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
-- Albert Einstein
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Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein
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As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
-- Albert Einstein
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As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein
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Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
-- Albert Einstein
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Desire for approval and recognition is a healthy motive, but the desire to be acknowledged as better, stronger or more intelligent than a fellow being or fellow scholar easily leads to an excessively egoistic psychological adjustment, which may become injurious for the individual and for the community.
-- Albert Einstein
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Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
During the last century, and part of the one before, it was widely held that there was an unreconcilable conflict between knowledge and belief. The opinion prevailed among advanced minds that it was time that belief should be replaced increasingly by knowledge; belief that did not itself rest on knowledge was superstition, and as such had to be opposed. According to this conception, the sole function of education was to open the way to thinking and knowing, and the school, as the outstanding organ for the people's education, must serve that end exclusively.
-- Albert Einstein, quoting Newton
%%
E=MC²
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Every once in a while, stop and enjoy an ice cream cone.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.
-- Albert Einstein
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Evil triumphs when good people do nothing.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Force always attracts men of low morality, and I believe it to be an invariable rule that tyrants of genius are succeeded by scoundrels.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
God does not play dice with the universe.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
God is subtle, but he is not malicious. [Raffinerat ist der Herr Gott, aber boshaft ist Er nicht.]
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.
-- Albert Einstein
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How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I am convinced that some political and social activities and practices of the Catholic organizations are detrimental and even dangerous for the community as a whole, here and everywhere. I mention here only the fight against birth control at a time when overpopulation in various countries has become a serious threat to the health of people and a grave obstacle to any attempt to organize peace on this planet.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I assert that the cosmic religious experience is the strongest and the noblest driving force behind scientific research.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the kind that we experience in ourselves. Neither can I nor would I want to conceive of an individual that survives his physical death; let feeble souls, from fear or ab surd egoism, cherish such thoughts. I am satisfied with the mystery of the eternity of life and with the awareness and a glimpse of the Marvellous structure of the existing world, together with the devoted striving to comprehend a portion, be it ever so tiny, of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I cannot conceive of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals, or would directly sit in judgment on creatures of his own creation. I cannot do this in spite of the fact that mechanistic causality has, to a certain extent, been placed in doubt by modern science. [He was speaking of Quantum Mechanics and the breaking down of determinism.] My religiosity consists in a humble admiratation of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance ... but for us, not for God.
-- Albert Einstein
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I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modelled after our own ... a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbour such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I maintain that cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest incitement to scientific research.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I sometimes ask myself how it came about that I was the one to develop the theory of relativity. The reason, I think, is that a normal adult never stops to think about problems of space and time. These are things which he has thought about as a child. But my intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which I began to wonder about space and time only when I had already grown up.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I think that a particle must have a separate reality independent of the measurements. That is an electron has spin, location and so forth even when it is not being measured. I like to think that the moon is there even if I am not looking at it.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If A equals success, then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. ... I get most joy in life out of music.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If my theory of relativity is proven correct, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
-- Albert Einstein
%%
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein
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If the possibility of the spiritual development of all individuals is to be secured, a second kind of outward freedom is necessary. The development of science and of the creative activities of the spirit in general requires still another kind of freedom, which may be characterised as inward freedom. It is this freedom of the spirit which consists in the interdependence of thought from the restrictions of authoritarian and social prejudices as well as from unphilosophical routinizing and habit in general. This inward freedom is an infrequent gift of nature and a worthy object for the individual.
-- Albert Einstein
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein
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If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
-- Albert Einstein
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Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world.
-- Albert Einstein
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In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself.
-- Albert Einstein
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In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein
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In the temple of science are many mansions, and various indeed are they that dwell therein and the motives that have led them hither. Many take to science out of a joyful sense of superior intellectual power; science is their own special sport to which they look for vivid experience and the satisfaction of ambition; many others are to be found in the temple who have offered the products of their brains on this altar for purely utilitarian purposes. Were an angel of the Lord to come and drive all the people belonging to these two categories out of the temple, the assemblage would be seriously depleted, but there would still be some men, of both present and past times, left inside.
-- Albert Einstein
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein
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Intelligence makes clear to us the interrelationship of means and ends. But mere thinking cannot give us a sense of the ultimate and fundamental ends. To make clear these fundamental ends and valuations and to set them fast in the emotional life of the individual, seems to me precisely the most important function which religion has to form in the social life of man.
-- Albert Einstein
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It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
-- Albert Einstein
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It is a magnificent feeling to recognize the unity of complex phenomena which appear to be things quite apart from the direct visible truth.
-- Albert Einstein
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It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein
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It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.
-- Albert Einstein
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It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.
-- Albert Einstein
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It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.
-- Albert Einstein
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Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift.
-- Albert Einstein
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Knowledge of what is does not open the door directly to what should be. If one asks the whence derives the authority of fundamental ends, since they cannot be stated and justified merely by reason, one can only answer: they exist in a healthy society as powerful traditions, which act upon the conduct and aspirations and judgements of the individuals; they are there, that is, as something living, without its being necessary to find justification for their existence. They come into being not through demonstration but through revelation, through the medium of powerful personalities. One must not attempt to justify them, but rather to sense their nature simply and clearly.
-- Albert Einstein
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein
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Making allowances for human imperfections, I do feel that in America the most valuable thing in life is possible; the development of the individual and his creative powers.
-- Albert Einstein
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Man tries to make for himself in the fashion that suits him best a simplified and intelligible picture of the world; he then tries to some extent to substitute this cosmos of his for the world of experience, and thus to overcome it. This is what the painter, the poet, the speculative philosopher, and the natural scientists do, each in his own fashion. Each makes this cosmos and its construction the pivot of his emotional life, in order to find in this way peace and security which he can not find in the narrow whirlpool of personal experience.
-- Albert Einstein
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Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else ... unless it is an enemy.
-- Albert Einstein
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My life is a simple thing that would interest no one. It is a known fact that I was born and that is all that is necessary.
-- Albert Einstein
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My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
-- Albert Einstein
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Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race.
-- Albert Einstein
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Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs.
-- Albert Einstein
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No, this trick wont work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
-- Albert Einstein
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Nor do I take into account a danger of starting a chain reaction of a scope great enough to destroy part or all of the planet... But it is not necessary to imagine the earth being destroyed like a nova by a stellar explosion to understand vividly the growing scope of atomic war and to recognize that unless another war is prevented it is likely to bring destruction on a scale never before held possible, and even now hardly conceived, and that little civilization would survive it.
-- Albert Einstein
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Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
-- Albert Einstein
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Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.
-- Albert Einstein
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Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.
-- Albert Einstein
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One should guard against inculcating a young man with the idea that success is the aim of life, for a successful man normally receives from his peers an incomparably greater portion than the services he has been able to render them deserve. The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving. The most important motive for study at school, at the university, and in life is the pleasure of working and thereby obtaining results which will serve the community. The most important task for our educators is to awaken and encourage these psychological forces in a young man {or woman}. Such a basis alone can lead to the joy of possessing one of the most precious assets in the world - knowledge or artistic skill.
-- Albert Einstein
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One should guard against preaching to young people success in the customary form as the main aim in life. The most important motive for work in school and in life is pleasure in work, pleasure in its result, and the knowledge of the value of the result to the community.
-- Albert Einstein
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Only a life lived for others is worth living.
-- Albert Einstein
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Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
-- Albert Einstein
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-- Albert Einstein
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Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize our age.
-- Albert Einstein
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Politics is a pendulum whose swings between anarchy and tyranny are fuelled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions.
-- Albert Einstein
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Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.
-- Albert Einstein
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Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
-- Albert Einstein
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein
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Relativity teaches us the connection between the different descriptions of one and the same reality.
-- Albert Einstein
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Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
-- Albert Einstein
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Science is the century-old endeavour to bring together by means of systematic thought the perceptible phenomena of this world into as thorough-going an association as possible. To put it boldly, it is the attempt at a posterior reconstruction of existence by the process of conceptualisation. Science can only ascertain what is, but not what should be, and outside of its domain value judgements of all kinds remain necessary.
-- Albert Einstein
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Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein
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Scientific research is based on the idea that everything that takes place is determined by laws of nature, and therefore this holds for the action of people. For this reason, a research scientist will hardly be inclined to believe that events could be influenced by a prayer, i.e. by a wish addressed to a Supernatural Being.
-- Albert Einstein, responding to a child who wrote and asked if scientists pray, 1936
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Since I do not foresee that atomic energy is to be a great boon for a long time, I have to say that for the present it is a menace. Perhaps it is well that it should be. It may intimidate the human race into bringing order into it's international affairs, which without the pressure of fear, it would not do.
-- Albert Einstein
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Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
-- Albert Einstein
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Strange is our Situation Here Upon Earth.
-- Albert Einstein
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Teaching should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty.
-- Albert Einstein
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Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
-- Albert Einstein
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The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
-- Albert Einstein
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The discovery of nuclear chain reactions need not bring about the destruction of mankind any more than did the discovery of matches. We only must do everything in our power to safeguard against its abuse. Only a supranational organization, equipped with a sufficiently strong executive power, can protect us.
-- Albert Einstein
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The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.
-- Albert Einstein
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The faster you go, the shorter you are.
-- Albert Einstein
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
-- Albert Einstein
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The finest emotion of which we are capable is the mystic emotion. Herein lies the germ of all art and all true science. Anyone to whom this feeling is alien, who is no longer capable of wonderment and lives in a state of fear is a dead man. To know that what is impenetrable for us really exists and manifests itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, whose gross forms alone are intelligible to our poor faculties - this knowledge, this feeling ... that is the core of the true religious sentiment. In this sense, and in this sense alone, I rank myself among profoundly religious men.
-- Albert Einstein
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The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the authority imperil the foundation of sound judgment and action.
-- Albert Einstein
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The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.
-- Albert Einstein
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The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein
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The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein
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The highest principles for our aspirations and judgements are given to us in the Jewish-Christian religious tradition. It is a very high goal which, with our weak powers, we can reach only very inadequately, but which gives a sure foundation to our aspirations and valuations. If one were to take that goal out of out of its religious form and look merely at its purely human side, one might state it perhaps thus: free and responsible development of the individual, so that he may place his powers freely and gladly in the service of all mankind. ... it is only to the individual that a soul is given. And the high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule, or to impose himself in any other way.
-- Albert Einstein
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The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books... a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects.
-- Albert Einstein
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The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty, and truth. To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this basis would be sufficient only for a herd of cattle.
-- Albert Einstein
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the Marvellous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.
-- Albert Einstein
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The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.
-- Albert Einstein
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The mere formulation of a problem is far more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skills. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle requires creative imagination and marks real advances in science.
-- Albert Einstein
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The more a man is imbued with the ordered regularity of all events the firmer becomes his conviction that there is no room left by the side of this ordered regularity for causes of a different nature. For him neither the rule of human nor the rule of divine will exist as an independent cause of natural events. To be sure, the doctrine of a personal God interfering with the natural events could never be refuted, in the real sense, by science, for this doctrine can always take refuge in those domains in which scientific knowledge has not yet been able to set foot. But I am persuaded that such behaviour on the part of the representatives of religion would not only be unworthy but also fatal. For a doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear light but only in the dark, will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable harm to human progress .... If it is one of the goals of religions to liberate mankind as far as possible from the bondage of egocentric cravings, desires, and fears, scientific reasoning can aid religion in another sense. Although it is true that it is the goal of science to discover (the) rules which permit the association and foretelling of facts, this is not its only aim. It also seeks to reduce the connections discovered to the smallest possible number of mutually independent conceptual elements. It is in this striving after the rational unification of the manifold that it encounters its greatest successes, even though it is precisely this attempt which causes it to run the greatest risk of falling a prey to illusion. But whoever has undergone the intense experience of successful advances made in this domain, is moved by the profound reverence for the rationality made manifest in existence. By way of the understanding he achieves a far reaching emancipation from the shackles of personal hopes and desires, and thereby attains that humble attitude of mind toward the grandeur of reason, incarnate in existence, and which, in its profoundest depths, is inaccessible to man. This attitude, however, appears to me to be religious in the highest sense of the word. And so it seems to me that science not only purifies the religious impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious spiritualisation of our understanding of life.
-- Albert Einstein
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The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
-- Albert Einstein
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The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.
-- Albert Einstein
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The only real valuable thing is intuition.
-- Albert Einstein
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The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
-- Albert Einstein
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The only source of knowledge is experience.
-- Albert Einstein
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The point is to develop the childlike inclination for play and the childlike desire for recognition and to guide the child over to important fields for society. Such a school demands from the teacher that he be a kind of artist in his province.
-- Albert Einstein
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The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
-- Albert Einstein
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The process of scientific discovery is, in effect, a continual flight from wonder.
-- Albert Einstein
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The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
-- Albert Einstein
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The real difficulty, the difficulty which has baffled the sages of all times, is rather this: how can we make our teaching so potent in the emotional life of man, that its influence should withstand the pressure of the elemental psychic forces in the individual?
-- Albert Einstein
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The real problem is in the hearts and minds of men. It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man.
-- Albert Einstein
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The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
-- Albert Einstein
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The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. The religion which based on experience, which refuses dogmatic. If there's any religion that would cope the scientific needs it will be Buddhism....
-- Albert Einstein
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The satisfaction of physical needs is indeed the indespensable precondition of a satisfactory existence, but in itself is not enough. In order to be content men must also have the possibility of developing their intellectual and artistic powers to whatever extent accord with their personal characteristics and abilities.
-- Albert Einstein
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The school has always been the most important means of transferring the wealth of tradition from one generation to the next. This applies today in an even higher degree than in former times, for through modern development of economic life, the family as bearer of tradition and education has become weakened. The continuance and health of human society is therefore in a still higher degree dependent on school than formally.
-- Albert Einstein
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein
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The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
-- Albert Einstein
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The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self.
-- Albert Einstein
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The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.
-- Albert Einstein
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The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
-- Albert Einstein
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There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe.
-- Albert Einstein
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein
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Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
-- Albert Einstein
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Those instrumental goods which should serve to maintain the life and health of all human beings should be produced by the least possible labour of all.
-- Albert Einstein
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Through the release of atomic energy, our generation has brought into the world the most revolutionary force since prehistoric man's discovery of fire. This basic force of the universe cannot be fitted into the outmoded concept of narrow nationalisms. For there is no secret and there is no defence; there is no possibility of control except through the aroused understanding and insistence of the peoples of the world. We scientists recognise our inescapable responsibility to carry to our fellow citizens an understanding of atomic energy and its implication for society. In this lies our only security and our only hope - we believe that an informed citizen will act for life and not for death.
-- Albert Einstein
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To me the worst thing seems to be a school principally to work with methods of fear, force and artificial authority. Such treatment destroys the sound sentiments, the sincerity and the self-confidence of pupils and produces a subservient subject.
-- Albert Einstein
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Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
-- Albert Einstein
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True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.
-- Albert Einstein
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Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
-- Albert Einstein
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Two things inspire me to awe ... the starry heavens above and the moral universe within.
-- Albert Einstein
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Understanding of our fellow human beings... becomes fruitful only when it is sustained by sympathetic feelings in joy and sorrow.
-- Albert Einstein
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Unless Americans come to realize that they are not stronger in the world because they have the bomb but weaker because of their vulnerability to atomic attack, they are not likely to conduct their policy at Lake Success [the United Nations] or in their relations with Russia in a spirit that furthers the arrival at an understanding.
-- Albert Einstein
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Watch the stars, and from them learn. To the Master's honour all must turn, each in its track, without a sound, forever tracing Newton's ground.
-- Albert Einstein
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We all know, from what we experience with and within ourselves, that our conscious acts spring from our desires and our fears. Intuition tells us that that is true also of our fellows and of the higher animals. We all try to escape pain and death, while we seek what is pleasant. We are all ruled in what we do by impulses; and these impulses are so organised that our actions in general serve for our self preservation and that of the race. Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation. At the same time, as social beings, we are moved in the relations with our fellow beings by such feelings as sympathy, pride, hate, need for power, pity, and so on. All these primary impulses, not easily described in words, are the springs of man's actions. All such action would cease if those powerful elemental forces were to cease stirring within us. Though our conduct seems so very different from that of the higher animals, the primary instincts are much alike in them and in us. The most evident difference springs from the important part which is played in man by a relatively strong power of imagination and by the capacity to think, aided as it is by language and other symbolical devices. Thought is the organising factor in man, intersected between the causal primary instincts and the resulting actions. In that way imagination and intelligence enter into our existence in the part of servants of the primary instincts. But their intervention makes our acts to serve ever less merely the immediate claims of our instincts.
-- Albert Einstein
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We have penetrated far less deeply into the regularities obtaining within the realm of living things, but deeply enough nevertheless to sense at least the rule of fixed necessity ..... what is still lacking here is a grasp of the connections of profound generality, but not a knowledge of order itself.
-- Albert Einstein
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We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
-- Albert Einstein
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Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
-- Albert Einstein
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What I see in Nature is a magnificent structure that we can comprehend only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a feeling of "humility." This is a genuinely religious feeling that has nothing to do with mysticism.
-- Albert Einstein
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What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.
-- Albert Einstein
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When a blind beetle crawls over the surface of the globe, he doesn't realize that the track he has covered is curved. I was lucky enough to have spotted it.
-- Albert Einstein
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When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
-- Albert Einstein
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When the number of factors coming into play in a phenomenological complex is too large scientific method in most cases fails. One need only think of the weather, in which case the prediction even for a few days ahead is impossible. Nevertheless, no one doubts that we are confronted with a causal connection whose causal components are in the main known to us. Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction because of the variety of factors in operation, not because of any lack of order in nature.
-- Albert Einstein
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When the solution is simple, God is answering.
-- Albert Einstein
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
-- Albert Einstein
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Where the world ceases to be the scene of our personal hopes and wishes, where we face it as free beings admiring, asking and observing, there we enter the realm of Art and Science.
-- Albert Einstein
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Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods.
-- Albert Einstein
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Why does this applied science, which saves work and makes life easier, bring us so little happiness? The simple answer runs: Because we have not yet learned to make sensible use of it.
-- Albert Einstein
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With the affairs of active human beings it is different. Here knowledge of truth alone does not suffice; on the contrary this knowledge must continually be renewed by ceaseless effort, if it is not to be lost. It resembles a statue of marble which stands in the desert and is continuously threatened with burial by the shifting sands. The hands of science must ever be at work in order that the marble column continue everlastingly to shine in the sun. To those serving hands mine also belong.
-- Albert Einstein
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Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.
-- Albert Einstein
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You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
-- Albert Einstein
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You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
-- Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio
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For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.
-- Larry Eisenberg
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I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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Our best protection against bigger government in Washington is better government in the states.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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When you are in any contest, you should work as if there were- to the very last minute- a chance to lose it. This is battle, This is politics, This is anything.
-- Dwight D Eisenhower
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Lawyers feel that every criminal has a right to a lawyer.
-- J Elders
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In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge
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... for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.
-- George Eliot
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Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.
-- George Eliot
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Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.
-- George Eliot
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Can any man or woman choose duties? No more than they can choose their birthplace, or their father or mother.
-- George Eliot
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Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.
-- George Eliot
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I'm proof against that word failure. I've seen behind it. The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to the purpose he sees to be best.
-- George Eliot
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It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them.
-- George Eliot
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Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right; decide on what you think is right and stick to it.
-- George Eliot
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Our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds.
-- George Eliot
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Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking.
-- George Eliot
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The best augury of a mans success in his profession is that he thinks it the finest in the world.
-- George Eliot
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The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice.
-- George Eliot
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There is no feeling, except the extremes of fear and grief, that does not find relief in music.
-- George Eliot
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What do we live for if it is not to make life less difficult for each other.
-- George Eliot
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What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
-- George Eliot
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April is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory out of desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain. Winter kept us warm, covering Earth in a forgetful snow, feeding A little life with dried tubers.
-- T S Eliot
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Birth, copulation and death. That's all the facts when you come to brass tacks; Birth, copulation and death.
-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
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Friendship should be more than biting time can sever.
-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
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Hell is oneself, hell is alone, the other figures in it, merely projections.
-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
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I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
-- T S Eliot
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I take as metaphysical poetry that in which what is ordinarily apprehensible only by thought is brought within the grasp of feeling, or that in which what is ordinarily only felt is transformed into thought without ceasing to be feeling.
-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
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In my end is my beginning.
-- T S Eliot
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In the room the women come and go Talking of Michelangelo.
-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T S Eliot
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The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.
-- T S Eliot
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Think not forever of yourselves, O Chiefs, nor of your own generation. Think of continuing generations of our a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.
-- T S Eliot
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This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper.
-- T S Eliot
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We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
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What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.
-- T S Eliot
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Words strain, crack, and sometime break, under the burden.
-- T S Eliot
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It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
-- Professor Scott Elledge, on his retirement from Cornell
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A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington
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Vacillating people seldom succeed. They seldom win the solid respect of their fellow men. Successful men and women are very careful in reaching decisions and very persistent and determined in action thereafter.
-- L G Elliott
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Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
-- Walter Elliott
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The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence.
-- Albert Ellis
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Fourth Law of Thermodynamics: If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
-- David Ellis
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The omnipresent process of sex, as it is woven into the whole texture of our man's or woman's body, is the pattern of all the process of our life.
-- Havelock Ellis
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The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.
-- Havelock Ellis
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The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago, had they happened to be within reach of predatory human hands.
-- Havelock Ellis
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What we call "morals" is simply blind obedience to words of command.
-- Havelock Ellis
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The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison
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When belief in a god dies, the god dies.
-- Harlan Ellison
%%
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A good intention but fixed and resolute - bent on high and holy ends, we shall find means to them on every side and at every moment; and even obstacles and opposition will but make us "like the fabled spectre-ships," which sail the fastest in the very teeth of the wind.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A man makes inferiors his superiors by heat; self-control is the rule.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
A man of genius is privileged only as far as he is genius. His dullness is as insupportable as any other dullness.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
A man's library is a sort of harem.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been effeminated by position or nature, born halt and blind, through luxury of their parents, and can only, like invalids, act on the defensive.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
All mankind love a lover.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
All our progress is an unfolding, like a vegetable bud. You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. Trust the instinct to the end. though you can render no reason.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Art is a jealous mistress, and if a man has a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. Then all things are at risk. It is as when a conflagration has broken out in a great city, and no man knows what is safe, or where it will end.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
By the rude bridge that arched the flood, Their flag to April's breeze unfurled, Here once the embattled farmers stood, And fired the shot heard round the world.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants, and to serve them one's self?
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Children are all foreigners.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Commit a crime and the earth is made of glass.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Common sense is genius dressed in working clothes.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Condense some daily experience into a glowing symbol, and an audience is electrified.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for competitors.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Do what you know and perception is converted into character.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Every great and commanding movement in the annals of the world is the triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Every hero becomes a bore at last.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Far or forgot to me is near; Shadow and sunlight are the same; The vanished gods to me appear; And one to me are shame and fame. They reckon ill who leave me out; When me they fly, I am the wings; I am the doubter and the doubt, And I the hymn the Brahmin sings.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Finish each day before you begin the next, and interpose a solid wall of sleep between the two. This you cannot do without temperance.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Foolish legislation is a rope of sand, which perishes in the twisting.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please; you can never have both.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force, that thoughts rule the world.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Happiness is a perfume which you cannot pour on someone without getting some on yourself.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
He is great who confers the most benefits.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
He who has a thousand friends Has not a friend to spare, While he who has one enemy Shall meet him everywhere.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Hitch your wagon to a star.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I am not afraid of falling into my inkpot.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I like the silent church before the service begins, batter than any preaching.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
I look on that man as happy, who, when there is question of success, looks into his work for a reply.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
If a man knows the law, find out, though he live in a pine shanty, and resort to him. And if a man can pipe or sing, so as to wrap the imprisoned soul in an Elysium; or can paint a landscape, and convey into souls and ochres all the enchantments of Spring or Autumn; or can liberate and intoxicate all people who hear him with delicious songs and verses; it is certain that the secret cannot be kept; the first witness tells it to a second, and men go by fives and tens and fifties to his doors.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting that you shall learn what you have no taste or capacity for. The college, which should be a place of delightful labour, is made odious and unhealthy, and the young men are tempted to frivolous amusements to rally their jaded spirits. I would have the studies elective. Scholarship is to be created not by compulsion, but by awakening a pure interest in knowledge. The wise instructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely the attractions the study has for himself. The marking is a system for schools, not for the college; for boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to put on a professor.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Intellect annuls fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?
-- Ralph Emerson
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It is not length of life, but depth of life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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It is very easy in the world to live by the opinion of the world. It is very easy in solitude to be self-centred. But the finished man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. I knew a man of simple habits and earnest character who never put out his hands nor opened his lips to court the public, and having survived several rotten reputations of younger men, honour came at last and sat down with him upon his private bench from which he had never stirred.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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It makes a great difference in the force of a sentence, whether a man be behind it or no.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the gods.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Life is eating us up. We all shall be fables presently. Keep cool: it will be all one a hundred years hence.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Man is a piece of the universe made alive.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Man was born to be rich, or grow rich by use of his faculties, by the union of thought with nature. Property is an intellectual production. The game requires coolness, right reasoning, promptness, and patience in the players. Cultivated labour drives out brute labour.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Men are conservatives when they are least vigorous, or when they are most luxurious. They are conservatives after dinner.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Men are what their mothers made them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Money, which represents the prose of life, and which is hardly spoken of in parlours without an apology, is, in its effects and laws, as beautiful as roses.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nature hates calculators.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nature is a mutable cloud, which is always and never the same.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nature is full of freaks, and now puts an old head on young shoulders, and then takes a young heart heating under fourscore winters.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Never read any book that is not a year old.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Nothing is rich but the inexhaustible wealth of nature. She shows us only surfaces, but she is a million fathoms deep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Often a certain abdication of prudence and foresight is an element of success.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Our knowledge is the amassed thought and experience of innumerable minds.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
People wish to be settled. It is only as far as they are unsettled that there is any hope for them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Proverbs are the literature of reason, or the statements of absolute truth, without qualification. Like the sacred books of each nation, they are the sanctuary of its intuitions.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Reading for Ceremony: Give all to Love; Obey thy heart; Friends, kindred, days, Estate, good-fame, Plans, credit and the Muse, Nothing refuse. 'Tis a brave master; Let it have scope: Follow it utterly, Hope beyond hope: High and more high It dives into noon, With wing unspent, Untold intent; But it is a god, Knows its own path And the outlets of the sky. It was never for the mean; It requireth courage stout. Souls above doubt, Valour unbending. It will reward, They shall return More than they were, And ever ascending...
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Science does not know its debt to imagination. Goethe did not believe that a great naturalist could exist without this faculty.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Self-trust is the essence of heroism.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Solitude, the safeguard of mediocrity.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Sooner of later that which is now life shall be poetry, and every fair and manly trait shall add a richer strain to the song.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Speak what you think to-day in words as hard as cannon-balls and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Stay at home in your mind. Don't recite other people's opinions. I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Strong men greet war, tempest, hard times. They wish, as Pindar said, to tread the floors of hell, with necessities as hard as iron.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Take egotism out and you would castrate the benefactors.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Tell them dear, that if eyes were made for seeing, Then beauty is its own excuse for being: Why thou wert there, O rival of the rose! I never sought to ask, I never knew: But, in my simple ignorance suppose The selfsame power that brought me there brought you.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The adventitious beauty of poetry may be felt in the greater delight with a verse given in a happy quotation than in the poem.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The ancestor of every action is a thought.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The best effect of fine persons is felt after we have left their presence.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The essence of all jokes, of all comedy, seems to be an honest or well intended halfness; a non performance of that which is pretended to be performed, at the same time that one is giving loud pledges of performance. The balking of the intellect, is comedy and it announces itself in the pleasant spasms we call laughter.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The faith that stand on authority is not faith.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The god of the cannibals will be a cannibal, of the crusaders a crusader, and of the merchants a merchant.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The greatest homage we can pay truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The imbecility of men is always inviting the impudence of power.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The key to every man is his thought. Sturdy and defying though he look, he has a helm which he obeys, which is the idea after which all his facts are classified. He can only be reformed by showing him a new idea which commands his own.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The life of man is the true romance, which when it is valiantly conducted, will yield the imagination a higher joy than any fiction.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The measure of a master is his success in bringing all men around to his opinion twenty years later.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed, there is no winter and no night; all tragedies, all ennuis, vanish, - all duties even.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The next thing to saying a good thing yourself, is to quote one.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The peril of every fine faculty is the delight of playing with it for pride. Talent is commonly developed at the expense of character, and the greater it grows, the more is the mischief. Talent is mistaken for genius, a dogma or system for truth, ambition for greatest, ingenuity for poetry, sensuality for art.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The power of love, as the basis of a State, has never been tried.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The religion that is afraid of science dishonours God and commits suicide.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The reward for a thing well done is to have done it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The soul of God is poured into the world through the thoughts of men.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
The sufferers parade their miseries, tear lint from their bruises, reveal their indictable crimes, that you may pity them. They like sickness, because physical pain will extort some show of interest from bystanders, as we have seen children, who, finding themselves of no account when grown people come in, will cough till they choke, to draw attention.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The years teach much which the days never knew.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
There are two classes of poets - the poets by education and practice, these we respect; and poets by nature, these we love.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
There is always room for a man of force, and he makes room for many.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
There is no thought in any mind, but it quickly tends to convert itself into a power.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
There is nothing capricious in nature and the implanting of a desire indicates that its gratification is in the constitution of the creature that feel it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
This time, like all time, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Those who cannot tell what they desire or expect, still sigh and struggle with indefinite thoughts and vast wishes.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To be great is to be misunderstood.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men-that is genius.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To fill the hour-that is happiness.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To share often and much; to leave the world a little better; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. That is to have succeeded.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To the dull mind all nature is leaden. To the Illuminated mind the whole world burns and sparkle with lights.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
To the poet, to the philosopher, to the saint, all things are friendly and sacred, all events profitable, all days holy, all men divine.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Trust your instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Truth is the summit of being; justice is the application of it to affairs.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Universities are of course hostile to geniuses, which, seeing and using ways of their own, discredit the routine: as churches and monasteries persecute youthful saints.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We aim above the mark to hit the mark.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We are always getting ready to live but never living.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We are born believing. A man bears beliefs, as a tree bears apples.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We are prisoners of ideas.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyfull of words and do not know a thing.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We are students of words; we are shut up in schools, and colleges, and recitation rooms, for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bag of wind, a memory of words, and do not know a thing.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We are wiser than we know.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We boil at different degrees.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
What a searching preacher of self-command is the varying phenomenon of health.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Who so would be a man, must be a nonconformist.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Without a rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Work is victory.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he know that every day is Doomsday.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
You must pay for conformity. All goes well as long as you run with conformists. But you, who are honest men in other particulars, know that there is alive somewhere a man whose honesty reaches to this point also, that he shall not kneel to false gods, and, on the day when you meet him, you sink into the class of counterfeits.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
%%
God is a circle whose centre is everywhere and its circumference nowhere.
-- Empedocles
%%
Love unites, hate divides.
-- Empedocles
%%
Everything must justify its existence before the judgment seat of Reason, or give up existence.
-- Friedrich Engels
%%
Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds.
-- Thomas Dunn English
%%
Quem metuunt, oderunt (They hate whom they fear).
-- Quintus Ennius
%%
Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.
-- Cincinnati Enquirer
%%
Government action and inaction both gravely impair business confidence.
-- Mark Epernay
%%
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.
-- Nora Ephron
%%
Common and vulgar people ascribe all ills that they feel to others; people of little wisdom ascribe to themselves; people of much wisdom, to no one.
-- Epictetus
%%
Everything has two handles; the one soft and manageable, the other such as will not endure to be touched. If then your brother do you an injury, do not take it by the hot hard handle, by representing to yourself all the aggravating circumstances of the fact; but look rather on the soft side, and extenuate it as much as is possible, by considering the nearness of the relation, and the long friendship and familiarity between you obligations to kindness which a single provocation ought not to dissolve. And thus you will take the accident by the manageable handle.
-- Epictetus
%%
First say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do.
-- Epictetus
%%
First, learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
-- Epictetus
%%
Only the educated are free.
-- Epictetus
%%
To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.
-- Epictetus
%%
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
-- Epictetus
%%
A free life cannot acquire many possessions, because this is not easy to do without servility to mobs or monarchs...
-- Epicurus
%%
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus
%%
Death is not an evil.
-- Epicurus
%%
It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls.
-- Epicurus
%%
The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it.
-- Epicurus
%%
The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool.
-- Epicurus
%%
There is no such thing as justice in the abstract; it is merely a compact between men.
-- Epicurus
%%
Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself.
-- Desiderius Erasmus
%%
In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. [In regione caecorum rex est luscus.]
-- Desiderius Erasmus
%%
Love that has nothing but beauty to keep it in good health is short lived, and apt to have ague fits.
-- Erasmus
%%
Scitum est inter caecos luscum regnare posse. (It is well known, that among the blind the one eyed man is king.)
-- Desiderius Erasmus
%%
The most disadvantageous peace is better than the most just war.
-- Erasmus
%%
War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
-- Desiderius Erasmus
%%
The entire essence of America is the hope to first make money ... then make money with money ... then make lots of money with lots of money.
-- Paul Erdman
%%
Love won't be tampered with, love won't go away. Push it to one side and it creeps to the other.
-- Louise Erdrich
%%
This is it. There are no hidden meanings. All that mystical stuff is just what's so.
-- Werner Erhard
%%
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Erlich
%%
In simplest terms, a leader is one who knows where he wants to go, and gets up, and goes.
-- John Erskine
%%
There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.
-- John Erskine
%%
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
%%
The President seems to extend executive privilege way out past the atmosphere. What he says is executive privilege is nothing but executive poppycock.
-- Sam Ervin
%%
Statistics show that most of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
-- Wallace Erwin
%%
A signature always reveals a man's character and sometimes even his name.
-- Evan Esar
%%
After wisdom comes wit.
-- Evan Esar
%%
It is the uncensored sense of humour ... which is the ultimate therapy for man in society.
-- Evan Esar
%%
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonderful.
-- M C Escher
%%
Only those who attempt the absurd... will achieve the impossible. I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.
-- Escher
%%
A terrible anger, hard to cure, exists when those who have loved each other clash in strife.
-- Euripides
%%
All is change; all yields its place and goes.
-- Euripides
%%
Chance fights ever on the side of the prudent.
-- Euripides
%%
Dishonour will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides
%%
Human misery must somewhere have a stop: there is no wind that always blows a storm.
-- Euripides
%%
I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides
%%
Ignorance of one's misfortunes is clear gain.
-- Euripides
%%
In misfortune, what friend remains a friend?
-- Euripides
%%
Love must not touch the marrow of the soul. Our affections must be breakable chains that we can cast them off or tighten them.
-- Euripides
%%
Of mortals there is no one who is happy. If wealth flows in upon one, one may be perhaps Luckier than one's neighbour, but still not happy.
-- Euripides
%%
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends.
-- Euripides
%%
Slight not what's near, when aiming at what's far.
-- Euripides
%%
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
-- Euripides
%%
There is no evil as terrible as a woman.
-- Euripides
%%
Wisdom is meaningless until our own experience has given it meaning ... and there is wisdom in the selection of wisdom.
-- Bergen Evans
%%
I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans
%%
The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth.
-- Harold Evans
%%
The Internet is like a giant jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go around it. You've got to get through it.
-- John Evans
%%
You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Professor Len Evans
%%
Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
-- Richard L Evans
%%
Support organizations can always prove success by showing service to someone ... not necessarily you.
-- Douglas Evelyn
%%
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
-- Dame Edna Everage
%%
You can kill a man but you can't kill an idea.
-- Medgar Evers
%%
You've got to take the initiative and play your game. In a decisive set, confidence is the difference.
-- Chris Evert
%%
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
-- Sam Ewing
%%
Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
-- Sam Ewing
%%
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
How could drops of water know themselves to be a river? Yet the river flows on.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
I know of but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
The field of consciousness is tiny. It accepts only one problem at a time. Get into a fist fight, put your mind on the strategy of the fight, and you will not feel the other fellow's punches.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
You know you've achieved perfection in design, Not when you have nothing more to add, But when you have nothing more to take away.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%%
The buried talent is the sunken rock on which most lives strike and founder.
-- Frederick W Faber
%%
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman
%%
When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.
-- Clifton Fadiman
%%
Head out toward Lake Nostalgia.... take Route 5 to Laughing Pines.... get off at Funway West... and drive into Springtime.
-- Donald Fagen
%%
Without sheep, there's no sex for nice guys.
-- Quentin Fai
%%
The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain; to show them we love them not when we feel like it, but when they do.
-- Nan Fairbrother
%%
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
-- Dennis Fakes
%%
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
-- Lucius Cary Viscount Falkland
%%
Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America.
-- Jerry Falwell
%%
For violence, like Achilles' lance, can heal the wounds it has inflicted.
-- Frantz Fanos
%%
The lecturer should give the audience full reason to believe that all his powers have been exerted for their pleasure and instruction.
-- Michael Faraday
%%
Seers and soothsayers read crystal balls to find the future. Less lucky men read junk with more success.
-- Richard N Farmer
%%
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
-- Farnsdick's corollary
%%
Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!
-- David G Farragut
%%
There's one good kind of writer ... a dead one.
-- James T Farrell
%%
As experience widens, one begins to see how much upon a level all human things are.
-- Joseph Farrell
%%
Intellectual brilliance is no guaranty against being dead wrong.
-- David Fasold
%%
Surfing on the Internet is like sex; everyone boasts about doing more than they actually do. But in the case of the Internet, it's a lot more.
-- Tom Fasulo
%%
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
-- William Faulkner
%%
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.
-- William Faulkner
%%
The scattered tea goes with the leaves and every day a sunset dies.
-- William Faulkner
%%
Tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterday's omissions and regrets.
-- William Faulkner
%%
I am not addicted to nicotine. Why must I participate in your drug addiction?
-- Ken Faver
%%
I'm not addicted to nicotine, so why do I have to participate in your drug addiction?
-- Ken Faver
%%
A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations.
-- William Feather
%%
If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the land with sticks and transporting goods on our backs.
-- William Feather
%%
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.
-- William Feather
%%
Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I am in special need of help, the good deed is usually done by somebody on whom I have no claim.
-- William Feather
%%
Success makes us intolerant of failure, and failure makes us intolerant of success.
-- William Feather
%%
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
-- William Feather
%%
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
-- James Feibleman
%%
Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns.
-- Charles Feidelson, Jr
%%
Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame-thrower.
-- Bruce Feirstein
%%
The more you say, the less people remember. The fewer the words, the greater the profit.
-- Felelon
%%
Laughter should dimple the cheek, not furrow the brow. A jest should be such, that all shall be able to join in the laugh which it occasions; but if it bear hard upon one of the company, like the crack of a string, it makes a stop in the music.
-- Feltham
%%
Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self.
-- Millicent Fenwick
%%
I am the emperor, and I want dumplings.
-- Ferdinand, I
%%
The Marriage Of Figaro is far too noisy, my dear Mozart. Far too many notes.
-- The Emporer Ferdinand
%%
A time of disarray is also a moment of opportunity.
-- Frederick Ferre
%%
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
-- President of United Airlines Richard J Ferris
%%
Wherever a set of alternative possible routes toward achieving a given end presents itself, a student movement will tend to choose the one which involves a higher measure of violence or humiliation directed against the older generation.
-- Lewis S Feuer
%%
Do not keep saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, `But how can it be like that?' because you will get `down the drain,' into a blind alley from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that.
-- Richard Feynman
%%
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
-- Richard P Feynman
%%
Nature uses only the longest threads to weave her patterns, so that each small piece of her fabric reveals the organization of the entire tapestry.
-- Richard Feynman
%%
The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things...
-- Richard Feynman
%%
We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had the wrong idea at first, and so on. So there isn't any place to publish, in a dignified manner, what you actually did in order to get to do the work.
-- Richard Feynman
%%
Forecasters tend to learn less and less about more and more, until in the end they know nothing about everything.
-- Edgar R Fiedler
%%
Forecasting is very difficult, especially if it's about the future.
-- Edgar R Fiedler
%%
Conscience the only incorruptible thing about us.
-- Henry Fielding
%%
Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity then they really are.
-- Henry Fielding
%%
Wine is a turncoat; first a friend, and then an enemy.
-- Fielding
%%
Children? Love children! Girl children, nineteen, twenty years old.
-- W C Fields
%%
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
-- W C Fields
%%
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
-- W C Fields
%%
I'm looking for loopholes.
-- W C Fields, when caught reading the Bible
%%
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about things.
-- W C Fields
%%
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
-- W C Fields
%%
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
-- W C Fields
%%
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
-- Harvey Fierstein
%%
The nourishment is palatable.
-- Last words of Millard Fillmore
%%
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
-- Finagle's First Law
%%
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
-- Finagle's Third Law
%%
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
-- Finagle's Fourth Law
%%
The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato chip market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantihose.
-- President of CBM James Finke, 1982
%%
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
-- Firestone's Law of Forecasting
%%
You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself.
-- Harry Firestone
%%
All men love peace in their armchairs after dinner; but they disbelieve the other nations's professions, rightly measuring its sincerity by their own.
-- Oscar W Firkins
%%
Humour is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders.
-- Oscar W Firkins
%%
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.
-- Joseph Fischer
%%
I know I'm going to get old and be one of those crazy women who sits on balconies and spits on people and screams, 'Get a haircut!' I know this, and I don't really fear it. I'd just like to move toward it with as much grace and dignity as possible.
-- Carrie Fisher
%%
When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target.
-- George Fisher
%%
I come like Water, and like Wind I go.
-- Edward Fitzgerald
%%
... and thus we beat on, boats against the current... born back ceaselessly into the past.....
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
... she felt that she had learned something, though exactly what it was, she did not know. Later she remembered all the hours of the afternoon as happy, one of those uneventful times that seem at the moment only a link between past and future pleasure, but turn out to have been the pleasure itself.
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
... she knew at last the number on the dreadful door of fantasy, the threshold to the escape that was no escape; she knew that for her the greatest sin now and in the future was to delude herself. It had been a long lesson, but she had learned it. Either you think, or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and sterilize you.
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
A universe of ineffable gaudiness spun itself out in his brain while the clock ticked on the washstand and the moon soaked with wet light his tangled clothes upon the floor. Each night he added to the pattern of his fancies until drowsiness closed down upon some vivid scene with an oblivious embrace. For a while these reveries provided an outlet for his imagination; they were a satisfactory hint of the unreality of reality, a promise that the rock of the world was founded securely on a fairy's wing.
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
For a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.
-- F Scott Fitzgerald
%%
It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.
-- F Scott Fitzgerald
%%
My politeness is a trick of the heart.
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F Scott Fitzgerald
%%
Women are necessarily capable of almost anything in their struggle for survival and can scarcely be convicted of some man-made crimes as 'cruelty.'
-- Francis Scott Fitzgerald
%%
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
-- Edward Flaherty
%%
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty
%%
I was at Bible camp, learning how to be more judgmental.
-- Mrs Flanders
%%
If God had intended us to fly, he would never have given us railways.
-- Michael Flanders
%%
Success, as I see it, is a result, not a goal.
-- Gustave Flaubert
%%
He never is alone that is accompanied with noble thoughts.
-- Fletcher
%%
Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.
-- Jean Pierre Claris De Florian
%%
You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.
-- Doug Floyd
%%
It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.
-- Errol Flynn
%%
To be a revolutionary you have to be a human being. You have to care about people who have no power.
-- Jane Fonda
%%
Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine
%%
Help yourself, and Heaven will help you.
-- Fontaine
%%
Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.
-- La Fontaine
%%
A great obstacle to happiness is to anticipate too great a happiness.
-- Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle
%%
It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible.
-- George W Foote
%%
Golf without bunkers and hazards would be lame and monotonous. So would life.
-- B C Forbes
%%
Real riches are the riches possessed inside.
-- B C Forbes
%%
Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.
-- Malcolm Forbes
%%
To measure the man, measure his heart.
-- Malcolm S Forbes
%%
A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take from you everything you have.
-- Gerald Rudolph Ford
%%
If they try to rush me, I always say, I've only got one other speed and it's slower.
-- Glenn Ford
%%
Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.
-- Henry Ford
%%
History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford
%%
I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Henry Ford
%%
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford
%%
It is all one to me if a man comes from Sing Sing or Harvard. We hire a man, not his history.
-- Henry Ford
%%
Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward.
-- Henry Ford
%%
None of our men are "experts." We have most unfortunately found it necessary to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert because no one ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
-- Henry Ford, Sr
%%
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
-- Henry Ford
%%
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford
%%
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford
%%
The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford
%%
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford
%%
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford
%%
I am? a mushroom, On whom the dew of heaven drops now and then.
-- John Ford
%%
Language is a wonderful thing. It can be used to express thoughts, to conceal thoughts, but more often, to replace thinking.
-- Kelly Fordyce
%%
I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
-- E M Forster
%%
I suggest that the only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a little farther down our particular path than we have yet gone ourselves.
-- E M Forster
%%
So, Two cheers for Democracy: one because it admits variety and two because it permits criticism.
-- E M Forster
%%
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
-- E M Forster
%%
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-- E M Forster
%%
Works of art, in my opinion, are the only objects in the material universe to possess internal order, and that is why, though I don't believe that only art matters, I do believe in Art for Art's sake.
-- E M Forster
%%
The story of man is the history, first, of the acceptance and imposition of restraints necessary to permit communal life; and second, of the emancipation of the individual within that system of necessary restraints.
-- Justice Abe Fortas
%%
There are three schools of magic. One: State a tautology, then ring the changes on its corollaries; that's philosophy. Two: Record many facts. Try to find a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that's science. Three: Be aware that you live.
-- Fortune
%%
I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
-- Harry Emerson Fosdick
%%
News is history shot on the wing. The huntsmen from the Fourth Estate seek to bag only the peacock or the eagle of the swifting day.
-- Gene Fowler
%%
Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
-- Gene Fowler
%%
The forest is magnificent, yet it contains no perfect trees.
-- Gye Fram
%%
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
-- Anatole France
%%
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
-- Anatole France
%%
An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't.
-- Anatole France
%%
Innocence most often is a good fortune and not a virtue.
-- Anatole France
%%
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
-- Anatole France
%%
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
-- Anatole France
%%
The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France
%%
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
-- Anatole France
%%
To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France
%%
To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.
-- Anatole France
%%
We do not know what to do with this short life, yet we yearn for another that will be eternal.
-- Anatole France
%%
When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France
%%
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-- Brendan Francis
%%
No man can discover his own talents.
-- Brendan Francis
%%
What a man enjoy's most about a woman's clothes are his fantasies of how she would look without them.
-- Brendan Francis
%%
AIDS didn't kill these people. Politics did.
-- Dr Don Francis
%%
A court is a place where what was confused before becomes more unsettled than ever.
-- Henry Waldorf Francis
%%
I am responsible only to God and history.
-- Francisco Franco
%%
We have not tried to suppress true, legitimate liberty; on the contrary, we have tried to preserve it. We are for liberty, but liberty with order, the kind of liberty which will not threaten the basic principles of our nation, nor threaten its faith and unity.
-- Francisco Franco
%%
Whatever happens in government could have happened differently and it usually would have been better if it had.
-- Prof. Charles Frankel
%%
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken
%%
Choice has always been a privilege of those who could afford to pay for it.
-- Ellen Frankfort
%%
The ultimate touchstone of constitutionality is the Constitution itself and not what we have said about it.
-- Felix Frankfurter
%%
The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes.
-- Victor Frankl
%%
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way.
-- Victor Frankl
%%
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
A good conscience is a continued Christmas.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
A little neglect may breed great mischief.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Diligence is the mother of good luck.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that's the stuff life is made of.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Early morning hath gold in its mouth.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Energy and persistence conquer all thing.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Experience is a dear teacher, and only fools will learn from no other.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Five thousand balloons, capable of raising two men each, could not cost more than five ships of the line; and where is the prince who can afford so to cover his country with troops for its defence as that 10,000 men descending from the clouds might not in many places do an infinite deal of mischief before a force could be brought together to repel them?
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
For the want of a nail, the shoe was lose; for the want of a shoe the horse was lose; and for the want of a horse the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Games lubricate the body and the mind.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
He that blows the coals in quarrels that he has nothing to do with, has no right to complain if the sparks fly in his face.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
He that has done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
He that raises a large family does, indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
He who multiplies riches multiplies cares.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
I AM lord of myself, accountable to none.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
I think vital religion has always suffered when orthodoxy is more regarded than virtue. The scriptures assure me that at the last day we shall not be examined on what we thought but what we did.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
I wish it (Christianity) were more productive of good works ... I mean real good works ... not holy-day keeping, sermon-hearing ... or making long prayers, filled with flatteries and compliments despised by wise men, and much less capable of pleasing the Deity.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution. The primitive Christians thought persecution extremely wrong in the Pagans, but practised it on one another. The first Protestants of the Church of England blamed persecution in the Roman Catholic Church, but practised it upon the Puritans. They found it wrong in Bishops, but fell into the practice themselves both here (England) and in New England.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one. If it satisfies one want, it doubles and trebles that want another way. That was a true proverb of the wise man, rely upon it; "Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure, and trouble therewith."
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Never confuse motion with action.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Plough deep while sluggards sleep.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Read much, but not many books.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry, all things easy. He that rises late must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night, while laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
The body of Benjamin Franklin, Printer (like the cover of an old book, its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding), lies here, food for worms; but the work shall not be lost, for it will (as he believed) appear once more in a new and more elegant edition, revised and corrected by the Author.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
-- Ben Franklin
%%
The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
The sleeping fox catches no poultry.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
They that will not be counselled, cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you on the knuckles.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Think of these things, whence you came, where you are going, and to whom you must account.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Those who will give up essential liberty to secure a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Time is money.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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To be thrown upon one's own resources, is to be cast into the very lap of fortune; for our faculties then undergo a development and display an energy of which they were previously insusceptible.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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To lengthen thy Life, lessen thy meals.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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We are more heavily taxed by our idleness, pride and folly than we are taxed by government.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Well done is better than well said.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Where sense is wanting, everything is wanting.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Whoever feels pain in hearing a good character of his neighbour, will feel a pleasure in the reverse. And those who despair to rise in distinction by their virtues, are happy if others can be depressed to a level of themselves.
-- Benjamin Franklin
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You may delay, but time will not.
-- Benjamin Franklin
%%
This is a story I heard as a freshman at the University of Utah when Dr. Henry Eyring was still teaching chemistry there. Many years before he and Dr. Einstein were colleagues. As they walked together they noted an unusual plant growing along a garden walk. Dr. Eyring asked Dr. Einstein if he knew what the plant was. Einstein did not, and together they consulted a gardener. The gardener indicated the plant was green beans and forever afterwards Eyring said Einstein didn't know beans . I heard this second hand and I don't know if the story has ever been published...
-- S K Franz
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When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
-- John Frazee
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If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers.
-- Frederick, the Great
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Religion is the idol of the mob; it adores everything it does not understand.
-- Frederick, the Great
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Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire
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If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French
%%
Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
-- Anna Freud
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A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them: they are legitimately what directs his conduct in the world.
-- Sigmund Freud
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At bottom God is nothing more than an exalted father.
-- Sigmund Freud
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Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.
-- Sigmund Freud
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Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud
%%
Religion is comparable to a childhood neurosis.
-- Sigmund Freud
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Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-- Sigmund Freud
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To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.
-- Sigmund Freud
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What we call happiness in the strictest sense comes from the (preferably sudden) satisfaction of needs which have been dammed up to a high degree.
-- Sigmund Freud
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When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.
-- Sigmund Freud
%%
A Code of honour: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonourable behaviour. Unless she's really_ attractive.
-- Bruce Friedman
%%
Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coaching staff, the same rule applies. Tell her: "Kath, you just go right ahead and do what you feel is right." Unless you actually care for her, in which case you must see to it that she has no male contact whatsoever.
-- Bruce Jay Friedman
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Governments never learn. Only people learn.
-- Milton Friedman
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Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman
%%
If a government were put in charge of the Sahara Desert, within five years, they'd have a shortage of sand.
-- Milton Friedman
%%
Inflation is the one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.
-- Milton Friedman
%%
Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.
-- Milton Friedman
%%
The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
-- Milton Friedman
%%
The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap and they know it.
-- Fred Friendly
%%
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch
%%
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."
-- Erich Fromm
%%
In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one's own self.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
That man can destroy life is just as miraculous a feat as that he can create it, for life is the miracle, the inexplicable. In the act of destruction, man sets himself above life; he transcends himself as a creature. Thus, the ultimate choice for a man, inasmuch as he is driven to transcend himself, is to create or to destroy, to love or to hate.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots. True enough, robots do not rebel. But given man's nature, robots cannot live and remain sane.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started out with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet which fails so regularly, as love.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
-- Erich Fromm
%%
There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
-- Fron
%%
Inventions reached their limit long ago, and I see no hope for further development.
-- Julius Frontinus
%%
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost
%%
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost
%%
And nothing to look backward to with pride, And nothing to look forward to with hope.
-- Robert Frost
%%
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Don't be an agnostic. Be something.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
-- Frost
%%
Freedom lies in being bold.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Great events yield all but imperceptible effects.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
-- Robert Frost
%%
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
-- David Frost
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Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost
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I am not a teacher but an awakener.
-- Robert Frost
%%
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-- Robert Frost
%%
It takes all sorts of in & out-door schooling to get adapted to my kind of fooling.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favour.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Poetry is what gets lost in translation.
-- Robert Frost
%%
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost
%%
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.
-- Robert Frost
%%
The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep.
-- Robert Frost
%%
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost
%%
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveller, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.
-- Robert Frost
%%
What is required is sight and insight ... then you might add one more: excite.
-- Robert Frost
%%
You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost
%%
A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
-- Froud's Law
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Fear is the parent of cruelty.
-- James Anthony Froude
%%
Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.
-- James Anthony Froude
%%
Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim
%%
We compound our suffering by victimizing each other.
-- Athol Fugard
%%
In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste, but in its effects.
-- J W Fulbright
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Purchase not friends with gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love.
-- Fuller
%%
Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.
-- Margaret Fuller
%%
Only the dreamer shall understand realities, though in truth his dreaming must be not out of proportion to his waking.
-- Margaret Fuller
%%
It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts.
-- Millard Fuller
%%
Every child is born a genius.
-- R Buckminster Fuller
%%
Fullers Law of Cosmic Irreversibility: 1 Pot T == 1 Pot P, 1 Pot P != 1 Pot T.
-- R Buckminster Fuller
%%
God, to me, it seems, is a verb not a noun, proper or improper.
-- R Buckminster Fuller
%%
Real wealth can only increase.
-- R Buckminster Fuller
%%
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
-- Richard Buckminster Fuller
%%
When I am working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Richard Buckminster Fuller
%%
'Tis skill not strength that governs a ship.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Abused patience turns to fury.
-- Thomas Fuller
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All commend patience, but none can endure to suffer.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Better break your word than do worse in keeping it.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
If it were not for hopes, the heart would break.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
One cloud is enough, to eclipse all the sun.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
One that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Seeing's believing, but feeling's the truth.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
The scalded cat fears even cold water.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
There is a scarcity of friendship, but not of friends.
-- Thomas Fuller
%%
Americans are the only people in the world known to me whose status anxiety prompts them to advertise their college and university affiliations in the rear window of their automobiles.
-- Paul Fussell
%%
The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy. The glad man is he who does not lose his child's heart.
-- Kung Futse
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There are fairies at the bottom of our garden.
-- Rose Fyleman
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A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
%%
Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
%%
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
%%
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
%%
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
%%
If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi
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Anyone who says he is not going to resign, four times, definitely will.
-- Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom
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Getting on the cover of TIME guarantees the existence of opposition in the future.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
Liberalism is, I think, resurgent. One reason is that more and more people are so painfully aware of the alternative.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
One does not have to keep bad governments in to keep Communists out.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.
-- J K Galbraith
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The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
%%
Where humour is concerned there are no standards no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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I'll moider da bum.
-- Boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare
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And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will? When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others? When people devoid of whatsoever competence are made judges over experts and are granted authority to treat them as they please? These are the novelties which are apt to bring about the ruin of commonwealths and the subversion of the state.
-- Galileo Galilei
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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-- Galileo Galilei
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You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.
-- Galileo Galilei
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The doctrine that the earth is neither the centre of the universe nor immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation, is absurd, and both philosophically and theologically false, and at the least an error of faith.
-- Roman Congregation decision against Galileo Galilei
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A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked.
-- John Gall
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Image creates desire. You will what you imagine.
-- J G Gallimore
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize it.
-- Gallois
%%
What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?
-- Tom Galloway
%%
I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup
%%
Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy
%%
If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.
-- John Galsworthy
%%
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A Gamble
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Consciously or unconsciously, every one of us does render some service or other. If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger, and will make, not only our own happiness, but that of the world at large.
-- Gandhi
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It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.
-- Gandhi
%%
Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
-- Gandhi
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We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi
%%
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi
%%
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
-- Gandhi
%%
There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.
-- Indira Gandhi
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You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi
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A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
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Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act of depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
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Coercion cannot but result in chaos in the end.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Complete independence does not mean arrogant isolation or a superior disdain for all help.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products of democracy, as they undoubtedly are today.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Democracy is an impossible thing until the power is shared by all, but let not democracy degenerate into mobocracy.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Fear has its use but cowardice has none.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Freedom is like birth. Till we are fully free, we are slaves.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Freedom received through the efforts of others, however benevolent, cannot be retained when such effort is withdrawn.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
I do not regard capital to be enemy of labour.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
I think it would be a good idea.
-- Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization
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I'd be a Christian if it weren't for the Christians.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
If I seem to take part in politics, it is only because politics encircles us today like the coil of a snake from which one cannot get out, no matter how much one tries. I wish therefore to wrestle with the snake.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Independence means voluntary restraints and discipline, voluntary acceptance of the rule of law.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
No charter of freedom will be worth looking at which does not ensure the same measure of freedom for the minorities as for the majority.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
No culture can live, if it attempts to be exclusive.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
No society can possibly be built on a denial of individual freedom
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
One who uses coercion is guilty of deliberate violence. Coercion is inhuman.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Prayer is a confession of one's own unworthiness and weakness.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
What you do is of little significance. But it is very important that you do it.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Where there is fear, there is no religion.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
Where there is love there is life.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%%
The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy: neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
-- John W Gardner
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When people are starving, life is no longer meaningless.
-- John Gardner
%%
If wrinkles must be written on our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.
-- James A Garfield
%%
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
-- Judy Garland
%%
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
-- Stanley Garn
%%
The vain beauty cares most for the conquest which employed the whole artillery of her charms.
-- Edward Garrett
%%
Humour is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
-- Romain Gary
%%
Liberalism is the supreme form of generosity; it is the right which the majority concedes to minorities and hence it is the noblest cry that has ever resounded on this planet.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset
%%
We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient characteristic of life is its coerciveness; it is always urgent, "here and now," without any possible postponement. Life is fired at us point blank.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset
%%
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
-- Bill Gates, 1981
%%
Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more 'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover.
-- Bill Gates
%%
That we can comprehend the little we know already is mindboggling in itself.
-- Tom Gates
%%
In art, all who have done something other than their predecessors have merited the epithet of revolutionary; and it is they alone who are masters.
-- Paul Gauguin
%%
How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese.
-- Charles de Gaulle
%%
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
-- Charles de Gaulle
%%
In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
-- Charles de Gaulle
%%
The church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.
-- Charles de Gaulle
%%
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
-- Charles de Gaulle
%%
What do you take me for, an idiot?
-- General Charles de Gaulle, when a journalist asked him if he was happy
%%
When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. So we were often angry at each other.
-- Charles de Gaulle
%%
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
-- Jules de Gaultier
%%
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife is dying
%%
We only part to meet again.
-- John Gay
%%
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.
-- David Geary
%%
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
-- R Geis
%%
I wouldn't mind dying ... it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
-- R Geis
%%
Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.
-- R Geis
%%
I like nonsense ... it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.
-- Theodor S Geisel
%%
Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
-- David Lloyd George
%%
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George, V
%%
For you see, each day I owe you more, Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
-- Rosemonde Gerard
%%
The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its slime behind.
-- Gerrold's Pronouncement
%%
Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?
-- J Paul Getty
%%
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
-- J Paul Getty
%%
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.
-- J Paul Getty
%%
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.
-- J Paul Getty
%%
He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio
%%
Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
-- Gibb's Law
%%
Beauty is an outward gift which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.
-- Edward Gibbon
%%
In the end more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free.
-- Edward Gibbon
%%
The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion; and the soldiers' pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity.
-- Edward Gibbon
%%
The winds and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
-- Edward Gibbon
%%
Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E Gibbons
%%
A poet is a bird of unearthly excellence, who escapes from his celestial realm arrives in this world warbling. If we do not cherish him, he spreads his wings and flies back into his homeland.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
All that spirits desire, spirits attain.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Art is a step from what is obvious and well-known toward what is arcane and concealed.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Cast aside those who liken godliness to whimsy and who try to combine their greed for wealth with their desire for a happy afterlife.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Death most resembles a prophet who is without honour in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
-- Khalil Gibran
%%
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Hallow the body as a temple to comeliness and sanctify the heart as a sacrifice to love; love recompenses the adorers.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
I existed from all eternity and, behold, I am here; and I shall exist till the end of time, for my being has no end.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
-- Kahlil Gibran
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I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
If my survival caused another to perish, then death would be sweeter and more beloved.
-- Kahlil Gibran
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If the grandfather of the grandfather of Jesus had known what was hidden within him, he would have stood humble and awe-struck before his soul.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.
-- Khalil Gibran
%%
Knowledge cultivates your seeds and does not sow in you seeds.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know its minutiae, its characteristics, its subtleties, and its very atoms.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Love has no other desire than to fulfil itself.
-- Gibran
%%
Nor shall derision prove powerful against those who listen to humanity or those who follow in the footsteps of divinity, for they shall live forever. Forever.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Pain and foolishness lead to great bliss and complete knowledge, for Eternal Wisdom created nothing under the sun in vain.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Poverty is a veil that obscures the face of greatness. An appeal is a mask covering the face of tribulations.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Rebellion without truth is like spring in a bleak, arid desert.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Safeguarding the rights of others is the most noble and beautiful end of a human being.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
The eye of a human being is a microscope, which makes the world seem bigger than it really is.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
The person you consider ignorant and insignificant is the one who came from God, that he might learn bliss from grief and knowledge from gloom.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
The tears that you spill, the sorrowful, are sweeter than the laughter of snobs and the guffaws of scoffers.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
They consider me to have sharp and penetrating vision because I see them through the mesh of a sieve.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
We were a silent, hidden thought in the folds of oblivion, and we have become a voice that causes the heavens to tremble.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
What difference is there between us, save a restless dream that follows my soul but fears to come near you?
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
What do the nationalists say about killers punishing murderers and thieves sentencing looters?
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
What is this world that is hastening me toward I know not what, viewing me with contempt?
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Where is the justice of political power if it executes the murderer and jails the plunderer, and then itself marches upon neighbouring lands, killing thousands and pillaging the very hills?
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Wisdom stands at the turn in the road and calls upon us publicly, but we consider it false and despise its adherents.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Would that I were a dry well, and that the people tossed stones into me, for that would be easier than to be a spring of flowing water that the thirsty pass by, and from which they avoid drinking.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.
-- Kahlil Gibran
%%
Cyberspace: A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation.
-- William Gibson
%%
The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
-- William Gibson
%%
Art is a collaboration between God an the artist, and the less the artist does the better.
-- Andre Gide
%%
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide
%%
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labours of peace.
-- Andre Gide
%%
The most important things to say are those which often I did not think necessary for me to say ... because they were too obvious.
-- Andre Gide
%%
Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else.
-- Andre Gide
%%
The insatiate itch of scribbling.
-- William Gifford
%%
Gilb's Laws of Reliability: 1) Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. 3) The only difference between the fool, and the criminal who attacks a system is that the fool attacks unpredictably and on a broader front. 5) Self-checking systems tend to have a complexity in proportion to the inherent unreliability of the system in which they are used. 6) The error-detection and correction capabilities of any system are the key to understanding the type of errors which they cannot handle. 7) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. 8) All real programs contain errors until proven otherwise - which is impossible. 9) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or somebody insists on getting some useful work done.
-- Tom Gilb
%%
Humour is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse.
-- William Gilbert
%%
It revolts me but I do it!
-- Sir W S Gilbert
%%
Life is a joke that's just begun.
-- Gilbert
%%
Modified rapture!
-- Sir W S Gilbert
%%
We will hang you, never fear, most politely, most politely.
-- W S Gilbert
%%
We tend to see our own experiences as the normal process, so we are often amazed that anyone could have taken a different path. But when we do meet up, it's always fascinating to compare notes about the different ways to get there.
-- Daniel Gilly
%%
Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born.
-- Gary Mark Gilmore
%%
America, how can a write a holy litany in your silly mood?
-- Allen Ginsberg
%%
Whoever controls the media... the images... controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg
%%
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.
-- Ginsberg's Theorems
%%
The great thought, the great concern, the great anxiety of men is to restrict, as much as possible, the limits of their own responsibility.
-- Giosue
%%
We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni
%%
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
-- Jean Giraudoux
%%
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
-- Jean Giraudoux
%%
There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an afternoon.
-- Giraudoux
%%
Of all that is material and all that is spiritual in this world, know for certain that I am both its origin and dissolution. There is no true superior to Me. Everything rests upon Me, as pearls are strung on a thread.
-- Bhagavad Gita
%%
The ignorant think of Me, who am the Unmanifested Spirit, as if I were really in human form. They do not understand that My Supreme Nature is changeless and most excellent. I am not invisible to all, for I am enveloped by the illusion of Phenomenon. This deluded world does not know Me as the Unborn and the Imperishable.
-- Bhagavad Gita
%%
Justice delayed is justice denied.
-- William Gladstone
%%
Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence; Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.
-- William E Gladstone
%%
We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone
%%
All change is not growth; all movement is not forward.
-- Ellen Glasgow
%%
I agree with every word you write, and I can prove this in no better way than by taking your advice from beginning to end.
-- Ellen Glasgow
%%
Violence commands both literature and life, and violence is always crude and distorted.
-- Ellen Glasgow
%%
The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.
-- Arnold H Glasow
%%
The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.
-- Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness
%%
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason
%%
I don't know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets.
-- John Glenn
%%
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
-- John Glenn
%%
Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.
-- Andy Glib
%%
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel
%%
I'm proud of paying taxes. The only thing is... I could be just as proud for half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey
%%
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre.
-- Gail Godwin
%%
I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say 'Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet?'
-- Mike Godwin
%%
The victor will always judge the defeated, and always find him guilty.
-- Hermann Goering, during the Nuremberg Trials
%%
When I hear the word culture, I reach for my pistol.
-- Reichmarshal Hermann Goering
%%
Your America is doing many things in the economic field which we found out caused us so much trouble. You are trying to control people's lives. And no country can do that part way. I tried it and failed. Nor can any country do it all the way either. I tried that, too, and it failed.
-- Herman Goering
%%
Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
All truly wise thoughts have been thoughts already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Anecdotes and maxims are rich treasures to the man of the world, for he knows how to introduce the former at fit place in conversation.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth... that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Enjoy what you can, endure what you must.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Everything in the world may be endured, except continual prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Existence is God!
-- Goethe
%%
Few people have the imagination for reality.
-- Goethe
%%
For just when ideas fail, a word comes in to save the situation.
-- Goethe
%%
He only earns his freedom and his life Who takes them every day by storm.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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He who possesses art and science has religion; he who does not possess them, needs religion.
-- Goethe
%%
He who wishes to exert a useful influence must be careful to insult nothing. Let him not be troubled by what seems absurd, but concentrate his energies to the creation of what is good. He must not demolish, but build. He must raise temples where mankind may come and partake of the purest pleasure.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
If I say to the moment: 'Stay now! You are so beautiful'!
-- Goethe
%%
If you must tell me your opinions, tell me what you believe in. I have plenty of doubts of my own.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
It is in self-limitation that a master first shows himself.
-- Goethe
%%
Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Man errs as long as he strives.
-- Goethe
%%
Man is not born to solve the problem of the universe, but to find out what he has to do; and to restrain himself within the limits of his comprehension.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Men are so constituted that everybody undertakes what he sees another successful in, whether he has aptitude for it or not.
-- Goethe
%%
Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Modern poets mix too much water with their ink.
-- Goethe
%%
More light!
-- Last words of Goethe
%%
My poor head is in such a whirl, my mind is all in bits.
-- Goethe
%%
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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On all the peaks lies peace.
-- Goethe
%%
One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude.
-- Goethe
%%
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Plunge boldly into the thick of life!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Superstition is the poetry of life.
-- Von Goethe
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The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The coward threatens when he is safe.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The first and last thing required of genius is the love of truth.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The happy do not believe in miracles.
-- Goethe
%%
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The phrases that men hear or repeat continually, end by becoming convictions and ossify the organs of intelligence.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The unnatural, that too is natural.
-- Goethe
%%
There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behaviour.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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We know accurately only when we know little; with knowledge doubt increases.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
What business is it of yours if I love you?
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%%
What have they done to you my poor child?
-- Goethe
%%
What is not fully understood is not possessed.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Whenever I hear people talking about "liberal ideas," I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfil its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff
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I have ... a terrible need ... shall I say the word? ... of religion. Then I go out at night and paint the stars.
-- Vincent van Gogh
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I often think that the night is more alive and more richly coloured than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh
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I wish they would only take me as I am.
-- Vincent Van Gogh
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It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all to prudent.
-- Vincent van Gogh
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One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh
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If you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.
-- Robert F Goheen
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Anarchism aims to strip labour of its deadening, dulling aspect, of its gloom and compulsion. It aims to make work an instrument of joy, of strength, of colour, of real harmony, so that the poorest sort of a man should find in work both recreation and hope.
-- Emma Goldman
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Anarchism... stands for direct action, the open defiance of, and resistance to, all laws and restrictions, economic, social, and moral.
-- Emma Goldman
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Conceit, arrogance, and egotism are the essentials of patriotism.
-- Emma Goldman
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No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy, the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
-- Emma Goldman
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The political arena leaves one no alternatives, one must be either a dunce or a rogue.
-- Emma Goldman
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How blest is he who crowns, in shades like these, A youth of labour with an age of ease.
-- Oliver Goldsmith
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It's a damned long, boggy, dirty, dangerous way.
-- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain; With grammar, and nonsense, and learning; Good liquor, I stoutly maintain; Gives genius a better discerning.
-- Oliver Goldsmith
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The dancing pair that simply sought renown, By holding out to tire each other down; The swain mistrust less of his smutted face, While secret laughter titter'd round the place; The bashful virgin's side-long looks of love, The matrons glance that would those looks reprove: These were thy charms, sweet village; sports like these, With sweet succession, taught e'en toil to please; These were thy bowers their cheerful influence shed, These were thy charms ... but all these charms are fled.
-- Oliver Goldsmith
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The very pink of perfection.
-- Oliver Goldsmith
%%
"... Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes just like chicken, it tastes just like chicken!" If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken??
-- Bob Goldthwait
%%
America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait
%%
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
-- Barry Goldwater
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Extremism in the defence of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.
-- Barry Morris Goldwater
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A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
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A Hospital is no place to be sick.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
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A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
-- Samuel Goldwyn's Law of Contracts
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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
Never make forecasts, especially about the future.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
When someone does something good, Applaud! You will make two people happy.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
%%
Mejor morir a pie que vivir en rodillas. (Better to die on one's feet than live on one's knees.)
-- Dolores Ibarruri Gomez
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If you don't throw it, they can't hit it.
-- Lefty Gomez
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If there is a God, Atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.
-- Goncourt
%%
Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists.... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.
-- Goncourt
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Humour is a universal language.
-- Joel Goodman
%%
Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
-- Roy Goodman
%%
It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are romantic dreamers and actually believe that oestrogenic skin cream must do something or they couldn't charge sixteen dollars for that little tiny jar.
-- Jane Goodsell
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One of the world's worst questions: Haven't you any sense of humour?
-- Jane Goodsell
%%
The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization.
-- Mikhail Gorbachev
%%
We are not abandoning our convictions, our philosophy or traditions, nor do we urge anyone to abandon theirs.
-- Mikhail Gorbachev
%%
The truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is.
-- Nadine Gordimer
%%
If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.
-- Gordon's First Law
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Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
-- Rabbi Julins Gordon
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A leopard never changes his stripes.
-- Al Gore
%%
Aeroplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore
%%
One has to be able to count if only so that at fifty one doesn't marry a girl of twenty.
-- Maxim Gorky
%%
If you have a lemon, make lemonade.
-- Howard Gossage
%%
... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand. Human intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as we can tell. If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues that now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding of their world, not in their distorted perceptions. Even the standard example of ancient nonsense the debate about angels on pinheads makes sense once you realize that theologians were not discussing whether five or eighteen would fit, but whether a pin could house a finite or an infinite number.
-- S J Gould
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We who revel in nature's diversity and feel instructed by every animal tend to brand Homo sapiens as the greatest catastrophe since the Cretaceous extinction.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
%%
Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.
-- Remy De Gourmant
%%
Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.
-- Goya
%%
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Even knowledge has to be in the fashion, and where it is not, it is wise to affect ignorance.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
He that can live alone resembles the brute beast in nothing, the sage in much, and God in everything.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
It is good to vary in order that you may frustrate the curious, especially those who envy you.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Let him that hath no power of patience retire within himself, though even there he will have to put up with himself.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Never have a companion that casts you in the shade.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Never open the door to a lesser evil, for other and greater ones invariably slink in after it.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
Renew your brilliance. It is the privilege of the Phoenix. Excellence grows old and so does fame. Custom wears down our admiration, and a mediocre novelty can conquer the greatest eminence in its old age. So be reborn in courage, in intellect, in happiness, and in all else. Dare to renew your brilliance, dawning many times, like the sun, only changing your surroundings. Withhold it and make people miss it; renew it and make them applaud.
-- Baltasar Gracian
%%
When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now completely frappe!"
-- Graham
%%
Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham
%%
I improve on misquotation.
-- Cary Grant
%%
Generally the officers of the army were indifferent whether the annexation [of Texas] was consummated or not; but not so all of them. For myself, I was bitterly opposed to the measure, and to this day regard the war, which resulted, as one of the most unjust ever waged by a stronger against a weaker nation. It was an instance of a republic following the bad example of European monarchies, in not considering justice in their desire to acquire additional territory.
-- Ulysses S Grant
%%
I know only two tunes: one of them is "Yankee Doodle" and the other one isn't.
-- Ulysses S Grant
%%
The Southern rebellion was largely the outgrowth of the Mexican war. Nations, like individuals, are punished for their transgressions. We got our punishment in the most sanguinary and expensive war of modern times.
-- Ulysses S Grant
%%
Genius not only diagnoses the situation but supplies the answers.
-- Robert Graves
%%
If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
-- Robert Graves
%%
Visions of glory, spare my aching sight...
-- Thomas Gray
%%
Yet ah! why should they know their fate? Since sorrow never comes too late, And happiness too swiftly flies. Thought would destroy their paradise. No more; where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise.
-- Thomas Gray
%%
Adventure is not outside a man; it is within.
-- David Grayson
%%
Friendship is neither a formality nor a mode: it is rather a life.
-- David Grayson
%%
Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
-- David Grayson
%%
Talk of joy; there may be things better than beef stew and baked potatoes and home-made bread ... there may be.
-- David Grayson
%%
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.
-- Harold Green
%%
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green
%%
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene
%%
Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.
-- Graham Greene
%%
The truth has never been of any real value to any human being- it is a symbol for mathematicians and philosophers to pursue. In human relations kindness and lies are worth a thousand truths.
-- Graham Greene
%%
I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene
%%
These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- News analyst Jeff Greenfield, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial
%%
Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares, assess randomization, statistical significance, and standard deviations is less than illiterate; he is preconscious.
-- A James Gregor
%%
If the work of God could be comprehended by reason, it would be no longer wonderful, and faith would have no merit if reason provided proof.
-- Pope Gregory, I
%%
When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.
-- Gregory, I
%%
Man is the only creature endowed with the power of laughter; is he not the only one that deserves to be laughed at?
-- Grenville
%%
The criterion of true beauty is, that it increases in examination; of false, that it lessens. There is something, therefore, in true beauty that corresponds with the right reason, and it is not merely the creature of fancy.
-- Grenville
%%
We laugh heartily to see a whole flock of sheep jump because one did so; might not one imagine that superior beings do the same by us, and for exactly the same reason?
-- Grenville
%%
I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky
%%
One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in.
-- Wayne Gretzky
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I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard
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Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard
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Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.
-- Lewis Grizzard
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Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?
-- Matt Groening
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Now I walk down the street and I see people wearing Simpsons T-shirts who I'm afraid might beat me up, so the quality of fans has broadened. The people who are my fans now frighten me.
-- Matt Groening
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When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
-- Matt Groening
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Anything anybody can say about America is true.
-- Emmett Grogan
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Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
-- Grossman's Misquote
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Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
-- Charles H Grosvenor
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Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
-- Paul Guaguin
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Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara
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The Return we reap from generous actions is not always evident.
-- Francesco Guicciardini
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My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
-- Ursula K Le Guin
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Quotations (such as have point and lack triteness) from the great old authors are an act of reverence on the part of the quoter, and a blessing to a public grown superficial and external.
-- Louise Imogen Guiney
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The carpenter is not the best who makes more chips than all the rest.
-- Arthur Guiterman
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A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry
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An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry
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The little I know I owe to my ignorance.
-- Sacha Guitry
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry
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You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
-- Sacha Guitry
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The probability of anything happening is inversely proportional to its desirability.
-- Gumperson's Law
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To be on time is to be late. To be early is to be on time.
-- Tim Gunter
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Without moral and intellectual independence, there is no anchor for national independence.
-- David Ben-Gurion
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Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something different.
-- Albert von Nagyrapolt Szent-Gyrgyi
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Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S Haas
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My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett
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I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas
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Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
-- Moses Hadas
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This book fills a much-needed gap.
-- Moses Hadas
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The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.
-- Alexander Haig
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From the fact there are 400,000 species of beetles on this planet, but only 8,000 species of mammals, he concluded that the Creator, if He exists, has a special preference for beetles, and so we might be more likely to meet them than any other type of animal on a planet that would support life.
-- J B S Haldane
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It is my supposition that the Universe in not only queerer than we imagine, is queerer than we CAN imagine.
-- J B S Haldane
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The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
-- J B S Haldane
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Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in!
-- H R Haldeman
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We are getting into semantics again. If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be misinterpreted.
-- H R Haldeman, testifying in his own defence
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You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
-- H R Haldeman
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I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale
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A brave man is sometimes a desperado; a bully is always a coward.
-- Haliburton
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A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does.
-- Haliburton
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Faith is one of those words that connotes, however irrationally, some kind of virtue in itself.
-- Louis J Halle
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If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
-- James Halliwell
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Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm
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Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters.
-- Margaret Halsey
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If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed.
-- Kate Halverson
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He has the courage of his connections.
-- A Hamburg
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Experience teaches that men are often so much governed by what they are accustomed to see and practice, that the simplest and most obvious improvements, in the most ordinary occupations, are adopted with hesitation, reluctance, and by slow gradations. Men would resist changes, so long as even a bare support could be ensured by an adherence to ancient courses, and perhaps even longer.
-- Alexander Hamilton
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Religion and Morality are the firmest foundations of the duties of men and women.
-- Alexander Hamilton
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Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
-- Alexander Hamilton
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Why has government been instituted at all? Because the passions of man will not conform to the dictates of reason and justice without constraint.
-- Alexander Hamilton
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Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.
-- Dag Hammarskjold
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The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold
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Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein
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A man must know his limitations if he wants to survive.
-- Hamza
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The greatest fear is the fear of the unknown.
-- Nagaraja Hamza
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beershoot out your nose.
-- Jack Handey
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When I was a kid my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
-- Jack Handey
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Do not attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.
-- Hanlon
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No amount of organization can counteract determined laziness.
-- Chris Hansen
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War will cease when men refuse to fight.
-- Fridtjof Hansen
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
-- Salvor Hardin
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I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends... They're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!
-- Warren G Harding
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I am interested in mathematics only as a creative art.
-- Godfrey H Hardy
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In great mathematics there is a very high degree of unexpectedness, combined with inevitability and economy.
-- Godfrey H Hardy
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Pure mathematics is on the whole distinctly more useful than applied. For what is useful above all is technique, and mathematical technique is taught mainly through pure mathematics.
-- Godfrey H Hardy
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A lover without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy
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You was a good man, and did good things.
-- Thomas Hardy
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The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S Harper
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People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan
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It's a sad and stupid thing to have to proclaim yourself a revolutionary just to be a decent man.
-- David Harris
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Lounjun roun en suffer'n.
-- Joel Chandler Harris
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Jesus is just a word I use to swear with.
-- Richard Harris
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Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.
-- Sydney Harris
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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
-- Sydney J Harris
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When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
-- Sydney Harris
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Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted to think about any other role.
-- US Commissioner of Education William Torrey Harris
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School is more than just a way station. It's your last taste of freedom. It should be savoured!
-- Zonker Harris
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There are all kinds of ways to forestall graduation. Taking a term off, getting suspended, not completing courses, all of these are valid.
-- Zonker Harris
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Society can overlook murder, adultery or swindling; it can never forgive the preaching of a new gospel.
-- Frederic Harrison
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I'm now at the age where I've got to prove that I'm just as good as I never was.
-- Rex Harrison
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I believe and I say it is true Democratic feeling, that all the measures of the Government are directed to the purpose of making the rich richer and the poor poorer.
-- William Henry Harrison
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Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.
-- Johnny Hart
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The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann
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O cursed ambition, thou devouring bird, how dost thou from the field of honesty pick every grain of profit or delight, and mock the reaper's toil!
-- Harvard
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Under the most rigorously controlled conditions, the experimental apparatus will do exactly as it pleases.
-- Harvard's Law
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If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will.
-- Paul Harvey
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In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
-- Paul Harvey
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Treat the other man's faith gently: it is all he has to believe with.
-- Henry S Haskins
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Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.
-- Vaclav Havel
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I said No gnu taxes! Do you see any gnus being taxed?
-- B Hawke
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I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
-- Stephen Hawking
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It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value.
-- Stephen Hawking
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My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it as it is and why it exists as all.
-- Stephen Hawking
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Not only does God play dice with the universe, but sometimes he throws them where they cannot be seen.
-- Stephen Hawking
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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.
-- Stephen Hawking
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A grave, wherever found, preaches a short and pithy sermon to the soul.
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Caresses, expressions of one sort or another, are necessary to the life of the affections as leaves are to the life of a tree. If they are wholly restrained, love will die at the roots.
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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I have sometimes produced a singular and not unpleasing effect, so far as my own mind was concerned, by imagining a train of incidents in which the spirit and mechanism of the fairyland should be combined with the characters and manners of familiar life.
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Is it a fact - or have I dreamt it - that, by means of electricity, the world of matter has become a great nerve, vibrating thousands of miles in a breathless point of time? Rather, the round globe is a vast head, a brain, instinct with intelligence!
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Our most intimate friend is not he to whom we show the worst, but the best of our nature.
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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We sometimes congratulate ourselves at the moment of waking from a troubled dream; it may be so at the moment after death.
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
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Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay
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The expert at anything was once a beginner.
-- Hayes
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The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes
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There is only one terminal dignity ... love.
-- Helen Hayes
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Emotions are your worst enemy in the stock market.
-- Don Hays
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Fashion is the abortive issue of vain ostentation and exclusive egotism: it is haughty, trifling, affected, servile, despotic, mean and ambitious, precise and fantastical, all in a breath ... tied to no rule, and bound to conform to every whim of the minute.
-- William Hazlitt
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Great thoughts reduced to practice become great acts.
-- William Hazlitt
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Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they might have been.
-- William Hazlitt
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Political truth is libel; religious truth, blasphemy.
-- William Hazlitt
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Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt
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Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater. Possession pampers the mind; privation trains and strengthens it.
-- William Hazlitt
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The love of liberty is the love of others.
-- Hazlitt
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The more we do, the more we can do.
-- William Hazlitt
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The origin of all science is the desire to know causes, and the origin of all false science and imposture is the desire to accept false causes rather than none; or, which is the same thing, in the unwillingness to acknowledge our own ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt
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The truly proud man knows neither superiors or inferiors. The first he does not admit of - the last he does not concern himself about.
-- William Hazlitt
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There is no more mean, stupid, dastardly, pitiful, selfish, spiteful, envious, ungrateful animal than the Public. It is the greatest of cowards, for it is afraid of itself.
-- William Hazlitt
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Those who have the largest hearts, have the soundest understandings; and he is the truest philosopher who can forget himself.
-- William Hazlitt
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When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
-- William Hazlitt
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Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education.
-- William Hazlitt
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Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.
-- William Hazlitt
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A large brain, like large government, may not be able to do simple things in a simple way.
-- Donald O Hebb
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Love is a hole in the heart.
-- Ben Hecht
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Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht
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Life has a value only when it has something valuable as its object.
-- Hegel
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Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
-- G W F Hegel
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Reason is the substance of the universe, the design of the world is absolutely rational.
-- Hegel
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The cure for capitalism's failing would require that a government would have to rise above the interests of one class alone.
-- Robert L Heilbroner
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Beware of men on aeroplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanour as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.
-- Cynthia Heimel
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Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel
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When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia Heimel
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Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ.
-- Heinrich Heine
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God will forgive me. It's his job. [Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son metier.]
-- Last words of Heinrich Heine
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I myself, here on Earth, might be God.
-- Heine
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One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
-- Heinrich Heine
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Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, the best thing would to have never been born at all.
-- Heinrich Heine
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Whenever they burn books, they will also, in the end, burn people.
-- Heinrich Heine
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A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.
-- Heinlein
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A cat is only domestic so far as suits its own needs.
-- Heinlein
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A government supported artist is an incompetent whore.
-- Heinlein
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A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?
-- Robert A Heinlein
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A motion to adjourn is always in order.
-- Heinlein
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A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes.
-- Heinlein
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All cats are NOT grey at night. Endless variety...
-- Heinlein
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All men are created unequal.
-- Heinlein
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All's fair in love And war. What A Contemptible Lie!
-- Heinlein
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An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
-- Heinlein
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An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
-- Robert A Heinlein
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Avoid making irrevocable decisions while hungry.
-- Heinlein
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Budget the luxuries first!
-- Heinlein
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Certainly the game is rigged.
-- Heinlein
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Civil servant is semantically equal to civil master.
-- Heinlein
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Committee... A life form with 6 or more legs and no brain.
-- Heinlein
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Courtesy is the lubricant of social interaction.
-- Heinlein
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Don't try to have the last word. You might get it.
-- Heinlein
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Elephant... A mouse built to government specifications.
-- Heinlein
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Everything in excess! Moderation is for monks!
-- Heinlein
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Experts tell you what can't be done and why.
-- Heinlein
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Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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Good research is always profitable.
-- Heinlein
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I believe in an individual's freedom to be happy.
-- Heinlein
%%
I may be wrong, but I'm not uncertain.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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If it can't be expressed in figures it is not science.
-- Heinlein
%%
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.
-- Heinlein
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If you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat.
-- Heinlein
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In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly.
-- Heinlein
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It is better to copulate then never.
-- Heinlein
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Lazarus: "There ought not to be anything in the whole universe that man can't poke his nose into."
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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Liberal should be a 4-letter word.
-- Heinlein
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Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
-- Heinlein
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Majority Rule can be the worst tyranny of all.
-- Heinlein
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May you live as long as you love and love as long as you live.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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Most `scientists' are bottle washers and button sorters.
-- Heinlein
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Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.
-- Heinlein
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Never insult someone by accident.
-- Heinlein
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Never try and teach a pig to sing: it's a waste of time, and it annoys the pig.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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Never try to outstubborn a cat.
-- Heinlein
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-- Heinlein
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No man is an island, but I've met some peninsulas...
-- Heinlein
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Nothing is so simple the government can't screw it up!
-- Heinlein
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One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
-- Robert Heinlein
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Only a fool tells the bald truth on social occasions.
-- Heinlein
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Professionals are predictable, amateurs are dangerous.
-- Heinlein
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Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
-- Robert A Heinlein
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Some people talk better when they breathe vacuum.
-- Heinlein
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Stupidity is generally it's own punishment.
-- Heinlein
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Stupidity is the only universal capital crime.
-- Heinlein
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Stupidity, if left untreated, is self-correcting.
-- Heinlein
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The best applause is money.
-- Heinlein
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The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
-- Robert Heinlein
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The faith in which I was brought up assured me that I was better than other people: I was saved, they were damned ... Our hymns were loaded with arrogance self-congratulation on how cozy we were with the Almighty and what a high opinion he had of us, what hell everybody else would catch come judgment day.
-- Robert Heinlein
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The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
-- Heinlein
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The more impediments to legislation, the better.
-- Heinlein
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The power to tax, once conceded, has no limits.
-- Heinlein
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The whole principle is wrong; censorship is like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't eat steak.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.
-- Robert A Heinlein
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There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
-- Robert A Heinlein
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There is no such thing as "just a cat".
-- Heinlein
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Those who ignore history have no future.
-- Heinlein
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Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
-- Heinlein
%%
To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy... and dull fantasy at that... as the real world is strange and wonderful.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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Valentine Michael Smith was as real as taxes.
-- Heinlein
%%
Virginity is not hereditary...
-- Heinlein
%%
Wait... Sex isn't "merely" anything.
-- Heinlein
%%
When the fox gnaws, smile!
-- Heinlein
%%
Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein
%%
You can have peace or you can have freedom.
-- Heinlein
%%
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate and quickly.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein
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There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
-- Werner Karl Heisenberg
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Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman
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... there is wisdom in madness and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete, and everyone is capable of everything.
-- Joseph Heller
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J Heller
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
-- Joseph Heller
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
-- Joseph Heller
%%
The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
-- Joseph Heller
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Whoever, in the pursuit of science, seeks after immediate practical utility, may generally rest assured that he will seek in vain.
-- H L F von Helmholtz
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Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Hotel owner and prison inmate Leona Helmsley
%%
A blank sheet of paper.
-- Ernest Hemingway, when asked what was the most frightening thing he ever encountered
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All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that it all happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you: the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was. If you can get so that you can give that to people, then you are a writer.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
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But in modern war you will die like a dog for no good reason.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
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But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
-- Ernest Hemingway
%%
Cowardice ... is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend the functioning of the imagination.
-- Ernest Hemingway
%%
Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway's Law of the Dynamics of Dying
%%
For luck you carried a horse chestnut and a rabbit's foot in your right pocket. The fur had been worn off the rabbit's foot long ago and the bones and the sinews were polished by the wear. The claws scratched in the lining of your pocket and you knew your luck was still there.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
I am glad we do not have to try to kill the stars. Imagine if each day a man must try to kill the moon. The moon runs away. But imagine if a man each day should have to try to kill the sun? We are born lucky. Yes, we are born lucky.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway
%%
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
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Never mistake motion for action.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with the.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
The art of the torero is the only art in which the artist is in danger of death and in which the degree of brilliance in the performance is left to the fighter's honour.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things, and because it takes a man's life to know them the little new that each man gets from life is very costly and the only heritage he has to leave.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
-- Ernest Hemingway
%%
Unlike all other forms of lute or combat the conditions are that the winner shall take nothing; neither his ease, nor his pleasure, nor any notions of glory; nor, if he wins far enough, shall there be any reward within himself.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
%%
Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writer palliate the writer's loneliness but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day. For a true writer each book should be a new beginning where he tries again for something that is beyond attainment. He should always try for something that has never been done or that others have tried and failed. Then sometimes, with great luck, he will succeed. How simple the writing of literature would be if it were only necessary to write in another way what has already been written. It is because we have had such great writers in the past that a writer is driven far out past where he can go, out to where no one can help him. I have spoken too long for a writer. A writer should write what he has to say and not speak it. Again I thank you.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway, Nobel Prize acceptance speech
%%
You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason.
-- Ernest Miller Hemingway
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The fact, in short, is that freedom, to be meaningful in an organized society, must consist of an amalgam of hierarchy of freedoms and restraints.
-- Samuel Hendel
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It 's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
-- June Henderson
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The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
-- Nelson Henderson
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I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
-- Jimi Hendrix
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It matters not how straight the gate How charged with punishments the scroll I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul.
-- William E Henley
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The ancient sage who concocted the maxim, Know Thyself might have added, Don't Tell Anyone!
-- H F Henrichs
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We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry
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I want there to be no peasant in my realm so poor that he will not have a chicken in his pot every Sunday. [Je veux que les paysans mettent la poule au pot tous les dimanches.]
-- King Henry, IV of France
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Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defence?
-- Patrick Henry
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Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.
-- Patrick Henry
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Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!
-- Patrick Henry
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Parasitic memes have been strongly selected to fit the strange quirks that developed in human mental systems as they evolved. For example, the ability to plan into the future confers a strong survival advantage, especially since the introduction of farming. But being able to think about the future (and past) generates troubling problems when this ability is applied to questions such as where was I before birth or where will I go after death. The attractiveness of religious belief systems largely stems from providing 'plausible' answers to questions that would not be asked except for the hyperdevelopment of this mental skill.
-- H Keith Henson
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Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn
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If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-- Katharine Hepburn
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Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.
-- Katharine Hepburn
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Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn
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Without discipline, there's no life at all.
-- Katharine Hepburn
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All is flux, nothing stays still.
-- Heraclitus
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Everything flows; nothing remains.
-- Heraclitus
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Greater dooms win greater destinies.
-- Heraclitus
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No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.
-- Heraclitus
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Nothing endures but change.
-- Heraclitus
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Polemos pater panton.
-- Heraclitus
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There is nothing permanent except change.
-- Heraclitus
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War is the father and king of all: some he has made gods, and some men; some slaves and some free.
-- Heraclitus
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... it is to attempt seeing Truth without knowing Falsehood. It is the attempt to see Light without knowing Darkness. It cannot be.
-- Frank Herbert
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Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase... the human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.
-- Frank Herbert
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
-- Frank Herbert
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If Wishes were fishes, we'd all cast nets.
-- Frank Herbert
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If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual.
-- Frank Herbert
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Respect for the truth comes close to being the basis for all morality.
-- Frank Herbert
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The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.
-- Frank Herbert
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The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
-- Frank Herbert
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What do you despise? By this are you truly known.
-- Frank Herbert
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Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.
-- Frank Herbert
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Lawyer's houses are built on the heads of fools.
-- G Herbert
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Love and a cough cannot be hid.
-- George Herbert
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Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.
-- George Herbert
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If it is good, they will stop making it.
-- Herblock's Law
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Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford
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You're an actor, are you? Well, all that means is: you are irresponsible, irrational, romantic, and incapable of handling an adult emotion or a universal concept without first reducing it to something personal, material, sensational ... - and probably sexual!
-- George Herman
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Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.
-- Herodotus
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If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.
-- Herodotus
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Now that the men of this family are Hellenes, sprung from Perdiccas, as they themselves affirm, is a thing which I can declare on my own knowledge, and which I will hereafter make plainly evident. That they are so has been already adjudged by those who manage the Pan-Hellenic contest at Olympia.
-- Herodotus
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Now that these descendants of Perdiccas are Hellenes, as they themselves say, I myself chance to know.
-- Herodotus
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Tell your king who sent you how his Hellenic viceroy of Macedonia has received you hospitably...
-- Herodotus
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Babies are such a nice way to start people.
-- Don Herold
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It takes lots of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
-- Herold
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The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
-- Don Herold
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There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
-- Don Herold
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When fear admits no hope of safety, Necessity makes dastards valiant men.
-- Herrick
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All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of confirming more and more strongly the truths that come from on high and are contained in the sacred writings.
-- John Frederick Herschel
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Man does work for profit in order to enjoy pain; but in a positive sense, he works to enjoy the excitement and meaning that achievement provides for his own psychological growth and thereby his happiness.
-- Frederick Herzberg
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The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
-- Rev. Hesburgh
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The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.
-- Theodore Hesburgh
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Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning.
-- Hesiod
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Our mind is capable of passing beyond the dividing line we have drawn for it. Beyond the pairs of opposites of which the world consists, other, new insights begin.
-- Hermann Hesse
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A war put off is not a war avoided.
-- C Heston
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Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood
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Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?
-- John Heywood
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Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
-- D J Hicks
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It is certainly possible that the future of human thought is this: that it will be swamped under a flood of human silliness.... It is possible for clever cynical men to control (the many) by supplying them with drugs, by keeping them from reading good books or thinking original thoughts, changing them ultimately into idiots by giving them a good time.
-- Gilbert Highet
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Many students, far more than college and university teachers realize, have emotional and intellectual impediments, often without knowing it themselves; and one of the imperative duties of teachers is to diminish or remove them.
-- Gilbert Highet
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The aim of those who try to control thought is always the same. They find one single explanation of the world, one system of thought and action that will (they believe) cover everything; and then they try to impose that on all thinking people.
-- Gilbert Highet
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These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but *minds* alive on the shelves.
-- Gilbert Highet
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Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.
-- Cullen Hightower
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We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic.
-- Cullen Hightower
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We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex - but Congress can.
-- Cullen Hightower
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Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.
-- Napoleon Hill
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The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.
Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
-- Burton Hills
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The best political weapon is the weapon of terror. Cruelty commands respect. Men may hate us. But, we don't ask for their love; only for their fear.
-- Heinrich Himmler
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As to diseases, make a habit of two things - to help, or at least, to do no harm.
-- Hippocrates
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The life so short, the craft so long to learn.
-- Hippocrates
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Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M Hirschfield
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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
-- Bill Hirst
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I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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The paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace the hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'
-- Alfred Hitchcock
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A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.
-- Raymond Hitchcock
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Time runs backwards, at the end / You turn into a child again / Then you're dust.
-- Robyn Hitchcock
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Either the world will be governed according to the ideas of modern democracy and then the weight of any decision will result in favour of the numerically stronger races, or the world will be dominated in accordance with the laws of the natural order of force, and then it is the peoples of brutal will who will conquer.
-- Adolf Hitler
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Great liars are also great magicians.
-- Adolf Hitler
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My will decides.
-- Adolf Hitler
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Socialism and Nazism is the same.
-- Adolf Hitler
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Strength lies not in defence but in attack.
-- Adolf Hitler
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Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
-- Adolf Hitler
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The German people is not warlike nation. It is a soldierly one, which means it does not want a war but does not fear it. It loves peace but it also loves its humour and freedom.
-- Adolf Hitler
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The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.
-- Adolf Hitler
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The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belonged to one category.
-- Adolf Hitler
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The only people I have been able to use are those who fought.
-- Adolf Hitler
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The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
-- Adolf Hitler
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There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, endeavour, Honesty, Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and love of the Fatherland.
-- Adolf Hitler
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What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler
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Who says I am not under the special protection of God?
-- Adolf Hitler
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The mind is lowered through association with inferiors. With equals it attains equality; and with superiors, superiority.
-- The Hitopadesa
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If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person. They will find an easier way to do it.
-- Hlade
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There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
-- C A R Hoare
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An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.
-- Russell Hoban
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In the state of nature profit is the measure of right.
-- Thomas Hobbes
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Laughter is nothing else but a sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly.
-- Thomas Hobbes
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Life in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
-- Thomas Hobbes
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The tendency of all strong Governments has always been to suppress liberty, partly in order to ease the processes of rule, partly from sheer disbelief in innovation.
-- J A Hobson
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I find that a man is as old as his work. If his work keeps him from moving forward, he will look forward with the work.
-- William Ernest Hocking
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There is no law that vulgarity and literary excellence cannot coexist.
-- A Trevor Hodge
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I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest
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When you're away, I'm restless, lonely Wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein
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Faith in a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for lost faith in ourselves.
-- Eric Hoffer
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It sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents.
-- Eric Hoffer
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Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
-- Eric Hoffer
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The fear of becoming a 'has-been' keeps some people from becoming anything.
-- Eric Hoffer
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The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, rather, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life.
-- Eric Hoffer
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To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
-- Eric Hoffer
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To the frustrated, freedom from responsibility is more attractive than freedom from restraint.
-- Eric Hoffer
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
-- Eric Hoffer
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Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger.
-- Abbie Hoffman
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Test the government, not the people; that's what democracy is all about.
-- Abbie Hoffman
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The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
-- Abbie Hoffman
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Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman
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I share the belief of many of my contemporaries that the spiritual crisis pervading all spheres of Western industrial society can be remedied only by a change in our world view. We shall have to shift from the materialistic, dualistic belief that people and their environment are separate, toward a new consciousness of an all reality, which embraces the experiencing ego, a reality in which people feel their oneness with animate nature and all of creation.
-- Dr Albert Hofmann
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Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and co.
-- James P Hogan
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Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice.
-- James P Hogan
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It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job
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Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M Holden
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Joys divided are increased.
-- Josiah Gilbert Holland
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The temple of art is built in words.
-- Josiah Gilbert Holland
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They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday
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The problem that we face is a collective responsibility in order to balance on the one hand the competitive enterprise system from which innovation, entrepreneurship and new products and new processes come and, on the other hand, a sensible series of restraints. To try to wish away one or the other, to say that government can produce the products and services, or that the enterprise system can take care of the public good, I think, is misreading the times.
-- J Herbert Hollomon
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Yes, we love peace, but we are not willing to take wounds for it, as we are for war.
-- John Andrew Holmes
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The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it unfriendly. It is simply indifferent.
-- John H Holmes
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Alas for those who never sing but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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As life is action and passion, it is required of man that he should share the passion and action of his time, at peril of being judged not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr
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Beware how you take away hope from another human being.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Death tugs at my ear and says: "Live, I am coming."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr
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Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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I hate facts. I always say the chief end of man is to form general propositions ... adding that no general proposition is worth a damn.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr
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It is by no means certain that our individual personality is the single inhabitant of these our corporeal frames... We all do things both awake and asleep which surprise us. Perhaps we have cotenants in this house we live in.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr
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Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr
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Sweet is the scene where genial friendship plays The pleasing game of interchanging praise.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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The great thing in the world is not so much where we start as in what direction we are moving.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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We have to choose, and for my part I think it a less evil that some criminals should escape than that the government should play an ignoble part.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr
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Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do.
-- John Holt
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There it was, hidden in alphabetical order.
-- Rita Holt
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In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton
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A man dies still if he has done nothing, as one who has done much.
-- Homer
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At last is Hector stretch'd upon the plain, Who fear'd no vengeance for Patroclus slain: Then, Prince! You should have fear'd, what now you feel; Achilles absent was Achilles still: Yet a short space the great avenger stayed, Then low in dust thy strength and glory laid.
-- Homer
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There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer
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Winged words.
-- Homer
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The public doesn't want new music; the main thing it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger
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Those who say life is worth living at any cost have already written for themselves an epitaph of infamy, for there is no cause and no person they will not betray to stay alive.
-- Sidney Hook
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Ambition is the glorious frailty of the noble mind.
-- Hoole
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I slept and dreamed that life was beauty. I awoke ... and found that life was duty.
-- Ellen Stugis Hooper
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Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover
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I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
-- John Edgar Hoover
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Justice is incidental to law and order.
-- John Edgar Hoover
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Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert HooverBoren's Law
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If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
-- Bob Hope
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You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
-- Bob Hope
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
-- Art Hoppe
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Acquittal of the guilty damns the judge.
-- Horace
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Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant.
-- Horace
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Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
-- Horace
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He has the deed half done who has made a beginning.
-- Horace
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He is armed without who is innocent within, be this thy screen, and this thy wall of brass.
-- Horace
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He tosses aside his paint-pots and his words a foot and a half long.
-- Horace
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I have completed a monument more lasting than brass.
-- Horace
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I strive to be brief, and I become obscure.
-- Horace
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It is your business, when the wall next door catches fire.
-- Horace
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Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.
-- Horace
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Leave the rest to the gods.
-- Horace
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Mingle some brief folly with your wisdom.
-- Horace
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Nothing is too high for the daring of mortals: we storm heaven itself in our folly.
-- Horace
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Nothing's beautiful from every point of view.
-- Horace
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Now is the time for drinking, now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.
-- Horace
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Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
-- Horace
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Patience makes lighter What sorrow may not heal.
-- Horace
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Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow. [Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.]
-- Horace
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
-- Horace
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You have played enough; you have eaten and drunk enough. Now it is time for you to depart.
-- Horace
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As a criminal organization, the Federal government makes the Mafia look like a bunch of purse snatchers.
-- Kevin S Van Horn
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Adversity borrows its sharpest sting from our impatience.
-- Bishop Horne
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The real world is a special case.
-- Horngren's Observation (generalized)
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Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!
-- Blair Houghton
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When you're a lawyer, you expect your client to lie to you, but not when he is the president.
-- Dick Houser
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... And malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.
-- A E Housman
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When your dreams tire, they go underground and out of kindness that's where they stay.
-- Libby Houston
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I would give no thought of what the world might say of me, if I could only transmit to posterity the reputation of an honest man.
-- Sam Houston
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There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar
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A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe
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A thief believes everybody steals.
-- E W Howe
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Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
-- Ed Howe
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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
-- Ed Howe
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The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.
-- Edward W Howe
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When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
-- E W Howe
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Once a photograph of the Earth, taken from outside, is available, a new idea as powerful as any other in history will be let loose.
-- Fred Hoyle
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There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle
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A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Art is not a thing; it is a way.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more that they do.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Gossip is only the lack of a worthy memory.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success?
-- Elbert Hubbard
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I believe in courtesy, in kindness, in generosity, in good cheer, in friendship and in honest competition. I believe there is something doing somewhere, for every man ready to do it. I believe I'm ready, RIGHT NOW.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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If you want work well done, select a busy man ... the other kind has no time.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Life in abundance comes only through great love.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Life is just one damned thing after another.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Men are punished by their sins, not for them.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Men are rich only as they give. He who gives great service gets great rewards.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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No one ever gets far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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One can endure sorrow alone, but it takes two to be glad.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private citizens will occasionally kill theirs.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods.
-- Elbert Hubbard
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The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
The man who is anybody and who does anything is surely going to be criticized, vilified, and misunderstood. That is part of the penalty for greatness, and every great man understands it; and understands, too, that it is no proof of greatness. The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure continuously without resentment.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
The secret of success is this: there is no secret of success.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
The supernatural is the natural not yet understood.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
This will never be a civilized country until we expend more money for books than we do for chewing gum.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
Your friend is that man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
-- Elbert Hubbard
%%
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard
%%
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
-- F M Hubbard
%%
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; perty and wealth have both failed.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
Some folks can look so busy doing nuthin' that they seem indispensable.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money.
-- Kin Hubbard
%%
If you really want to make a lot of money, start your own religion.
-- L Ron Hubbard
%%
The way to make money is to start your own religion.
-- L Ron Hubbard
%%
I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human being than someone who doesn't believe anything.
-- David St Hubbins
%%
Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.
-- David St Hubbins
%%
And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living colour, you're about to see another first ... an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who shot herself during a broadcast
%%
Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood.
-- D B Hudson
%%
Never have partners.
-- Hughes
%%
A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes
%%
Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
-- Langston Hughes
%%
Humour is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
-- Langston Hughes
%%
I swear to the Lord I still can't see Why Democracy means Everybody but me.
-- Langston Hughes
%%
It's more than a game. It's an institution.
-- Thomas Hughes
%%
A compliment is like a kiss through a veil.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
An invasion of armies can be resisted; and invasion of ideas cannot be resisted.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
I had a dream my life would be different from this hell I am living, so different from what it seemed. Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Music expresses that which can not be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Nothing else in the world... not all the armies... is so powerful as an idea whose time has come.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Russell Lowell No man is more unhappy than the one who is never in adversity; the greatest affliction of life is never to be afflicted. Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters.
-- Victor Marie Hugo
%%
The supreme happiness in life it the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
There is nothing like a dream to create the future.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.
-- Victor Marie Hugo
%%
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Thought is the labour of the intellect, reverie is its pleasure.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.
-- Victor Hugo
%%
Hypocrisy is the lubricant of society.
-- David Hull
%%
We all of us need assistance. Those who sustain others themselves want to be sustained.
-- Maurice Hulst
%%
There is a country is Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
-- Sigfried Hulzer
%%
A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow real poverty.
-- Hume
%%
What a peculiar privilege has this little agitation of the brain which we call 'thought'.
-- Hume
%%
Computers are utterly subversive of dictatorships because they are such a powerful instrument of communication.
-- Brit Hume
%%
Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.
-- David Hume
%%
Reason is and ought to be the slave of the passions and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them.
-- David Hume
%%
There ambition can cover its enterprises, even to the person himself, under the appearance of principle, it is the most incurable and inflexible of passions.
-- David Hume
%%
Where ambition can cover its enterprises, even to the person himself, under the appearance of principle, it is the most incurable and inflexible of passions.
-- David Hume
%%
The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbour.
-- Hubert H Humphrey
%%
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
-- Hubert H Humphrey
%%
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A Humphrey
%%
No one is entitled to the truth.
-- E Howard Hunt
%%
Affection, like melancholy, magnifies trifles; but the magnifying of the one is like looking through a telescope at heavenly objects; that of the other, like enlarging monsters with a microscope.
-- Leigh Hunt
%%
Sometimes we live no particular way but our own. Sometimes we visit your country and live in your home. Sometimes we ride on your horses, sometimes we walk alone. Sometimes the songs that we sing are just songs of our own.
-- Robert Hunter
%%
Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbours as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston
%%
O holy simplicity!
-- John Huss
%%
I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.
-- John Marcellus Huston
%%
The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins
%%
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is Music.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Folly is often more cruel in the consequences than malice can be in the intent.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
From their experience or from the recorded experience of others (history), men learn only what their passions and their metaphysical prejudices allow them to learn.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
I can sympathise with people's pains, but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
The only completely consistent people are the dead.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you have worked on your own corner.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
To us, the moment 8:17 A.M. means something - something very important, if it happens to be the starting time of our daily train. To our ancestors, such an odd eccentric instant was without significance - did not even exist. In inventing the locomotive, Watt and Stevenson were part inventors of time.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Words form the thread on which we string our experiences.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, intelligent enough.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
-- Aldous Huxley
%%
Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe.
-- Thomas Huxley
%%
If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is the man who has so much as to be out of danger?
-- Thomas Henry Huxley
%%
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley
%%
The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley
%%
The known is finite, the unknown infinite; intellectually we stand on an islet in the midst of in illimitable ocean of inexplicability. Our business in every generation is to reclaim a little more land.
-- Thomas H Huxley
%%
The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley
%%
My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, you've had a great life.
-- Lee Iacocca
%%
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside. It is better to be the widow of a hero than the wife of a coward.
-- Dolores Ibarruri
%%
I hold that man is in the right who is most closely in league with the future.
-- Henrik Ibsen
%%
The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.
-- Henrik Ibsen
%%
I'm bisexual. When ever I want sex I can buy it.
-- Eric Idle
%%
People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
-- Baseball player Pete Incaviglia
%%
It is astonishing with how little wisdom mankind can be governed, when that little wisdom is its own.
-- W R Inge
%%
Religion is superstition enslaving a philosophy.
-- Inge
%%
The church is only a secular institution in which the halfeducated speak to the halfconverted.
-- William Ralph Inge
%%
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
-- William Ralph Inge
%%
A crime against god is a demonstrated impossibility.
-- Ingersoll
%%
An honest god is the noblest work of man.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll
%%
As long as woman regards the Bible as the charter of her rights, she will be the slave of man. The bible was not written by a woman. Within its leaves there is nothing but humiliation and shame for her.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
Courage without conscience is a wild beast.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
God has always resembled his creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved and he was invariably found on the side of those in power. ... Most of the gods were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever been considered a divine perfume.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll
%%
Happiness is not a reward-it is a consequence. Suffering is not a punishment-it is a result.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll
%%
Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin.
-- Robert Ingersoll
%%
Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishment - there are consequences.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
In the republic of mediocrity genius is dangerous.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
It is a blessed thing that in every age someone has had the individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll
%%
It is an old habit with theologians to beat the living with the bones of the dead.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
Orthodoxy cannot afford to put out the fires of hell.
-- Ingersoll
%%
Surely every human being ought to attain to the dignity of the unit. Surely it is worth while to be one, and to feel that the census of the universe would be incomplete without counting you. Surely there is grandeur in knowing that in the realm of thought you are without a chain; that you have the right to explore all heights and all depths; that there are no walls or fences, or prohibited places, or sacred corners in all the vast expanse of thought; that your intellect owes no allegiance to any being, human or divine; that you hold all in fee, and upon no condition, and by no tenure, whatsoever; that in the world of mind you are relieved from all personal dictation, and from the ignorant tyranny of majorities. Surely it is worth something to feel that there are no priests, no popes, no parties, no governments, no kings, no gods, to whom your intellect can be compelled to pay a reluctant homage. Surely it is a joy to know that all the cruel ingenuity of bigotry can devise no prison, no dungeon, no cell in which for one instant to confine a thought; that ideas cannot be dislocated by racks, nor crushed in iron boots, nor burned with fire. Surely it is sublime to think that the brain is a castle, and that within its curious bastions and winding halls the soul, in spite of all worlds and all beings, is the supreme sovereign of itself.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll
%%
The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
We are not accountable for the sins of Adam.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids who had to drown His own?
-- Ingersoll
%%
With soap, baptism is a good thing.
-- Robert G Ingersoll
%%
Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis
%%
Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.
-- Eugene Ionesco
%%
Because modelling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take.
-- Kathy Ireland
%%
A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.
-- Washington Irving
%%
A woman's life is a history of the affections.
-- Washington Irving
%%
Society is like a lawn, where every roughness is smoothed, every bramble eradicated, and where the eye is delighted by the smiling verdure of a velvet surface. He, however, who would study nature in its wildness and variety, must plunge into the forest, must explore the glen, must stem the torrent, and dare the precipice.
-- Washington Irving
%%
There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place.
-- Washington Irving
%%
And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.
-- Isaiah, 2:4
%%
It is your privilege, as one who has been blessed with untrammelled freedom, to consider all Hellas your fatherland, as did the founder of your race.
-- Isokratis, to Philip
%%
A camel is a horse designed by committee.
-- Sir Alec Issigonis
%%
Virtue herself is her own fairest reward.
-- Silius Italicus
%%
By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost a fortune to maintain and is still in danger of collapsing. There are no plans to replace it, since it was never needed in the first place. I expect every installation has its own pet software which is analogous to the above.
-- Ken Iverson
%%
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins
%%
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
-- Wes Izzard
%%
The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.
-- Alexander Jablokov
%%
One man with courage makes a majority.
-- Andrew Jackson
%%
Beware of your habits. The better they are the more surely they will be your undoing.
-- Holbrook Jackson
%%
Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
-- Holbrook Jackson
%%
No man is ever old enough to know better.
-- Holbrook Jackson
%%
Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson
%%
Two rights don't make a wrong, but three will get you back on the freeway.
-- James Wesley Jackson
%%
If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.
-- Jesse Jackson
%%
Never look down on anybody unless you helping him up.
-- Jesse Jackson
%%
We've removed the ceiling above our dreams. There are no more impossible dreams.
-- Jesse Jackson
%%
The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish.
-- Justice Robert Jackson
%%
The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.
-- Reggie Jackson
%%
All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Term Limits Executive Director Paul Jacob
%%
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
-- Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government
%%
Governments, like physicians, must simultaneously be the masters and the servants of those whom they govern.
-- Harry V Jaffa
%%
There is no difference between man and man, as there is between man and beast or between man and God, that makes one by nature the ruler of another. This does not mean that there are not wide differences among men, or that it is not often to the advantage of some to be ruled by others.
-- Harry V Jaffa
%%
Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never happen.
-- James
%%
Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James
%%
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
-- Clive James
%%
It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.
-- P D James
%%
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
-- William James
%%
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
-- William James
%%
Faith means belief in something concerning which doubt is theoretically possible.
-- William James
%%
Genius is the art of nonhabitual thought.
-- William James
%%
Let everything you do be done as if it makes a difference.
-- William James
%%
Organization and method mean much, but contagious human characters mean more in a university, where a few undisciplinables ... may be infinitely more precious than a faculty full of orderly routinists.
-- William James
%%
Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.
-- William James
%%
Same old slippers, Same old rice; Same old glimpse of paradise.
-- William James
%%
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
-- William James
%%
The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.
-- William James
%%
The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community.
-- William James
%%
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
-- William James
%%
The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
-- William James
%%
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
-- William James
%%
The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.
-- William James
%%
This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.
-- William James
%%
To give up pretensions is as blessed a relief as to get them ratified.
-- William James
%%
We all want our friends to tell us our bad qualities; it is only the particular ass that does so that we can't tolerate.
-- William James
%%
Whenever two men meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other sees him, and each man as he really is.
-- William James
%%
In morals, what begins in fear usually ends in wickedness; in religion, what begins in fear usually ends in fanaticism. Fear, either as a principle or a motive, is the beginning of all evil.
-- Mrs Jameson
%%
The mysterious is always attractive. People will always follow a veil.
-- Bede Jarrett
%%
The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.
-- Bede Jarrett
%%
God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
-- Alfred Jarry
%%
Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.
-- Javan
%%
From Watergate we learned what generations before us have known; our Constitution works. And during Watergate years it was interpreted again so as to reaffirm that no one - absolutely no one - is above the law.
-- Leon Jaworski
%%
... a wise and frugal government which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labour the bread it has earned.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
... God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. ... And what country can preserve its liberties, if it's rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
... wise and frugal government which shall restrain men from injuring one another, [and] shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
A Bill of Rights is what the people are entitled to against every government, and what no just government should refuse, or rest on inference.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
A coward is much more exposed to quarrels than a man of spirit.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
A people who expect to be ignorant and free expect what never will, and never can, be.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerve in the brain of Jupiter. But may we hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated reformer of human errors.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
As government grows, freedom recedes.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
But a short time elapsed after the death of the great reformer of the Jewish religion, before his principles were departed from by those who professed to be his special servants, and perverted into an engine for enslaving mankind, and aggrandizing their oppressors in Church and State.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
But the greatest of all reformers of the depraved religion of his own country was Jesus of Nazareth. Abstracting what is really his from the rubbish in which it is buried, easily distinguished by its lustre from the dross of his biographers, and as separable as the diamond from the dunghill, we have the outlines of a system of the most sublime morality which has ever fallen from the lips of man; outlines which it is lamentable he did not live to fill up... The establishment of the innocent and genuine character of this benevolent moralist, and the rescuing it from the imputation of imposture, which has resulted from artificial systems*, invented by ultra-Christian sects, unauthorized by a single word ever uttered by him, is a most desirable object... *eg. The immaculate conception of Jesus, his deification, the creation of the world by him, his miraculous powers, his resurrection and visible ascension, his corporeal presence in the Eucharist, the Trinity; original sin, atonement, regeneration, election, orders of Hierarchy, etc.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Creeds have been the bane of the Christian church ... made of Christendom a slaughter-house.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Enlighten people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Good wine is a necessity of life for me.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
He is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
History I believe furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
Honesty is the 1st chapter in the book of wisdom.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I believe that justice is instinct and innate, the moral sense is as much a part of our constitution as the threat of feeling, seeing and hearing.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I cannot live without books.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I contemplate with sovereign reverence the act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and state.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
-- Jefferson
%%
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I know my own principles to be pure and therefore am not ashamed of them. On the contrary, I wish them known and therefore willingly express them to everyone. They are the same I have acted on from the year 1775 to this day, and are the same, I am sure, with those of the great body of the American people.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I know of no safe repository of the ultimate power of society but the people. And if we think them not enlightened enough, the remedy is not to take power from them, but to inform them by education.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I never told my religion nor scrutinize that of another. I never attempted to make a convert nor wished to change another's creed. I have judged of others' religion by their lives, for it is from our lives and not from our words that our religion must be read. By the same test must the world judge me.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labours of the people under the pretence of taking care of them.
-- Thomas Jefferson
%%
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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If a Nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be... if we are to guard against ignorance and remain free, it is the responsibility of every American to be informed.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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If nature has made any one thing less susceptible than all others of exclusive property, it is the action of the thinking power called an idea, which an individual may exclusively possess as long as he keeps it to himself; but the moment it is divulged, it forces itself into the possession of everyone, and the receiver cannot dispossess himself of it. Its peculiar character, too, is that no one possesses the less, because every other possesses the whole of it. He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. That ideas should freely spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature, when she made them, like fire, expansible over all space, without lessening their density at any point, and like the air in which we breathe, move, and have our physical being, incapable of confinement or exclusive appropriation. Inventions then cannot, in nature, be a subject of property.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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If we can prevent the government from wasting the labours of the people under the pretence of caring for them, they will be happy.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Ignorance is preferable to error.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot ... they have perverted the purest religion ever preached to man into mystery and jargon, unintelligible to all mankind, and therefore the safer engine for their purpose.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Information is the currency of democracy.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Instead of that liberty which takes root and growth in the progress of reason, if recovered by mere force or accident, it becomes with an unprepared people a tyranny still of the many, the few, or the one.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It had become an universal and almost uncontroverted position in the several States, that the purposes of society do not require a surrender of all our rights to our ordinary governors; that there are certain portions of right not necessary to enable them to carry on an effective government, and which experience has nevertheless proved they will be constantly encroaching on, if submitted to them; that there are also certain fences which experience has proved peculiarly efficacious against wrong, and rarely obstructive of right, which yet the governing powers have ever shown a disposition to weaken and remove. Of the first kind, for instance, is freedom of religion; of the second, trial by jury, habeas corpus laws, free presses.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It is a principle that the right to a thing gives a right to the means without which it could not be used, that is to say, that the means follow their end.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It is as useless to argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason as to administer medication to the dead.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It is not to be understood that I am with him (Jesus Christ) in all his doctrines. I am a Materialist; he takes the side of Spiritualism; he preaches the efficacy of repentance toward forgiveness of sin; I require a counterpoise of good works to redeem it. Among the sayings and discourses imputed to him by his biographers, I find many passages of fine imagination, correct morality, and of the most lovely benevolence; and others, again, of so much ignorance, so much absurdity, so much untruth, charlatanism and imposture, as to pronounce it impossible that such contradictions should have proceeded from the same being. I separate, therefore, the gold from the dross; restore him to the former, and leave the latter to the stupidity of some, the roguery of others of his disciples. Of this band of dupes and imposters, Paul was the great Coryphaeus, and the first corruptor of the doctrines of Jesus.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It is to secure our rights that we resort to government at all.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It is too late in the day for men of sincerity to pretend they believe in the Platonic mysticisms that three are one, and one is three; and yet that the one is not three, and the three are not one. But this constitutes the craft, the power and the profit of the priests.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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It rests not with ourselves alone to enjoy in peace and concord the blessings of self-government, so long denied to mankind: to show by example the sufficiency of human reason for the care of human affairs and that the will of the majority, the Natural law of every society, is the only sure guardian of the rights of man.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Laws abridging the natural right of the citizen should be restrained by rigorous constructions within their narrowest limits.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Laws that forbid the carrying of arms... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.
-- Thomas Jefferson, quoting Cesare Beccaria
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Man [is] a rational animal, endowed by nature with rights and with an innate sense of justice.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Man, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without a rudder, is the sport of every wind. With such persons, gullibility, which they call faith, takes the helm of reason, and the mind becomes a wreck.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Never buy what you do not want, because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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No experiment can be more interesting than that we are now trying, and which we trust will end in establishing the fact, that men can be governed by reason and truth. Our first object should therefore be to leave open to him all the avenues of truth. The most effective hitherto found, is the freedom of the press. It is, therefore, the first shut up by those who fear the investigation of their actions.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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No freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
-- Thomas Jefferson, proposal Virginia Constitution, 1776
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No instance exists of a person's writing two language perfectly. That will always appear to be his native language which was most familiar to him in his youth.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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No man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against the tyranny in government.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Nothing... is unchangeable but the inherent and inalienable rights of man.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Of liberty I would say that, in the whole plenitude of its extent, it is unobstructed action according to our will. But rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law,' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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On every question of construction [of the Constitution], let us carry ourselves back to the time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested in the debates, and instead of trying what meaning may be squeezed out of the text, or invented against it, conform to the probable one in which it was passed.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Reason and free inquiry are the only effective agents against error. Give a loose to them, they will support the true religion by bringing every false one to their tribunal, to the test of their investigation. They are the natural enemies of error, and of error only. Had not the Roman government permitted free inquiry, Christianity could never have been introduced. Had not free inquiry been indulged at the era of the Reformation, the corruption's of Christianity could not have been purged away.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others?
-- Thomas Jefferson
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That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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That liberty [is pure] which is to go to all, and not to the few or the rich alone.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The art of life is the art of avoiding pain.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The Christian God can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian God is a three headed monster; cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like God, one only needs to look at the calibre of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The Constitution of most of our states (and of the United States) assert that all power is inherent in the people; that they may exercise it by themselves; that it is their right and duty to be at all times armed and that they are entitled to freedom of person, freedom of religion, freedom of property, and freedom of press.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time; the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The office of reformer of the superstitions of a nation, is ever more dangerous. Jesus had to work on the perilous confines of reason and religion; and a step to the right or left might place him within the grasp of the priests of the superstition, a bloodthirsty race, as cruel and remorseless as the being whom they represented as the family God of Abraham, of Isaac and of Jacob, and the local God of Israel. That Jesus did not mean to impose himself on mankind as the son of God, physically speaking, I have been convinced by the writings of men more learned than myself in that lore.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The people cannot be all, and always, well-informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The policy of the American government is to leave their citizens free, neither restraining nor aiding them in their pursuits.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The truth is, that the greatest enemies of the doctrine of Jesus are those, calling themselves the expositors of them, who have perverted them to the structure of a system of fancy absolutely incomprehensible, and without any foundation in his genuine words. And the day will come, when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government, and to protect its free expression should be our first object.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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This is an important statement and was given prominence in the opening of the book In Pursuit of Reason.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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This is the fourth?
-- Last words of Thomas Jefferson, 4th of July 1826
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We are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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We have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labour of the industrious. I believe it might be much simplified to the relief of those who maintain it.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these, are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; that to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.
-- Declaration of Independence as written by Thomas Jefferson, 1776
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We think, in America, that it is necessary to introduce the people into every department of government, as far as they are capable of exercising it, and that this is the only way to ensure a long continued and honest administration of its powers.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Were it left for me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Were we directed from Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should soon want bread.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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You seem... to consider the judges as the ultimate arbiters of all constitutional questions; a very dangerous doctrine indeed, and one which would place us under the despotism of an oligarchy.... The Constitution has erected no such single tribunal.
-- Thomas Jefferson
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[Montesquieu wrote in Spirit of the Laws,] 'In the state of nature, indeed, all men are born equal; but they cannot continue in this equality. Society makes them lose it, and they recover it only by the protection of the laws.'
-- Thomas Jefferson
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Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.
-- Jennings
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Honesty is something that never wears out.
-- Waylon Jennings
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It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
-- Jerome K Jerome
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It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerrold
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Love's like the measles, all the worse when it comes late.
-- Douglas Jerrold
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Religion is in the heart, not in the knees.
-- Jerrold
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Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
-- George Jessel
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I am the bread of life.
-- Jesus
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God helps those who have 7 percent mortgages.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
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Some foolish men declare that a Creator made the world. The doctrine that the world was created is illadvised, and should be rejected. If God created the world, where was He before creation? How could God have made the world without any raw material? If you say He made this first, and then the world, you are faced with an endless regression ... Know that the world is uncreated, as time itself is, without beginning and end.
-- The Mahapurana Jinasena
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Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel
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There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
-- Billy Joel
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I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St John
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Men are like wine, some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
-- Pope John, XXIII
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There are three ways a man can be ruined: women, gambling, and farming. My father chose the most boring.
-- Pope John, XXIII
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A man should be careful never to tell tales of himself to his own disadvantage; people may be amused, and laugh at the time, but they will be remembered, and brought up against him upon some subsequent occasion.
-- Johnson
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In the bottle, discontent seeks for comfort, cowardice for courage, and bashfulness for confidence.
-- Johnson
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Words are men's daughters, but God's sons are things.
-- Johnson
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I am grieved that it should be said he is my brother, and take these courses. Well, as he brews, so shall he drink, for George again. Yet he shall hear on't, and tightly, too, an' I live, i'faith.
-- Ben Johnson
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When I take the humour of a thing once, I am like your tailor's needle I go through.
-- Ben Johnson
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We have watched American democracy at close hand for many years and we believe few governments are institutionally so susceptible to dictatorship as this one.
-- Gerald Johnson
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No news at 4:30 a.m. is good.
-- Lady Bird Johnson
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A President's hardest task is not to do what is right, but to know what is right.
-- Lyndon Bains Johnson
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Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.
-- Lyndon B Johnson
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If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: PRESIDENT CAN'T SWIM.
-- Lyndon Baines Johnson
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If we are to live together in peace, we must come to know each other better.
-- Lyndon Baines Johnson
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We have seen too much success to have become obsessed with failure.
-- Lyndon B Johnson
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A child should not be discouraged from reading anything that he takes a liking to, from a notion that it is above his reach. If that be the case, the child will soon find it out and desist.
-- Samuel Johnson
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A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.
-- Samuel Johnson
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A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Do not accustom yourself to consider debt only as an inconvenience. You will find it a calamity.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Few things are impossible to diligence and skill ... Great works are performed, not by strength, but perseverance.
-- Samuel Johnson
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He is a benefactor of mankind who contracts the great rules of life into short sentences, that may be easily impressed on the memory, and so recur habitually to the mind.
-- Samuel Johnson
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He who does not mind his belly will hardly will hardly mind anything else.
-- Samuel Johnson
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He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.
-- Samuel Johnson
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He who praises everybody, praises nobody.
-- Samuel Johnson
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I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson
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If a man does not make new acquaintances, as he advances through life, he soon will find himself alone. A man should keep his friendship in constant repair.
-- Samuel Johnson
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In solitude we have our dreams to ourselves, and in company we agree to dream in concert.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson
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It is a most mortifying reflection for a man to consider what he has done, compared to what he might have done.
-- Samuel Johnson
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It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
-- Samuel Johnson
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It is dangerous for mortal beauty, or terrestrial virtue, to be examined by too strong a light. The torch of Truth shows much that we cannot, and all that we would not, see.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties, passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes and seeing them gratified.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.
-- Samuel Johnson
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No man ever yet became great by imitation.
-- Samuel Johnson
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No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The business of life is to go forward.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The future is purchased by the present.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The next best thing to knowing something is knowing where to find it.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The true art of memory is the art of attention.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The whole of life is but keeping away the thoughts of death.
-- Samuel Johnson
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To get a name can happen but to few; it is one of the few things that cannot be brought. It is the free gift of mankind, which must be deserved before it will be granted, and is at last unwillingly bestowed.
-- Samuel Johnson
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We are long before we are convinced that happiness is never to be found, and each believes it possessed by others, to keep alive the hope of obtaining it for himself.
-- Samuel Johnson
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What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence.
-- Samuel Johnson
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When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.
-- Samuel Johnson
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When people find a man of the most distinguished abilities as a writer their inferior while he is with them, it must be highly gratifying to them.
-- Samuel Johnson
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You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company.
-- Samuel Johnson
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Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.
-- Samuel Johnson
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The farther it gets from the bench it was worked on, the more real the real world becomes.
-- Todd Johnson
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Let your voice be heard, whether or not it is to the taste of every jack in office who may be obstructing the traffic. By all means, render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's - but this does not necessarily include everything that he says is his.
-- Denis Johnston
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Men do not invent Myths. They only invent fables, and tell lies. True Myths create themselves, and find their expression in the men who serve their purpose.
-- Denis Johnston
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Needs are a function of what other people have.
-- Jone's Principle
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
-- Jone's Law
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We grow small trying to be great.
-- E Stanley Jones
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An atheist is one hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief.
-- Franklin P Jones
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Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
-- Franklin P Jones
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Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.
-- Franklin Jones
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It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
-- Franklin P Jones
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It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
-- Franklin P Jones
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Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them.
-- Franklin P Jones
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I have not yet begun to fight!
-- John Paul Jones
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Stability is more essential to success than brilliance.
-- Richard Lloyd Jones
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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones
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Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
-- Erica Jong
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Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to nurture it in solitude and to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads.
-- Erica Jong
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I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as part of life specifically fear of change and fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says, turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far.
-- Erica Jong
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Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong
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Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!
-- Ben Jonson
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They that know no evil will suspect none.
-- Ben Jonson
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When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!
-- David Starr Jordan
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Nature does not loathe virtue: it is unaware of its existence.
-- Francoise Mallet-Joris
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And when the book of Daniel was showed to him (Alexander the Great) wherein Daniel declared that one of the Greeks should destroy the empire of the Persians, he supposed that himself was the person intended.
-- Flavious Josephus
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He who has not the weakness of friendship has not the strength.
-- Joubert
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If authorities were well organized, there would not be an Unknown Warrior.
-- Joseph Joubert
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Imagination is the eye of the soul.
-- Joseph Joubert
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It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.
-- Jeseph Joubert
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Kindness consists of loving people more than they deserve.
-- Joseph Joubert
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Space is the statue of God.
-- Joubert
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To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert
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The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.
-- Benjamin Jowett
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To teach a man how he may learn to grow independently, and for himself, is perhaps the greatest service that one man can do another.
-- Benjamin Jowett
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We've got a big intellectual investment in this sort of moving cloud of capability that [Unix] has.
-- William N Joy
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All Moanday, Tearday, Wailsday, Thumpsday, Frightday, Shatterday.
-- Joyce
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Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James
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Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not God Himself.
-- Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo
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Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius, III
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An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.
-- Carl Gustav Jung
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As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
-- Carl Gustave Jung
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Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung
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Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.
-- C G Jung
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I do not believe... I know.
-- Carl Jung
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Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood.
-- Carl Gustav Jung
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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
-- C G Jung
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There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.
-- Carl Gustav Jung
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We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
-- C G Jung
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It is the coward who fawns upon those above him. It is the coward who is insolent whenever he dares be so.
-- Junius
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I'll never be considered one of the all-time greats; maybe not even one of the all-time goods. But I'm one of the all-time survivors.
-- Jim Kaat
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In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
-- Franz Kafka
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Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
-- Henry Kaiser
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Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of imagination.
-- Immanuel Kant
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It is impossible to prove God through any normal means.
-- Immanuel Kant
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Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
-- Immanuel Kant
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The busier we are, the more acutely we feel that we live, the more conscious we are of life.
-- Immanuel Kant
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If you can remember anything about the sixties, you weren't really there.
-- Paul Kantner
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Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
-- Abraham Kaplan
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Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol
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If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr
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The more things change, the more they are the same.
-- Alphonse Karr
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Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
-- Katz's Law
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The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman
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Faith means intense, usually confident, belief that is not based on evidence sufficient to command assent from every reasonable person.
-- Walter Kaufmann
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Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take.
-- Lothar Kaul
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One of the greatest failings in people is the inability to imagine motives in another which one does not find in oneself.
-- Lothar Kaul
%%
A crash is when your competitor's program dies. When your program dies, it is an 'idiosyncrasy'. Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like 'ID 02'. 'ID' is an abbreviation for idiosyncrasy and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had.
-- Guy Kawasaki
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Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki
%%
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
-- Alan Kay
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Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it.
-- Danny Kaye
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The doors of heaven and hell are adjacent and identical.
-- Nikos Kazantzakis
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You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one.
-- Edward Keating
%%
It's great to be young and insane.
-- Michael Keaton
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A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
-- Keats
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Beauty is truth, truth beauty; that is all Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know.
-- John Keats
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I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections, and the truth of imagination.
-- John Keats
%%
I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.
-- John Keats
%%
Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced even a proverb is no proverb to you till your life has illustrated it.
-- John Keats
%%
Real are the dreams of Gods.
-- Keats
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All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.
-- Helen Keller
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As selfishness and complaint pervert and cloud the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision.
-- Helen Keller
%%
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
-- Helen Keller
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Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
-- Helen Keller
%%
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-- Hellen Keller
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Do not think of to-day's failures, but of the success that may come to-morrow .... Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. Sometime, somewhere, somehow we shall find that which we seek.
-- Helen Keller
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Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
-- Helen Keller
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I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
-- Helen Keller
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I thank God for my handicaps, for through them, I have found myself, my work and my God.
-- Helen Keller
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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller
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Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.
-- Helen Keller
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Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller
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Most people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller
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No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is, he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
-- Helen Keller
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No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
-- Helen Keller
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One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
-- Helen Keller
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Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all- the apathy of human beings.
-- Helen Keller
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That the sky is brighter than the earth means little unless the earth itself is appreciated and enjoyed.
-- Helen Keller
%%
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
-- Helen Keller
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The best way out is always through.
-- Helen Keller
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The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
-- Helen Keller
%%
The highest result of education is tolerance.
-- Helen Keller
%%
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.
-- Helen Keller
%%
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
-- Helen Keller
%%
To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug.
-- Helen Keller
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We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough.
-- Helen Keller
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We, the people, are not free. Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does that mean? We choose between Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
-- Helen Keller
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When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
-- Helen Keller
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When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
-- Helen Keller
%%
You ask for votes for women. What good can votes do when ten-elevenths of the land of Great Britain belongs to 200,000 and only one-eleventh to the rest of the 40,000,000? Have your men with their millions of votes freed themselves from this injustice?
-- Helen Keller
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Such is life.
-- Last words of Ned Kelly, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol
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Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly
%%
Man proposes, but God disposes.
-- Thomas Kempis
%%
Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world]
-- Thomas Kempis
%%
If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches.
-- Carolyn Kenmore
%%
Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that we're able to- to share the time and the relationship that we- that we do share.
-- US Senator Edward Kennedy, trying to answer the question "What is the present state of your marriage?"
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The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back on at the end of life and number as their most sacred experiences.
-- Eugene Kennedy
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A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers - and this is the basis of all human morality.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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But peace does not rest in the charters and covenants alone. It lies in the hearts and minds of all people. So let us not rest all our hopes on parchment and on paper, let us strive to build peace, a desire for peace, a willingness to work for peace in the hearts and minds of all of our people. I believe that we can. I believe the problems of human destiny are not beyond the reach of human beings.
-- John F Kennedy
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Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics but for our contributions to the human spirit.
-- John F Kennedy
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I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or the people who might elect him.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
%%
If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution inevitable.
-- John F Kennedy
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Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans ... born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.
-- John F Kennedy
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Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
%%
My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government ... he promised Dad he'd go straight.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
%%
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. The human mind is our fundamental resource.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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The problems of the world cannot possible be solved by sceptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods. This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
%%
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.
-- John F Kennedy
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We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world or to make it the last.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
%%
When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters... one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.
-- John F Kennedy
%%
The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time.
-- Leo Kennedy
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Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total ;of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.
-- Robert F Kennedy
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If any man claims the Negro should be content ... let him say he would willingly change the colour of his skin and go to live in the Negro section of a large city. Then and only then has he a right to such a claim.
-- Robert Francis Kennedy
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Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
-- Robert Francis Kennedy
%%
Some men see things as they are and ask, "why?" I dream things that never were and ask, "why not?"
-- Robert Francis Kennedy
%%
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy
%%
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes.
-- Robert Francis Kennedy
%%
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, on her 100th birthday
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He who angers you conquers you.
-- Elizabeth Kenny
%%
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
-- Jean Kerr
%%
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Kerr
%%
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
-- Jean Kerr
%%
Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
-- Walter Kerr
%%
People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense.
-- Ken Kesey
%%
Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
-- Ken Kesey
%%
A man must have a certain amount of intelligent ignorance to get anywhere with progressive things.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
An inventor is simply a person who doesn't take his education too seriously. He tries and fails maybe a 1000 times. If he succeeds once then he's in.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
I don't want men of experience working for me. The experienced man is always telling me why something can't be done. The fellow who has not had any experience is so dumb he doesn't know a thing can't be done - and he goes ahead and does it.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
-- Charles Kettering
%%
People are very open-minded about new things ... as long as they're exactly like the old ones.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
The biggest job we have is to teach a newly hired employee how to fail intelligently. We have to train him to experiment over and over and to keep on trying and failing until he learns what will work.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
There is a great difference between knowing and understanding: you can know a lot about something and not really understand it.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
Virtually nothing comes out right the first time. Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. The only time you don't fail is the last time you try something, and it works. One fails forward toward success.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
We have a lot of people revolutionizing the world because they've never had to present a working model.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
Whenever you look at a piece of work and you think the fellow was crazy, then you want to pay some attention to that. One of you is likely to be, and you better find out which one it is. It makes an awful lot of difference.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.
-- Charles F Kettering
%%
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
-- Ketterling's Law
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In the long run we are all dead.
-- John Maynard Keynes
%%
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.
-- Ken S Keynes, Jr
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A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.
-- Ken Keys
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If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.
-- Haythum R Khalid
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If you want to commit suicide you can use my razor; it's electric, but you can hang yourself with the cord.
-- Haythum R Khalid
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Oh people, know that you have committed great sins. If you ask me what proof I have for these words, I say it is because I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you!
-- Genghis Khan
%%
The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on...
-- Omar Khayyam
%%
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.
-- Nikita Khruschev
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Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
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People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.
-- Kierkegaard
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To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
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Without risk there is no faith. Faith is precisely the contradiction between the infinite passion of the individual's inwardness and the objective uncertainty. If I am capable of grasping God objectively, I do not believe, but precisely because I cannot do this I must believe. If I wish to preserve myself in faith I must constantly be intent upon holding fast the objective uncertainty, so as to remain out upon the deep, over seventy thousand fathoms of water, still preserving my faith.
-- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
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I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree.
-- Joyce Kilmer
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Nowhere to fall but off; Nowhere to stand but on.
-- Benjamin King
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A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full of grace. a soul generated by love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Hatred paralyses life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
%%
I have a dream that one day ... the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today!
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law ... That would lead to anarchy. An individual who breaks a law that his conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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One of the greatest casualties of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society ... shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharthis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
%%
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
%%
We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering with our capacity to endure suffering. Do to us what you will and we shall continue to love you.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
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When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr
%%
Fiction is the truth inside the lie.
-- Stephen King
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The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window.
-- Stephen King
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Do lovely things, not dream them, all day long.
-- Kingsley
%%
To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its programmer.
-- Morris Kingston
%%
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison
%%
Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbours.
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
He wrapped himself in quotations as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.
-- Rudyard Kipling
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I always prefer to believe the best of everybody -it saves so much trouble.
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
I gloat! Hear me gloat!
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who.
-- Rudyard Kipling
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If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
Never praise a sister to a sister in the hope of your compliments reaching the proper ears.
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
On the road to Mandalay Where the flyin' fishes play, An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the bay.
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
The mad are all in God's keeping.
-- Kipling
%%
We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
-- Rudyard Kipling
%%
Nature gave man two ends one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R Kirkpatrick
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
-- Henry Kissinger
%%
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
-- Henry Kissinger
%%
The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.
-- Henry Kissinger
%%
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
-- Henry Kissinger
%%
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger
%%
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman
%%
If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?
-- Marvin Kitman
%%
Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.
-- Kitman's Law
%%
Genuinely skilful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet.
-- Karl Kleinpaste
%%
Love to eat them mousies Mousie's what I love to eat. Bite they little heads off Nibble on they tiny feet.
-- B Kliban
%%
All warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.
-- Klipstein's Lament
%%
Any product cut to length will be too short.
-- Klipstein's Observation
%%
The will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win.
-- Bobby Knight
%%
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A Knopf
%%
Faith is often the boast of the man who is too lazy to investigate.
-- F M Knowles
%%
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F M Knowles
%%
... an animal loses not only its life but also its third dimension.
-- Roger M Knutson
%%
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
-- Arthur Koestler
%%
You know, sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss.
-- Susanne Kollrack
%%
The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own.
-- Michael Konda
%%
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
-- Willem de Kooning
%%
An ounce of hypocricy is worth a pound of ambition.
-- Michael Korda
%%
Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility... in the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have... is the ability to take on responsibility.
-- Michael Korda
%%
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.
-- Korman's conclusion
%%
My heart that was rapt away by the wild cherry blossoms ... will it return to my body when they scatter?
-- Kotomichi
%%
Television: a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
%%
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
-- Jonathan Kozol
%%
In the world of human thought generally, and in physical science particularly, the most important and fruitful concepts are those to which it is impossible to attach a well-defined meaning.
-- H A Kramers
%%
Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust.
-- Karl Kraus
%%
He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent.
-- Karl Kraus
%%
Life is an effort that deserves a better cause.
-- Karl Kraus
%%
Satan the envious said with a sigh: Christians know more about their hell than I.
-- Alfred Kreymborg
%%
Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.
-- J Krishnamurti
%%
The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
-- J Krishnamurti
%%
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions, it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
-- Irving Kristol
%%
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
-- Kronecker
%%
A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.
-- Krueger's Observation
%%
When a man wantonly destroys one of the works of man we call him a vandal. When he destroys one of the works of God we call him a sportsman.
-- Joseph Wood Krutch
%%
It's not peace I want, not mere contentment. It's boundless joy and ecstasy for me.
-- Kugell
%%
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec
%%
This is New York, and there's no law against being annoying.
-- Lawyer William Kunstler
%%
Information Superhighway is really an acronym for 'Interactive Network For Organizing, Retrieving, Manipulating, Accessing And Transferring Information On National Systems, Unleashing Practically Every Rebellious Human Intelligence, Gratifying Hackers, Wiseacres, And Yahoos'.
-- Keven Kwaku
%%
The quintessential revolution is that of the spirit, born of an intellectual conviction of the need for change in those mental attitudes and values which shape the course of a nation's development. A revolution which aims merely at changing official policies and institutions with a view to an improvement in material conditions has little chance of genuine success. Without a revolution in spirit, the forces which had produced inequities of the old order would continue to be operative, posing a constant threat to the process of reform and regeneration. It is not enough merely to call for freedom, democracy and human rights. There has to be a united determination to persevere in the struggle, to make sacrifices in the name of enduring truths, to resist the corrupting influences of desire, ill will, ignorance, and fear.
-- Aung San Suu Kyi
%%
There will come a time when you think everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
-- Louis L'Amour
%%
Real excellence and humility are not incompatible one with the other, on the contrary they are twin sisters.
-- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
%%
The affections are like lightning: you cannot tell where they will strike till they have fallen.
-- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
%%
We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.
-- R D Laing
%%
I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have the party, but no one expects you to say very much."
-- National security advisor Anthony Lake
%%
If you can't help, at least don't hurt others.
-- HH Dalai Lama
%%
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend or a meaningful day.
-- The Dalai Lama
%%
There isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate compassion.
-- Dalai Lama
%%
There's a little Buddha in all of us.
-- HH The Dalai Lama
%%
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
-- Dalai Lama
%%
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
-- Lady Caroline Lamb
%%
A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.
-- Charles Lamb
%%
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb
%%
She unbent her mind afterwards - over a book.
-- Charles Lamb
%%
The lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him.
-- Lamentations, 3:25
%%
No one has the right to destroy another person's belief by demanding empirical evidence.
-- Ann Landers
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Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
-- Ann Landers
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In the morning when we rise from bed, although surprised to find ourselves still alive, we are even more amazed to find everything just as we left it the night before.
-- Tommaso Landolfi
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Levity is the soul of wit.
-- Melville D Landon
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Truth is a point, the subtlest and finest; harder than adamant; never to be broken, worn away or blunted. Its only bad quality is, that it is sure to hurt those who touch it; and likely to draw blood, perhaps the life blood of those who press earnestly upon it.
-- Walter Savage Landor
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Insanity ... a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
-- R D Lang
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A family budget is a process of checks and balances; the cheques wipe out the balances.
-- Arthur Langer
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If things were left to chance, they'd be better.
-- Langin's Law
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Music is Love in search of a word.
-- Sidney Lanier
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Most people are not interested in understanding religion, they are interested in devoting themselves to religion.
-- Douglas Klovedal Lannark
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If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
-- Bert Lantz
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I have lived long enough to know what I did not at one time believe that no society can be upheld in happiness and honour without the sentiment of religion.
-- Laplace
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Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
-- Pierre Laplace, to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God
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The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.
-- Ring Lardner
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You could eat off of this Birkenstock!
-- Scott Larsen
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing pole.
-- Doug Larson
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The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
-- Doug Larson
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The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
-- Doug Larson
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By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect "Hungry."
-- Gary Larson
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Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
-- Jonathan Larson
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After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted.
-- de la Lastra's Corollary
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It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been always thus.
-- Dean Lattimer
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Keep right on to the end of the road.
-- Sir Harry Lauder
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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
-- Matt Lauer
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Depend on no man, on no friend, but him who can depend on himself. He only who acts conscientiously towards himself will act so towards others, and vice versa.
-- Lavater
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Who purposely cheats his friend, would cheat his God.
-- Lavater
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There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts.
-- Christine Lavin
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The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
-- Lynn Lavner
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The art of drawing conclusions from experiments and observations consists in evaluating probabilities and in estimating whether they are sufficiently great or numerous enough to constitute proofs. This kind of calculation is more complicated and more dif.
-- Antoine Lavoisier
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Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law
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Be A good animal. True to your extincts.
-- D H Lawrence
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But then peace, peace! I am so mistrustful of it: so much afraid that it means a sort of weakness and giving in.
-- D H Lawrence
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I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like a black mistake.
-- D H Lawrence
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Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D H Lawrence
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One watches them on the seashore, all the people, and there is something pathetic, almost wistful in them, as if they wished their lives did not add up to this scaly nullity of possession, but as if they could not escape. It is a dragon that has devoured us all: these obscene, scaly houses, this insatiable struggle and desire to possess, to possess always and in spite of everything, this need to be an owner, lest one be owned. It is too hideous and nauseating. Owners and owned, they are like the two sides of a ghastly disease. One feels a sort of madness come over one, as if the world had become hell. But it is only superimposed: it is only a temporary disease. It can be cleaned away.
-- David Herbert Lawrence
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Men! The only animal in the world to fear.
-- D H Lawrence
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Sex and beauty are inseparable, like life and consciousness. And the intelligence which goes with sex and beauty, and arises out of sex and beauty, is intuition.
-- David Herbert Lawrence
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Try to find your deepest issue in every confusion, and abide by that.
-- D H Lawrence
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All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.
-- Thomas Edward Lawrence
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... it is predictable, but I wouldn't like to predict it myself.
-- C Lawson
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There is a time in the tides of men, Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success. On the other hand, don't count on it.
-- T K Lawson
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Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock
%%
He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
-- Stephen Leacock
%%
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
-- Stephen Leacock
%%
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
-- Stephen Butler Leacock
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Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock
%%
It's a fact the whole world knows; That Pobbles are happier without their toes.
-- Edward Lear
%%
Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralysed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.
-- Denis Leary
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Civilization is unbearable, but it is less unbearable at the top.
-- Timothy Leary
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People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts.
-- Robert Keith Leavitt
%%
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.
-- Fran Lebowitz
%%
He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J Lec
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Intelligence, in diapers, is invisible. And when it matures, out the window it flies. We have to pounce on it earlier.
-- Stanislaw J Lec
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Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork?
-- Stanislaw J Lec
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People find life entirely too time consuming.
-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
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The window to the world can be covered by a newspaper.
-- Stanislaw Lec
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Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J Lec
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What a pity that the only way to heaven is in a hearse!
-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
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You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J Lec
%%
There is no wild beast so ferocious as Christians who differ concerning their faith.
-- W E H Lecky
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Physics isn't a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
-- Leon Lederman
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If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.
-- Geddy Lee
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Ten bucks is ten bucks.
-- Geddy Lee
%%
What happened to our innocence? Did it go out of style? Along with our naivete... no longer a child.
-- Geddy Lee
%%
She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.
-- Gypsy Rose Lee
%%
It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it.
-- Robert E Lee
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Everyone wants to be Cary Grant... I want to be Cary Grant.
-- Archibald Leech
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To hell with the U.S. Constitution.
-- Father Bernard Leeming
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Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it.
-- Mark Leeper
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That which yesterday was reviled today becomes cultural consumer-goods, consumption thus engulfs what was intended to give meaning and direction.
-- H Lefebvre
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It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
-- Ursula K LeGuin
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What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
-- Ursula Kroeber LeGuin
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You can't crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them.
-- Ursula Kroeber LeGuin
%%
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- Secretary of the Navy John Lehman
%%
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer
%%
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer
%%
It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.
-- Tom Lehrer
%%
To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.
-- Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz
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I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer
%%
New York: the only city where people make radio requests like "This is for Tina ... I'm sorry I stabbed you."
-- Carol Leifer
%%
Dream is not a revelation. If a dream affords the dreamer some light on himself, it is not the person with closed eyes who makes the discovery but the person with open eyes lucid enough to fit thoughts together. Dream- a scintillating mirage surrounded by shadows- is essentially poetry.
-- Michel Leiris
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Stay humble. Always answer your phone - no matter who else is in the car.
-- Jack Lemmon
%%
It is true that liberty is precious, so precious that it must be rationed.
-- Nikolai Lenin
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Can a nation be free if it oppresses other nations? It cannot.
-- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
%%
A lie told often enough becomes truth.
-- Vladimir Ulyanov Lenin
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Fascism is capitalism in decay.
-- Vladimir Ulyanov Lenin
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
-- John Lennon
%%
If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or my music, then in that respect you can call me that.... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
-- John Lennon
%%
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
-- John Lennon
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Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
-- John Lennon
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Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death.
-- Annie Lennox
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I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno
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A state from which religion is banished can never be well regulated.
-- Leo, XIII
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I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
-- Art Leo
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I try to leave out the parts that people skip.
-- Elmore Leonard
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The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard
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Science fiction is to the totalitarian state what Aesop's fables were to the institution of slavery in the sixth century B.C. It is, of course, subversive. By taking ideas too seriously, it ridicules people. But it depends, for its subversive power, on people who are smart enough to be afraid of laughter. Modern history, especially as it expresses itself in the totalitarian hockey puck, has an excess of almost everything except a genuine appreciation of the ludicrous.
-- John Leonard
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The rich are different from you and me because they have more credit.
-- John Leonard
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Life is too serious to be taken seriously.
-- Mike Leonard
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are in fact, barely presentable.
-- Fran Leowitz
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Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie
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A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes.
-- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
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Laughter is by definition healthy.
-- Lessing
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Science when well digested is nothing but good sense and reason.
-- Stanislaw I Leszczynski
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Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
-- David Letterman
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Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
-- David Letterman
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Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman
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For the love of God, folks, don't do this at home.
-- David Letterman, demonstrating the Donut-o-pult
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People who live in New York hate the rain, because I know from experience, it's hard to hold an umbrella while you are urinating.
-- David Letterman
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Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig
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A pun is the lowest form of humour when you don't think of it first.
-- Oscar Levant
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Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
-- Oscar Levant
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Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee
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I envy people who drink ... at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant
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So little time, so little to do.
-- Oscar Levant
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There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
-- Oscar Levant
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Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.
-- Sam Levenson
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Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein
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The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
-- Roger Levian
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Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine
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Only God can make a random selection.
-- Marion J Levy, Jr
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To have a sense of humour is to be a tragic figure.
-- Marion J Levy, Jr
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If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.
-- Kurt Lewin
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In a democratic society where the economic motive is strong, it is extremely difficult to give up short-term economic benefits for a long-term reason.
-- Anthony Lewis
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A woman means by Unselfishness chiefly taking trouble for others; a man means not giving trouble to others... Thus while the woman thinks of doing good offices and the man of respecting other people's rights, each sex, without any obvious unreason, can and does regard the other as radically selfish.
-- C S Lewis
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Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.
-- C S Lewis
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If all men stood talking of their rights before they went up a mast or down a sewer or stoked a furnace or joined an army, we should all perish; nor while they talked of their rights would they learn to do these things... The man preoccupied with his own rights is not only a disastrous, but a very unlovely object; indeed, one of the worst mischiefs we do by treating a man unjustly is that we force him to be thus preoccupied.
-- C S Lewis
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Language exists to communicate whatever it can communicate. Some things it communicates so badly that we never attempt to communicate them by words if any other medium is available.
-- C S Lewis
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Mere change is not growth. Growth is the synthesis of change and continuity, and where there is no continuity there is no growth.
-- C S Lewis
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One of the most important and effective uses of language is the emotional. It is also, of course, wholly legitimate. We do not talk only in order to reason or to inform. We have to make love and quarrel, to propitiate and pardon, to rebuke, console, intercede, and arouse. "He that complains," said Johnson, "acts like a man, like a social being." The real objection lies not against the language of emotion as such, but against language which, being in reality emotional, masquerades... whether by plain hypocrisy or subtler self-deceit... as being something else.
-- C S Lewis
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Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey 'people.' People say different things: so do instincts. Our instincts are at war.... Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of the rest....
-- C S Lewis
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The surest means of disarming an anger or a lust was to turn your attention from the girl or the insult and start examining the passion itself. The surest way of spoiling a pleasure was to start examining your satisfaction. But if so, it followed that all introspection is in one respect misleading. In introspection we try to look "inside ourselves" and to see what is going on. But nearly everything that was going on a moment before is stopped by the act of our turning to look at it. Unfortunately this does not mean that introspection finds nothing. On the contrary, it finds precisely what is left behind by the suspension of all our normal activities; and what is left behind by is mainly mental images and physical sensations. The great error is to mistake this mere sediment or tract or by-product for the activities themselves. That is how men may come to believe that thought is only unspoken words, or the appreciation of poetry only a collection of mental pictures, when these in reality are what the thought or the appreciation, when interrupted, leave behind... like the swell at sea, working after the wind has dropped. Not, of course, that these activities, before we stopped them by introspection, were unconscious. We do not love, fear, or think without knowing it. Instead of the twofold division into Conscious and Unconscious we need a threefold division: the Unconscious, the Enjoyed, and the Contemplated.
-- C S Lewis
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The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the cross-section of humanity whom one has to meet every day. In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who "happen to be there." Made for us? Thank God, no. They are themselves odder than you could have believed and worth more than you had guessed.
-- C S Lewis
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Those who are enjoying something, or suffering something together, are companions. Those who enjoy or suffer one another, are not.
-- C S Lewis
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We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
-- C S Lewis
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We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful.
-- C S Lewis
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When two people achieve lasting happiness, this is not solely because they are great lovers but because they are also... I must put it crudely... good people; controlled, loyal, fairminded, mutually adaptable people.
-- C S Lewis
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You ask whether I have ever been in love: fool as I am, I am not such a fool as that. But if one is only to talk from first-hand experience, conversation would be a very poor business. But though I have no personal experience of the things they call love, I have what is better - the experience of Sappho, of Euripides, of Catallus, of Shakespeare, of Spenser, of Austen, of Bronte, of anyone else I have read.
-- C S Lewis
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The speed of time is one second per second.
-- Kip Lewis
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Sadistic excess attempts to reach roughly and by harshness what art reaches by fineness.
-- Percy Wynham Lewis
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The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- W M Lewis
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I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.
-- G C Lichtenberg
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Probably no invention came more easily to man than when he thought up heaven.
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
-- A J Liebling
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The function of the press in society is to inform, but its role in society is to make money.
-- A J Liebling
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In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
-- John Lilly
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Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.
-- William Lilly
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Armies are paid to kill people and break things.
-- Rush Limbaugh
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Dependency is not born it is created.
-- Rush Limbaugh
%%
You must have the courage to believe the truth.
-- Rush Limbaugh
%%
We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses.
-- Bonnie Lin
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... people who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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A woman is the only thing that I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?
-- Abraham Lincoln
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And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, on the issue of slavery
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I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
I have no purpose, directly or indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists. I believe I have no lawful right to do so, and I have no inclination to do so.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country.... Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavour to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favour of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races - that I am not, nor ever have been in favour of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. You may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
-- Abraham Lincoln
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It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
It's better to be silent and thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us to the end dare to do our duty as we understand it.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and, hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The best way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Upon the subject of education, not presuming to dictate any plan or system respecting it, I can only say that I view it as the most important subject which we as a people may be engaged in. That everyone may receive at least a moderate education appears to be an objective of vital importance.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried against the new and untried?
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us finish the work we are in.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
With the catching end the pleasures of the chase.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
-- Abraham Lincoln
%%
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
%%
Only with winter-patience can we bring The deep-desired, long-awaited spring.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
%%
The intellectual is constantly betrayed by his vanity. Godlike he blandly assumes that he can express everything in words; whereas the things one loves, lives, and dies for are not, in the last analysis completely expressible in words.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
%%
To a person in love, the value of the individual is intuitively known. Love needs no logic for its mission.
-- Charles A Lindbergh
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Abroad in the world today is a monstrous falsehood, a consummate fabrication, to which all social agencies have loaned themselves and into which most men, women, and children have been seduced... "the Eleventh Commandment"; for such, indeed, has become the injunction: You Must Adjust.
-- Robert M Lindner
%%
It's not hard to tell we was poor... when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
-- George Lindsey
%%
The little things are most worthwhile - quiet word, a look, a smile.
-- Margaret Lindsey
%%
This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow.
-- Margaret Lindsey
%%
Ignorance is a voluntary misfortune.
-- Nicholas Ling
%%
The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.
-- Art Linkletter
%%
It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.
-- Walter Lippman
%%
The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.
-- Walter Lippmann
%%
The genius of a good leader is to leave behind him a situation which common sense, without the grace of genius, can deal with successfully.
-- Walter Lippmann
%%
Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much.
-- Walter Lippmann
%%
Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.
-- Jon Lithgow
%%
The penalty of success is to be bored by the attentions of people who formerly snubbed you.
-- M W Little
%%
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him.
-- Rich Little
%%
There is no virtue in being uncritical; nor is it a habit to which the young are given. But criticism is only the burying beetle that gets rid of what is dead, and, since the world lives by creative and constructive forces, and not by negation and destruction, it is better to grow up in the company of prophets than of critics.
-- Richard Livingstone
%%
The Aitolians, the Akarnanians, the Macedonians, men of the same language, are united or disunited by trivial causes that arise from time to time; with aliens, with barbarians, all Greeks wage and will wage eternal war; for they are enemies by the will of nature, which is eternal, and not from reasons that change from day to day.
-- Titus Livius
%%
Not many men have both good fortune and good sense.
-- Livy
%%
Truth is often eclipsed but never extinguished.
-- Livy
%%
Slow and steady wins the race.
-- Robert Lloyd
%%
... there being nothing more evident than that creatures of the same species... should be equal amongst one another without subordination or subjection...
-- John Locke
%%
Fortitude is the guard and support of the other virtues.
-- John Locke
%%
I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.
-- John Locke
%%
Where all is but dream, reasoning and arguments are of no use, truth and knowledge nothing.
-- John Locke
%%
Security for UNIX is like multitasking for MS-DOS.
-- Kevin Lockwood
%%
Though the mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small.
-- Friedrich von Logau
%%
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
Run to daylight.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
-- Vincent T Lombardi
%%
The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
Winning is not everything. It's the only thing.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.
-- Vince Lombardi
%%
Carolus V, Emperor of Rome, was wont to say that the Hispanic tongue was seemly for converse with God, the French with friends, the German with enemies, the Italian with the feminine sex.
-- Mikhail Lomonosov
%%
"Go to Hell!" or other direct insult is all the answer a snoopy question deserves.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000, by which time it will be worth nothing.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
A generation which ignores history has no past... and no future.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Always store beer in a dark place.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (He is also a fool.)
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Never appeal to a man's 'better nature;' he may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
There is no conclusive evidence of life after death, but there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know, so why fret about it?
-- Lazarus Long
%%
This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humouring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of... but do it in private and wash you hands afterwards.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
You can go wrong by being sceptical as readily as by being too trusting.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
You enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind, it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate... and quickly.
-- Lazarus Long
%%
Tax reform means, 'Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.'
-- Russell Long
%%
All the means of action - the shapeless masses - the materials - lie everywhere about us. What we need is the celestial fire to change the flint into the transparent crystal, bright and clear. That fire is genius.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Art is a revelation of man; and not merely that, but likewise the revelation of nature, speaking through man.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Believe me, every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Doubtless criticism was originally benignant, pointing out the beauties of a work rather that its defects. The passions of men have made it malignant, as a bad heart of Procrustes turned the bed, the symbol of repose, into an instrument of torture.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
It is curious to note the old sea-margins of human thought. Each subsiding century reveals some new mystery; we build where monsters used to hide themselves.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
It takes less time to do a thing right than explain why you did it wrong.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Joy, temperance, and repose, Slam the door on the doctor's nose.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Know how sublime a thing is to suffer and be strong.
-- Henry W Longfellow
%%
Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. In is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Love gives itself; it is not bought.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Music is the universal language of mankind ... poetry their universal pastime and delight.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Nature is a revelation of God; Art a revelation of man.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
No man is so poor as to have nothing worth giving.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Sit in reverie and watch the changing colour of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Something attempted, something done, Has earned a nights repose.
-- Henry W Longfellow
%%
Sometimes we may learn more from a man's errors, than from his virtues.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream! For the soul is dead that slumbers, and things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art; to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
The greatest firmness is the greatest mercy.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
The nearer the dawn the darker the night.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
The shades of night were falling fast, As though an Alpine village passed A youth, who bore, 'mid snow and ice, A banner with the strange device, Excelsior! His brow was sad; his eye beneath, Flashed like a falchion from its sheath, And like a silver clarion rung The accents of that unknown tongue, Excelsior!
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Thought takes man out of servitude, into freedom.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
Well has it been said that there is no grief like the grief which does not speak.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
You know I say just what I think, and nothing more and less. I cannot say one thing and mean another.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
%%
You would attain to the divine perfection....
-- Henry W Longfellow
%%
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
-- A R Longworth
%%
If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
%%
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
%%
The arts are an even better barometer of what is happening in our world than the stock market or the debates in congress.
-- Hendrik Willem Van Loon
%%
It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
-- Trini Lopez
%%
Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief she is beautiful.
-- Sophia Loren
%%
Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
-- Sophia Loren
%%
Every man gets a narrower and narrower field of knowledge in which he must be an expert in order to compete with other people. The specialist knows more and more about less and less and finally knows everything about nothing.
-- Konrad Lorenz
%%
Truth in science can be defined as the working hypothesis best suited to open the way to the next better one.
-- Konrad Lorenz
%%
The average person thinks he isn't.
-- Father Larry Lorenzoni
%%
When the house is on fire, one cannot occupy oneself with the stables.
-- King Louis, XV
%%
An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes
%%
I don't really miss God, but I sure miss santa claus!
-- Courtney Love
%%
The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
-- H P Lovecraft
%%
Houston, we have a problem.
-- Jim Lovell, Apollo 13
%%
It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, upon marrying Julia Roberts
%%
If Jesus is the answer, then what was the question?
-- Jeffery Jay Lowder
%%
Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.
-- Lowell
%%
It's not failure, but low aim is crime.
-- Lowell
%%
In creating, the only hard thing is to begin: a grass blade's no easier to make than an oak.
-- James Russell Lowell
%%
It is not the insurrections of ignorance that are dangerous, but the revolts of the intelligence.
-- James Russell Lowell
%%
Reputation is in itself only a farthing candle, of a wavering and uncertain flame, and easily blown out, but it is the light by which the world looks for and finds merit.
-- James Russell Lowell
%%
Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character.
-- James Russell Lowell
%%
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
-- Lowery's Law
%%
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy.
-- Henri de Lubac
%%
There's always one more bug.
-- Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology
%%
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.
-- Sir J Lubbock
%%
There are three great questions which in life we have over and over again to answer: Is it right or wrong? Is it true or false? Is it beautiful or ugly? Our education ought to help us to answer these questions.
-- John Lubbock
%%
Boldness is a mask for fear, however great.
-- Lucan
%%
One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.
-- E V Lucas
%%
There are two words for everything.
-- E V Lucas
%%
No good deed goes unpunished.
-- Clare Boothe Luce
%%
Success is that old ABC ... ability, breaks and courage.
-- Charles Luckman
%%
I decline Christianity because it is Jewish, because it is international, and because, in cowardly fashion, it preaches Peace on Earth.
-- Erich von Ludendorff
%%
We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to comfort us along the way.
-- Marlin Finch Lupus
%%
Reason should be destroyed in all Christians.
-- Martin Luther
%%
The fewer words the better prayer.
-- Martin Luther
%%
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
-- Martin Luther
%%
If a computer cable has one end, then it has another.
-- Lyall's Conjecture
%%
The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.
-- Lyall's Fundamental Observation
%%
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly
%%
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
-- Lynch's Law
%%
It's okay to take apart a roll and look at it and see the little seeds in it. But for some reason it's not okay to take apart a spleen...
-- David Lynch
%%
Everyone has the brainpower to follow the stock market. If you made it through fifth-grade math, you can do it.
-- Peter Lynch
%%
It is in games that many men discover their paradise.
-- Robert Lynd
%%
No doubt there are other important things in life besides conflict, but there are not many other things so inevitably interesting. The very saints interest us most when we think of them as engaged in a conflict with the Devil.
-- Robert Lynd
%%
There are two sorts of curiosity ... the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.
-- Robert Lynd
%%
Wisdom and knowledge decrease in inverse proportion to age.
-- William J Lynott
%%
For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster
%%
Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
%%
Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton
%%
Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny is but the phantom we invoke to silence the one and dethrone the other.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
%%
The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
%%
The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
%%
When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
%%
From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea... written in red on every beachhead form Australia to Tokyo... There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur
%%
I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur
%%
In war there is no substitute for victory.
-- General Douglas MacArthur
%%
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur
%%
There are no atheists in the foxholes of Bataan.
-- Douglas MacArthur
%%
His imagination resembles the wings of an ostrich.
-- Thomas Babington Macaulay
%%
Many politicians... are in the habit of laying it down as a self-evident proposition, that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedom. The maxim is worthy of the fool..who resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim.
-- Thomas Babington Macaulay
%%
The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.
-- Thomas B Macaulay
%%
Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful - that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes!
-- Dr Paul MacCready, Jr
%%
Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and give it back to them.
-- MacDonald's Second Law
%%
Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.
-- George MacDonald
%%
Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable.
-- John D MacDonald
%%
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
-- Ross MacDonald
%%
There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
-- Ross MacDonald
%%
Science itself, therefore, may be regarded as a minimal problem, consisting of the completest possible presentment of facts with the least possible expenditure of thought.
-- Ernst Mach
%%
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado
%%
There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another to the world.
-- Antonio Machado
%%
Art and reality are not two independent domains, external to one another, between which we can find only mechanical relationships. On the contrary, we must understand that art is something completely real, completely material.
-- Pierre Macherey
%%
A new system is a hard thing to put into place, it is opposed by those that would be disadvantaged by the new system and it receives no support from those that would benefit.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
A wise ruler ought never to keep faith when by doing so it would be against his interests.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Ambition is so powerful a passion in the human breast, that however high we reach we are never satisfied.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
In truth, there never was any remarkable lawgiver amongst any people who did not resort to divine authority, as otherwise his laws would not have been accepted by the people; for there are many good laws, the importance of which is known to be the sagacious lawgiver, but the reasons for which are not sufficiently evident to enable him to persuade others to submit to them; and therefore do wise men, for the purpose of removing this difficulty, resort to divine authority.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
It is better to be feared than loved, more prudent to be cruel than compassionate.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders in those who would gain by the new ones.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
No enterprise is more likely to succeed than one concealed from the enemy until it is ripe for execution.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order to things.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
War is a profession by which a man cannot live honourably; an employment by which the soldier, if he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
%%
Pubs make you as drunk as they can as soon as they can, and turn nasty when they succeed.
-- Colin MacInnes
%%
I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived.
-- MacIver
%%
The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal.
-- Compton MacKenzie
%%
There are two distinct sorts of what we call bashfulness; this, the awkwardness of a booby, which a few steps into the world will convert into the pertness of a coxcomb; that, a consciousness, which the most delicate feelings produce, and the most extensive knowledge cannot always remove.
-- MacKenzie
%%
Sex is hardly ever just about sex.
-- Shirley MacLaine
%%
The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine
%%
The more I travelled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.
-- Shirley MacLaine
%%
The world cannot always understand a person's profession of faith, but it can understand service.
-- Ian Maclaren
%%
The remedy in the United States is not less liberty but real liberty an end to the brutal intolerance of churchly hooligans and flag corporations and all the rest of the small but bloody despots who have made the word Americanism a synonym for coercion and legal crime.
-- Archibald MacLeish
%%
Algol was remarkable for its generality and elegance, particularly considering that it was designed by a committee.
-- Bruce J MacLennan
%%
I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod
%%
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.
-- Harold MacMillan
%%
Why would we have different races if God meant us to be alike and associate with each other?
-- Lester Maddox
%%
A popular government without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce or a tragedy, or perhaps both. Knowledge will forever govern ignorance, and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.
-- James Madison
%%
During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.
-- James Madison
%%
It is a universal truth that the loss of liberty will be charged to dangers, real or imagined, from abroad.
-- James Madison
%%
Public opinion sets bounds to every government, and is the real sovereign in every free one.
-- James Madison
%%
Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.
-- James Madison
%%
What influence in fact have Christian ecclesiastical establishments had on civil society? In many instances they have been upholding the thrones of political tyranny. In no instance have they been seen as the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wished to subvert the public liberty have found in the clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate liberty, does not need the clergy.
-- James Madison
%%
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than the animals that know nothing.
-- Maurice Maeterlinck
%%
The church says the earth is flat, when I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow of the moon upon the earth. I have more faith in a shadow that I do in the church.
-- Ferdinand Magellan
%%
The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
-- Thomas Magliozzi
%%
An object never serves the same function as its image... or its name.
-- Rene Magritte
%%
There is nought better than to be with noble souls in company.
-- Mahabharata
%%
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
-- Bill Maher
%%
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
-- Naguib Mahfouz
%%
If the facts do not conform to the theory, the facts must be disposed of.
-- Maier's Law
%%
The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.
-- Norman Mailer
%%
There was that law of life, so cruel and so just, that one must grow or else pay more for remaining the same.
-- Norman Mailer
%%
There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes and opposites, the latter demands equality.
-- Francoise d'Aubigne marquise de Maintenon
%%
Every country has the government it merits.
-- Joseph de Maistre
%%
I don't care about justice. Only about the law.
-- Mako
%%
Eight Things your computer won't do: 1) It won't save you money. 2) It won't make your organization run right. 3) It won't solve every problem. 4) It won't run itself. 5) It won't always be right. 6) It won't meet all its own needs. 7) It won't protect itself. 8) It won't become obsolete.
-- J Makower
%%
Rivers in the US are so polluted that acid rain makes them cleaner.
-- Andrew Malcolm
%%
I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.
-- Dudley Field Malone
%%
And when man faces destiny, destiny ends and man comes into his own.
-- Andre Malraux
%%
Be careful with quotations, you can damn anything.
-- Andre Malraux
%%
Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.
-- Andre Malraux
%%
To command is to serve, nothing more and nothing less.
-- Andre Malraux
%%
We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness.
-- Maxwell Maltz
%%
Life is a banquet and most poor son of a bitches are starving out there... So Live!
-- Auntie Mame
%%
It's only words... unless they're true.
-- David Mamet
%%
People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get what they want.
-- David Mamet
%%
A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.
-- Nelson Mandela
%%
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela
%%
We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.
-- Nelson Mandela
%%
Do all things with love.
-- Og Mandino
%%
Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished.
-- Og Mandino
%%
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
-- Lewis Manford
%%
In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating, stealing, getting rich, and whipping servants. But you have to shoot him in the end.
-- Herman Mankiewicz
%%
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
-- Manly's Maxim
%%
A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.
-- Thomas Mann
%%
A solitary, unused to speaking of what he sees and feels, has mental experiences which are at once more intense and less articulate than those of a gregarious man.
-- Thomas Mann
%%
It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.
-- Thomas Mann
%%
This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected-in so far as it could be a matter of conscious awareness; it took entire possession of him, and he understood, with joyous amazement, that this was for life.
-- Thomas Mann
%%
If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
-- Mickey Mantle
%%
Of what use is political liberty to those who have no bread? It is of value only to ambitious theorists and politicians.
-- Jean Paul Marat
%%
If the shoe fits, buy it.
-- Imelda Marcos
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A will finds a way.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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The greatest thing a man can do in this world is to make the most possible out of the stuff that has been given him. This is success, and there is no other.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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Whatever our creed, we feel that no good deed can by any possibility go unrewarded, no evil deed unpunished.
-- Orison Swett Marden
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God help the poor fellow who squares his life according to this.
-- Marginalia
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A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak.
-- Michael Garrett Marino
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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities.
-- Jacques Maritain
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A lovely horse is always an experience... It is an emotional experience of the kind that is spoiled by words.
-- Beryl Markham
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Africa is mystic; it is wild; it is a sweltering inferno; it is a photographer's paradise, a hunter's Valhalla, an escapist's Utopia. It is what you will, and it withstands all interpretations. It is the last vestige of a dead world or the cradle of a shiny new one. To a lot of people, as to myself, it is just 'home'. It is all these things but one thing - it is never dull.
-- Beryl Markham
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I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesterdays are buried deep. Leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished one, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance. The cloud clears as you enter it. I have learned this but, like everyone, I learned it late.
-- Beryl Markham
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Silence is never so impenetrable as when the whisper of steel on paper strives to pierce it. I sit in a labyrinth of solitude jabbing at its bulwarks with the point of a pen, jabbing, jabbing.
-- Beryl Markham
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We spent that night in Paris, and on the afternoon of the next day [we] sat at the Mayfair in London surrounded by all the comforting accessories to civilization - and drank a toast to Africa because we knew Africa was gone. Blix would see it again and so should I one day. And still it was gone. Seeing it again would not be living it again. You can always rediscover an old path and wander over it, but the best you can do then is to say, 'Ah, yes, I know this is turning!' -or remind yourself that, while you remember that unforgettable valley, that valley no longer remembers you.
-- Beryl Markham
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You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself. You learn to watch yourself because you strive against loneliness. If you read a book, or shuffle a deck of cards, or care for a dog, you are avoiding yourself. The abhorrence of loneliness is as natural as wanting to live at all. If it were otherwise, men would never have bothered to make an alphabet, nor to have fashioned words out of what were only animal sounds, nor to have crossed continents, each man to see what the other looked like. Being alone in an aeroplane for even so short a time as a night and a day, irrevocably alone, with nothing to observe but your instruments and your own hands in semi-darkness, nothing to contemplate but the size of your small courage, nothing to wonder about but the beliefs, the faces, and the hopes rooted in your mind, such an experience can be as startling as the first awareness of a stranger walking by your side as night. You are the stranger.
-- Beryl Markham
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Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?
-- Christopher Marlowe
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He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
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No creo en Dios, pero le tengo miedo. (I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of Him.)
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
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I would rather start a family than finish one.
-- Don Marquis
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Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.
-- Don Marquis
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It is better to be happy for a moment and be burned up with beauty than to live a long time and be bored all the while.
-- Don Marquis
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Man cannot be uplifted; he must be seduced into virtue.
-- Don Marquis
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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
-- Don Marquis
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Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
-- Don Marquis
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Some persons are likeable in spite of their unswerving integrity.
-- Don Marquis
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The successful people are the ones who can think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
-- Don Marquis
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It is better to fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than to succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail.
-- Peter Marshall
%%
Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens ... and then everybody disagrees.
-- Boris Marshalov
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Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Marston
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Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston
%%
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin
%%
If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.
-- Author Judith Martin
%%
And remember, a day without sunshine is like... night!
-- Steve Martin
%%
I don't know what I'd believe in if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
-- Steve Martin
%%
It's not what you know, it's what you think you know.
-- Steve Martin
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Some people have a way with words and some people... no have way, I guess.
-- Steve Martin
%%
There's someone out there for everyone -even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
-- Steve Martin
%%
These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.
-- Steve Martin
%%
Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.
-- Bruce Marton
%%
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
-- Groucho Marx
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Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
-- Groucho Marx
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
Hello, I must be going...
-- Groucho Marx
%%
I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
I don't care to belong to any organization that accepts me as a member.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx
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I never forget a face. However, in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx
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If the income tax is the price we have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
-- Groucho Marx
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know.
-- Groucho Marx
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Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx
%%
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
-- Groucho Marx
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Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx
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We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx
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Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx
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Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.
-- Karl Marx
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Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
-- Karl Marx
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From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.
-- Karl Marx
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Last words of Karl Marx, to his housekeeper
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I am not a Marxist.
-- Karl Marx
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In the domain of political economy, free scientific inquiry does not merely meet the same enemies as in all other domains. The peculiar nature of the material it deals with summons to the fray on the opposing side the most violent, sordid and malignant passions of the human breast, the Furies of private interest. The Established church, for instance, will more readily pardon an attack on thirty-eight of its thirty-nine articles than on one thirty-ninth of its income.
-- Karl Marx
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Religion is the soul of soulless conditions, the heart of a heartless world, the opium of the people.
-- Karl Marx
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The capitalist system carried within itself the seeds of its own destruction.
-- Karl Marx
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The philosophers have only interpreted the world; the thing, however, is to change it.
-- Karl Marx
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The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.
-- Karl Marx
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I must down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky, and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.
-- John Masefield
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To the man who only has a hammer in the toolkit, every problem looks like a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow
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We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions, callings.
-- Abraham Maslow
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason
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Cross-examination is like prospecting. When you hit a vein that looks promising, you dig until you strike gold.
-- Perry Mason
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Time's gradual touch has moulder'd into beauty many a tower which when it frown'd with all its battlements, was only terrible.
-- Mason
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No brain is stronger than its weakest think.
-- Thomas L Masson
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Follow me if I advance, kill me if I retreat, avenge me if I die.
-- Mary Matalin
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If the people are to be the governors, who then shall be the governed?
-- Cotton Mather
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We conquer not in any brilliant fashion we conquer by continuing.
-- George Matheson
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You are right on target when you say that mad scientists have a total disregard for the wellbeing of others. We don't want to spread evil; we just see no point in bothering to spread good.
-- Richard M Mathews
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Time extracts various values from a painter's work. When these values are exhausted the pictures are forgotten, and the more a picture has to give, the greater it is.
-- Henri Matisse
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And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
-- Matthew, 8:21-22
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For many are called, but few are chosen.
-- Matthew, 22:14
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Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.
-- Matthew, 6:34
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Beware of the physician who is great at getting out of trouble.
-- Matz's warning
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Art for art's sake makes no more sense than gin for gin's sake.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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Impropriety is the soul of wit.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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It is funny about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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It is salutary to train oneself to be no more affected by censure than by praise.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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Man has always sacrificed truth to his vanity, comfort and advantage. He lives by make-believe.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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No affectation of peculiarity can conceal a commonplace mind.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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To write simply is as difficult as to be good.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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When I was young I had an elderly friend who used often to ask me to stay with him in the country. He was a religious man and he read prayers to the assembled household every morning. But he had crossed out in pencil all the passages that praised God. He said that there was nothing so vulgar as to praise people to their faces and, himself a gentleman, he could not believe that God was so ungentlemanly as to like it.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they thought it would take too long.
-- William Somerset Maugham
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When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
-- W Somerset Maugham
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You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.
-- M Somerset Maugham
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In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- Andre Maurois
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The most important quality in a leader is that of being acknowledged as such. All leaders whose fitness is questioned are clearly lacking in force.
-- Andre Maurois
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Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeprody I would never had lit one.
-- Maxim, of the Hells Angels
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I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about.
-- Former Candian Minister of Finance Don Mazankowski
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It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
-- William G McAdoo
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The harder you work, the luckier you get.
-- McAlexander
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A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
-- Peter McArthur
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Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves.
-- Peter McArthur
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Any body of men who believe in hell will persecute whenever they have the power.
-- Joseph M McCabe
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Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
-- Charlie McCarthy
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Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
-- Eugene McCarthy
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It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy
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The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency.
-- Eugene McCarthy
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This is, I say, the time for all good men not to go to the aid of their party, but to come to the aid of their country.
-- Eugene McCarthy
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Some people drink from the wellspring of knowledge... others gargle.
-- "Mac" McClaren
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I am not an economist. I am an honest man!
-- Paul McCracken
%%
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran
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The problem is not whether business will survive in competition with business, but whether business will survive at all in the face of social change.
-- Laurence Joseph McGinley
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Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley
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I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
-- George McGovern
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It doesn't require any particular bravery to stand on the floor of the Senate and urge our boys in Vietnam to fight harder, and if this war mushrooms into a major conflict and a hundred thousand young Americans are killed, it won't be U. S. Senators who die. It will be American soldiers who are too young to qualify for the senate.
-- George McGovern
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It is simply untrue that all our institutions are evil,... that all politicians are mere opportunists, that all aspects of university life are corrupt. Having discovered an illness, it's not terribly useful to prescribe death as a cure.
-- George McGovern
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The Establishment centre ... has led us into the stupidest and cruelest war in all history. That war is a moral and political disaster ... a terrible cancer eating away at the soul of our nation.
-- George McGovern
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Man is a blind, witless, low brow, anthropocentric clod who inflicts lesions upon the earth.
-- Ian McHarg
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No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O McKay
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I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board
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The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
-- Delo McKown
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If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
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In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
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No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
%%
The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
%%
There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today.
-- Mignon McLaughlin
%%
I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug McLeod
%%
Innovation for the holders of conventional wisdom is not novelty, but annihilation.
-- Marshal McLuhan
%%
Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools.
-- Marshall McLuhan
%%
There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.
-- Marshall McLuhan
%%
Sometimes it is a great joy just to listen to someone we love talking.
-- Vincent McNabb
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What great delight it is to see the ones we love and then to have speech with them.
-- Vincent McNabb
%%
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane
%%
A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H Mead
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Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
-- Margaret Mead
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
-- Margaret Mead
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Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire.
-- Margaret Mead
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We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.
-- Margaret Mead
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Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead
%%
As I was going up the stair. I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
-- Hughes Mearns
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The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledegook than the rest of the world put together.
-- Sir Peter Medawar
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... You don't have many suspects who are innocent of a crime. That's contradictory. If a person is innocent of a crime, then he is not suspected.
-- Edwin Meese
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As President Nixon says, presidents can do almost anything, and President Nixon has done many things that nobody would have thought of doing.
-- Golda Meir
%%
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
-- Golda Meir, to a visiting diplomat
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Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either.
-- Golda Meir
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To be successful, a woman has to be much better at her job than a man.
-- Golda Meir
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You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Golda Meir
%%
Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner
%%
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
-- Bernard Meltzer
%%
"Sunday up the River," contrasting with the "City of Dreadful Night," is like a Cuban humming-bird, beautiful in fairy tints, flying against the tropic thunder-cloud. [Thomson] was a sterling poet, if ever one sang. As to his pessimism, altho' neither pessimist nor optimist myself, nevertheless I relish it in the verse if for nothing else than as a counterpoise to the exorbitant hopefulness, juvenile and shallow, that makes such a bluster in these days ... at least, in some quarters.
-- Herman Melville, on James Thomson
%%
... Ah this sovereign virtue of age ... how can we living men attain unto it. We may spice up our dishes with all the condiments of the Spice Islands & Moluccas, & our dishes may be all venison & wild boar ... yet how the deuce can we make them a century or two old? ... My Dear Sir, the two great things yet to be discovered are these ... The Art of rejuvenating old age in men, & oldageifying youth in books. ... Who in the name of the trunkmakers would think of reading Old [Robert] Burton were his book published for the first to day? ... All ambitious authors should have ghosts capable of revisiting the world, to snuff up the steam of adulation, which begins to rise straightway as the Sexton throws his last shovelful on him. ... Down goes his body & up flies his name.
-- Herman Melville
%%
... Can you send me about fifty fast-writing youths, with an easy style & not averse to polishing their labours? If you can, I wish you would, because since I have been here I have planned about that number of future works & cant find enough time to think about them separately. ... But I don't know but a book in a man's brain is better off than a book bound in calf ... at any rate it is safer from criticism. And taking a book off the brain, is akin to the ticklish and dangerous business of taking an old painting off a panel ... you have to scrape off the whole brain in order to get at it with due safety ... & even then, the painting may not be worth the trouble.
-- Herman Melville
%%
... Each [of Thomson's poems] is so admirably honest and original that it would have been wonderful indeed had they hit the popular taste. They would have to be painstakingly diluted for that ... diluted with that prudential wordly element, wherewithall Mr Arnold has conciliated the conventionalists while at the same time showing the absurdity of Bumble. But for your admirable friend this would have been too much like trimming ... if trimming in fact it be. The motions of his mind in the best of his Essays are utterly untrammelled and independent, and yet falling naturally into grace and poetry. It is good for me to think of such a mind ... to know that such a brave intelligence has been ... and may yet be, for aught anyone can demonstrate to the contrary.
-- Herman Melville
%%
... I could not but feel heartily vexed, that while the intelligent Editors of a publication like [Chamber's Edinburgh Journal] should thus endorse the genuineness of the narrative ... so many numskulls on this side of the water should heroically avow their determination not to be "gulled" by it. The fact is, those who do not believe it are the greatest "gulls". ... full fledged ones too.
-- Herman Melville
%%
... I had almost forgotten one thing ... the title of the book. ... From the first I have deeply regretted that it did not appear in England under the title I always intended for it ... "Typee" It was published here under that title & it has made a decided hit. Nor was anything else to be expected ... that is, if the book was going to succeed at all, for "Typee" is a title naturally suggested by the narrative itself, and not farfetched as some strange titles are. Besides, its very strangeness & novelty, founded as it is upon the character of the book ... are the very things to make "Typee" a popular title.
-- Herman Melville
%%
... I have recently read his "Twice Told Tales" (I hadnt read but a few of them before) I think they far exceed the "Mosses" ... they are, I fancy, an earlier vintage from his wine. Some of those sketches are wonderfully subtle. Their deeper meanings are worthy of a Brahmin. Still there is something lacking ... a good deal lacking ... to the plump sphericity of the man. What is that? ... He doesn't patronise the butcher ... he needs roast-beef, done rare. ... Nevertheless, for one, I regard Hawthorne (in his books) as evincing a quality of genius, immensely loftier, & more profound, too, than any other American has shown hitherto in the printed form. Irving is a grasshopper to him ... putting the souls of the two men together, I mean.
-- Herman Melville, on Nathaniel Hawthorne
%%
... I hope I shall never write such a book again ... Tho' when a poor devil writes with duns all round him, & looking over the back of his chair ... & perching on his pen & diving in his inkstand ... like the devils about St: Anthony ... what can you expect of that poor devil? ... What but a beggarly Redburn!
-- Herman Melville, on Redburn
%%
... My new book possessing unquestionable novelty, as regards my former ones, ... treating of utterly new scenes & characters; ... and, as I believe, very much more calculated for popularity than anything you have yet published of mine ... being a regular romance, with a mysterious plot to it, & stirring passions at work, and withal, representing a new & elevated aspect of American life ... all these considerations warrant me strongly in not closing with terms greatly inferior to those upon which our previous negotiations have proceeded. ... Besides, ... if you please, Mr Bentley ... let bygones be bygones; let those previous books, for the present, take care of themselves. For here now we have a new book, and what shall we say about this? If nothing has been made on the old books, may not something be made out of the new? ... At any rate, herewith you have it. Look at it and see whether it will suit you to purchase it.... It is a larger book, by 150 pages & more, than I thought it would be, at the date of my first writing you about it. Other things being equal, this circumstance, ... in your mode of publication ... must of course augment its value to you.... ... I have thought that, on several accounts, (one of which is, the rapid succession in which my works have lately been published) it might not prove unadvisable to publish this present book anonymously, or under an assumed name: ... "By a Vermonter" say. or "By Guy Winthrop."
-- Herman Melville, on Pierre
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... To be blunt: the work I shall next publish will be in downright earnest a "Romance of Polynesian Adventure" ... But why this? The truth is, Sir, that the reiterated imputation of being a romancer in disguise has at last pricked me into a resolution to show those who may take any interest in the matter, that a real romance of mine is no Typee or Omoo, & is made of different stuff altogether. This I confess has been the main inducement in altering my plans ... but others have operated. I have long thought that Polynesia furnished a great deal of rich poetical material that has never been employed hitherto in works of fancy; and which to bring out suitably, required only that play of freedom & invention accorded only to the Romancer & poet. ... However, I thought, that I would postpone trying my hand at any thing fanciful of this sort, till some future day: tho' at times when in the mood I threw off occasional sketches applicable to such a work. ... Well: proceeding in my narrative of facts I began to feel an incurable distaste for the same; & a longing to plume my pinions for a flight, & felt irked, cramped & fettered by plodding along with dull common places, ... So suddenly standing the thing altogether, I went to work heart & soul at a romance which is now in fair progress, since I had worked at it under an earnest ardour. ... Shout not, nor exclaim "Pshaw! Puh!" ... My romance I assure you is no dish water nor its model borrowed from the Circulating Library. It is something new I assure you, & original if nothing more. But I can give you no adequate idea, of it. You must see it for yourself. ... Only forbear to prejudge it. ... It opens like a true narrative ... like Omoo for example, on ship board ... & the romance & poetry of the thing thence grow continually, till it becomes a story wild enough I assure you & with a meaning too.
-- Herman Melville, on Omoo
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... [A] metrical affair, a pilgrimage or what not, of several thousand lines, eminently adapted for unpopularity. ... The notification to you here is ambidexter, as it were: it may intimidate or allure.
-- Herman Melville, on Clarel
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About the "whaling voyage" ... I am half way in the work, & am very glad that your suggestion so jumps with mine. It will be a strange sort of book, tho', I fear; blubber is blubber you know; tho' you may get oil out of it, the poetry runs as hard as sap from a frozen maple tree; ... & to cook the thing up, one must needs throw in a little fancy, which from the nature of the thing, must be ungainly as the gambols of the whales themselves. Yet I mean to give the truth of the thing, spite of this.
-- Herman Melville, on Moby-Dick
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And do not think, my boy, that because I, impulsively broke forth in jubilations over Shakespeare, that, therefore, I am of the number of the snobs who burn their tuns of rancid fat at his shrine. No, I would stand afar off & alone, & burn some pure Palm oil, the product of some overtopping trunk. ... I would to God Shakespeare had lived later, & promenaded in Broadway. Not that I might have had the pleasure of leaving my card for him at the Astor, or made merry with him over a bowl of the fine Duyckinck punch; but that the muzzle which all men wore on their soul in the Elizebethan day, might not have intercepted Shakespeare's full articulations. For I hold it a verity, that even Shakespeare, was not a frank man to the uttermost. And, indeed, who in this intolerant universe is, or can be? But the Declaration of Independence makes a difference.
-- Herman Melville, on William Shakespeare
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And perhaps after all, there is no secret. We incline to think that the Problem of the Universe is like the Freemason's mighty secret, so terrible to all children. It turns out, at last, to consist in a triangle, a mallet, and an apron, ... nothing more! We incline to think that God cannot explain His own secrets, and that He would like a little more information upon certain points Himself. We mortals astonish Him as much as He us.
-- Herman Melville
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As to [James Thomson's] not achieving "fame" ... what of that? He is not the less, but so much the more. And it must have occurred to you as it has to me, that the further our civilization advances upon its present lines so much the cheaper sort of thing does "fame" become, especially of the literary sort. This species of "fame" a waggish acquaintance says can be manufactured to order, and sometimes is so manufactured thro the agency of a certain house that has a correspondent in every one of the almost innumerable journals that enlighten our millions from the Lakes to the Gulf & from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
-- Herman Melville
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Being told that you particularly desired my autograph I cheerfully send it, and the author of "Typee" looks forward with complacency to his joining that goodly fellowship of names which the taste and industry of Dr. Sprague have collected. But believe me, Dear Sir, I take you to be indeed curious in these autographs, since you desire that of Herman Melville, Lansingburgh, July 24, '46. Now that I think of it, I was charged to write two of them ... you remember someone woke one morning and found himself famous. And here am I, just come from hoeing in the garden, writing autographs.
-- Herman Melville
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But it is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
-- Herman Melville
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Do you want to hear about the war? ... The war goes bravely on. McClellan is now within fifteen miles of the rebel capital, Richmond. New Orleans is taken &c &c &c....; But when the end ... the wind-up ... the grand pacification is coming, who knows. We beat the rascals in almost every field, & take all their ports &c, but they dont cry "Enough!" ... It looks like a long lane, with the turning quite out of sight.
-- Herman Melville, letter to his brother Thomas, 1862
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For some days past being engaged in the woods with axe, wedge, & beetle, the Whale had almost completely slipped me for the time (& I was the merrier for it) when Crash! comes Moby Dick himself (as you justly say) & reminds me of what I have been about for part of the last year or two. It is really & truly a surprising coincidence ... to say the least. I make no doubt it is Moby Dick himself, for there is no account of his capture after the sad fate of the Pequod about fourteen years ago. ... Ye Gods! What a commentator is this Ann Alexander whale. What he has to say is short & pithy & very much to the point. I wonder if my evil art has raised this monster.
-- Herman Melville, in response to news of the sinking of a whale ship by a whale, 1851
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He who has never failed somewhere, that man can not be great.
-- Herman Melville
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I engage that the story shall contain nothing of any sort to shock the fastidious. There will be very little reflective writing in it; nothing weighty. It is adventure. As for its interest, I shall try to sustain that as well as I can.
-- Herman Melville, on Israel Potter
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I have a sort of sea-feeling here in the country.
-- Herman Melville, on Life at Arrowhead
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I have another work now nearly completed which I am anxious to submit to you before presenting it to any other publishing house. It embraces adventures in the South Seas (of a totally different character from "Typee") and includes an eventful cruise in an English Colonial Whaleman (A Sydney Ship) and a comical residence on the island of Tahiti. The time is about four months, but I & my narrative are both on the move during that short period. This new book begins exactly where Typee leaves off ... but has no further connection with my first work. ... Permit me here to assure Mr Murray that my new M.S.S. will be in a rather better state for the press than the M.S.S. [of Typee] handed to him by my brother. A little experience in this art of book-craft has done wonders.
-- Herman Melville, on Typee
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I have been passing my time very pleasurably here, But chiefly in lounging on a sofa (a la the poet Grey) & reading Shakespeare. It is an edition in glorious great type, every letter whereof is a soldier, & the top of every "t" like a musket barrel. Dolt & ass that I am I have lived more than 29 years, & until a few days ago, never made close acquaintance with the divine William. Ah, he's full of sermons-on-the-mount, and gentle, aye, almost as Jesus. I take such men to be inspired. I fancy that this moment Shakespeare in heaven ranks with Gabriel Raphael and Michael. And if another Messiah ever comes twill be in Shakespeare's person. ... I am mad to think how minute a cause has prevented me hitherto from reading Shakespeare. But until now, every copy that was come-atable to me, happened to be in a vile small print unendurable to my eyes which are tender as young sparrows. But chancing to fall in with this glorious edition, I now exult in it, page after page.
-- Herman Melville, on William Shakespeare
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I have now in preparation a thing of widely different cast from "Mardi": ... a plain, straightforward, amusing narrative of personal experience ... the son of a gentleman on his first voyage to sea as a sailor ... no metaphysics, no conic-sections, nothing but cakes & ale. I have shifted my ground from the South Seas to a different quarter of the globe ... nearer home ... and what I write I have almost wholly picked up by my own observations under comical circumstances.
-- Herman Melville, on Redburn
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I never had the honour of knowing, or even seeing, Mr Cooper personally; so that, through my past ignorance of his person, the man, though dead, is still as living to me as ever. And this is very much; for his works are among the earliest I remember, as in my boyhood producing a vivid, and awakening power upon my mind. It has always much pained me, that for any reason, in his latter years, his fame at home should have apparently received a slight, temporary clouding, from some very paltry accidents, incident, more or less, to the general career of letters. But whatever possible things in Mr Cooper may have seemed, to have, in some degree, provoked the occasional treatment he received, it is certain, that he possessed no slightest weaknesses, but those, which are only noticeable as the almost infallible indices of pervading greatness. He was a great, robust-souled man, all whose merits are not even yet fully appreciated. But a grateful posterity will take the best of care of Fennimore Cooper.
-- Herman Melville, on James Fenimore Cooper
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I see that Mardi has been cut into by the London Athenaeum, and also burnt by the common hangman in the Boston Post. However the London Examiner & Literary Gazette; & other papers this side of the water have done differently. These attacks are matters of course, and are essential to the building up of any permanent reputation ... if such should ever prove to be mine. ... "There's nothing in it!" cried the dunce, when he threw down the 47th problem of the 1st book of Euclid ... "There's nothing in it ... " ... Thus with the posed critic. But Time, which is the solver of all riddles, will solve Mardi.
-- Herman Melville, on Mardi
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If Mardi be admitted to your shelves, your bibliographical Republic of Letters may find some contentment in the thought, that it has afforded refuge to a work, which almost everywhere else has been driven forth like a wild, mystic Mormon into shelterless exile.
-- Herman Melville, on Mardi
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If some books are deemed most baneful and their sale forbid, how then with deadlier facts, not dreams of doting men? Those whom books will hurt will not be proof against events. Events, not books should be forbid.
-- Herman Melville
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In a little notice of The Oregon Trail I once said something "critical" about another man's book ... I shall never do it again. Hereafter I shall no more stab at a book (in print, I mean) than I would stab at a man. ... I am but a poor mortal, & I admit that I learn by experience & not by divine intuitions. Had I not written & published Mardi, in all likelihood, I would not be as wise as I am now, or may be. For that thing was stabbed at (I do not say through) ... & therefore, I am the wiser for it.
-- Herman Melville, on Mardi
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In the latter part of the coming autumn I shall have ready a new work; and I write you now to propose its publication in England. The book is a romance of adventure, founded upon certain wild legends in the Southern Sperm Whale Fisheries, and illustrated by the author's own personal experience, of two years & more, as a harpooner. Should you be inclined to undertake the book, I think that it will be worth to you 200 pounds.. Could you be positively put in possession of the copyright, it might be worth to you a larger sum ... considering its great novelty; for I do not know that the subject treated of has ever been worked up by a romancer; or, indeed, by any writer, in any adequate manner.
-- Herman Melville, on Moby-Dick
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It ... is of the horrible texture of a fabric that should be woven of ships' cables and hawsers. A Polar wind blows through it, & birds of prey hover over it. Warn all gentle fastidious people from so much as peeping into the book ... on risk of a lumbago & sciatics.
-- Herman Melville, on Moby-Dick
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It is now quite a time since you first asked me for my photo: ... Well, here it is at last, the veritable face (at least, so says the Sun that never lied in his life) of your now venerable friend ... venerable in years. ... What the deuce makes him look so serious, I wonder. I thought he was of a gay and frolicsome nature, judging from a little rhyme of his about a Kitten, which you once showed me. But is this the same man? Pray, explain the inconsistency, or I shall begin to suspect your venerable friend of being a two-faced fellow and not to be trusted.
-- Herman Melville
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Nay, I do not oscillate in Emerson's rainbow, but prefer rather to hang myself in mine own halter than swing in any other man's swing. Yet I think Emerson is more than a brilliant fellow. Be his stuff begged, borrowed, or stolen, or of his own domestic manufacture he is an uncommon man. Swear he is a humbug ... then is he no common humbug. Lay it down that had not Sir Thomas Browne lived, Emerson would not have mystified ... I will answer, that had not Old Zack's father begot him, old Zack would never have been the hero of Palo Alto. The truth is that we are all sons, grandsons, or nephews or great-nephews of those who go before us. No one is his own sire. ... I was very agreeably disappointed in Mr Emerson. I had heard of him as full of transcendentalisms, myths & oracular gibberish; I had only glanced at a book of his once in Putnam's store ... that was all I knew of him, till I heard him lecture. ... To my surprise, I found him quite intelligible, tho' to say truth, they told me that that night he was unusually plain. ... Now, there is a something about every man elevated above mediocrity, which is, for the most part, instinctual perceptible. This I see in Mr Emerson. And, frankly, for the sake of the argument, let us call him a fool; ... then had I rather be a fool than a wise man. ... I love all men who dive. Any fish can swim near the surface, but it takes a great whale to go down stairs five miles or more; & if he don't attain the bottom, why, all the lead in Galena can't fashion the plummet that will. I'm not talking of Mr Emerson now ... but of the whole corps of thought-divers, that have been diving & coming up again with bloodshot eyes since the world began. I could readily see in Emerson, notwithstanding his merit, a gaping flaw. It was, the insinuation, that had he lived in those days when the world was made, he might have offered some valuable suggestions. These men are all cracked right across the brow. And never will the pullers-down be able to cope with the builders-up. And this pulling down is easy enough ... a keg of powder blew up Block's Monument ... but the man who applied the match, could not, alone, build such a pile to save his soul from the shark-maw of the Devil. But enough of this Plato who talks thro' his nose.
-- Herman Melville, on Ralph Waldo Emerson
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People here are all in a state of delirium about the Mexican War. A military ardour pervades all ranks ... Militia Colonels wax red in their coat facings ... and 'prentice boys are running off to the wars by scores. ... Nothing is talked of but the "Halls of the Montezumas" And to hear folks prate about those purely figurative apartments one would suppose that they were another Versailles where our democratic rabble meant to "make a night of it" ere long.... But seriously something great is impending. The Mexican War (tho' our troops have behaved right well) is nothing of itself ... but "a little spark kindleth a great fire" as the well known author of the Proverbs very justly remarks. ... and who knows what all this may lead to ... Will it breed a rupture with England? Or any other great powers? ... Prithee, are there any notable battles in store ... any Yankee Waterloos? ... Or think once of a mighty Yankee fleet coming to the war shock in the middle of the Atlantic with an English one. ... Lord, the day is at hand, when we will be able to talk of our killed & wounded like some of the old Eastern conquerors reckoning them up by thousands; when the Battle of Monmouth will be thought child's play ... & canes made out of the Constitution's timbers be thought no more of than bamboos.
-- Herman Melville, letter to his brother Gansevoort
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Poor [Charles Fenno] Hoffman ... I remember the shock I had when I first saw the mention of his madness. ... But he was just the man to go mad ... imaginative, voluptuously inclined, poor, unemployed, in the race of life distanced by his inferiors, unmarried, ... without a port or haven in the universe to make. His present misfortune ... rather blessing ... is but the sequel to a long experience of unwholesome habits of thought. ... This going mad of a friend or acquaintance comes straight home to every man who feels his soul in him, ... which but few men do. For in all of us lodges the same fuel to light the same fire. And he who has never felt, momentarily, what madness is has but a mouthful of brains. What sort of sensation permanent madness is may be very well imagined ... just as we imagine how we felt when we were infants, tho' we cannot recall it. In both conditions we are irresponsible & riot like gods without fear of fate. ... It is the climax of a mad night of revelry when the blood has been transmuted into brandy. ... But if we prate much of this thing we shall be illustrating our own propositions.
-- Herman Melville
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Settled by the people of all nations, all nations may claim her for their own. You can not spill a drop of American blood without spilling the blood of the whole world..No: our blood is as the flood of the Amazon, made up of a thousand noble currents all pouring into one. We are not a nation, so much as a world; for unless we may claim all the world for our sire, we are without father or mother.
-- Herman Melville
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She makes a glorious Lady Macbeth, but her Desdemona seems like a boarding school miss. ... She's so unfemininely masculine that had she not, on unimpeachable authority, borne children, I should be curious to learn the result of a surgical examination of her person in private. The Lord help Butler ... I marvel not he seeks being amputated off from his matrimonial half.
-- Herman Melville, on Fanny Kemble Butler
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So, now, let us add Moby Dick to our blessing, and step from that. Leviathan is not the biggest fish; ... I have heard of Krakens.
-- Herman Melville, on Moby-Dick
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Some Memoranda for Publishing Poems: 1) Don't stand on terms much with the publisher ... half-profits after expenses are paid will content me ... not that I expect much "profits" ... but that will be a fair nominal arrangement ... They should also give me 1 doz. copies of the book ... 2) Don't have the Harpers. ... I should like the Appletons or Scribner ... But Duyckinck's advice will be good here. 3) The sooner the thing is printed and published, the better ... The "season" will make little or no difference, I fancy, in this case. 4) After printing, don't let the book hang back ... but publish, & have done. 5) For God's sake don't have By the author of "Typee" "Piddledee" &c on the title-page. 6) Let the title-page be simply, Poems by Herman Melville. 7) Don't have any clap-trap announcements and "sensation" puffs ... nor any extracts published previous to publication of book ... Have a decent publisher, in short.... ... Of all human events, perhaps, the publication of a first volume of verse is the most insignificant; but though a matter of no moment to the world, it is still of some concern to the author, ... as these Mem. show ... Pray therefore, don't laugh at my Mem. but give heed to them, and so oblige Your brother Herman.
-- Herman Melville, letter to his brother Allan
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The Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine review of Redburn is very comical ... seemed so, at least, as I had to hurry over it ... in treating the thing as real. But the wonder is that the old Tory should waste so many pages upon a thing, which I, the author, know to be trash, & wrote it to buy some tobacco with.
-- Herman Melville, on Redburn
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The fact is, almost everybody is having his "mug" engraved nowadays; so that this test of distinction is getting to be reversed; and therefore, to see one's "mug" in a magazine, is presumptive evidence that he's a nobody. So being as vain a man as ever lived; & believing that my illustrious name is famous throughout the world ... I respectfully decline being oblivionated by a Daguerreotype....
-- Herman Melville, response to Evert Duyckinck's request for a photograph
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The night previous to this I was at the second levee at the White House. There was a great crowd, & a brilliant scene. Ladies in full dress by the hundred. A steady stream of two-&-twos wound thro' the apartments shaking hands with "Old Abe" and immediately passing on. This continued without cessation for an hour & a half. Of course I was one of the shakers. Old Able is much better looking [than] I expected & younger looking. He shook hands like a good fellow ... working hard at it like a man sawing wood at so much per cord. Mrs Lincoln is rather good-looking I thought. The scene was very fine altogether. Superb furniture ... flood of light ... magnificent flowers ... full band of music &c.
-- Herman Melville, on Abraham Lincoln
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The other day I visited out of curiosity the Gansevoort Hotel, corner of "Little twelfth Street" and West Street. I bought a paper of tobacco by way of introducing myself: then I said to the person who served me: "Can you tell me what this word 'Gansevoort' means? is it the name of a man? and if so, who was this Gansevoort?" Thereupon a solemn gentleman at a remote table spoke up: "Sir," said he, putting down his newspaper, "this hotel and the street of the same name are called after a very rich family who in old times owned a great deal of property hereabouts." The dense ignorance of this solemn gentleman, ... his knowing nothing of the hero of Fort Stanwix, aroused such an indignation in my breast, that, disdaining to enlighten his benighted soul, I left the place without further colloquy. Repairing to the philosophic privacy of the District Office, I then moralized upon the instability of human glory and the evanescence of ... many other things.
-- Herman Melville, letter to his mother
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There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.
-- Herman Melville
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They [Redburn and White-Jacket] are two jobs, which I have done for money ... being forced to it, as other men are to sawing wood. And while I have felt obliged to refrain from writing the kind of book I would wish to; yet, in writing these two books, I have not repressed myself much ... so far as they are concerned; but have spoken pretty much as I feel. ... Being books, then, written in this way, my only desire for their "success" (as it is called) springs from my pocket, and not from my heart. So far as I am individually concerned, and independent of my pocket, it is my earnest desire to write those sort of books which are said to "fail"....
-- Herman Melville, on Redburn
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This man-of-war book, My Dear Sir, is in some parts rather man-of-warish in style ... rather aggressive I fear. ... But you, who like myself, have experienced in person the usages to which a sailor is subjected, will not wonder, perhaps, at any thing in the book. Would to God, that every man who shall read it, had been before the mast in an armed ship, that he might know something himself of what he shall only read of.
-- Herman Melville, on White-Jacket
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This new edition will be a Revised one, and I can not but think that the measure will prove a judicious one. ... The revision will only extend to the exclusion of those parts not naturally connected with the narrative, and some slight purifications of style. I am persuaded that the intrinsic merit of the narrative alone ... & that other portions, however interesting they may be in themselves, only serve to impede the story. The book is certainly calculated for popular reading, or for none at all. ... If the first, why then, all passages which are calculated to offend the tastes, or offer violence to the feelings of any large class of readers are certainly objectionable. ... Proceeding from this principle then, I have rejected every thing, in revising the book, which refers to the missionaries. Such passages are altogether foreign to the adventure, & altho' they may possess a temporary interest now, to some, yet so far as the wide & permanent popularity of the work is concerned, their exclusion will certainly be beneficial, for to that end, the less the book has to carry along with it the better.
-- Herman Melville, on Typee
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This recovery [from a riding accident] is flattering to my vanity. I begin to indulge in the pleasing idea that my life must needs be of some value. Probably I consume a certain amount of oxygen, which unconsumed might create some subtle disturbance in Nature. Be that as it may, I am going to try and stick to the conviction named above. For I have observed that such an idea, once well bedded in a man, is a wonderful conservator of health and almost a prophecy of long life. I once, like other spoonies, cherished a loose sort of notion that I did not care to live very long. But I will frankly own that I have now no serious, no insuperable objections to a respectable longevity. I dont like the idea of being left out night after night in a cold church-yard.
-- Herman Melville
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This time tomorrow I shall be on land, & press English earth after the lapse of ten years ... then a sailor, now H.M. author of "Peedee" "Hullabaloo" & "Pog-Dog."
-- Herman Melville, on Redburn
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Typee has come out measurably unscathed from the fiery ordeal of Mr Wiley's criticisms. I trust as it now stands the book will retain all those essential features which most commended it to the public favour.
-- Herman Melville, on Typee
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We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibres connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibres, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.
-- Herman Melville
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What I feel most moved to write, that is banned, ... it will not pay. Yet, altogether, write the other way I cannot. So the product is a final hash, and all my books are botches.
-- Herman Melville
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What's the use of elaborating what, in its very essence, is so short-lived as a modern book? Though I wrote the Gospels in this century, I should die in the gutter.... Think of it! To go down to posterity is bad enough, any way; but to go down as a "man who lived among the cannibals"!... I have come to regard this matter of Fame as the most transparent of all vanities.
-- Herman Melville
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Where does the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colours, but where exactly does the one first blending enter into the other. So with sanity and insanity.
-- Herman Melville
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Whoever is not in the possession of leisure can hardly be said to possess independence. They talk of the dignity of work. Bosh. True Work is the necessity of poor humanity's earthly condition. The dignity is in leisure. Besides, 99 hundreths of all the work done in the world is either foolish and unnecessary, or harmful and wicked.
-- Herman Melville
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Would that a man could do something & then say ... It is finished. ... not that one thing only, but all others ... that he has reached his uttermost, & can never exceed it. But live & push ... tho' we put one leg forward ten miles ... its no reason the other leg must lag behind ... no, that must again distance the other ... & so we go till we get the cramp & die.
-- Herman Melville
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You are young; but I am verging upon three-score, and at times a certain lassitude steals over one ... in fact, a disinclination for doing anything except the indispensable. At such moments the problem of the universe seems a humbug, and epistolary obligations mere moonshine, and the ... well, nepenthe seems all-in-all.... You are young (as I said before) but I aint; and at my years, and with my disposition, or rather, constitution, one gets to care less and less for everything except downright good feeling. Life is so short, and so ridiculous and irrational (from a certain point of view) that one knows not what to make of it, unless ... well, finish the sentence for yourself. Thine in these inexplicable fleshly bonds, H.M.
-- Herman Melville
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You ask for "documentary evidences" of my having been at the Marquesas ... in Typee. ... Dear Sir, how indescribably vexatious, when one really feels in his very bones that he has been there, to have a parcel of blockheads question it! ... Not (let me hurry to tell you) that Mr John Murray comes under that category ... Oh no ... Mr Murray I am ready to swear stands fast by the faith, believing "Typee" from Preface to Sequel ... He only wants something to stop the mouths of the senseless sceptics ... men who go straight from their cradles to their graves & never dream of the queer things going on at the antipodes. ... I know not how to set about getting the evidence ... How under Heaven am I to subpoena the skipper of the Dolly who by this time is the Lord only knows where, or Kory-Kory who I'll be bound is this blessed day taking his noon nap somewhere in the flowery vale of Typee, some leagues too from the Monument. Seriously on the receipt of your welcome favour, Dear Sir, I addressed a note to the owners of the ship, asking if they could procure for me, a copy of that part of the ship's log which makes mention of two rascals running away at Nukaheva ... to wit Herman Melville and Richard T. Greene. As yet I have nothing in reply ... If I think of any other kind of evidence I will send it, if it can be had & dispatched.
-- Herman Melville, on Typee
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You ask me about "the jacket." I answer it was a veritable garment ... which I suppose is now somewhere at the bottom of Charles river. I was a great fool, or I should have brought such a remarkable fabric (as it really was, to behold) home with me. Will you excuse me from telling you ... or rather from putting on pen-&-ink record over my name, the real names of the individuals who officered the frigate. I am very loath to do so, because I have never indulged in any ill-will or disrespect for them, personally; & shrink from any thing that approaches to a personal identification of them with characters that were only intended to furnish samples of a tribe ... characters, also, which possess some not wholly complimentary traits. If you think it worth knowing ... I will tell you all, when I next have the pleasure of seeing you face to face.
-- Herman Melville, on White-Jacket
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You may think, in your own mind that a man is unwise, ... indiscreet, to write a work of that kind, when he might have written one perhaps, calculated merely to please the general reader, & not provoke attack, however masqued in an affectation of indifference or contempt. But some of us scribblers, My dear Sir, always have a certain something unmanageable in us, that bids us do this or that, and be done it must ... hit or miss.
-- Herman Melville, on Mardi
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Literature is being taught as though it were only political medicine or political poison... a view that is not only illiberal but illiterate.
-- Louis Menand
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Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
-- Mencius
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H L Mencken
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Adultery is the application of democracy of love.
-- H L Mencken
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After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H L Mencken, on Shakespeare
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All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced upon them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.
-- H L Mencken
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An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber stamps.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Arcana Coelestica: Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that obtained by Christ.
-- H L Mencken
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Arcana Coelestica: Puritanism - The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-- H L Mencken
%%
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
-- H L Mencken
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Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
-- H L Mencken
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Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H L Mencken
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
-- H L Mencken
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Do not overestimate the decency of the human race.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-- H L Mencken
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Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
-- H L Mencken
%%
For every human problem, there is a neat simple solution; and it is always wrong.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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I don't hate religious people; I find them comical.
-- Mencken
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If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
-- H L Mencken
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.
-- H L Mencken
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In the United States... politics is purged of all menace, all sinister quality, all genuine significance, and stuffed with such gorgeous humours, such inordinate farce that one comes to the end of a campaign with one's ribs loose, and ready for ``King Lear,'' or a hanging, or a course of medical journals.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
-- H L Mencken
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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
-- H L Mencken
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It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.
-- H L Mencken
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favour of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him.
-- H L Mencken
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Legend: a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
-- H L Mencken
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Life is a dead-end street.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Los Angeles: nineteen suburbs in search of a metropolis.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
-- H L Mencken
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Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another hanging on to his coattails.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in their readiness to doubt.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing they die earlier.
-- H L Mencken
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No one blames a man for believing that his wife is beautiful, but it is impossible to avoid disgust in the presence of one who believes that he has an immortal soul of some vaguely gaseous nature and that it will continue to exist four hundred million years after he has been shovelled away...
-- Henry Louis Mencken
%%
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-- H L Mencken
%%
On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
%%
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H L Mencken
%%
School days are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, with brutal violations of common sense and common decency.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
%%
Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.
-- H L Mencken
%%
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
-- H L Mencken
%%
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
-- H L Mencken
%%
The happiest man was the one who came nearest to killing the obvious human desires, hopes and aspirations; the soaring, starving poet.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
%%
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
-- H L Mencken
%%
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
-- H L Mencken
%%
The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of knowledge a serpent slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest days the church as an organization has thrown itself violently against every effort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an apologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.
-- Henry Louis Mencken
%%
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace in a continual state of alarm (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing them with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule... and both commonly succeed, and are right.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
-- H L Mencken
%%
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H L Mencken
%%
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Whenever 'A' attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon 'B', 'A' is most likely a scoundrel.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest.
-- H L Mencken
%%
Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr Karl Menninger
%%
Beauty is the first present nature gives to woman and the first it takes away.
-- George Brossin Mere
%%
I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
-- George Meredith
%%
Trust and you're betrayed; don't trust and you betray yourself.
-- Prince Merlin, of Amber
%%
It's not enough that I should succeed ... others should fail.
-- David Merrick
%%
Like most intellectuals, he is immensely stupid.
-- Marquise de Merteuil
%%
Children should be like waffles; you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger
%%
There is intelligent life on earth, but I will go back home on Monday.
-- Davorin Mestric
%%
I am still learning.
-- Michelangelo
%%
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.
-- Michelangelo
%%
Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I accomplish.
-- Michelangelo
%%
You are one of the forces of nature.
-- Jules Michelet
%%
Love is never to be defined because it grows and changes with every year of life, and each person knows it as a different miracle.
-- James Michener
%%
My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable.... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether or not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to space, because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought us, in our generation, to a point from which we can explore and understand and utilize it. To turn back now would be to deny our history, our capabilities.
-- James A Michener
%%
The worst part of having success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.
-- Bette Midler
%%
The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far consequence of submission to authority.
-- Stanley Milgram
%%
A man and still more the woman, who can be accused either of doing 'what nobody does,' or of not doing 'what everybody does,' is... in peril of a commission de lunatico.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
In the case of any person whose judgement is really deserving of confidence, how has it become so? Because he has kept his mind open to criticism of his opinions and conduct. Because it has been his practice to listen to all that could be said against him; to profit by as much of it as was just, and expound to himself... the fallacy of what was fallacious.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
Liberty consists in doing what one desires.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interest.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
The price paid for intellectual pacification is the sacrifice of the entire moral courage of the human mind.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
There is one characteristic of the present direction of public opinion peculiarly calculated to make it intolerant of any marked demonstration of individuality. The general average of mankind are not only moderate in intellect, but also moderate in inclinations; they have no tastes or wishes strong enough to incline them to do anything unusual, and they consequently do not understand those who have, and class all such with the wild and intemperate who they are accustomed to look down upon.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavouring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill
%%
It is not true that life is one damn thing after another... It's one damn thing over and over.
-- Edna St Vincent Millay
%%
Man has never been the same since God died.
-- Millay
%%
There is no God. But it does not matter. Man is enough.
-- Edna St Vincent Millay
%%
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
-- Dennis Miller
%%
Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, `You gotta be in it to win it... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance.'
-- Dennis Miller
%%
Even if it doesn't work, there is something healthy and invigorating about direct action.
-- Henry Miller
%%
Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him.
-- Henry Miller
%%
I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.
-- Henry Miller
%%
In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest.
-- Henry Miller
%%
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. . . the other eight are unimportant.
-- Henry Miller
%%
The new always carries with it the sense of violation, of sacrilege. What is dead is sacred; what is new, that is, different, is evil, dangerous, or subversive.
-- Henry Miller
%%
The world is not to be put in order, the world is order incarnate. It is for us to put ourselves in unison either this order.
-- Henry Miller
%%
To enter life by way of the vagina is as good a way as any.
-- Henry Miller
%%
When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller
%%
One of the best things people could do for their descendants would be to sharply limit the number of them.
-- Olin Miller
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To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it.
-- Olin Miller
%%
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
-- Olin Miller
%%
Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive.
-- Warren Miller
%%
Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.
-- Spike Milligan
%%
I was taught very early that I would have to depend entirely upon myself; that my future lay in my own hands.
-- Darius Ogden Mills
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One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
-- A A Milne
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Accuse not nature, she hath done her part; Do thou but thine, and be not diffident Of wisdom, she deserts thee not, if thou Dismiss not her, when most thou needest her nigh, By attributing overmuch to things Less excellent, as thou thyself perceivest.
-- John Milton
%%
But wherefore thou alone? Wherefore with thee Came not all hell broke loose? Is pain to them Less pain, less to be fled, or thou than they Less hardy to endure? Courageous chief, The first in flight from pain, hadst thou alleged To thy deserted host this cause of flight, Thou surely hadst not come sole fugitive.
-- John Milton
%%
Fear and dull disposition, lukewarmness and sloth, are not seldom wont to cloak themselves under the affected name of Moderation.
-- John Milton
%%
He who reigns within himself, and rules passions, desires and fears, is more than a king.
-- Milton
%%
Here at last We shall be free; the Almighty hath not built Here for his envy, will not drive us hence: Here we may reign secure, and in my choice To reign is worth ambition though in Hell: Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.
-- John Milton
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It is better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven.
-- Milton
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Sober, steadfast, and demure.
-- John Milton
%%
The sum of earthly bliss.
-- John Milton
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When the waves are round me breaking, As I pace the deck alone, And my eye in vain is seeking Some green leaf to rest upon; What would not I give to wander Where my old companions dwell? Absence makes the heart grow founder, Isle of Beauty, fare thee well!
-- John Milton
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Where no hope is left, is left no fear.
-- Milton
%%
In political discussion heat is in inverse proportion to knowledge.
-- J G C Minchin
%%
Life is like a movie... since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov
%%
I can't be home, I'm not done with my book!
-- Mistopheles
%%
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford
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A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
-- Wilson Mizner
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Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
-- Wilson Mizner
%%
You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?
-- Bob Moawad
%%
The trouble with most jobs is the job holder's resemblance to being one of a dog sled team. No one gets a change of scenery except the lead dog.
-- Moer's truism
%%
Where one is present, God is the second, and where there are two, God is the third.
-- Mohammed
%%
Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari
%%
A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere
%%
A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behaviour is patience and moderation.
-- Moliere
%%
I live on good soup, not on fine words.
-- Moliere
%%
Oh, how fine it is to know a thing or two.
-- Moliere
%%
One dies only once, and it's for such a long time.
-- Moliere
%%
The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them; it is by excusing nothing that pure love shows itself.
-- Moliere
%%
I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
-- Marilyn Monroe
%%
Prudent people are very happy; 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to my day of Death the Humour of saying what I think.
-- Mary Wortley Montagu
%%
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
-- Ashley Montague
%%
To be free of bondage or restraint, to live under a government based on the consent of the citizens, these are basic among all freedoms ... and this is the reason why a democracy is from every possible humane point of view the best form of government ... What so many human beings in the modern world have failed to understand is that freedom is the greatest of all trusts.
-- Ashley Montague
%%
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Even on the most exalted throne in the world we are only sitting on our own bottom.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
He who fears he will suffer, already suffers from his fear.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
I conceive that pleasures are to be avoided if greater pains be the consequence, and pains to be coveted that will terminate in greater pleasures.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
I have gathered a posy of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him, I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer: because it was he, because it was I.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul.
-- Montaigne
%%
Our religion is made so as to wipe out vices.
-- Montaigne
%%
Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.
-- Montaigne
%%
The most profound joy has more of gravity than of gaiety in it.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
The thing in the world I am most of afraid of is fear, and with good reason, that passion alone in the trouble of it exceeding other accidents.
-- Montaigne
%%
The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them.... Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
There is no man so good, who, were he to submit all his thoughts and actions to the laws, would not deserve hanging ten times in his life.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
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There is nothing I desire more to be informed of, than the death of men: that is to say, what words, what countenance, and what face they show at their death.... Were I a composer of books, I would keep a register, commented of the diverse deaths, which in teaching men to die, should after teach them to live.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne
%%
Unless a man feels he has a good enough memory, he should never venture to lie.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
We can be knowledgable with other men's knowledge but we cannot be wise with other men's wisdom.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not more of a pastime to her than she is to me?
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%%
All history shows that every man who has authority is led to abuse it; he does not stop until he comes up against limitations... Things must be so arranged that one authority checks another.
-- Montesquieu
%%
Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu
%%
Ah, Hope! what would life be, stripped of thy encouraging smiles, that teach us to look behind the dark clouds of to-day, for the golden beams that are to gild the morrow.
-- Susanna Moodie
%%
In fact, one thing that I have noticed... is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.
-- Brian E Moore
%%
He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who does as an adult has no brain.
-- John Moore
%%
... high salaries equals happiness equals project success.
-- Richard F Moore
%%
Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of a love affair or else when the sweet emotions of love lead us into marriage and then turn down their flames.
-- Thomas Moore
%%
We create an environment where it is alright to hate, to steal, to cheat, and to lie if we dress it up with symbols of respectability, dignity and love.
-- Whitney Moore, Jr
%%
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.
-- Daniel Keys Moran
%%
Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it, and that a very severe one.
-- Hannah More
%%
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
-- Hannah More
%%
Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau
%%
See the conquering hero comes!, Sound the trumpets, beat the drums!
-- Thomas Morell
%%
Any man with ambition, integrity and $10,000,000 can start a daily newspaper.
-- Henry Morgan
%%
Humour is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite.
-- Christian Morgenstern
%%
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette
%%
If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama
%%
All religions die of one disease - that of being found out.
-- Morley
%%
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for your old age.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
There is only one rule for being a good talker ... learn to listen.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
There is only one success ... to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.
-- Christopher Morley
%%
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
-- John Morley
%%
How far high failure overleaps the bounds of low success.
-- Lewis Morris
%%
The church is actually patronized by the social order as a means of stabilizing and perpetuating the existing system.
-- C C Morrison
%%
All our lives we sweat and save, building for a shallow grave.
-- James Douglas Morrison
%%
The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit.
-- Dwight Morrow
%%
Push on - keep moving.
-- Thomas Morton
%%
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
-- David Moulton
%%
Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House ... as Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers
%%
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
%%
Surely the glory of journalism is its transience.
-- Malcolm Muggeridge
%%
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
-- John Muir
%%
There is that in the glance of a flower which may at times control the greatest of creation's braggart lords.
-- John Muir
%%
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
-- John Muir
%%
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull
%%
I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents become better people as a result of practising it.
-- Joe Mullally
%%
Christianity is a missionary religion, converting, advancing, aggressive, encompassing the world; a nonmissionary church is in the hands of death.
-- Friedrich Max Muller
%%
Few have heard of Fra Luca Parioli, the inventor of double entry bookkeeping; but he has probably had much more influence on human life than has Dante or Michelangelo.
-- Herbert J Muller
%%
God gives us our relatives- thank God we can choose our friends.
-- Ethel Watts Mumford
%%
The test of maturity, for nations as well as individuals, is not the increase of power, but in the increase of self, self direction, and self transcendence. For in a mature society, man himself and not his machines or his organizations is the chief work of art.
-- Lewis Mumford
%%
Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences.
-- Lewis Mumford
%%
The obscure we see eventually. The completely apparent takes a little longer.
-- Edward R Munon
%%
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
-- Hector Hugh Munro
%%
Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for more assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.
-- Hector Hugh Munro
%%
He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
-- H H Munro
%%
The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch
%%
The buck stops with the guy who signs the checks.
-- Rupert Murdoch
%%
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong!
-- Murphy's law
%%
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
-- Murphy's Constant
%%
Things get worse under pressure.
-- Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
%%
Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray
%%
Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
-- Edward R Murrow
%%
This instrument [T.V.] can teach, inform, and even enlighten. But only as far as humans are willing to use it to those ends.
-- Edward R Murrow
%%
We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.
-- Edward Roscoe Murrow
%%
How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception.
-- Alfred de Musset
%%
Fascism is a religious concept.
-- Benito Mussolini
%%
America has had gifted conservative statesmen and national leaders. But with few exceptions, only the liberals have gone down in history as national heroes.
-- Gunnar Myrdal
%%
The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest misery without almost noticing them.
-- Gunnar Myrdal
%%
There's not so much danger in a known foe and a suspected friend.
-- Nabb
%%
I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is.
-- Vladimir Nabokov
%%
My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov
%%
Solitude is the playfield of Satan.
-- Vladimir Nabokov
%%
One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is: Why did God create goyim? The generally accepted answer is somebody has to buy retail.
-- Arthur Naiman
%%
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
The trouble with a kitten is THAT Eventually it becomes a CAT.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks which practically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the turtle in such a fix to be so fertile.
-- Odgen Nash
%%
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash
%%
Beauty is but a flower, Which wrinkles will devour; Brightness falls from the air; Queens have died young and fair; Dust hath closed Helen's eye. I am sick, I must die; Lord have mercy on us.
-- Thomas Nash
%%
A man is sorry to be honest for nothing.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
As the yellow gold is tried in fire, so the faith of friendship must be seen in adversity.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
Fair peace becomes men; ferocious anger belongs to beasts.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
It is expedient that there should be gods, and, since it is expedient, let us believe that gods exist.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
Love is a driver, bitter and fierce if you fight and resist him, Easy-going enough once you acknowledge his power.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
Love is a kind of warfare.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
Nations and empires flourish and decay, By turns command, and in their turns obey.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
Nothing in the entire universe ever perishes, believe me, but things vary, and adopt a new form. The phrase "being born" is used for beginning to be something different from what one was before, while "dying" means ceasing to be the same. Though this thing may pass into that, and that into this, yet the sums of things remains unchanged.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
To be loved, be lovable.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso
%%
The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them -which- we are missing.
-- Gamel Abdel Nasser
%%
A life spent in constant labour is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.
-- George Jean Nathan
%%
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
-- George Jean Nathan
%%
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan
%%
Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
-- George Jean Nathan
%%
Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
-- George Jean Nathan
%%
I felt invincible. My strength was that of a giant. God was certainly standing by me. I smashed five saloons with rocks before I ever took a hatchet.
-- Carry Nation
%%
The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else.
-- Martina Navratilova
%%
The bigger the real-life problems, the greater the tendency for the discipline to retreat into a reassuring fantasy-land of abstract theory and technical manipulation.
-- Tom Naylor
%%
Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Need
%%
You don't want a television with knobs marked 'volume' and 'brightness' and 'contrast.' You want a television with knobs marked 'sex' and 'violence' and 'political bias.'
-- Director of MIT Media Lab Nicholas Negroponte
%%
The art of a people is a true mirror to their minds.
-- Jawaharial Nehru
%%
We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek then with our eyes open.
-- Jawaharial Nehru
%%
Sun Microsystems; Where we DESIGN the Star Fighters that defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada.
-- Steven C Neighorn
%%
We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Deputy Minister of Information Louis Nel, South Africa
%%
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
-- Cynthia Nelms
%%
We were born to die and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.
-- Russell M Nelson
%%
Thank God, I have done my duty.
-- Horatio Viscount Nelson
%%
I haven't lost my mind; I'm sure it's backed up on tape somewhere!
-- Mike Nelson
%%
Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
-- Ron Nesen
%%
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
-- John von Neumann
%%
Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.
-- Flower A Newhouse
%%
A great memory is never made synonymous with wisdom, any more than a dictionary would be called a treatise.
-- John Henry Cardinal Newman
%%
Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short.
-- John Henry Newman
%%
A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman
%%
When a man blames others for his failures, it's a good idea to credit others with his successes.
-- Howard W Newton
%%
God is able to create particles of matter of several sizes and figures ... and perhaps of different densities and forces, and thereby to vary the laws of Nature, and make worlds of several sorts in several parts of the Universe. At least, I see nothing in contradiction in all this.
-- Isaac Newton
%%
I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
-- Isaac Newton
%%
If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent.
-- Isaac Newton
%%
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton
%%
The sooner you make your first five thousand mistakes the sooner you will be able to correct them.
-- Kimon Nicolaides
%%
Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.
-- Reinhold Niebuhr
%%
For democracy is a method of finding proximate solutions for insoluble problems.
-- Reinhold Niebuhr
%%
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-- Reinhold Niebuhr
%%
In Germany they came first for the Communists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, but I did not speak up because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, but I did not speak up because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, but I did not speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and by that time there was no one left to speak up.
-- Martin Niemoller
%%
When Hitler attacked the Jews, I was not a Jew, therefore, I was not concerned. And when Hitler attacked the Catholics, I was not a Catholic, and therefore, I was not concerned. And when Hitler attacked the unions and industrialists, I was not a member of the unions and I was not concerned. Then, Hitler attacked me and the Protestant church and there was nobody left to be concerned.
-- Martin Niemoller
%%
"Every man has his price." This is not true. But for every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. To win over certain people to something, it is only necessary to give it a gloss of love of humanity, nobility, gentleness, self-sacrifice - and there is nothing you cannot get them to swallow. To their souls, these are the icing, the titbit; other kinds of souls have others.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
... they make men small, cowardly and hedonistic... every time it is the herd animal that triumphs with them. Liberalism: In other words, herd-animalization.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
A good aphorism is too hard for the tooth of time, and is not worn away by all the centuries, although it serves as food for every epoch.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
After Buddha was dead, his shadow was still shown for centuries in a cave... a tremendous, gruesome shadow. God is dead; but given the way of men, there may still be caves for thousands of years in which his shadow will be shown.... And we... we still have to vanquish his shadow, too.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain.
-- Nietzsche
%%
All good things were at one time bad things; every original sin has developed into an original virtue.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
And be on they guard against the good and the just! They would fain crucify those who devise their own virtue ... they hate the lonesome ones.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Animals was God's first blunder.
-- Nietzsche
%%
At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Battle not with monsters lest you become one.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Behold the superfluous. They are always sick. They vomit their gall and call it a newspaper.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Belief means not wanting to know what is true.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Christianity has sided with all that is weak and base, with all failures; it has made an ideal of what contradicts the instinct of the strong life to preserve itself; it has corrupted the reason even of those strongest in spirit... it has in fear of them bred the opposite type - the domestic animal, the herd animal, the sick human animal - the Christian.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Christianity is a rebellion of everything that crawls on the ground against that which has height: the evangel of the 'lowly' makes low.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Culture owes its peaks to politically weak ages.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Experience, as a desire for experience, does not come off. We must not study ourselves while having an experience.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
For what purpose humanity is there should not even concern us: why you are there, that you should ask yourself: and if you have no ready answer, then set for yourself goals, high and noble goals, and perish in pursuit of them! I know of no better life purpose than to perish in attempting the great and the impossible...
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
From the Military School of Life. What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
God is dead; but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Gods too decompose. God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
How people keep correcting us when we are young! There is always some bad habit or other they tell us we ought to get over. Yet most bad habits are tools to help us through life.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
I distrust all systematisers, and avoid them. The will to a system shows a lack of honesty.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
I know my fate. One day my name will be associated with the memory of something tremendous... a crisis without equal on earth, the most profound collision of conscience, a decision that was conjured up against everything that had been believed, demanded, hallowed so far. I am no man, I am dynamite.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
I mistrust all systemizers and I avoid them. The will to a system is a lack of integrity.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
I still live, I still think: I still have to live, for I still have to think. Sum, ergo cogito: cogito, ergo sum. Today everybody permits himself the expression of his wish and his dearest thought; hence I , too, shall say what it is that I wish from myself today, and what was the first thought to run across my heart this year... what thought shall be for me the reason, warranty, and sweetness of my life henceforth. I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor Fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
If a woman seeks education it is probably because her sexual apparatus is malfunctioning.
-- Nietzsche
%%
If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
If you go to see the woman, do not forget the whip.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Is man one of God's blunders or is god one of Man's blunders?
-- Frederich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Joyous distrust is a sign of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Life without music would be a mistake.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Live in danger. Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Morality is the best of all devices for leading mankind by the nose.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Not infrequently, one encounters copies of important people; and, as with paintings, most people prefer the copy to the original.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Only sick music makes money today.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche, 1888
%%
Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Plato was a bore.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Success has always been a great liar.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
The criterion of truth resides in the enhancement of the feeling of power.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
The doer alone learneth.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
The educational system in large states will always be mediocre at best, for the same reason that the cooking in large kitchens is at best mediocre.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
The noble soul has reverence for itself.
-- Nietzsche
%%
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
The thought of suicide is a great source of comfort: with it a calm passage is to be made across many a night.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
There are many kinds of eyes. Even the sphinx has eyes-and consequently there are many kinds of 'truths' and consequently there is no truth.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
There are no facts, only interpretations.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
There are no moral phenomena at all, but only moral interpretation of phenomena.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
This secret spoke Life herself unto me: "Behold," said she, "I am that which must ever surpass itself."
-- Nietzsche
%%
To do great things is difficult, but to command great things is more difficult.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Under peaceful conditions a warlike man sets upon himself.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Undeserved praise causes more pangs of conscience later than undeserved blame, but probably only for this reason, that our power of judgment are more completely exposed by being over praised than by being unjustly underestimated.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
We have art in order not to die of the truth.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
-- Nietzsche
%%
When one has much to put into them, a day has a hundred pockets.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Wherever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego".
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Without music, life would be a mistake.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
%%
Woman was God's second blunder.
-- Nietzsche
%%
Women can form a friendship with a man very well; but to preserve it... to that end a slight physical antipathy must probably help.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%%
You who hate the Jews so, why did you adopt their religion?
-- Nietzsche
%%
How can I lose to such an idiot?
-- Chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich, shouting
%%
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
-- Anais Nin
%%
Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
-- Anais Nin
%%
When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.
-- Anais Nin
%%
Our sense of revenge is as exact as our mathematical faculty, and until both terms of the equations are satisfied we can not get over the sense of something left undone.
-- Bushido Inazo Nitobe
%%
Anarchy is the least stable of all social structures.
-- Larry Niven
%%
Any damned fool can predict the past.
-- Larry Niven
%%
Never fire a laser at a mirror.
-- Larry Niven
%%
Never throw shit at an armed man.
-- Larry Niven
%%
No cause is so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
-- Niven
%%
No technique works if it isn't used.
-- Larry Niven
%%
Not responsible for advice not taken.
-- Larry Niven
%%
The ways of being human are bounded but infinite.
-- Larry Niven
%%
There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
-- Niven's Law #16
%%
A man is not finished when he's defeated; he's finished when he quits.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
Anyone who thinks Japan is going to export democracy to China must be smoking pot.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
Because of what you have done the heavens have become a part of man's world. And as you talk to us from the Sea of Tranquillity, it inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and Tranquillity to Earth. For one priceless moment, in the whole history of man, all the people on this Earth are truly one. One in their pride in what you have done. One in our prayers that you will return safely to Earth.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon, to Neil Armstrong on the Moon
%%
By taking this action, I hope that I will have hastened the start of the healing.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I also believe that academic freedom should protect the right of a professor or student to advocate Marxism, socialism, communism, or any other minority viewpoint... no matter how distasteful to the majority, provided...
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
I can see clearly now ... that I was wrong in not acting more decisively and more forthrightly in dealing with Watergate...
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I can take it... The tougher it gets, the cooler I get...
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I concede!
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I gave 'em a sword. And they stuck it in, and they twisted it with relish. And I guess if I had been in their position, I'd have done the same thing.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I have impeached myself by resigning.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I hereby resign this office of president of the United States.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon
%%
I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
I've analysed the best I can ... and I have not found an impeachable offence, and therefore resignation is not an acceptable course.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping centre in the world?
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
If you want to make beautiful music, you must play the black and the white notes together.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth ... to see it as it is, and tell it like it is ... to find the truth, to speak the truth, and to live the truth.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
Nothing would please the Kremlin more than to have the people of this country choose a second rate president.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
Once you get into this great stream of history, you can't get out.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
Solutions are not the answer.
-- Richard Nixon
%%
Success is not a harbour but a voyage with its own perils to the spirit. The game of life is to come up a winner, to be a success, or to achieve what we set out to do. Yet there is always the danger of failing as a human being. The lesson that most of us on this voyage never learn, but can never quite forget, is that to win is sometimes to lose.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
The successful leader does not talk down to people. He lifts them up.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
Voters quickly forget what a man says.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
We are all in it together. This is a war. We take a few shots and it will be over. We will give them a few shots and it will be over.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
Well, I'm not a crook.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
When I grow up, I want to be an honest lawyer so things like that can't happen.
-- Richard M Nixon, while still young on Teapot Dome scandal
%%
When I retire I'm going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
When the president does it, that means it is not illegal.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offence... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned; it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
Won some, lost some, all interesting.
-- Richard M Nixon
%%
You must pursue this investigation of Watergate even if it leads to the president. I'm innocent. You've got to believe I'm innocent. If you don't, take my job.
-- Richard Milhouse Nixon
%%
You can't underestimate the power of fear.
-- Tricia Nixon
%%
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
-- Kathy Norris
%%
None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives.
-- Kathleen Norris
%%
Laws were made to be broken.
-- Christopher North
%%
As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton
%%
Among the Kindred you must be devious.
-- Gangrel Nostoket
%%
Often the impossible is what has not been attempted.
-- Ultimas Noticias
%%
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
-- Henri Nouwen
%%
Each person has the right to take part in the management of public affairs in his country, provided he has prior experience, a will to succeed, a college degree, influential parents, good looks, a resume, two 3X4 snapshots, and a good tax record.
-- Carlos Eduardo Novaes
%%
I'm a gentleman at heart, but a maniac in mind.
-- Rob Novak
%%
If Communism goes, I've still got the U.S. House of Representatives.
-- Robert Novak
%%
The legacy of Democrats and Republicans approaches: Libertarianism by bankruptcy.
-- Nick Nuessle
%%
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
-- Sean O'Casey
%%
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor
%%
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor
%%
Taxpayers are people who don't have to take a civil service examination to work for the government.
-- Red O'Donnell
%%
Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
-- Michael O'Donoughue
%%
A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market.
-- Austin O'Malley
%%
Happiness is the harvest of a quiet eye.
-- Austin O'Malley
%%
Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.
-- Austin O'Malley
%%
Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces.
-- Austin O'Malley
%%
90% of the people in the stock market, professionals and amateurs alike, simply haven't done enough homework.
-- William J O'Neil
%%
Happiness hates the timid! So does science!
-- Eugene O'Neill
%%
I am a sociologist, God help me.
-- John O'Neill
%%
A dreamer lives forever, And a toiler dies in a day.
-- John Boyle O'Reilly
%%
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
-- P J O'Rourke
%%
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream. Wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams. World losers and world forsakers, for whom the pale moon gleams. Yet we are movers and the shakers of the world forever it seems.
-- Arthur O'Shaunessey
%%
Murphy was an optimist.
-- O'Toole's Commentary
%%
I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley
%%
God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.
-- O C Ogilvi
%%
Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.
-- Lane Olinghouse
%%
The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson
%%
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- President of DEC Kenneth H Olson, 1977
%%
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis
%%
Man's the bad child of the universe.
-- Oppenheim
%%
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
-- James Oppenheim
%%
I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.
-- Robert Oppenheimer, on the invention of the atom bomb
%%
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.
-- Robert Oppenheimer
%%
When you come right down to it, the reason we did this job is because it was an organic necessity. If you are a scientist, you cannot stop such a thing.
-- Robert Oppenheimer
%%
Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
-- Southern California Oracle
%%
The observation of others is coloured by our inability to observe ourselves impartially. We can never be impartial about anything until we can be impartial about our own organism.
-- A R Orage
%%
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben
%%
How true! A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.
-- Orben
%%
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
-- Robert Orben
%%
Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
-- Robert Orben
%%
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
-- Robert Orben
%%
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
-- Orben
%%
... the sort of atheist who does not so much disbelieve in God as personally dislike Him.
-- George Orwell
%%
A humanitarian is always a hypocrite.
-- George Orwell
%%
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
-- George Orwell
%%
He who controls the past commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past.
-- George Orwell
%%
Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
-- George Orwell
%%
On the whole human beings want to be good, but not to good and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell
%%
Society has always seemed to demand a little more from human beings than it will get in practice.
-- George Orwell
%%
The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.
-- George Orwell
%%
Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a while, even for years, but sooner or later they were bound to get you.
-- George Orwell
%%
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
-- George Orwell
%%
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell
%%
Let your Wit rather serve you for a buckler to defend yourself, by a handsome reply, than the Sword to wound others, though with never so facetious a Reproach, remembering that a Word cuts deeper than a sharper weapon, and the Wound it makes is longer curing.
-- Osborn
%%
Variables won't; constants aren't.
-- Osborn's Law
%%
I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.
-- Samuel Osgood
%%
The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes men from animals.
-- Sir William Osler
%%
There is no more difficult art to acquire than the art of observation, and for some men it is quite as difficult to record an observation in brief and plain language.
-- William Osler
%%
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
-- William Osler
%%
If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
-- Marie Osmond
%%
Happiness is a struggle, where there is no borderline between one's own personal world, and the world in general.
-- Lee H Oswald
%%
Ambition is a lust that is never quenched, but grows more inflamed and madder by enjoyment.
-- Thomas Otway
%%
Christianity has made of death a terror.
-- Ouida
%%
What passing bells for these who die as cattle? Only the monstrous anger of the guns. Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle, Can patter out their hasty orisons.
-- Wilfred Owen
%%
The Christian notion of the possibility of redemption is incomprehensible to the computer.
-- Vance Packard
%%
I like to browse in occult bookshops if for no other reason than to refresh my commitment to science.
-- Heinz Pagels
%%
Don't look back ... something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige
%%
A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
Infidelity does not consists in believing or disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what one does not believe.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
It has been the scheme of the Christian Church, and of all the other invented systems of religion, to hold man in ignorance of the Creator, as it is of Governments to hold man in ignorance of his rights. The systems of the one are as false as those of the other, and are calculated for mutual support.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
Revelation is a communication of something which the person to whom the thing id revealed did not know before. For if I have done, a thing, or seen it done, it needs no Revelation to tell me, I have done or seen it done nor enable me to tell it or write it. Revelation therefore cannot be applied to anything done upon earth, of which man is himself actor or witness and consequently all the historical part of the Bible which is almost the whole of it, is not within the meaning and compass of the word Revelation and therefore is not the Word of God.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
Time makes more converts than reason.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
When men yield up the privilege of thinking, the last shadow of liberty quits the horizon.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the word of God. It ... has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind.
-- Thomas Paine
%%
The Sun is a lens made of ice which creates heat by focusing the brilliance of God.
-- Charles Palmer
%%
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
-- Samuel Palmer
%%
... I probably shouldn't point at the word 'reptiles' when I say 'businessmen.'
-- Rajeev Pandey
%%
My plan: To chew some bubblegum and do some research, and we're all out of bubblegum.
-- Rajeev Pandey
%%
It may be doubtful, at first, Whether a person is an enemy or friend. Meat, if not properly digested, becomes poison; But poison, if used rightly, may turn medicinal.
-- Saskya Pandita
%%
The purpose of time is to keep everything from happening all at once. It's not working.
-- Jim Paradis
%%
When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- New England Patriots head coach Bill Parcels
%%
Age before beauty ... And pearls before swine.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
Ducking for apples ... change one letter and it's the story of my life.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Eternity is two people and a ham.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Here in my heart, I am Helen; I'm Aspasia and Hero, at least. I'm Judith, and Jael, and Madame de Stael; I'm Salome, moon of the East. Here in my soul I am Sappho; Lady Hamilton am I, as well. In me R'ecamier vies with Kitty O'Shea, With Dido, and Eve, and poor nell. I'm all of the glamorous ladies At whose beckoning history shook. But you are a man, and see only my pan, So I stay at home with a book.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died
%%
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be a darling at it.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
If all these sweet young things [at Brandeis] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much; But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the people He gave it to.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Into love and out again, Thus I went and thus I go. Spare your voice, and hold your pen: Well and bitterly I know All the songs were ever sung, All the words were ever said; Could it be, when I was young, Someone dropped me on my head?
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway or the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart - And I wish somebody'd shoot him.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
My love, he's mad, and my love, he's fleet, And a wild young wood-thing bore him! The ways are fair to his roaming feet, And the skies are sunlit for him. As sharply sweet to my heart he seems As the fragrance of acacia. My own dear love, he is all my dreams - And I wish he were in Asia.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
One more drink and I'd be under the host.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Say my love is easy had, Say I'm bitten raw with pride, Say I am too often sad - Still behold me at your side. Say I'm neither brave nor young, Say I woo and coddle care, Say the devil touched my tongue - Still you have my heart to wear. But say my verses do not scan, And I get me another man!
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
That woman speaks eight languages and can't say no in any of them.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
The ladies men admire, I've heard, Would shudder at a wicked word. Their candle gives a single light; They'd rather stay at home at night. They do not keep awake till three, Nor read erotic poetry. They never sanction the impure, Nor recognize an overture. They shrink from powders and from paints ... So far, I've had no complaints.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle, And rest's for a clam in a shell, So I'm thinking of throwing the battle - Would you kindly direct me to hell?
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
When asked to use the word 'horticulture' in a sentence: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
Who was there had seen us Wouldn't bid him run? Heavy lay between us All our sires had done. There he was, a-springing Of a pious race, Setting hags a-swinging In a market-place; Sowing turnips over Where the poppies lay; Looking past the clover, Adding up the hay; Shouting through the Spring song, Clumping down the sod; Toadying, in sing-song, To a crabbed god. There I was, that came of Folk of mud and name- I that had my name of Them without a name. Up and down a mountain Streeled my silly stock; Passing by a fountain, Wringing at a rock; Devil-gotten sinners, Throwing back their heads, Fiddling for their dinners, Kissing for their beds. Not a one had seen us Wouldn't help him flee. Angry ran between us Blood of him and me. How shall I be mating Who have looked above- Living for a hating, Dying of a love?
-- Dorothy Rothschild Parker
%%
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
-- Dorothy Parker
%%
The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more.
-- Ed Parker
%%
Wealth and want equally harden the human heart.
-- Theodore Parker
%%
Expenditures rise to meet income.
-- Parkinson's Second Law
%%
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
-- Parkinson's First Law
%%
The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.
-- Cyril Parkinson
%%
As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, in real applications.
-- Dave Parnas
%%
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
-- Ellen Parr
%%
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton
%%
Aldous Huxley once said that an intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex..... "Is it not true that sex degrades women....... if it is any good"
-- Alan Partridge, BBC Radio 4
%%
Success is being nothing but a quote.
-- Andy Partridge
%%
All the miseries of mankind come from one thing, not knowing how to remain alone.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. [Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.]
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
Il vaut mieux savoir quelque chose de tout que tout savoir de quelque chose.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory.
-- Pascal
%%
Law, without force, is impotent.
-- Pascal
%%
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me.
-- Pascal
%%
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
The last thing one knows is what to put first.
-- Pascal
%%
The present is never our goal: the past and present are our means: the future alone is our goal. Thus, we never live but we hope to live; and always hoping to be happy, it is inevitable that we will never be so.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
Things are always at their best in the beginning.
-- Pascal
%%
We conceal it from ourselves in vain... we must always love something. In those matters seemingly removed from love, the feeling is secretly to be found, and man cannot possibly live for a moment without it.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal
%%
Procrastination is the thief of time.
-- John Dos Pasos
%%
Chance favours the trained mind.
-- Pasteur
%%
In the fields of observation chance favours only the prepared mind.
-- Louis Pasteur
%%
There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.
-- Louis Pasteur
%%
Success without honour is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good.
-- Joe Paterno
%%
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson
%%
Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply... For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much.
-- Alan Paton
%%
I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they (the whites of South Africa) have turned to loving, they will find we (the blacks) are turned to hating.
-- Alan Paton
%%
To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man.
-- Alan Paton
%%
What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?
-- Alan Paton
%%
Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die?... Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all our struggle, is beyond all human wisdom.
-- Alan Paton
%%
A civil servant is sometimes like a broken cannon it won't work and you can't fire it.
-- George S Patton, Jr
%%
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
-- General George S Patton
%%
If a man does his best, what else is there?
-- George S Patton
%%
If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S Patton, Jr
%%
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
-- George S Patton
%%
No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards die for their country.
-- George Smith Patton
%%
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton
%%
Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.
-- George S Patton
%%
If a person wants to be atheistic it's his God-given right to be an atheist.
-- Michael Patton
%%
I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
-- Peppermint Patty
%%
Success is the result of behaviour that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behaviour of a successful person.
-- Felix R Paturi
%%
The amount of success is in inverse proportion to the effort in attaining success.
-- Felix R Paturi
%%
The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.
-- Jean Paul
%%
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul, I
%%
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
-- Wolfgang Pauli
%%
The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.
-- Linus Pauling
%%
Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
-- Pat Paulsen
%%
The Phocians were deprived of their share in the Delphic sanctuary and in the Hellenic assembly, and their votes were given by the Amphictyons to the Macedonians.
-- Pausanias, description of Greece
%%
They say that these were the tribes collected by Amphiktyon himself in the Hellenic Assembly: ... the Macedonians joined and the entire Phocian race ... In my day there were thirty members: six each from Nikopolis, Macedonia and Thessaly ...
-- Pausanias
%%
No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese
%%
To know the world one must construct it.
-- Cesare Pavese
%%
Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.
-- Octavio Paz
%%
Getting people to like you is only the other side of liking them.
-- Norman Vincent Peale
%%
It's always too early to quit.
-- Norman Vincent Peale
%%
Listen ... strange women lying around in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
-- Dennis the Peasant
%%
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
-- Dennis the Peasant
%%
Nirvana or lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth can be achieved only through persistent exercise of real love.
-- M Scott Peck
%%
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
-- M Scott Peck
%%
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
-- John Peel
%%
The solution to the problem changes the problem.
-- Peer's Law
%%
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
-- Linus Van Pelt
%%
Life is like nothing I've ever seen.
-- Arthur Penn
%%
No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory, no glory; no cross, no crown.
-- William Penn
%%
The tallest trees are most in the power of the winds, and ambitious men of the blasts of fortune.
-- William Penn
%%
To be innocent is to be not guilty; but to be virtuous is to overcome our evil inclinations.
-- William Penn
%%
Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn
%%
Ambition, idly vain; revenge and malice swell her train.
-- Penrose
%%
Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose
%%
Computers are immensely powerful tools that will achieve even greater powers in the future. Incredibly powerful computers, yes. But as for replicating human intelligence, they are the delusion of the empires's new mind.
-- Roger Penrose
%%
Think, or be damned.
-- Bryan Penton
%%
Life is like riding a bicycle; you don't fall off unless you stop pedalling.
-- Claude Pepper
%%
Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends.
-- Samuel Pepys
%%
Pretty witty Nell.
-- Samuel Pepys
%%
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman
%%
Their [the waiters'] eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - pate, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favourite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes.
-- S J Perelman
%%
Practice is everything.
-- Periander
%%
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
-- Perkin's Postulate
%%
You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on the continuing viability of FORTRAN.
-- Alan Perlis
%%
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.
-- H Ross Perot
%%
He conquers who endures.
-- Persius
%%
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
-- Jeff Pesis
%%
All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control future events.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
In every hierarchy, whether it be government or business, each employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence; every post tends to be filled by an employee incompetent to execute its duties.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
Many live by their wits but few by their wit.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
-- Laurence J Peter
%%
Today, if you are not confused, you are just not thinking clearly.
-- U Peter
%%
To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch
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Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
-- Austin Phelps
%%
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
-- Emo Philips
%%
Christianity is a battle, not a dream.
-- Wendell Phillips
%%
Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.
-- Wendell Phillips
%%
Boredom, after all, is a form of criticism.
-- William Phillips
%%
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
-- Eden Phillpotts
%%
Ah, good taste, what a dreadful thing! Taste is the enemy of creativity.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Anything new, anything worth doing, can't be recognized. People just don't have that much vision.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Computers are useless, they can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Drink to me.
-- Last words of Pablo Picasso
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Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Everyone wants to understand painting. Why is there no attempt to understand the song of the birds?
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso
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God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
I do not seek, I find.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun.
-- Pablo Picasso
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The artist is a receptacle for the emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
We all know that art is not truth. Art is the lie that makes us realize truth ... at least the truth that is given us to understand.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.
-- Pablo Picasso
%%
Up men to your posts! Don't forget today that you are from old Virginia.
-- Gen. George Pickett
%%
First you harmonize, then you customize.
-- Wilson Pickett
%%
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell
%%
Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce
%%
There is one thing even more vital to science than intelligent methods; and that is, the sincere desire to find out the truth, whatever it may be.
-- Charles Sanders Pierce
%%
Success provides more opportunities to say things than the number of things a pundit has worth saying.
-- Douglas Pike
%%
Success is overrated. Incompetence is what we should revere it marks us off from animals.
-- Stephen Pile
%%
Worldwide practice of Conservation and the fair and continued access by all nations to the resources they need are the two indispensable foundations of continuous plenty and of permanent peace.
-- Gifford Pinchot
%%
There is a mortal breed most full of futility. In contempt of what is at hand, they strain into the future, hunting impossibilities on the wings of ineffectual hopes.
-- Pindar
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What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.
-- Albert Pine
%%
Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.
-- Augusto Pinochet
%%
In bed my real love has always been the sleep that rescued me by allowing me to dream.
-- Luigi Pirandello
%%
It is a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth.' and so it goes away. Puzzling.
-- Robert M Pirsig
%%
The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M Pirsig
%%
The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.
-- Alan Ashley-Pitt
%%
Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
-- William Pitt
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The measure of a man is what he does with power.
-- Pittacus
%%
Education belongs preeminently to the church ... neutral or lay schools from which religion is excluded are contrary to the fundamental principles of education.
-- Pope Pius, XI
%%
One Galileo in two thousand years is enough.
-- Pope Pius, XII
%%
A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
-- Max Planck
%%
A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
-- Maxwell Planck
%%
... But when The People's Champion has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader.
-- Plato
%%
And what is good, Phaedrus? And what is not good? Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?
-- Plato
%%
As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have least with are the greatest babblers.
-- Plato
%%
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.
-- Plato
%%
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
-- Plato
%%
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
-- Plato
%%
Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.
-- Plato
%%
Democracy, which is a charming form of government, full of variety and disorder, and dispensing a sort of equality to equals and unequals alike.
-- Plato
%%
God is truth and light his shadow.
-- Plato
%%
He was a wise man who invented God.
-- Plato
%%
I exhort you also to take part in the great combat, which is the combat of life, and greater than every other earthly combat.
-- Plato
%%
Ignorance of all things is an evil neither terrible nor excessive, nor yet the greatest of all; but great cleverness and much learning, if they be accompanied by a bad training, are a much greater misfortune.
-- Plato
%%
Knowledge is true opinion.
-- Plato
%%
Love..... a grave mental disease.
-- Plato
%%
Necessity, who is the mother of invention.
-- Plato
%%
Nothing can be more absurd than the practice that prevails in our country of men and women not following the same pursuits with all their strengths and with one mind, for thus, the state instead of being whole is reduced to half.
-- Plato
%%
Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
-- Plato
%%
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
-- Plato
%%
Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.
-- Plato
%%
Remember how in that communion only, beholding beauty with the eye of the mind, he will be enabled to bring forth, not images of beauty, but realities (for he has hold not of an image but of a reality), and bringing forth and nourishing true virtue to become the friend of God and be immortal, if mortal man may.
-- Plato
%%
The beginning is the most important part of the work.
-- Plato
%%
The life that is unexamined is not worth living.
-- Plato
%%
The passionate are like men standing on their heads; they see all things the wrong way.
-- Plato
%%
The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.
-- Plato
%%
They certainly give very strange names to diseases.
-- Plato
%%
They deem him their worst enemy who tells them the truth.
-- Plato
%%
Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself.
-- Plato
%%
We are bound to our bodies like an oyster is to its shell.
-- Plato
%%
We are twice armed if we fight with faith.
-- Plato
%%
What a poor appearance the tales of poets make when stripped of the colours which music puts upon them, and recited in simple prose.
-- Plato
%%
You'd be shocked at how your neighbour makes love.
-- Plato
%%
"He means well" is useless unless he does well.
-- Plautus
%%
If you lend a person any money, it becomes lost for any purposes of your own. When you ask for it back again, you find a friend made an enemy by your own kindness. If you begin to press still further either you must part with that which you have entrusted, or else you must lose that friend.
-- Plautus
%%
Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
-- Plautus
%%
The gods play games with men as pieces.
-- Titus Maccius Plautus
%%
What is thine is mine, and all mine is thine.
-- Plautus
%%
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake, at the moment.
-- Willis Player
%%
With man, most of his misfortunes are occasioned by man.
-- Pliny, the Elder
%%
The time of departure will be delayed by the square of the number of people involved. Simply stated, if I wish to leave the city at 5 PM, I will most likely depart at 5:01. If I am to meet a friend, the time of departure becomes 5:04. If we were to meet another couple, we won't be on out way before 5:16, and so on.
-- Paul D Plotnick
%%
A man should not allow himself to hate even his enemies, because if you indulge this passion on some occasions, it will rise of itself in others; if you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit of mind, as by degrees will break out upon those who are your friends, or those who are indifferent to you.
-- Plutarch
%%
I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
-- Plutarch
%%
Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch
%%
But he said, `If I were not Alexandros, I should be Diogenes'; that is to say: `If it were not my purpose to combine barbarian things with things Hellenic, to traverse and civilize every continent, to search out the uttermost parts of land and sea, to push the bounds of Macedonia to the farthest Ocean, and to disseminate and shower the blessings of the Hellenic justice and peace over every nation, I should not be content to sit quietly in the luxury of idle power, but I should emulate the frugality of Diogenes. But as things are, forgive me Diogenes, that I imitate Herakles, and emulate Perseus, and follow in the footsteps of Dionysos, the divine author and progenitor of my family, and desire that victorious Hellenes should dance again in India and revive the memory of the Bacchic revels among the savage mountain tribes beyond the Kaukasos...'
-- Plutarchos
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The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be lighted.
-- Plutarchos
%%
When Alexander the Great arrived at Ilion he sacrificed to Athena and offered libations to the Heroes.
-- Plutarchos
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Yet through Alexander, Bactria and the Caucasus learned to revere the gods of the Hellenes ... Alexander established more than seventy cities among savage tribes, and sowed all Asia with Hellenic magistracies ... Egypt would not have its Alexandria, nor Mesopotamia its Seleucia, nor Sogdiana its Prophthasia, nor India its Bucephalia, nor the Caucasus a Hellenic city, for by the founding of cities in these places savagery was extinguished and the worse element, gaining familiarity with the better, changed under its influence.
-- Plutarchos
%%
For my own part, I have never had a though which I could not set down in words with even more distinctness than that which I conceived it.
-- Edgar Allan Poe
%%
I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence.
-- Edgar Allan Poe
%%
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary....
-- Edgar Allan Poe
%%
Sound loves to revel in a Summer night.
-- Poe
%%
Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow - You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream. I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand Grains of golden sand - How few! yet how they creep Through my fingers to the deep, While I weep - while I weep! O God! can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp? O God! can I not save one from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream?
-- Edgar Allan Poe, "A Dream Within a Dream"
%%
That man is not truly brave who is afraid either to seem or to be, when it suits him, a coward.
-- Edgar Allan Poe
%%
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
-- Edgar Allan Poe
%%
To be thoroughly conversant with a Man's heart, is to take our final lesson in the iron-clasped volume of despair.
-- Edgar Allan Poe
%%
Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.
-- Dutch Poet's Society
%%
We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
-- Pogo
%%
We have met the enemy and he is us.
-- Pogo
%%
We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists ... in the loved one, perfection.
-- Sidney Poitier
%%
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack
%%
Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G Pollard
%%
How highly should we honour the Macedonians, who for the greater part of their lives never cease from fighting with the barbarians for the sake of the security of Hellas? For who is not aware that Hellas would have constantly stood in the greater danger, had we not been fenced by the Macedonians and the honourable ambition of their kings?
-- Polybios
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In the past you rivalled the Achaians and the kinsmen Macedonians and their ruler, Philip, about the hegemony and glory, but now that the freedom of the Hellenes is at stake at a war against an alien people (Romans), ... but now if you invite them do not you see that you invite them against your ownself and the whole of Hellas. ... And does it worth to ally with the barbarians against the Epeirotans, the Achaians, the Akarnanians, the Boiotians, the Thessalians, almost all the Hellenes with the exception of the Aitolians who are a wicked nation... So Lakedaimonians it is good to remember your ancestors, ... be afraid of the Romans... and do ally yourselves with the Achaians and Macedonians. And if the most influential amongst yourselves oppose that then stay neutral and do not side with the unjust.
-- Polybios
%%
From the time we first begin to know, We live and learn, but not the wiser grow.
-- Pomfret
%%
Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful.
-- Mme. de Pompadour
%%
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.
-- Georges Pompidou
%%
He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole
%%
'Tis education forms the common mind; Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
'Tis hard to tell if greater want of skill Appear in writing or in judging ill.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
'Tis strange the miser should his cares employ, To gain the riches he can ne'er enjoy.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
A bee is not a busier animal than a blockhead.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep or taste not the Pierian spring. There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain, Whilst drinking deeply sobers it again. from his.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
A man should never be ashamed to admit that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
A wit's a feather, and a chief's a god; An honest man is the noblest work of God.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
All are but parts of one stupendous whole, Whose body Nature is, and God the soul.
-- Pope
%%
An atheist is but a mad ridiculous derider of piety; but a hypocrite makes a sober jest of God and religion; he finds it easier to be upon his knees than to rise to a good action.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie; for an excuse is a lie guarded.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
An honest man's the noblest work of God.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
An obstinate man does not hold opinions, but they hold him.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
At every trifle scorn to take offence, That always shows great pride or little sense.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
But blind to former as to future fate. What mortal knows his pre-existent state?
-- Alexander Pope
%%
But you who seek to give and merit fame, And justly bear a critic's noble name, Be sure yourself and your own reach to know, How far your genius, taste, and learning go; Launch not beyond your depth, but be discreet, And mark that point where sense and dullness meet.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Conceit is to nature what paint is to beauty; it is not only needless, but impairs what it would improve.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Fire in each eye, and papers in each hand, They rave, recite, and madden round the land.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
For forms of government let fools contest; Whate'er is best administer'd is best.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
For modes of faith let graceless zealots fight, His can't be wrong whose life is in the right.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Genuine religion is not so much a matter of feeling as a matter of principle.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Get your enemies to read your works in order to mend them, for your friend is so much your second self that he will judge too like you.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
He who tells a lie is not sensible how great a task he undertakes; for he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain that one.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Heaven from all creatures hides the book of fate, All but the page prescribed, their present fate.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Hither the heroes and nymphs resort, To taste awhile the pleasures of a court; In various talk th'instuctive hours they past, Who gave the ball, or paid the visit last; One speaks the glory of the British Queen, And one describes a charming Indian screen. A third interprets motions, looks and eyes; At every word a reputation dies.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Honour and shame from no condition rise; Act well your part; there all the honesty lies.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Hope springs eternal in the human breast, Man never is, but always to be blest.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Immodest words admit of no defence For want of decency is want of sense.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
In the nice bee what sense so subtly true From pois'ness herbs extract the healing dew?
-- Alexander Pope
%%
In words as fashions the same rule will hold, Alike fantastic if too new or old: Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Is not absence death to those who love?
-- Alexander Pope
%%
It is with our judgments as with our watches; no two go just alike, yet each believes his own.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Know then this truth, enough for man to know Virtue alone is happiness below.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan; The proper study of Mankind is Man.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Love, free as air at sight of human ties, Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Love, the sole disease thou canst not cure.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Lulled in the countless chambers of the brain, our thoughts are linked by many a hidden chain; awake but one, and in, what myriads rise!
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Mingles with the friendly bowl, The feast of reason and the flow of soul.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Of all affliction taught a lover yet 'Tis sure the hardest science to forget.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Oh, sons of earth! attempt ye still to rise, By mountains pil'd on mountains to the skies? Heaven still with laughter the vain toil surveys, And buries madmen in the heaps they raise.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
One who is too wise an observer of the business of others, like one who is too curious in observing the labour of bees, will often be stung for his curiosity.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Order is heaven's first law; and this confest, Some are, and must be, greater than the rest, More rich, more wise; but who infers from hence That such are happier, shocks all common sense.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Our passions are like convulsion fits, which, though they make us stronger for a time, leave us the weaker ever after.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Pleasure, or wrong or rightly understood. Our greatest evil, or our greatest good.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Pour the full tide of eloquence along, Serenely pure, and yet divinely strong.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Slave to no sect, who takes no private road But looks through nature up to nature's God.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Some to conceit alone their taste confine, And glitt'ring thoughts struck out at ev'ry line; Pleased with a work where nothing's just or fit; One glaring chaos and wild heap of wit.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Such laboured nothings, in so strange a style, Amaze the unlearned, and make the learned smile.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Ten censure wrong, for one that writes amiss.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
The general cry is against ingratitude, but the complaint is misplaced, it should be against vanity; none but direct villains are capable of wilful ingratitude; but almost everybody is capable of thinking he hath done more that another deserves, while the other thinks he hath received less than he deserves.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
The ruling passion, be it what it will, The ruling passion conquers reason still.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
The vanity of human life is like a river, constantly passing away, and yet constantly coming on.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
To be angry, is to revenge the fault of others upon ourselves.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
To endeavour to work upon the vulgar with fine sense, is like attempting to hew blocks with a razor.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
To err is human; to forgive, divine.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
To Him no high, no low, no great, no small; He fills, He bounds, connects and equals all!
-- Pope
%%
Truth needs no flowers of speech.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Who shall decide when doctors disagree, And sound casuists doubt like you and me?
-- Alexander Pope
%%
Wit is the lowest form of humour.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
You eat, in dreams, the custard of the day.
-- Alexander Pope
%%
We may become the makers of our fate when we have ceased to pose as its prophets.
-- Karl Popper
%%
One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.
-- Antonio Porchia
%%
A good leader fixes the problem, not the blame.
-- Colonel F Porciello
%%
If we learn for each success, and each failure, and improve ourselves through this process, then, at the end, we will have fulfilled our potential and performed well.
-- Dr Porsche
%%
Life itself is a race, marked by a start, and a finish. It is what we learn during the race, and how we apply it, that determines whether our participation has had particular value.
-- Dr Porsche
%%
The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little.
-- Porterfield
%%
Deploring change is the unchangeable habit of all Englishmen.
-- Raymond Postgate
%%
Why dost thou court that baneful pest, ambition?
-- Potter
%%
Poetry withers and dries out when it leaves music, or at least imagined music, too far behind it. Poets who are not interested in music are, or become, bad poets.
-- Ezra Pound
%%
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone
%%
Everything costs more and take longer.
-- Pournelle's Law of Costs and Schedules
%%
Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
-- Colin Powell
%%
Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell
%%
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
-- John Powell
%%
I was a pilot flying an aeroplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an interview after he was returned to the US
%%
Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager
%%
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
-- Terry Pratchett
%%
Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate.
-- David Pratt
%%
A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I don't know and I don't care.
-- Richard Pratt
%%
In ecology, as in economics, TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch) is intended to warn that every gain is won at some cost. Failure to recognize the 'no free lunch' law causes the buffalo hunter mentality syndrome the unthinking assumption that there will always be plenty because there always has been plenty.
-- Dr Robert W Prehoda
%%
I think that Jean-Paul Sartre's masterwork Rues a Liberte was an allegory of man's search for commitment.
-- Mrs Premise
%%
Don't one of you fire until you see the whites of their eyes.
-- Colonel Samuel Prescott
%%
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley
%%
Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.
-- Jacques Prevert
%%
God can stand being told by Professor Ayer and Marghanita Laski that He doesn't exist.
-- J B Priestley
%%
Many a man is praised for his reserve and so-called shyness when he is simply too proud to risk making a fool of himself.
-- J B Priestley
%%
If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my future crimes.
-- Prince
%%
Life is just a party and parties weren't meant to last.
-- Prince
%%
Madness, we fancy, gave an illtimed birth To grinning laughter and to frantic mirth.
-- Prior
%%
The ends must justify the means.
-- Matthew Prior
%%
They talk most who have the least to say.
-- Matthew Prior
%%
Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
-- Michael Pritchard
%%
When better business decisions are made, economists won't make them.
-- H V Prochnow
%%
Men now worship gold to the neglect of the gods. By gold good faith is banished and justice is sold.
-- Propertius
%%
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
-- Marcel Proust
%%
The only paradise is paradise lost.
-- Marcel Proust
%%
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
-- Marcel Proust
%%
The true paradises are the lost paradises. [Les vrais paradis sont les paradis qu'on a perdus.]
-- Marcel Proust
%%
We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.
-- Marcel Proust
%%
Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous.
-- William Proxmire
%%
The Lord is my light, and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
-- Psalm, 27
%%
I have seen an end of all perfection: but thy commandment is exceeding broad.
-- Psalms, 119:96
%%
If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it.
-- Emerson Pugh
%%
It's all so painfully empty and lonesome.... I don't think I can stand any more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are never missed. The fact there is _nobody_... nobody really.... We come out of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb. What is the point of it all? Who thought up this sickening circle of flesh and blood? We come into the world bleeding and cut and our bones half crushed only to emerge and suffer more torment, mutilation, and then at the last lie down in some hole in the ground forever. Who could have thought it up, I wonder?
-- James Purdy
%%
Righteous indignation is bravery in a closet.
-- John Francis Putnam
%%
God is neither the object of sense, nor subject to passion, but invisible, only intelligible, and supremely intelligent. In His body He is like the light, and in His soul He resembles truth. He is the universal spirit that pervades and diffuses itself over all nature... He is the Reason, the Life, the Motion of all being.
-- Pythagoras
%%
Once a ruler becomes religious, it [becomes] impossible for you to debate with him. Once someone rules in the name of religion, your lives become hell.
-- Colonel Moammar Qaddafi
%%
That friendship will not continue to the end which is begun for an end.
-- Quarles
%%
Happy campers you have been, happy campers you are, and happy campers you will always be.
-- J Danforth Quayle
%%
I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle
%%
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
-- J Danforth Quayle
%%
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
-- J Danforth Quayle
%%
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history... this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle
%%
Religions tend to disappear with man's good fortune.
-- Raymond Queneau
%%
Once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
-- Thomas De Quincey
%%
Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn
%%
Though ambition may be a fault in itself, it is often the mother of virtues.
-- Quintilian
%%
I have seen the future and it's like the present, only longer.
-- Dan Quisenberry
%%
Do you think that you shall enter the Garden of Bliss without such trials as came to those who passed before you?
-- Quran
%%
I'm not really bad. I'm just drawn that way.
-- Jessica Rabbit
%%
God forbid that I should be out of debt, as if, indeed, I could not be trusted.
-- Francois Rabelais
%%
I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais
%%
Now my innocence begins to weigh me down.
-- Francois Rabelais
%%
The very well and abyss of an encyclopaedia.
-- Rabelais
%%
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
-- Comte DeBussy-Rabutin
%%
Often it is fatal to live too long.
-- Jean Racine
%%
I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner
%%
Jesus was a crackpot.
-- Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
%%
In Examinations those who do now wish to know ask questions of those who cannot tell.
-- Sir Walter Raleigh
%%
Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand
%%
Money is the barometer of a society's virtue.
-- Ayn Rand
%%
So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?
-- Ayn Rand
%%
Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think.
-- Ayn Rand
%%
You have no friends among the ambitious.
-- Ron Randall
%%
The closest to perfection a person ever comes, is when he fills out a job application form.
-- Stanley J Randall
%%
People who are smart get into Mensa. People who are really smart look around and leave.
-- James Randi
%%
We have a perfect record on software schedules... we have never made one yet and we are always making excuses.
-- General Bernard Randolph
%%
Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael
%%
One cannot play chess if one becomes aware of the pieces as living souls and of the fact that the Whites and the Blacks have more in common with each other than with the players. Suddenly one loses all interest in who will be champion.
-- Anatol Rapoport
%%
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin
%%
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
-- Mitch Ratliffe
%%
Still lazy after all these beers!
-- Bryan Rawson
%%
Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.
-- Charles Reade
%%
The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone.
-- Lady Stella Reading
%%
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
Facts are stupid things.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
Governments tend not to solve problems, only rearrange them.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
I favour the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
I know I'm not in government any more. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, 1989
%%
I used to say that politics is the second oldest profession, and I have come to know that it bears a gross similarity to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
It's difficult to believe that people are still starving in this country because food isn't available.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
Mr. Clinton, I think you did inhale!
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
-- Ronald Reagan, during a radio microphone test, 1984
%%
Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
The taxpayer ... that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
There are no such things as limits to growth, because there are no limits on the human capacity for intelligence, imagination and wonder.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.
-- Ronald Reagan
%%
A great actor can bring tears to your eyes. But then, so can a mechanic.
-- Donald Reber
%%
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
-- Ambrose Redmoon
%%
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M C Reed
%%
This one step ... choosing a goal and sticking to it ... changes everything.
-- Scott Reed
%%
Go for the moon. If you don't get it, you'll still be heading for a star.
-- Willis Reed
%%
Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.
-- Charley Reese
%%
Hypotheses multiply so as to fill the gaps in factual knowledge concerning biological phenomena.
-- James D Regan
%%
What the hell... nobody said life was safe.
-- William Reicher
%%
Human beings, for all their pretensions, have a remarkable propensity for lending themselves to classification somewhere within neatly labelled categories. Even the outrageous exceptions may be classified as outrageous exceptions!
-- W J Reichmann
%%
Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion.
-- Kate Reid
%%
Plato had slaves... George Washington had slaves... So, do I feel intrinsically better than these two men? Of course I do! They're dead!
-- Todd Andrew Reid
%%
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard
%%
There are places and moments in which one is so completely alone that one sees the world entire.
-- Jules Renard
%%
When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde
%%
The pain passes, but the beauty remains.
-- Pierre Auguste Renoir
%%
A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier
%%
Humour distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
-- Agnes Repplier
%%
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier
%%
A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston
%%
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord.
-- Revelation
%%
How goes the enemy?
-- Frederic Reynolds
%%
The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us.
-- Quentin Reynolds
%%
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.
-- Caroline Rhea
%%
Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart
%%
So little done, so much to do.
-- Cecil Rhodes
%%
The truth is, laughter always sounds more perfect than weeping. Laughter flows in a violent riff and is effortlessly melodic. Weeping is often fought, choked, half strangled, or surrendered to with humiliation.
-- Anne Rice
%%
Its not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.
-- Little Richard
%%
Every friend is to the other a sun, and a sunflower also.
-- Richter
%%
We find God twice once within, once without us: within us as an eye, without us as a light.
-- Richter
%%
Luck is the residue of design.
-- Branch Rickey
%%
If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover
%%
Today the future occupation of all moppets is to be skilled consumers.
-- David Riesman
%%
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux
%%
The successful person is the individual who forms the habit of doing what the failing person doesn't like to do.
-- Donald Riggs
%%
Als das Kind noch Kind war, gab es diese Fragen: Warum bin ich mich, und warum nicht dich? Warum bin ich hier, und warum nicht dort?
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and again it is the best thing in life that each should have everything in himself; his fate, his future, his whole expanse and world.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see each other whole against the sky.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
The deepest experience of the creator is feminine, for it is experience of receiving and bearing.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
%%
Less and greyer hair.
-- Baseball player Cal Ripkin, Jr, describing how he has changed over the course of his consecutive games record
%%
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain just to eat leaves!
-- Michael Rivero
%%
I was born in 1962. True. And the room next to me was 1963.
-- Joan Rivers
%%
Never floss with a stranger.
-- Joan Rivers
%%
The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo
%%
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
-- David Robb's Law of Technological Evolution
%%
Hemingway was a jerk.
-- Harold Robbins
%%
Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins
%%
... To emphasize the afterlife is to deny life. To concentrate on Heaven is to create hell. In their desperate longing to transcend the disorderliness, friction, and unpredictability that pesters life; in their desire for a fresh start in a tidy habitat, german secured by angels, religious multitudes are gambling the only life they may ever have on a dark horse in a race that has no finish line.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
I believe in nothing, everything is sacred. I believe in everything, nothing is sacred.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins
%%
What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples' decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins
%%
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert
%%
I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
-- Stephen Roberts
%%
The world is not a prison house but a kind of spiritual kindergarten where millions of bewildered infants are trying to spell God with the wrong blocks.
-- Edwin Arlington Robinson
%%
Anytime's the right time for waffles!
-- Joel Robinson
%%
A friend is never known until you're in need.
-- Brujah Roch
%%
Be my brother, or I will kill you.
-- Brujah Roch
%%
If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought.
-- Dennis Roch
%%
A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people.
-- Duc de la Rochefoucauld
%%
Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Age is a tyrant, who forbids, at the penalty of life, all the pleasures of youth.
-- Duc de la Rochefoucauld
%%
Hope, deceitful as it is, serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable route.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
If we have not peace within ourselves, it is in vain to seek it from outward sources.
-- La Rochefoucauld
%%
If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than friendship.
-- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is far easier to know men than to know man.
-- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is more disgraceful to distrust than to be deceived by our friends.
-- La Rochefoucauld
%%
It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
It takes great cleverness to be able to conceal one's cleverness.
-- Duc De La Rochefoucauld
%%
Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
The heart is forever making the head its fool.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
%%
There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
There is great ability in knowing how to conceal one's ability.
-- Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld
%%
There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Those only are despicable who fear to be despised.
-- La Rochefoucauld
%%
To establish ourselves in the world, we have to do all we can to appear established. To succeed in the world, we do everything we can to appear successful.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
We always love those who admire us, but we do not always love those whom we admire.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
We do not regret the loss of our friends by reasons of their merit, but because of our needs and for the good opinion that we believed them to have held of us.
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
When we disclaim praise, it is only showing our desire to be praised a second time.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Wit sometimes enables us to act rudely with impunity.
-- Duc de La Rochefoucauld
%%
Only a brave person is willing to honestly admit, and fearlessly to face, what a sincere and logical mind discovers.
-- Rodan, of Alexandria
%%
Time is the fire in which we burn.
-- Gene Roddenberry
%%
There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.
-- Buck Rodgers
%%
Why yes ... a bulletproof vest.
-- Murderer James Rodges, on his final request before the firing squad
%%
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues
%%
I didn't think; I experimented.
-- Wilhelm Roentgen
%%
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else.
-- Rogers
%%
The very essence of the creative is its novelty, and hence we have no standard by which to judge it.
-- Carl R Rogers
%%
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers
%%
Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers
%%
All I know is what I read in the papers.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
-- Will Rogers
%%
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
-- Will Rogers
%%
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Will Rogers
%%
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers
%%
I only believe what I read in the paper.
-- Will Rogers
%%
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers
%%
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
-- Will Rogers
%%
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
-- Will Rogers
%%
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known of any two things we have.
-- Will Rogers
%%
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
-- Will Rogers
%%
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo
%%
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
-- Will Rogers
%%
Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
-- Will Rogers
%%
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
-- Will Rogers
%%
The definition of diplomacy is saying 'Nice doggie, nice doggie' until you can find a stick.
-- Will Rogers
%%
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
-- Will Rogers
%%
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers
%%
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
-- Will Rogers
%%
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
-- Will Rogers
%%
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers
%%
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
-- Will Rogers
%%
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers
%%
We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers
%%
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
-- Will Rogers
%%
You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers
%%
God is in the details.
-- Mies van der Rohe
%%
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland
%%
Ah well! I am their leader, I really ought to follow them. [Eh! Je suis leur chef, il fallait bien les suivre.]
-- Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin
%%
If a man is happy in his work exerting himself to the full extent of his capabilities, and enjoying it I'd say he's a success.
-- William Romain
%%
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
-- Andrew A Rooney
%%
You're living a fool's paradise, Mrs. Bueller.
-- Ed Rooney
%%
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we do. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
Life was meant to be lived and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
You can gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
You must do the things you think you cannot do.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
%%
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt
%%
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt
%%
Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fibre of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel in order to be tough.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
If we do not halt this steady progress of building commissions and regulatory bodies and special legislation like huge inverted pyramids over every one of the simple constitutional provisions, we shall soon be spending many billions of dollars more.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
If you treat people right they will treat you right ... ninety percent of the time.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
More than an end to war, we want an end to the beginnings of all wars.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
The hopes of the Republic cannot forever tolerate either undeserved poverty or self-serving wealth.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts about reality.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt
%%
True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.
-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
%%
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt
%%
Yesterday, December seventh, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.
-- Franklin D Roosevelt
%%
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Don't hit at all if it is honourably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
I'm not a good shot, but I shoot often.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
It is not the critic who counts; not the one who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself or herself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he or she fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his or her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Looked at from the standpoint of the ultimate result, there was little real difference to the Indian whether the land was taken by treaty or by war. ... No treaty could be satisfactory to the whites, no treaty served the needs of humanity and civilization, unless it gave the land to the Americans as unreservedly as any successful war.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Nine-tenths of wisdom consists in being wise in time.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die; and none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life. Both life and death are parts of the same Great Adventure.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold, persistent, experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it, if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
%%
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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The man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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The most ultimately righteous of all wars is a war with savages, though it is apt to be also the most terrible and inhuman. The rude, fierce settler who drives the savage from the land lays all civilized mankind under a debt to him. ... It is of incalculable importance that America, Australia, and Siberia should pass out of the hands of their red, black, and yellow aboriginal owners, and become the heritage of the dominant world races.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution, of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always be done.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly I can!" - and get busy and find out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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Whether the whites won the land by treaty, by armed conflict, or, as was actually the case, by a mixture of both, mattered comparatively little so long as the land was won. It was all-important that it should be won, for the benefit of civilization and in the interests of mankind. It is, indeed, a warped, perverse, and silly morality which would forbid a course of conquest that has turned whole continents into the seats of mighty and flourishing civilized nations. ... It is as idle to apply to savages the rules of international morality which obtain between stable and cultured communities, as it would be to judge the fifth-century English conquest of Britain by the standards of to-day.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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With self-discipline most anything is possible.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
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The function of genius is not to give new answers, but to pose new questions - which time and mediocrity can solve.
-- Hugh Trevor-Roper
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For my own part, regret nothing. Have lived life, free from compromise... and step into the shadow now without complaint.
-- Hermann Rorschach
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Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
-- Billy Rose
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I must plough my furrow alone.
-- Earl of Rosebery
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I find that we all get more legendary as time goes by. "Legend" means, basically, "bullshit."
-- Joel Rosenberg
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I'm a simple man. All I want is enough sleep for two normal men, enough whiskey for three, and enough women for four.
-- Joel Rosenberg
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Miscellaneous is always the largest category.
-- Joel Rosenberg
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Slovotsky's Law Number Thirty-One: Get scared right away; avoid the rush.
-- Joel Rosenberg
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We who are about to die, are going to take one hell of a lot of the bastards with us.
-- Joel Rosenberg
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Whatever you want too much you can't have, so when you really want something, try to want it a little less.
-- Joel Rosenberg
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When the Black Camel comes for me, I'm not going to go kicking and screaming ... I am, however, going to try to talk my way out of it. "No, no, you want the other Walter Slovotsky."
-- Joel Rosenberg
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Yea, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.
-- Joel Rosenberg
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Children love to be alone because alone is where they know themselves, and where they dream.
-- Roger Rosenblatt
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The most delicate component will be dropped.
-- Rosenfield's Regret
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There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
-- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
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Why not spend some time in determining what is worthwhile for us, and then go after that?
-- William Ross
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How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
-- Gioacchino Antonio Rossini
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Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
-- Gioacchino Rossini
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Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.
-- Gioacchino Rossini
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A man is not old as long as he is seeking something.
-- Jean Rostand
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The only things one can admire at length are those one admires without knowing why.
-- Jean Rostand
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Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.
-- Jean Rostand
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A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
-- Leo C Rosten
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I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.
-- Leo Rosten
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If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.
-- Leo Rosten
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If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.
-- Rotarian
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There are certain givens... sex, love, wealth and power.
-- Rourke
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Falsehood has an infinity of combinations, but truth has only one mode of being.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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Good laws lead to the making of better ones; bad ones bring about worse.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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Life may at times be boring, but is it more fun to be dead? -Alcor Life Extension Foundation Living is not breathing but doing.
-- Rousseau
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Man is born free but everywhere is in chains.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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Nothing is less in our power than the heart, and far from commanding we are forced to obey it.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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One loses all the time which he might employ to better purpose.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years but the one with the richest experiences.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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The training of children is a profession, where we must know how to waste time in order to save it.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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To endure is the first thing that a child ought to learn, and that which he will have the most need to know.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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Virtue is a state of war, and to live in it we have always to combat with ourselves.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
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You will find it a very good practice always to verify your references, sir.
-- Martin Routh
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Our experience is composed rather of illusions that of wisdom acquired.
-- Joseph Roux
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Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.
-- Joseph Roux
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We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
-- Joseph Roux
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When unhappy, one doubts everything; when happy, one doubts nothing.
-- Joseph Roux
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We emphasize that we believe in change because we were born of it, we have lived by it, we prospered and grew great by it. So the ;status quo has never been our god, and we ask no one else to bow down before it.
-- Carl T Rowan
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No bounds his headlong, vast ambition knows.
-- Rowe
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A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
-- Helen Rowland
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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland
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Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
-- Helen Rowland
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In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practised.
-- Helen Rowland
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When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland
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When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland
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That's the problem with religion: you beat your way past the clerics, fight your way through the demons, stand before the holy of holies, and when you rip away the veil, there's nothing there but a mirror.
-- Owen Rowley
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By the end, everybody had a label ... pig, liberal, radical, revolutionary ... If you had everything but a gun, you were a radical but not a revolutionary.
-- Jerry Rubin
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The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.
-- Theodore Rubin
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In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
-- Rudin's Law
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner
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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner
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Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner
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A cowardly cur barks more fiercely than it bites.
-- Quintus Curtius Rufus
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I think there is choice possible to us at any moment, as long as we live. But there is no sacrifice. There is a choice, and the rest falls away. Second choice does not exist. Beware of those who talk about sacrifice.
-- Muriel Rukeyser
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In unanimity there may well be either cowardice or uncritical thinking.
-- Donald Rumsfeld
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Keep your sense of humour about your position.
-- Donald Rumsfeld
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It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong ... but that is the way to bet.
-- Damon Runyan
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The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong... but that's the way to be.
-- Damon Runyon
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Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies, for example.
-- John Ruskin
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The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
-- Ruskin
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The persons who remain poor are the entirely foolish, the entirely wise, the idle, the reckless, the humble, the thoughtful, the dull, the imaginative, the sensitive, the wellinformed, the improvident, the irregularly and impulsively wicked, the clumsy knave, the open thief, and the entirely merciful, just, and godly person.
-- John Ruskin
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There is no wealth but life.
-- John Ruskin
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You may either win your peace or buy it; win it by resistance to evil; buy it by compromise with evil.
-- John Ruskin
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Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.
-- Russell
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Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Change is one thing, progress is another. "Change" is scientific, "progress" is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Cruel men believe in a cruel God and use their belief to excuse their cruelty. Only kindly men believe in a kindly God, and they would be kindly in any case.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Every advance in civilization has been denounced while it was still recent.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure.
-- Bertrand Russell
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I did not know I loved you until I heard myself telling so, for one instance I thought, "Good God, what have I said?" and then I knew it was true.
-- Bertrand Russell
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I was told that the Chinese said they would bury me by the Western Lake and build a shrine to my memory. I have some slight regret that this did not happen, as I might have become a god, which would have been very chic for an atheist.
-- Bertrand Russell
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If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give.
-- Bertrand Russell
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In all things it is a good idea to hang a question mark now and then on the things we have taken for granted.
-- Bertrand Russell
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In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors, for, from the time of Jefferson onward, the doctrine that all men are equal applies only upwards, not downwards.
-- Bertrand Russell
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It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates the minds of those who control the teaching of the young.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Man needs, for his happiness, not only the enjoyment of this or that, but hope and enterprise and change.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Many people when they fall in love look for a little haven of refuge from the world, where they can be sure of being admired when they are not admirable, and praised when they are not praiseworthy.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty ... a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth more than ruin, more even than death.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
-- Bertrand Russell
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One must respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
-- Bertrand Russell
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One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.
-- Bertrand Russell
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So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Television allows thousands of people to laugh at the same joke and still remain alone.
-- Bertrand Russell
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The conquering of fear is the beginning of wisdom.
-- Bertrand Russell
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The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists - that is why they invented hell.
-- Bertrand Russell
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The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
-- Bertrand Russell
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The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense of being more than Man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is to be found in mathematics as surely as poetry.
-- Bertrand Russell
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell
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There is much pleasure to be gained in useless knowledge.
-- Bertrand Russell
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There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
-- Bertrand Russell
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Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.
-- Bertrand Russell
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To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
-- Bertrand Russell
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War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
-- Bertrand Russell
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We know too much and feel too little. At least we feel too little of those creative emotions from which a good life springs.
-- Bertrand Russell
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The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.
-- David Russell
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If peace cannot be maintained with honour, it is no longer peace.
-- John Russell
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The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell
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The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
-- Mark Russell
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Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral.
-- Rosalind Russell
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The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford
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We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford
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Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
-- Jim Ryun
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Always design a thing by considering it in its next larger context ... a chair in a room, a room in a house, a house in an environment, an environment in a city plan.
-- Eliel Saarinen
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Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
-- Hassan I Sabbah
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My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others! My manner of thinking stems straight from my considered reflections; it holds with my existence, with the way I am made. It is not in my power to alter it; and were it, I'd not do so.
-- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
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But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
-- Carl Sagan
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Sceptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense.
-- Carl Sagan
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Societies will, of course, wish to exercise prudence in deciding which technologies that is, which applications of science are to be pursued and which not. But without funding basic research, without supporting the acquisition of knowledge for its own sake, our options become dangerously limited.
-- Carl Sagan
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We do not need a leader who confirms our cherished illusions and caters to our prejudices and insecurities. We need a leader who will tell us the truth.
-- Carl Sagan
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Authority and liberty are two incompatible ideas.... Liberty diminishes in proportion as man progresses and becomes civilized.
-- Antonio de Oliveira Salazar
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Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself.
-- St Francis De Sales
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I used to think she was quite intelligent, in my stupidity. The reason I did was because she knew quite a lot about the theatre and plays and literature and all that stuff. If somebody knows quite a lot about those things, it takes you quite a while to find out whether they're really stupid or not. It took me years to find out...
-- Jerome David Salinger
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I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect...
-- Jerome David Salinger
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If she was half as good-looking as she *thinks* she is, she'd be goddam lucky.
-- Jerome David Salinger
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Some of my best friends are children. In fact, all of my best friends are children.
-- Jerome David Salinger
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You raved and bitched when you came home about the stupidity of audiences. The goddam 'unskilled laughter' coming from the fifth row. And that's right, that's right. God knows it's depressing. I'm not saying it isn't. But that's none of your business, really. That's none of your business, Franny. An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's. You have no right to think about those things, I swear to you. Not in any real sense, anyway.
-- Jerome David Salinger
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The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.
-- Jonas Salk, MD
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The glory that goes with wealth is fleeting and fragile; virtue is a possession glorious and eternal.
-- Sallust
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Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.
-- Dan Salomon
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We are dancing on a volcano.
-- Comte De Salvandy
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Ooooohhhh! I hates rabbits.
-- Yosemite Sam
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Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson
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A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.
-- Lord Samuel
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Good questions outrank easy answers.
-- Paul A Samuelson
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Conscience the still small voice that makes you feel still smaller.
-- James A Sanaker
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There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
-- George Sand
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A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg
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I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on the way.
-- Carl Sandburg
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There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
-- Colonel Sanders
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A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.
-- George Santayana
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A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana
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A string of excited, fugitive, miscellaneous pleasures is not happiness; happiness resides in imaginative reflection and judgment, when the picture of one's life, or of human life, as it truly has been or is, satisfies the will, and is gladly accepted.
-- George Santayana
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Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana
%%
Bid, then, the tender light of faith to shine By which alone the mortal heart is led Unto the thinking of the thought divine.
-- George Santayana
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Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds.
-- George Santayana
%%
Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes some method of fortifying the human soul and enabling it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Santayana
%%
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana
%%
Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things: and in that sense it is more ideal and less subject to trouble than marriage is.
-- George Santayana
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Friendship is almost always the union of a part of one mind with a part of another: people are friends in spots.
-- George Santayana
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Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better.
-- George Santayana
%%
Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experience.
-- George Santayana
%%
History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there.
-- George Santayana
%%
I believe in general in a dualism between facts and the ideas of those facts in human heads.
-- George Santayana
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In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the unreflective creation, the truth of immortality.... The most ideal human passion is love, which is also the most absolute and animal and one of the most ephemeral.
-- George Santayana
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It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that he entraps them by the force of the very passion they have suppressed and think themselves superior to.
-- George Santayana
%%
It is not worldly ecclesiastics that kindle the fires of persecution, but mystics who think they hear the voice of God.
-- George Santayana
%%
Love makes us poets and the approach of death makes us philosophers.
-- George Santayana
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Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana
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Men have fiendishly conceived a heaven only to find it insipid, and a hell only to find it ridiculous.
-- George Santayana
%%
Music is essentially useless, as life is: but both lend utility to their conditions.
-- George Santayana
%%
Nothing can so pierce the soul as the uttermost sigh of the body.
-- George Santayana
%%
Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana
%%
Religions are the great fairy tales of conscience.
-- George Santayana
%%
Sanity is a madness put to good uses.
-- George Santayana
%%
Scepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last, in the ripeness of instinct and discretion, it can be safely exchanged for fidelity and happiness.
-- George Santayana
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Scepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.
-- George Santayana
%%
The Bible is literature, not dogma.
-- Santayana
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The family is one of nature's masterpieces.
-- George Santayana
%%
The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana
%%
The Soul is the voice of the body's interests.
-- George Santayana
%%
There is no cure for birth or death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana
%%
Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana
%%
To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.
-- George Santayana
%%
To cement a new friendship, especially between foreigners or persons of a different social world, a spark with which both were secretly charged must fly from person to person, and cut across the accidents of place and time.
-- George Santayana
%%
The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.
-- Alan Saporta
%%
The excellence of good temper is that you offend no one and that you endure other people's annoyance without rancour or seeking retaliation.
-- Sari al Saqati
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Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason
%%
I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Clarie Sargent
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Nothing good ever ends.
-- William Saroyan
%%
Being is. Being is in-itself. Being is what it is.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
Life is nothing until it is lived; but it is yours to make sense of, and the of it is nothing other than the sense you choose.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.
-- Jean-Sartre
%%
Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
So that's what Hell is: I'd never have believed it... Do you remember, brimstone, the stake, the gridiron?... What a joke! No need of a gridiron, Hell is other people.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
When the rich make war it's the poor that die.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
%%
It works better if you plug it in.
-- Sattinger's Law
%%
Animals feed; man eats. Only the man of intellect and judgement knows how to eat.
-- Antheime Brillat Savarin
%%
There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop.
-- Mario Savio
%%
It is wise to learn; it is Godlike to create.
-- John Saxe
%%
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.
-- Rabbi H Schachtel
%%
Enjoy yourself. If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.
-- Jack Schaefer
%%
I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Mayor Jim Scheibel, St Paul MN
%%
Architecture in general is frozen music.
-- Friedrich von Schelling
%%
Experience is directly proportional to the value of equipment destroyed.
-- Carolyn Scheppner
%%
In God we trust... all others we voice verify.
-- Scherker
%%
A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli
%%
Folly, thou conquerest, and I must yield! Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain. Exalted reason, Resplendent daughter of the head divine, Wise foundress of the system of the world, Guide of the stars, who are thou then, if thou, Bound to the tail of folly's uncurb'd steed, Must, vainly shrieking, with the drunken crowd, Eyes open, plunge down headlong in the abyss.
-- Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller
%%
He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times.
-- Johann von Schiller
%%
Peace is rarely denied to the peaceful.
-- Johann von Schiller
%%
The universe is one of God's thoughts.
-- Schiller
%%
Truth exists for the wise, beauty for the feeling heart.
-- Johann von Schiller
%%
When the gods were more manlike, Men were more godlike.
-- Schiller
%%
The genius of impeachment lay in the fact that it could punish the man without punishing the office.
-- Arthur Schlesinger, Jr
%%
Talent means energy and perseverance, and nothing more.
-- Heinrich Schliemann
%%
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
-- Schmidt's Observation
%%
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
-- Schmidt's Law
%%
What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil's view, the simultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American life. First, a base of technology must exist from which to do the thing to be done. Second, a period of national uneasiness about America's place in the scheme of human activities must exist. Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses the national attention upon the direction to proceed. Finally, an articulate and wise leader must sense these first three conditions and put forth with words and action the great thing to be accomplished. The motivation of young Americans to do what needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of conditions.... The Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John Kennedys appear. We must begin to create the tools of leadership which they, and their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us onward and upward.
-- Senator Harrison H Schmidt, New Mexico
%%
I think, therefore I am - I think.
-- Howard Schneider
%%
All truth passes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Second it is violently opposed. Third it is accepted as being self evident.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer
%%
The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
Treat a work of art like a prince. Let it speak to you first.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer
%%
A woman, like music, should have a good end.
-- F Schubert
%%
What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?
-- Robert Schuller
%%
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz
%%
Try not to have a good time... this is supposed to be educational.
-- Charles Schulz
%%
The ballot is stronger than bullets.
-- Joseph Schumpeter
%%
A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.
-- Charles M Schwab
%%
I have probably purchased fifty 'hot tips' in my career, maybe even more. When I put them all together, I know I am a net loser.
-- Charles Schwab
%%
Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.
-- Jeremy Schwartz
%%
The entrepreneur is essentially a visualizer and an actualizer... He can visualize something, and when he visualizes it he sees exactly how to make it happen.
-- Robert L Schwartz
%%
A man can do only what he can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day.
-- Albert Schweitzer
%%
Man has lost the capacity to foresee and to forestall. He will end by destroying the earth.
-- Albert Schweitzer
%%
There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer
%%
When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.
-- Scott's Second Law
%%
Only in time of peace can the wastes of capitalism be tolerated.
-- F R Scott
%%
The best diplomat I know is a fully armed phaser bank.
-- Montgomery Scott
%%
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-- Sir Walter Scott
%%
Look back, and smile on perils past.
-- Sir Walter Scott
%%
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!
-- Sir Walter Scott
%%
The willow which bends to the tempest, often escapes better than the oak which resists it; and so in great calamities, it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner than those of a loftier character.
-- Walter Scott
%%
At present I would prefer not to be a little bit reasonable.
-- Bartleby the Scrivener
%%
It is difficult to imagine that the belief in a single jealous male god of uncertain temper represents a "higher" spiritual state than the belief in many gods, male and female alike, each an embodiment of some aspect of human life as it can be empirically known and experienced.
-- Vincent Scully
%%
Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
-- Chief Seattle
%%
This whole thing could have been avoided with a little advanced planning.
-- John Sechrest
%%
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist.....
-- Last words of General John B Sedgwick
%%
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
-- Erich Segal
%%
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
%%
Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
%%
Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.
-- Haile Selassie
%%
They that govern most make the least noise. You see, when they row in a barge, they do that drudgery work, slash and puff, and sweat, but he that governs sits quietly at the stern, and is scarce seen to stir.
-- Selden
%%
Old friends are best. King James used to call for his old shoes; they were easiest to his feet.
-- John Seldon
%%
Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this.
-- Peter Sellers
%%
A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand. [Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.]
-- Seneca
%%
All art is but imitation of nature.
-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
%%
Call it Nature, Fate, Fortune; all these are names of the one and selfsame God.
-- Seneca
%%
Fate leads the willing and drags along the unwilling.
-- Seneca
%%
Friendship always benefits; love sometimes injures.
-- Seneca
%%
I would offend with truth than please with adulation.
-- Seneca
%%
If a man knows not what harbour he seeks, any wind is the right wind.
-- Seneca
%%
If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable.
-- Seneca
%%
It is better, of course, to know useless things than to know nothing.
-- Seneca
%%
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
-- Seneca
%%
It is the constant fault and inseparable evil quality of ambition, that it never looks behind it.
-- Seneca
%%
It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god.
-- Seneca
%%
Light troubles speak; the weighty are struck dumb.
-- Seneca
%%
Shun no toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other; yet do not devote yourself to one branch exclusively. Strive to get clear notions about all. Give up no science entirely; for science is but one.
-- Seneca
%%
The good things of prosperity are to be wished; but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.
-- Seneca
%%
There are none more abusive to others than they that lie most open to i themselves; but the humour goes round, and he that laughs at me today will have somebody to laugh at him tomorrow.
-- Seneca
%%
There is none made so great, but he may both need the help and service, and stand in fear of the power and unkindness, even of the meanest of mortals.
-- Seneca
%%
We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca
%%
What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.
-- Seneca
%%
Where talent is a dwarf, self-esteem is a giant.
-- J Petit-Senn
%%
Same religion that saves - Damns You.
-- Sepultura
%%
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-- Rod Serling
%%
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
-- Sevareid's Law
%%
Fear is the tax that the conscience pays to guilt.
-- Sewell
%%
The joy that isn't shared dies young.
-- Anne Sexton
%%
We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz
%%
Words may be false and full of art; Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-- Thomas Shadwell
%%
The greatest of fools is he who imposes on himself, and in greatest concern thinks certainly he knows that which he has least studied, and of which he is profoundly ignorant.
-- Shaftesbury
%%
'Tis a common proof, that lowliness is a Edward Young ambition's ladder, whereto the climber upwards turns his face; but when he once attains the utmost round, he then unto the ladder turns his back, looks into the clouds scorning the base degrees by which he did ascend.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
'Tis in my memory lock'd, And you yourself shall keep the key of it.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
'Tis one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
'Tis the mind that makes the body rich.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
... and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
... the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought...
-- William Shakespeare
%%
... then must you speak of one that loved not wisely, but too well.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
... then the world's mine oyster.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
A good wench, give it me!
-- William Shakespeare
%%
A lion among ladies is a most fearful thing; for there is not a more fearful wildfowl than your lion living.
-- Shakespeare
%%
A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties nobly are subdued, and neither party loser.
-- Shakespeare
%%
A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Action is eloquence.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Adversity's sweet milk, philosophy.
-- Shakespeare
%%
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety: other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Ah, that death would annihilate it, it would be infinitely preferable to the world as it is. Ah, but there lies the rub!
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy...
-- William Shakespeare
%%
All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Ambition's like a circle on the water, which never ceases to enlarge itself, 'till by broad spreading it disperse to nought.
-- Shakespeare
%%
Angels and ministers of grace defend us. Be thou a spirit of health, or goblin damned, Bring with thee airs from heaven, or blasts from hell, Be thy intents wicked, or charitable, Thou com'st in such a questionable shape, That I will speak to thee.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; They kill us for their sport.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Assume a virtue, if you have it not.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Be just and fear not: Let all the ends thou aim'st at be thy country's, thy God's, and truth's.
-- Shakespeare
%%
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Brevity is the soul of wit.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
But then I sigh, and with a piece of scripture, Tell them that God bids us do good for evil. And thus I clothe my naked villainy With odd old ends stolen forth of holy writ, And seem I a saint, when most I play the Devil.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Doubt thou the stars are fine Doubt that the sun doth move Doubt truth be a liar But never doubt I love.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Dreams, indeed, are ambition; for the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream. And I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that it is but a shadow's shadow.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Each present joy or sorrow seems the chief.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
False face must hide what the false heart doth know.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Farewell, fair cruelty.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Fierce extremes In their continuances will not feed themselves.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
For my part, it was Greek to me.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Friendship is constant in all other things Save in the office and affairs of love.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
God made man, and therefore let him pass for man.
-- Shakespeare
%%
Gold is worse poison to a man's soul, doing more murders in this loathsome world, than any mortal drug.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he would not in mine age Have left me naked to mine enemies.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
He is not great who is not greatly good.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
He makes a swan-like end, fading in music.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
He that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
He that wants money, means and content, is without three good friends.
-- Shakespeare
%%
He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
He was my friend, faithful, and just to me; But Brutus says, he was ambitious, And Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome, Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill. Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept. Ambition should be made of sterner stuff, Yet Brutus says, he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Here is my journey's end, here is my butt; And very sea-mark of my utmost sail.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.
-- Shakespeare
%%
How many cowards, whose hearts are all false As stairs of sand, wear yet upon their chins The beards of Hercules, and frowning Mars; Who inward search'd have livers white as milk?
-- Shakespeare
%%
How now, wit! Whither wander you?
-- William Shakespeare
%%
How sour sweet music is when time is broke and no proportion kept! So is it in the music of men's lives.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I bear a charmed life.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I came, I saw, I conquered.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I do desire we may be better strangers.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I had rather be a toad And live upon the vapor of a dungeon Than keep a corner in the thing I love For others' uses. O monstrous world! Take note, take note, o world, To be direct and honest is not safe!
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I had rather have a fool make me merry, than experience make me sad.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
I will praise any man that will praise me.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
-- William Shakespeare
%%
In time we hate that which we often fear.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
It is a kind of good deed to say well; and yet words are not deeds.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
It is meant that noble minds keep ever with their likes; for who so firm that cannot be seduced.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
It is not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?
-- Shakespeare
%%
It is the mind that makes the body rich; and as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds, so honour peereth in the meanest habit.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Juliet: What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Last scene of all that ends this strange, eventful history, is second childishness, and mere oblivion; sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes, Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Love is a spirit of all compact of fire.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Love sees with the heart and not the mind; therefore, winged cupid is painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
My words fly up, my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Never, never, never, never, never! Pray you, undo this button.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
No legacy is so rich as honesty.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
O! for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest; and despair most sits.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Oh, thou hast a damnable iteration, and art indeed able to corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me Hal, God forgive thee for it. Before I knew thee Hal, I knew nothing, and now am I, if a man should speak truly, little better than one of the wicked.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more!
-- Shakespeare
%%
Ophelia: 'Tis brief my lord? Hamlet: As a woman's love.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Reputation, reputation, reputation! Oh, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Rest, rest, perturbed spirit!
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, / Romeo? / Deny thy father, and refuse thy name...
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Simply the thing I am shall make me live.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Some men never seem to grow old. Always active in thought, always ready to adopt new ideas, they are never chargeable with foggyism. Satisfied, yet ever dissatisfied, settled, yet ever unsettled, they always enjoy the best of what is, are the first to find the best of what will be.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Spirits of peace, where are ye? Are ye all gone? And leave me here in wretchedness behind ye?
-- Shakespeare
%%
Strong reasons make strong actions.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; the thief doth fear each bush an officer.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Sweet are the uses of adversity, Which like the toad, ugly and venomous, Wears yet a precious jewel in his head; And this our life, exempt from public haunt, Find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, And good in everything.
-- Shakespeare
%%
That which in mean men we entitle patience Is pale cold cowardice in noble breasts.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The attempt and not the deed confounds us.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hooks of steel; but do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new hatched, unfledged comrade.
-- Shakespeare
%%
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The miserable have no other medicine But only hope.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The wheel is come full circle.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
There are things on heaven and earth, Horatio, Man was not meant to know.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
There is a history in all men's lives.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
There's not one wise man among twenty will praise himself.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
They do not love that do not show their love.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
They say miracles are past.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
This above all; to thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
This fellow is wise enough to play the fool; and, to do that well, craves a kind of wit.
-- Shakespeare
%%
This is the very coinage of your brain.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
This music crept by me upon the waters, allaying both their fury, and my passion, with its sweet air.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Those that are good manners at the court are as ridiculous in the country, as the behaviour of the country is most mockable at the court.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
To business that we love, we rise betime and go to't with delight.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
To climb steep hills requires slow pace at first.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
To die, to sleep ... To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause; there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
To morrow, and to morrow, and to morrow, Creeps in the petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way of dusty death. Out, out brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Truth is truth To the end of reckoning.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Vaulting ambition which o'erleaps itself.
-- Shakespeare
%%
We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep. from the Tempest, either Prospero said it to Ferdinand and Miranda at the play performed by the spirits, or Gonzalo said it someplace.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
We know what we are, but not what we may be.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
We, at the height, are ready to decline.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet to me what is this quintessence of dust?
-- William Shakespeare
%%
What's in a name? That which we call a rose....
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing; 'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands; But he that filches from me my good name Robs me of that which not enriches him, And makes me poor indeed.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Why may not that be the skull of a lawyer?
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Why this is very midsummer madness.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Willst thou show the wealth of thy wit in an instant?
-- William Shakespeare
%%
Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.
-- Shakespeare
%%
Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart.
-- William Shakespeare
%%
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present.
-- Shanahan's Law
%%
A critic is one who leaves no turn unstoned.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A miracle, my friend, is an event which creates faith. That is the purpose and nature of miracles. Frauds deceive. An event which creates faith does not deceive: therefore it is not a fraud, but a miracle.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
A strange lady giving an address in Zurich wrote him [Shaw] a proposal, thus: `You have the greatest brain in the world, and I have the most beautiful body; so we ought to produce the most perfect child.' Shaw asked: `What if the child inherits my body and your brains?'
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Alcohol is a very necessary article. It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
All my life affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Anarchism is a game at which the police can beat you.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Any person under the age of thirty, who, having any knowledge of the existing social order, is not a revolutionist, is an inferior.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Common people do not pray, my lord: they only beg.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
England and America are two countries separated by the same language.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Englishmen never will be slaves: they are free to do whatever the Government and public opinion allow them to do.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Every man is a revolutionist concerning the thing he understands. For example, every person who has mastered a profession is a sceptic concerning it, and consequently a revolutionist.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Few of us have vitality enough to make any of our instincts imperious.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Gin was mother's milk to her.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Go on writing plays, my boy. One of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his secretary, `Is there a play from Shaw this morning?' and when she says `No,' he will say, `Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish.' And that's your chance, my boy.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
He who has never hoped can never despair.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Higgins: Doolittle, you're either an honest man or a rogue. Doolittle: A little of both, Guv'nor. Like the rest of us, a little of both.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
How can what an Englishman believes be heresy? It is a contradiction in terms.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I am not a teacher... only a fellow traveller of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead-... ahead of myself as well as of you.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I don't believe in morality. I am a disciple of Bernard Shaw.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I never apologize!
-- G Bernard Shaw
%%
I never resist temptation because I have found things that are bad for me do not tempt me.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I see little divinity about them or you. You talk to me of Christianity when you are in the act of hanging your enemies. Was there ever such blasphemous nonsense!
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
I want to sleep...
-- Last words of George Bernard Shaw
%%
I was a freethinker before I knew how to think.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience?
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If parents would only realize how they bore their own children!
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not an example.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If you strike a child take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire; you will what you imagine; and at last you create what you will.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
In heaven an angel is nobody in particular.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Is the devil to have all the passions as well as all the good tunes?
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
It's all the young can do for the old, to shock them and keep them up to date.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Life is too short for men to take it seriously.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Martyrdom is the only way a person can become famous without ability.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich. Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Money is indeed the most important thing in the world; and all the sound and successful personal and national morality should have this fact for its basis.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Must then a Christ perish in torment in every age to save those that have no imagination?
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
My aunt died of influenza: so they said. But it's my belief they done the old woman in.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Napoleon: What shall we do with this soldier, Guiseppe? Everything he says is wrong. Guiseppe: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
No eggs! No eggs!! Thousand thunders, man, what do you mean by no eggs?
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Nobel Prize money is a lifebelt thrown to a swimmer who has already reached the shore in safety.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Nobody can say a word against Greek: it stamps a man at once as an educated gentleman.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Of all the damnable waste of human life that ever was invented, clerking is the worst.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in the world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Pickering: Have you no morals, man? Doolittle: Can't afford them, Governor. Neither could you if you was as poor as me.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read made him mad.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Sherlock Holmes was a drug addict without a single amiable trait.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Swindon: What will history say? Burgoyne: History, sir, will tell lies as usual.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Take care to get what you like, or you will be forced to like what you get.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The art of government is the organization of idolatry.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The liars punishment is, not in the least that he cannot be believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The thought of two thousand people munching celery at the same time horrified me.
-- George Bernard Shaw, Explaining why had turned down an invitation to a vegetarian gala dinner
%%
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
They all thought she was dead; but my father he kept ladling gin down her throat till she came to so sudden that she bit the bowl of the spoon.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
To be in hell is to drift; to be in heaven is to steer.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Vitality in a woman is a blind fury of creation. She sacrifices herself to it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Well, sir, you never can tell. Thats a principle in life with me, sir. If youll excuse me having such a thing, sir.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
What Englishmen will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the substitution of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete fictitious for the contemporary real.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
You see things and say 'Why?'; but I dream things that never were and I say 'Why not?'
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
You see things as they are and ask, 'Why?' I dream things as they never were and ask, 'Why not?'
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw
%%
If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.
-- Pam Shaw
%%
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer
%%
If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed
%%
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
-- Gail Sheehy
%%
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
-- Fulton J Sheen
%%
Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded.
-- Fulton J Sheen
%%
Just as there are three R's there are also three A's of business life. They are: Ability, Ambition, and Attitude. Ability establishes what a worker does and will bring him a paycheck. Ambition determines how much he does and will get him a raise. Attitude guarantees how well he does.
-- Wilbert E Sheer
%%
Airy ambition, soaring high.
-- Sheffield
%%
An old, mad, blind, despis'd, and dying king, Princes, the dregs of their dull race, who flow Through public scorn... mud from a muddy spring, Rulers who neither see, nor feel, nor know, But leech-like to their fainting country cling, Till they drop, blind in blood, without a blow, A people starv'd and stabb'd in the untill'd field, An army, which liberticide and prey Makes as a two-edg'd sword to all who wield, Golden and sanguine laws which tempt and slay, Religion Christless, Godless... a book seal'd, A Senate... Time's worst statute unrepeal'd, Are graves, from which a glorious Phantom may Burst, to illume our tempestuous day.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley, "England in 1819"
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I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed. And on the pedestal these words appear: "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Ozymandias"
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Poetry is the record of the best and happiest moments of the happiest and best minds.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
%%
Rough wind, that moanest loud Grief too sad for song; Wild wind, when sullen cloud Knells all the night long; Sad storm, whose tears are vain, Bare woods, whose branches strain, Deep caves and dreary main, - Wail, for the world's wrong!
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
%%
Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
%%
We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybill Shepherd
%%
For in religion as in friendship, they who profess most are ever the least sincere.
-- Sheridan
%%
If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.
-- Gen. William Sherman, on the request that he accept the Republican presidential nomination
%%
God is real unless declared integer.
-- Allen W Sherzer
%%
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields
%%
Alas, reason is not effective against faith, or against searches for miracles by the desperate.
-- Dr Michael B Shimkin
%%
There is no armour against fate; Death lays his icy hand on kings.
-- James Shirley
%%
Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.
-- John Shirley
%%
Immortality... a fate worse than death.
-- Edgar A Shoaff
%%
Making music should not be left to the professionals.
-- Michelle Shocked
%%
Politics and music are too important to leave to professionals.
-- Michelle Shocked
%%
Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore
%%
The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short
%%
Cats don't adopt people. They adopt refrigerators.
-- Solomon Short
%%
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
-- Solomon Short
%%
I'm all in favour of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Solomon Short
%%
Life is to the universe as rust is to iron. We are, in the final judgment (on a planetary scale, certainly), nothing more than an advanced form of corrosion, just one more way for the universe to wear itself out a little faster.
-- Solomon Short
%%
Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?
-- Solomon Short
%%
The moment in which you confront your own death is the moment in which you are most truly alive.
-- Solomon Short
%%
When you pass the buck, don't ask for change.
-- Solomon Short
%%
Peace is not merely a vacuum left by the ending of wars. It is the creation of two eternal principles, justice and freedom.
-- James Shotwell
%%
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
-- Wil Shriner
%%
Success is not forever, and failure is not fatal.
-- Don Shula
%%
I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.
-- Jane Siberry
%%
What's my point? The point is at the end of my dagger, and if you aren't very careful, I'll make it quite clear.
-- Robin Siddique
%%
Be not deceived by the appearance of things.
-- LaSombra Sidieu
%%
Our erected wit maketh us to know what perfection is.
-- Sir Philip Sidney
%%
To be ambitious of true honour and of the real glory and perfection of our nature is the very principle and incentive of virtue; but to be ambitious of titles, place, ceremonial respects, and civil pageantry, is as vain and little as the things are which we court.
-- Philip Sidney
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I am the Roman Emperor, and am above grammar.
-- Emperor Sigismund
%%
If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.
-- Silver's law
%%
Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them.
-- Charles Simic
%%
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right.
-- Edward Simmons
%%
Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
-- Neil Simon
%%
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon
%%
I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson
%%
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid centre.
-- Homer Simpson
%%
Does whisky count as beer?
-- Homer Simpson
%%
Lemme show you how to put on a tie: the hook goes over the top, and these things go in there.
-- Homer Simpson
%%
When will I learn? The answer to my problems isn't at the bottom of a bottle... it's on TV!
-- Homer Simpson
%%
What are politicians going to tell people when the Constitution is gone and we still have a drug problem?
-- William Simpson
%%
Fascism is capitalism plus murder.
-- Upton Sinclair
%%
The fact that mankind has the capability to discern logic from myth, and the fact that religion asks us to ignore this ability and accept faith is one of the many contradictions that make any faith-based organizations simple ludicrous.
-- Vic Sinclair
%%
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
-- Michael Sinz
%%
Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame.
-- M G Siriam
%%
I wish the Government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
-- Edith Sitwell
%%
The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.
-- Edith Sitwell
%%
I have always said that if I were a rich man I would employ a professional praiser.
-- Osbert Sitwell
%%
Youth is about sex, drugs, pizza, and more sex.
-- Nikki Sixx
%%
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B F Skinner
%%
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B F Skinner
%%
Women's virtue is man's greatest invention.
-- Cornelia Otis Skinner
%%
Given any problem containing 'n' equations, there will be 'n' + 1 unknowns.
-- Skip's Lament
%%
What time is the next swan?
-- Leo Slezak
%%
All's fair in love and war.
-- Francis Edward Smedley
%%
You are looking as fresh as paint.
-- F E Smedley
%%
The robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster.
-- Adam Smith
%%
A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.
-- Alexander Smith
%%
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.
-- Alexander Smith
%%
Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first time or the last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
-- Betty Smith
%%
A person over age 65 who drinks says that his doctor recommends it.
-- Bob Smith
%%
If at first you don't succeed, you must be doing something wrong.
-- Charles Merrill Smith
%%
The spotted owl isn't really important because it's only a subspecies.
-- Denny Smith
%%
I cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.
-- E I Smith, Captain of the Titanic
%%
A slight touch of friendly malice and amusement towards those we love keeps our affections for them from turning flat.
-- Logan P Smith
%%
It is through the cracks in our brains that ecstasy creeps in.
-- Logan Pearsall Smith
%%
The lusts and greeds of the body scandalize the Soul; but it has to come to heel.
-- Logan Pearsall Smith
%%
The mere process of growing old together will make the slightest acquaintance seem a bosom friend.
-- Logan Pearsall Smith
%%
Those who set out to serve both God and Mammon soon discover that there is no God.
-- Logan Pearsall Smith
%%
What I like in a good author is not what he says but what he whispers.
-- Logan Pearsall Smith
%%
A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl, and, scarce-suspected, animate the whole.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
What you don't know would make a great book.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times worse than nothing.
-- Sydney Smith
%%
Religion..... Just say "no".
-- Tim Smith
%%
We must remember that a right lost to one is lost to all.
-- William Reece Smith, Jr
%%
I mean, what's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted 'round in buses surrounded by sweaty, mindless oafs from Ketching and Boventry in their cloth caps and their bardigans...
-- Mr Smoketoomuch
%%
One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
-- Ruth Smythers
%%
If unix is the face of the future I wanna go back to quill pens.
-- Joseph Snipp
%%
If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a restaurant.
-- Snoopy
%%
Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope.
-- Carrie P Snow
%%
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper
%%
Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.
-- Ralph W Sockman
%%
Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.
-- Socrates
%%
By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates
%%
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
-- Socrates
%%
He is richest who is content with the least.
-- Socrates
%%
He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.
-- Socrates
%%
I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates
%%
I know I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
-- Socrates
%%
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
-- Socrates
%%
I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.
-- Socrates
%%
If a man is proud of his wealth, he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
-- Socrates
%%
If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.
-- Socrates
%%
Let him that would move the world first move himself.
-- Socrates
%%
Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.
-- Socrates
%%
Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity.
-- Socrates
%%
The fewer our wants, the nearer we resemble the gods.
-- Socrates
%%
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
-- Socrates
%%
The unexamined life is not worth living.
-- Socrates
%%
There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.
-- Socrates
%%
Two simple rules for life: Know Thyself. Take nothing in Excess.
-- Socrates
%%
What you cannot enforce, do not command.
-- Socrates
%%
Will you remember to pay the debt? [Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius?]
-- Last words of Socrates
%%
Wind buffs up empty bladders; opinion, fools.
-- Socrates
%%
Wisdom begins in wonder.
-- Socrates
%%
In my hut this spring, there is nothing - there is everything!
-- Sodo
%%
Chide a friend in private and praise him in public.
-- Solon
%%
It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it.
-- Sophocles
%%
One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.
-- Sophocles
%%
One's own escape from troubles makes one glad; but bringing friends to trouble is hard grief.
-- Sophocles
%%
Our happiness depends on wisdom all the way.
-- Sophocles
%%
Rather fail with honour than succeed by fraud.
-- Sophocles
%%
Success is dependent on effort.
-- Sophocles
%%
The gods plant reason in mankind, of all good gifts the highest.
-- Sophocles
%%
Innocence is like polished armour; it adorns and defends.
-- Robert South
%%
Ambition is an idol, on whose wings Great minds are carried only to extreme; To be sublimely great or to be nothing.
-- Southey
%%
Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live; Not where I love, but where I am, I die.
-- Robert Southwell
%%
Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea ... massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
-- Gene Spafford
%%
As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape.
-- John Lancaster Spalding
%%
The doubt of an earnest, thoughtful, patient and labourious mind is worthy of respect. In such doubt may be found indeed more faith than in half the creeds.
-- John Lancaster Spalding
%%
Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of life it may occur.
-- Muriel Spark
%%
Pray as if everything depended on God, and work as if everything depended upon man.
-- Francis Cardinal Spellman
%%
Programming graphics in X is like finding the square root of PI using Roman numerals.
-- Henry Spencer
%%
We're thinking about upgrading from SunOS 4.1.1 to SunOS 3.5.
-- Henry Spencer
%%
How often misused words generate misleading thoughts.
-- Herbert Spencer
%%
Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations.
-- Herbert Spencer
%%
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer
%%
Science is organized knowledge.
-- Herbert Spencer
%%
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.
-- Herbert Spencer
%%
The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past, he is a parent of the future.
-- Herbert Spencer
%%
Whatever foster militarism makes for barbarism; whatever fosters peace makes for civilization.
-- Herbert Spencer
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I call him free who is led solely by reason.
-- Spinoza
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I would warn you that I do not attribute to nature either beauty or deformity, order or confusion. Only in relation to our imagination can things be called beautiful or ugly, well-ordered or confused.
-- Benedict Spinoza
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Peace is not the absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, and justice.
-- Spinoza
%%
The will of God is the sanctuary of ignorance.
-- Spinoza
%%
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Benjamin Spock
%%
What is the use of physicians like myself trying to help parents to bring up children healthy and happy, to have them killed in such numbers for a cause that is ignoble?
-- Benjamin Spock
%%
Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.
-- Robert D Sprecht, Rand Corp.
%%
Start slow and taper off.
-- Marathon runner Walt Stack
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We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Madame De Stael
%%
Wit lies in the likeness of things that are different, and in the difference of things that are alike.
-- Madame de Stael
%%
One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
-- Josef Stalin
%%
The government is extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts down anything he damn well pleases.
-- Sir Josiah Stamp
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If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
-- Rob Stampfli
%%
Anyone who lives within his means suffers from a lack of imagination.
-- Lionel Stander
%%
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
-- Robert L Stanfield
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Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford
%%
Good humour is the health of the soul, sadness its poison.
-- Stanislaus
%%
There are glimpses of heaven to us in every act, or thought, or word, that raises us above ourselves.
-- Arthur P Stanley
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Who, I ask you, can take dare take on himself the rights, the duties, the responsibilities of another human soul?
-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton
%%
Live Free or Die; Death is not the worst of evils.
-- General John Stark
%%
Money is the most egalitarian force in society. It confers power on whoever holds it.
-- Roger Starr
%%
The philosophers of the Middle Ages demonstrated both that the Earth did not exist and also that it was flat. Today they are still arguing about whether the world exists, but they no longer dispute about whether it is flat.
-- Vilhjalmur Stefansson
%%
Logic is the soul of wit, not of wisdom; that's why wit is funny.
-- Lincoln Steffens
%%
You know... that a blank wall is an appalling thing to look at. The wall of a museum ... a canvas ... a piece of film ... or a guy sitting in front of a typewriter. Then, you start out to do something ... that vague thing called creation. The beginning strikes awe within you.
-- Edward Steichen
%%
Nothing happens by itself... it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.
-- Ben Stein
%%
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.
-- Ben Stein
%%
Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.
-- Francis Patiky Stein
%%
It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.
-- Gertrude Stein
%%
What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Last words of Gertrude Stein
%%
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
-- Steinbach
%%
No one wants advice ... only corroboration.
-- John Steinbeck
%%
Mosaic is the 1990's equivalent of forcing friends to sit through slides of your trip to Florida - painful for everyone but the host.
-- Steve G Steinberg
%%
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem
%%
Logic is in the eye of the logician.
-- Gloria Steinem
%%
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem
%%
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
-- Gloria Steinem
%%
The journalistic vision sharpens to the point of maximum impact every event, every individual and social configuration; but the honing is uniform.
-- George Steiner
%%
Fervid atheism is usually a screen for repressed religion.
-- Wilhelm Stekel
%%
All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.
-- Marie Henri Beyle Stendhal
%%
God's only excuse is that he does not exist.
-- Stendhal
%%
One can acquire everything in solitude except character.
-- Stendhal
%%
Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
-- Casey Stengel
%%
We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren't drinkin' aren't hittin'.
-- Casey Stengel
%%
Women... are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
-- James Stephens
%%
I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet.
-- Bruce Sterling
%%
Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern
%%
The only way to succeed is to make people hate you. That way, they remember you.
-- von Sternberg
%%
The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
-- Sterne
%%
If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens
%%
That's a hard question. I don't answer hard questions.
-- Justice John Paul Stevens
%%
Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.
-- Wallace Stevens
%%
To regard the imagination as metaphysics is to think of it as part of life, and to think of it as part of life is to realize the extent of artifice. We live in the mind.
-- Wallace Stevens
%%
A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
A hungry man is not a free man.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady, but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
Communism is the corruption of a dream of justice.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
During his 1956 presidential campaign, a woman called out to Adlai E. Stevenson "Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!" Stevenson called back "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!"
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
Eleanor Roosevelt would rather light candles than curse the darkness and her glow has warmed the world.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
Flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
I believe that if we really want human brotherhood to spread and increase until it makes life safe and sane, we must also be certain that there is no one true faith or path by which it may spread.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
In America, anyone can become president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
It is often easier to fight for one's principles that to live up to them.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
Peace is the one condition of survival in this nuclear age.
-- Adlai E Stevenson
%%
That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in another.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning, not the end.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.
-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
There's something else I dislike just as much as creeping socialism, and that's galloping reaction.
-- Adlai Ewing Stevenson
%%
Many people have the ambition to succeed in their work; they may even have special aptitude for their job. And yet they do not move ahead. Why? Perhaps they think that since they can master the job, there is no need to master themselves.
-- John Stevenson
%%
A friend is a present you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
%%
Everyone lives by selling something.
-- R L Stevenson
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For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move, to get down off this featherbed of civilisation and to find the globe granite underneath and strewn with cutting flints.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
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Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
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Nothing like a little judicious levity.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
%%
The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
%%
To be idle requires a strong sense of personal identity.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
%%
To be what we are, an to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
%%
To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L Stevenson
%%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Stewart's Law of Restoration
%%
Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N D Stice
%%
There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.
-- Stephen Stills
%%
Illegitimis non carborundum."Lat., "Don't let the bastards grind you down.
-- Gen. Joseph Stilwell
%%
Given the choice of friendship or success, I'd probably choose success.
-- Sting
%%
I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject, when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron scumbags devoid of any admirable human qualities. I failed history.
-- Sting
%%
Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting
%%
There is no hope the future will but turn the old sand in the falling glass of time.
-- R H Stoddard
%%
But a stranger in a strange land, he is no one: men know him not-and to know not is to care not for.
-- Bram Stoker
%%
The world is proof that God is a committee.
-- Bob Stokes
%%
If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the ArabJewish problem.
-- I F Stone
%%
A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.
-- Tom Stoppard
%%
Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?
-- Stoppard
%%
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
-- Tom Stoppard
%%
It's an interesting view of atheism, as a sort of crutch for those who can't stand the reality of God...
-- Tom Stoppard
%%
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard
%%
Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
-- Dave Storer
%%
I's wicked - I is. I's mighty wicked, anyhow. I can't help it.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe
%%
Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe
%%
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe
%%
To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretences but your own.
-- Lionel Strachey
%%
Life is a process, not a principle, a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.
-- Gerard Straub
%%
You can't reason somebody out of something they didn't reason themselves into.
-- Harold Kent Straughn
%%
The world began without man, and it will complete itself without him.
-- Claude Levi-Strauss
%%
Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss
%%
I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What could I say? I felt like de Kooning, who was asked to comment on a certain abstract painting, and answered in the negative. He was then told it was the work of a celebrated monkey. 'That's different. For a monkey, it's terrific.'
-- Igor Stravinsky
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Money may kindle, but it cannot by itself, and for very long, burn.
-- Igor Stravinsky
%%
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky
%%
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Superintendent Philip Streifer, Barrington, Rhode Island
%%
Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and only eating the top half of each one.
-- Barbra Streisand
%%
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg
%%
To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.
-- Anna Louise Strong
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The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything ... and it works.
-- William Strong
%%
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup
%%
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky
%%
There ought to be so many who are excellent, there are so few.
-- Janet Erskine Stuart
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
-- Charles William Stubbs
%%
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon
%%
If you need 'n' items of anything, you will have 'n' - 1 in stock.
-- Sueker's Note
%%
Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure.
-- Joseph Sugarman
%%
I am astounded... at the wonderful power you have developed... and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever.
-- Arthur Sullivan, to Thomas Edison
%%
... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since mathematics, in its own way, also performs this function, it is not only aesthetically charming but profoundly significant. It is an art, and a great art.
-- John W N Sullivan
%%
For every living creature that succeeds in getting a footing in life there are thousands or millions that perish. There is an enormous random scattering for every seed that comes to life. This does not remind us of intelligent human design. "If a man in order to shoot a hare, were to discharge thousands of guns on a great moor in all possible directions; if in order to get into a locked room, he were to buy ten thousand casual keys, and try them all; if, in order to have a house, he were to build a town, and leave all the other houses to wind and weather assuredly no one would call such proceedings purposeful and still less would anyone conjecture behind these proceedings a higher wisdom, unrevealed reasons, and superior prudence."
-- John W N Sullivan
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Form follows function.
-- Louis Henri Sullivan
%%
They don't print any dirty books in Braille!
-- Tom Sullivan
%%
We tell the public which way the cat is jumping. The public will take care of the cat.
-- Arthur Hays Sulzberger
%%
I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank
%%
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
-- Billy Sunday
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Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday
%%
'Humph!' grunted Mr. Romford, seeing his worst fears about to be realized. He had dreamt that he had tumbled over a poodle in the drawing-room, and squirted a bottle of porter right into a lady's face. 'Who's goin' besides ourselves?' asked Romford, wishing to know the worst at once. 'Better be killed than frightened to death,' thought he.
-- Robert Smith Surtees
%%
Arouse the mind without resting it on anything.
-- Diamond Sutra
%%
After the verb 'to Love,' 'to Help' is the most beautiful verb in the world.
-- Bertha von Suttner
%%
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
-- Willie Sutton
%%
Love in its essence is spiritual fire.
-- Swedenborg
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The divine essence itself is love and wisdom.
-- Swedenborg
%%
The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious non-material possessions: the confidence in the existence of meaningful purposes of human activity and respect for the integrity of man.
-- Paul Sweezy
%%
How easy to be amiable in the midst of happiness and success.
-- Anne Sophie Swetchine
%%
We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more.
-- Madame Swetchine
%%
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices: so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping.
-- Jonathan Swift
%%
He was a bold man that first eat on oyster.
-- Jonathan Swift
%%
Just get the right syllable in the proper place.
-- Jonathan Swift
%%
May you live all the days of your life.
-- Jonathan Swift
%%
The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.
-- Jonathan Swift
%%
There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.
-- Swift
%%
There's none so blind as they won't see.
-- Swift
%%
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
-- Jonathan Swift
%%
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him.
-- Johnathan Swift
%%
Thou hast conquered, oh pale Galilean.
-- Swinburne
%%
The alternative to peace is not war. It is annihilation.
-- Raymond Swing
%%
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: Try to please everybody.
-- Herbert Bayard Swope
%%
The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- James Joseph Sylvester
%%
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
Fate is not satisfied with inflicting one calamity.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
He is much to be dreaded who stands in dread of poverty.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
He who lives in solitude may make his own laws.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
If you wish to reach the highest, begin at the lowest.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
Learn to see in another's calamity the ills which you should avoid.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
Mighty rivers can easily be leaped at their source.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
No one knows what he can do until he tries.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
Practice is the best of all instructors.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
To do two things at once is to do neither.
-- Publilius Syrus
%%
To lose a friend is the greatest of all losses.
-- Syrus
%%
We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
-- Syrus
%%
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz
%%
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz
%%
Mysticism joins and unites; reason divides and separates. People crave belonging more than understanding. Hence the prominent role of mysticism, and the limited role of reason, in human affairs.
-- Thomas Szasz
%%
The plague of mankind is the fear and rejection of diversity: monotheism, monarchy, monogamy and, in our age, monomedicine. The belief that there is only one right way to live only one right way to regulate religious, political, sexual, medical affairs is the root cause of the greatest threat to man: members of his own species, bent on ensuring his salvation, security, and sanity.
-- Thomas Szasz
%%
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz
%%
A bitter jest, when the satire comes too near the truth, leaves a sharp sting behind.
-- Tacitus
%%
In private enterprises men may advance or recede, whereas they who aim at empire have no alternative between the highest success and utter downfall.
-- Tacitus
%%
In seasons of tumult and discord bad men have most power; mental and moral excellence require peace and quietness.
-- Tacitus
%%
It belongs to human nature to hate those you have injured.
-- Tacitus
%%
Reason and judgment are the qualities of a leader.
-- Tacitus
%%
They made a wasteland and called it peace.
-- Tacitus
%%
Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.
-- Rabindranath Tagore
%%
Trees are the earth's endless effort to speak to the listening heaven.
-- Rabindranath Tagore
%%
He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere.
-- Ali Ben Abu Taleb
%%
The real problem is what to do with the problem-solvers after the problems are solved.
-- Gay Talese
%%
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
-- S G Tallentyre
%%
There are many people who have the gift, or failing, of never understanding themselves. I have been unlucky enough, or perhaps fortunate enough to have received the opposite gift.
-- Charles de Talleyrand
%%
You have only three real friends: Jesus Christ, Sears Roebuck, and Gene Talmadge.
-- Eugene Talmadge
%%
In every trade and pursuit of life both the rich and the poor are to be found.
-- The Talmud
%%
Richer is one hour of repentance and good works in this world than all of life of the world to come; and richer is one hour's calm of spirit in the world to come than all of life of this world.
-- The Talmud
%%
The Holy One... requires the heart.
-- The Talmud
%%
Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age.
-- Bill Tammeus
%%
Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tannen
%%
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
-- Andres S Tannenbaum
%%
The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
-- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower, on the game's opening position
%%
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
-- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower
%%
The greatest problem about old age is the fear that it may go on too long.
-- A J P Taylor
%%
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
-- Elizabeth Taylor
%%
The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become.
-- Harold Taylor
%%
It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance, for it requires knowledge to perceive it; and, therefore, he that can perceive it hath it not.
-- Jeremy Taylor
%%
Private and secret offices of religion are like the refreshing of a garden with the distilling and pretty drops of a water pot; but, addressed from the temple, are like rain from heaven.
-- Jeremy Taylor
%%
I played over the music of that scoundrel Brahms. What a giftless bastard! It annoys me that this selfinflated mediocrity is hailed as a genius. Why, in comparison with him, Raff is a genius.
-- Tchaikovsky
%%
Ah! curst ambition! to thy lures we owe, All the great ills that mortals bear below.
-- Teckell
%%
I believe, that having argued for the hydrogen bomb in 1949, at an important junction, helped keep the world safe ... half part of it.
-- Edward Teller
%%
A bird in the hand is safer than two overhead. All courageous animals are carnivorous, and greater courage is to be expected in a people, such as the English, whose food is strong and hearty, than in the half starved commonalty of other countries.
-- Sir W Temple
%%
Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple
%%
Christianity does not remove you from the world and its problems; it makes you fit to live in it, triumphantly and usefully.
-- Charles Templeton
%%
Act upon your impulses, but pray that they may be directed by God.
-- Emerson Tennent
%%
'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.
-- Lord Tennyson
%%
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
%%
A lie which is half truth is the blackest of lies.
-- Tennyson
%%
Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
-- Alfred Tennyson
%%
I am a part of all that I have met.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
%%
Kind hearts are more than coronets, And simple faith than Norman blood.
-- Tennyson
%%
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
%%
Fortune favours the brave.
-- Terence
%%
I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
One filled with joy preaches without preaching.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa
%%
The validity of a science is its ability to predict.
-- The Swartzberg Test
%%
An unsupervised teenager with a modem is as dangerous as an unsupervised teenager with a gun.
-- Arizona Assistant State Attorney Gail Thackeray
%%
A good laugh is sunshine in a house.
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
%%
Good humour is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
%%
Humour is wit and love.
-- Thackeray
%%
It's not dying for faith that's so hard, it's living up to it.
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
%%
There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up a pen to write.
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
%%
To endure is greater than to dare; to tire out hostile fortune; to be daunted by no difficulty; to keep heart when all have lost it ... who can say this is not greatness?
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
%%
The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.
-- Thales
%%
I am extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end.
-- Margaret Thatcher
%%
If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
-- Margaret Thatcher
%%
Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
-- Margaret Thatcher
%%
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher
%%
When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict
%%
Used-car salesman to customer: "Not only does it have low mileage, but most of that was while it was being towed."
-- Bob Thaves
%%
A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.
-- Puzant Kevork Thomajan
%%
Do not go gentle into that good night.
-- Dylan Thomas
%%
Why is it that wherever I go, the resident idiot heads straight for me?
-- Gwynn Thomas
%%
No one has yet programmed a computer to be of two minds about a hard problem or to burst out laughing.
-- Lewis Thomas
%%
Love is blind ... marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason
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It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty is exercised that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives... When liberty is taken away by force it can be restored by force. When it is relinquished voluntarily by default it can never be recovered.
-- Dorothy Thompson
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I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
-- Hunter S Thompson
%%
It was the right thing to do. We had no choice. We are, after all, professionals.
-- Hunter S Thompson
%%
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S Thompson
%%
Yuppies are fickle and greedy, prone to panic like penguins, and naked of roots or serious political convictions.
-- Hunter S Thompson
%%
Peace is the happy natural state of man; war is corruption and disgrace.
-- James Thomson
%%
A man cannot be said to succeed in this life who does not satisfy one friend.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
A man is rich in proportion of the number of things he can afford to let alone.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
A simple and independent mind does not toil at the bidding of any prince.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
All perception of truth is the detection of an analogy.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Anyone in a free society where the laws are unjust has an obligation to break the law.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
As for the pyramids, there is nothing to wonder at in them so much as the fact that so many men could be found degraded enough to spend their lives constructing a tomb for some ambitious booby, whom it would have been wiser and manlier to have drowned in the Nile, and then given his body to the dogs.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Associate reverently, as much as you can, with your loftiest thoughts.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
-- Thoreau
%%
Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
But I would say to my fellows, once and for all, As long as possible live free and uncommitted.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do want society.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Dreams are the touchstones of our character.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Enemies publish themselves. They declare war. The friend never declares his love.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Good poetry seems too simple and natural a thing that when we meet it we wonder that all men are not always poets. Poetry is nothing but healthy speech.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Government is at best but an expedient; but most governments are usually, and all governments are sometimes, inexpedient. The objections which have been brought against a standing army, and they are many and weighty, and deserve to prevail, may also at last be brought against a standing government.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are the richest.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I heartily accept the motto, "That government is best which governs least"; and I should like to see it acted upon more rapidly and systematically. Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which also I believe... "That government is best which governs not at all"; and when men are prepared for it, that will be the kind of government which they will have.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If I repent of any thing, it is very likely to be my good behaviour.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he imaged, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If you have tried to build castles in that air, your work need not be lost - that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.
-- Thoreau's Law
%%
It is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
It is never too late to give up your prejudices.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
It is only when we forget our learning, do we begin to know.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
It is the greatest of all advantages to enjoy no advantage at all.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Men profess to be lovers of music, but for the most part they give no evidence of it in their opinions and lives that they have heard it. It would not leave them narrow-minded and bigoted.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Most are engaged in business the greater part of their lives, because the soul abhors a vacuum and they have not discovered any continuous employment for man's nobler faculties.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Most men would feel insulted if it were proposed to employ them in throwing stones over a wall, and then in throwing them back, merely that they might earn their wages. But many are no more worthily employed now.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Must be out-of-doors enough to get experience of wholesome reality, as a ballast to thought and sentiment. Health requires this relaxation, this aimless life.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
No method nor discipline can supersede the necessity of being forever on the alert.
-- Henry Thoreau
%%
Not till we are lost, in other words, not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
One may discover a new side to his most intimate friend when for the first time he hears him speak in public. He will be stranger to him as he is more familiar to the audience. The longest intimacy could not foretell how he would behave then.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Still we live meanly, like ants... Our life is fritted away by detail... Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let our affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand... simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
-- Thoreau
%%
The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way. Trade and commerce, if they were not made of India-rubber, would never manage to bounce over obstacles which legislators are continually putting in their way; and if one were to judge these men wholly by the effects of their actions and not partly by their intentions, they would deserve to be classed and punished with those mischievous persons who put obstructions on the railroads.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The man for whom law exists ... the man of forms, the Conservative, is a tame man.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready, and it may be along time before they get off.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
The way by which you may get money almost without exception leads downward.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
There are thousands hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
There is more religion in men's science, than there is science in their religion.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
There will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Things do not change, we do.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
To a philosopher all news, as it is called, is gossip, an they who edit and read it are old women over their tea.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, not even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
To him whose elastic and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a perpetual morning.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
Water is the only drink for a wise man.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We are armed with language adequate to describe each leaf of the filed, but not to describe human character.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We are more anxious to speak than to be heard.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We do not learn by inference and deduction and the application of mathematics to philosophy, but by direct intercourse and sympathy.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We falsely attribute to men a determined character - putting together all their yesterdays - and averaging them - we presume we know them. Pity the man who has character to support - it is worse than a large family - he is the silent poor indeed.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We hate the kindness which we understand.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We must have infinite faith in each other. If we have not, we must never let it leak out that we have not.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
What does education often do? It makes a straight-cut ditch of a free, meandering brook.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
What is the good of having a nice house without a decent planet to put it on?
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
What man believes, God believes.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
What the first philosopher taught, the last will have to repeat.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%%
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
-- Thoreau
%%
In all there were about three thousand Hellenic heavy infantry, accompanied by all the Macedonian cavalry with the Chalcidians, near one thousand strong, besides an immense crowd of barbarians.
-- Thoukididis
%%
The country by the sea which is now called Macedonia... Alexander, the father of Perdiccas, and his forefathers, who were originally Temenidae from Argos.
-- Thoukididis
%%
Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the centre of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop, III
%%
When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts. Or all the time you have, whichever is less.
-- Kelvin Throop
%%
Peace is an armistice in a war that is continuously going on.
-- Thucydides
%%
The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it.
-- Thucydides
%%
When you want the answer, you don't question the argument.
-- Thucydides
%%
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber
%%
Humour is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
-- James Thurber
%%
Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquillity.
-- James G Thurber
%%
I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber
%%
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
-- James Thurber
%%
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
-- James Thurber
%%
A government which promises everything must pay its bills with everybody's money.
-- Strom Thurmond
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To those who think that the law of gravity interferes with their freedom, there is nothing to say.
-- Lionel Tiger
%%
Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us.
-- Henrik Tikkanen
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Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.
-- Henrik Tikkanen
%%
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett
%%
Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
-- Paul Johannes Tillich
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The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich
%%
I'd give $1000 to be a millionaire.
-- Lewis Timberlake
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Men will never establish any equality with which they can be contented. Whatever efforts a people may make, they will never succeed in reducing all the conditions of society to a perfect level.
-- Alexis de Tocqueville
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What good is it to me, after all, if there is an authority always busy to see to the tranquil enjoyment of my pleasures and going ahead to brush all dangers away from my path without giving me even the trouble to think about it, if that authority, which protects me from the smallest thorns on my journey, is also the absolute master of my liberty and of my life?
-- Alexis de Tocqueville
%%
Few ever lived to a great age, and fewer still ever became distinguished, who were not in the habit of early rising.
-- Todd
%%
These are days you'll remember. If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony, remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- NJ Governor Christine Todd
%%
Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler
%%
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
-- Alvin Toffler
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Not all who wander are lost.
-- J R R Tolkien
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The road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the road has gone and I must follow if I can. Pursuing it with weary feet until it joins some larger way, where many paths and errands meet -and whither then, I cannot say.
-- J R R Tolkien
%%
A Russian should rejoice if Poland, the Baltic Provinces, Finland, Armenia, should be separated, freed from Russia; so with an Englishman in regard to Ireland, India and other possessions; and each should help to do this, because the greater the state, the more wrong and cruel is its patriotism, and the greater is the sum of suffering upon which its power is founded. Therefore, if we really wish to be what we profess to be, we must not only cease our present desire for the growth of the state, but we must desire its decrease, its weakening, and help this forward with all our might.
-- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
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All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own fashion.
-- Count Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
Art is not a handicraft, it is the transmission of feeling the artist has experienced.
-- Leo Tolstoy
%%
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
-- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
-- Count Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.
-- Leo Tolstoy
%%
If you want to be happy, be.
-- Leo Tolstoy
%%
It is possible to live only as long as life intoxicates us; as soon as we sober again we see that it is all a delusion, and a stupid one!
-- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
Ivan Ilych's life was most simple, and most ordinary, and therefore most terrible.
-- Count Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.
-- Leo Tolstoy
%%
Vengeance is mine, and I will repay.
-- Count Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
Without knowing why I am and why I am here, life is impossible.
-- Count Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
%%
For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle it's much too confining.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Reality is a crutch for people who can't deal with drugs.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
We're all in this alone.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying... but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?
-- Lily Tomlin
%%
Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra
%%
No doubt, a scientist isn't necessarily penalized for being a complex, versatile, eccentric individual with lots of extra-scientific interests. But it certainly doesn't help him a bit.
-- Stephen Toulmin
%%
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee
%%
Apathy can only be overcome by enthusiasm, and enthusiasm can only be aroused by two things; first, an ideal which takes the imagination by storm, and second, a definite plan for carrying that ideal into practice.
-- Arnold Toynbee
%%
As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility.
-- Arnold J Toynbee
%%
Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbour.
-- Toynbee
%%
Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to create an earthly paradise. Who could expect that? But, if you make life ever so little better, you will have done splendidly, and your lives will have been worthwhile.
-- Arnold Toynbee
%%
What shall we do to be saved? In politics, establish a constitutional cooperative society or world government. In economics, find working compromises between free enterprise and socialism.
-- Arnold Toynbee
%%
Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn
%%
Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
-- G M Trevelyan
%%
Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin
%%
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin
%%
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
-- Calvin Trillin
%%
Success is the necessary misfortune of life, but it is only to the very unfortunate that it comes early.
-- Anthony Troloppe
%%
In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work does not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.
-- Leon Trotsky
%%
Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above weakness, above all kinds of perfidy and baseness.
-- Leon Trotsky
%%
Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.
-- Leon Trotsky
%%
You may not be interested in strategy, but strategy is interested in you.
-- Trotsky
%%
... And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau
%%
There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot successfully be put into equations, because it is nonsense.
-- C Truesdell
%%
All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
I never give them hell. I just tell the truth and they think it's hell.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
The war of the future could extinguish millions of lives at one blow and destroy the very structure of a civilization that has been slowly and painfully built up through hundreds of generations. Such a war is not a possible policy for rational man.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
You can never get all the facts from just one newspaper, and unless you have all the facts, you cannot make proper judgements about what is going on.
-- Harry S Truman
%%
I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.
-- Donald Trump
%%
In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P Tryon
%%
Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor
%%
Words divide us, actions unite us.
-- Slogan of the Tupamaros
%%
It is well to lie fallow for a while.
-- Martin Tupper
%%
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
-- Martin Fraquhar Tupper
%%
Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull
%%
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner
%%
A fool and his money are soon parted.
-- Thomas Tusser
%%
... a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
-- Mark Twain
%%
... all the modern inconveniences...
-- Mark Twain
%%
... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and quite often picturesque liar.
-- Mark Twain
%%
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain
%%
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
-- Mark Twain
%%
A good lie will have travelled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots.
-- Mark Twain
%%
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
-- Mark Twain
%%
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling; For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" ... bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez ... tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
-- Mark Twain
%%
A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
-- Mark Twain
%%
After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside without her... I should be sorry to have that voice fall silent and pass out of my life.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
-- Mark Twain
%%
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Be good and you will be lonesome.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's life.
-- Mark Twain
%%
By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity ... another man's, I mean.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Congress is the only inherent criminal class in America.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Crank ... a man with a new idea until it succeeds.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-- Mark Twain
%%
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain
%%
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
-- Mark Twain
%%
History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Honesty is the best policy-when there is money in it.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I don't give a damn for a man who can spell a word only one way.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
-- Mark Twain
%%
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
-- Mark Twain
%%
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
-- Mark Twain
%%
If there are no cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.
-- Mark Twain
%%
If there is a God, he is a malign thug.
-- Mark Twain
%%
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-- Mark Twain
%%
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain
%%
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man.
-- Mark Twain
%%
In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
-- Mark Twain
%%
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
-- Mark Twain
%%
In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has.
-- Mark Twain
%%
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
-- Mark Twain
%%
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Let us endeavour to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Man has the one true religion. Several of them!
-- Mark Twain
%%
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Modesty died when false modesty was born.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race the individual's distrust of his neighbour, and his desire, for safety's or comfort's sake, to stand well in his neighbour's eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Never try to herd cats.
-- Mark Twain
%%
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Nothing remains the same. When a man goes back to look at the house of his childhood, it has always shrunk: there is no instance of such a house being as big as the picture in memory and imagination calls for.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain
%%
One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Only when a republic's life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it is in the wrong. There is no other time.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Put all your eggs in the one basket and- WATCH THAT BASKET.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain
%%
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The difference between the right word and a similar word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
-- Mark Twain, after reading his own obituary, 1897
%%
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The secret source of humour itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.
-- Mark Twain
%%
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one-keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else's.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.
-- Mark Twain
%%
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain
%%
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
-- Mark Twain
%%
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Virtue was never as respectable as money.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-- Mark Twain
%%
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
-- Mark Twain
%%
We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.
-- Mark Twain
%%
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.
-- Mark Twain
%%
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.
-- Mark Twain
%%
We ought never do wrong when people are looking.
-- Mark Twain
%%
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
-- Mark Twain
%%
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-- Mark Twain
%%
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
-- Mark Twain
%%
When in doubt, tell the truth.
-- Mark Twain
%%
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
-- Mark Twain
%%
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.
-- Mark Twain
%%
When you cannot get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of the Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
-- Mark Twain
%%
You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of your imagination. You may not see your ears, but they are there.
-- Mark Twain
%%
You can't make a life over society wouldn't let you if you would.
-- Mark Twain
%%
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain
%%
Certainly we are interested in more than wealth.
-- Giovanni Ty
%%
Women's liberationists spread the word that... the only peaceful family is one in which either the wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R Emmett Tyell
%%
The ultimate test of whether you posses a sense of humour is your reaction when someone tells you you don't.
-- Frank Tyger
%%
Life is a wave, which in no two consecutive moments of its existence is composed of the same particles.
-- John Tyndall
%%
He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.
-- Lao Tze
%%
Those who know don't tell; those who tell don't know.
-- Lao-Tze
%%
I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
-- Chang-Tzu
%%
Fishes are born in water... man is born in Tao.
-- Chuang Tzu
%%
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
-- Lao Tzu
%%
Everything must Change! Stagnation is Death!
-- Lao Tzu
%%
He who lives out his days has had a long life.
-- Lao Tzu
%%
The Eternal is empty (like a bowl), It may be used but its capacity is never exhausted. It is bottomless, perhaps the ancestor of all things. It blunts its sharpness, It unties its tangles, It softens its light. It becomes one with the dusty world. Deep and still, it appears to exist forever. I do not know whose son it is. It seems to have existed before the Lord.
-- Lao Tzu
%%
The wicked leader is he who the people despise. The good leader is he who the people revere. The great leader is he who the people say, 'We did it ourselves.'
-- Lao-Tzu
%%
There was something undifferentiated and yet complete, Which existed before heaven and earth. Soundless and formless, it depends on nothing and does not change. It operates everywhere and is free from danger. It may be considered the mother of the universe.
-- Lao Tzu
%%
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu
%%
To use words but rarely is to be natural.
-- Lao Tzu
%%
When his task is accomplished and his work is done, the people all say, 'It happened to us naturally.'
-- Lao Tzu
%%
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
-- Lao-Tzu
%%
Leadership is intelligence, humaneness and courage.
-- Sun Tzu
%%
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu
%%
To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
-- Sun Tzu
%%
True victory gives love and changes the enemy's heart.
-- Ueshiba
%%
Faith which does not doubt is a dead faith.
-- Unamuno
%%
Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.
-- Miguel de Unamuno
%%
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
-- Miguel de Unamuno
%%
Only in solitude do we find ourselves; and in finding ourselves, we find in ourselves all our brothers in solitude.
-- Miguel de Unamuno
%%
It's a control freak thing. I wouldn't let you understand.
-- S H Underwood
%%
Nothing but blackness above And nothing that moves but the cars... God, if you wish for our love, Fling us a handful of stars!
-- Louis Untermeyer
%%
He is the one in whose power are the many sources of creation, and the root and the flower of all things. The Golden Seed, the Creator, was in his mind in the beginning; and he saw him born when time began.
-- Upanishads
%%
There are, assuredly, two forms of The Eternal: the formed and the formless, the mortal and the immortal, the stationary and the moving, the actual and the yon.
-- Upanishads
%%
A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.
-- John Updike
%%
Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better.
-- John Updike
%%
Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
-- John Updike
%%
The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't; whichever seems likelier to win an effect.
-- John Updike
%%
Humour is the sense of the Absurd, which is despair refusing to take itself seriously.
-- Arland Ussher
%%
... the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Ustinov
%%
Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov
%%
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
-- Peter Ustinov
%%
In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
-- Peter Alexander Ustinov
%%
Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov
%%
The point of living, and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe that the best is yet to come.
-- Peter Ustinov
%%
The sound of laughter has always seemed to me the most civilized music in the universe.
-- Peter Ustinov
%%
A person who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key.
-- Paul Valery
%%
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery
%%
An artist never really finishes his work; he merely abandons it.
-- Paul Valery
%%
Latent in every man is a venom of amazing bitterness, a black resentment; something that curses and loathes life, a feeling of being trapped, of having trusted and been fooled, of being the helpless prey of impotent rage, blind surrender, the victim of a savage, ruthless power that gives and takes away, enlists a man, and - crowning injury - inflicts upon him the humiliation of feeling sorry for himself.
-- Paul Valery
%%
Our judgements judge us, and nothing reveals us, exposes our weaknesses, more ingeniously than the attitude of pronouncing upon our fellows.
-- Paul Valery
%%
Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.
-- Paul Valery
%%
Science is a collection of successful recipes.
-- Paul Valery
%%
The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us.
-- Paul Valery
%%
The martyr: "i'd rather die than... think it over."
-- Paul Valery
%%
The trouble with out times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery
%%
What muddled thinking lies behind such expressions as "a psychological novel," "the 'truth' of such and such a character," "analysis," and so forth! While you're about it, why not speak of Mona Lisa's nervous system and the Venus de Milo's liver?
-- Paul Valery
%%
That is the best ... to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt
%%
A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time.
-- Frank Vanderlip
%%
Power... offers a choice of servitudes but calls this choice liberty.
-- Raoul Vaneigem
%%
It's easy to cry 'bug' when the truth is that you've got a complex system and sometimes it takes a while to get all the components to co-exist peacefully.
-- Doug Vargas
%%
Time is of the essence, but what is the essence of time?
-- Karan Varsheni
%%
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salary of a large research staff to study the problem.
-- Bill Vaughan
%%
Someday there is going to be a book about a middle aged man with a good job, a beautiful wife and two lovely children who still manages to be happy.
-- Bill Vaughan
%%
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
-- Bill Vaughan
%%
The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
-- Bill Vaughan
%%
There was neither nonexistence nor existence then; there was neither the realm of space nor the sky beyond. There was no distinguishing sign of night nor of day. That One breathed, windless, by its own impulse. Other than that there was nothing beyond. Darkness was hidden by darkness in the beginning; with no distinguishing sign, all this was water. The life force that was, was covered with emptiness, that one arose through the power of heat. Desire came upon that one in the beginning; that was the first seed of mind.
-- Rig Veda
%%
Back off man; I'm a scientist.
-- Dr Peter Venkman
%%
Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.
-- Jesse "The Body" Ventura
%%
Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how.'
-- Frank Victor
%%
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
I'm a born-again atheist.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on TV.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
The idea of a good society is something you do not need a religion and eternal punishment to buttress; you need religion if you are terrified of death.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
Whether you have an abortion, what you put in your own body, with whom you have sex these are _not_ the affairs of the state. A government does not exist to control the citizens. When it does, it is a tyranny, and must be fought. The tree of liberty, Jefferson warned us, must be refreshed with the blood of tyrants and patriots.
-- Gore Vidal
%%
I'm going to live forever or die trying.
-- Vila
%%
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Last words of Pancho Villa
%%
Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
%%
Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
%%
The poet ranks far below the painter in the representation of visible things, and far below the musician in that of invisible things.
-- Leonardo Da Vinci
%%
The smallest feline is a masterpiece.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
%%
Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but memory.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
%%
There is no ache more deadly than the striving to be oneself.
-- Yevgeniy Vinokurov
%%
Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford... but you'll take him anyway.
-- Judith Viorst
%%
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst
%%
Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst
%%
The task of science is to stake out the limits of the knowable, and to centre consciousness within them.
-- Rudolf Virchow
%%
Do not trust the horse, Trojans! Whatever it is, I fear the Greeks, even though they bring gifts.
-- Virgil
%%
Here I am who did the deed.
-- Virgil
%%
I feel again a spark of that ancient flame.
-- Virgil
%%
I shudder at the word.
-- Virgil
%%
Now I know what love is. [Nunc scio quit sit amor.]
-- Virgil
%%
Oh you who are born of the blood of the gods, Trojan son of Anchises, easy is the descent to Hell; the door of dark Dis stands open day and night. But to retrace your steps and come out to the air above, that is work, that is labour!
-- Virgil
%%
Perhaps even these things, one day, will be pleasing to remember.
-- Virgil
%%
Thus shall you go to the stars.
-- Virgil
%%
Time passes irrevocably.
-- Virgil
%%
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L Visco
%%
"That is indisputable," was the answer, "but in this country it is a good thing to kill an admiral from time to time to encourage the others."
-- Voltaire
%%
A witty saying proves nothing.
-- Voltaire
%%
All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.
-- Voltaire
%%
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
-- Voltaire
%%
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
-- Voltaire
%%
Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.
-- Voltaire
%%
God created woman to tame man.
-- Voltaire
%%
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire
%%
He is a hard man who is only just, and a sad one who is only wise.
-- Voltaire
%%
History is little else than a picture of human crimes and misfortunes.
-- Voltaire
%%
I believe that there never was a creator of a philosophical system who did not confess at the end of his life that he had wasted his time. It must be admitted that the inventors of the mechanical arts have been much more useful to men that the inventors of syllogisms. He who imagined a ship towers considerably above him who imagined innate ideas.
-- Voltaire
%%
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.
-- Voltaire
%%
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
-- Voltaire
%%
Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.
-- Voltaire
%%
It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
-- Voltaire
%%
It is far better to be silent than merely to increase the quantity of bad books.
-- Voltaire
%%
It is new fancy rather than taste which produces so many new fashions.
-- Voltaire
%%
It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.
-- Voltaire
%%
It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.
-- Voltaire
%%
It is said that God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions.
-- Voltaire
%%
Killing a man is murder, unless done to the sound of trumpets.
-- Voltaire
%%
Let us work without theorizing; it is the only way to make life endurable.
-- Voltaire
%%
Life resembles the banquet of Damocles; the sword is ever suspended.
-- Voltaire
%%
Love has features which pierce all hearts, he wears a bandage which conceals the faults of those beloved. He has wings, he comes quickly and flies away the same.
-- Voltaire
%%
Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.
-- Voltaire
%%
Love truth, but pardon error.
-- Voltaire
%%
Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.
-- Voltaire
%%
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
-- Voltaire
%%
Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.
-- Voltaire
%%
No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.
-- Voltaire
%%
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
-- Voltaire
%%
The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.
-- Voltaire
%%
The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire
%%
The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors.
-- Voltaire
%%
The history of human opinion is scarcely anything more than the history of human errors.
-- Voltaire
%%
To hold a pen is to be at war.
-- Voltaire
%%
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
-- Voltaire
%%
To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth.
-- Voltaire
%%
Verses which do not teach men new and moving truths do not deserve to be read.
-- Voltaire
%%
We are rarely proud when we are alone.
-- Voltaire
%%
We must cultivate our garden.
-- Voltaire
%%
We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire
%%
What parish priest would not like to be Pope?
-- Voltaire
%%
When its a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.
-- Voltaire
%%
Without philosophy we should be little above animals.
-- Voltaire
%%
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."
-- Kurt Vonnegut
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And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
%%
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armour and attacked a hot fudge sundae.
-- Kurt Vonnegut
%%
Anytime I see a person fleeing from reason and into religion, I think to myself, there goes a person who cannot stand being so God damned lonely any more.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
%%
Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
%%
We are what we pretend to be. Most of the time.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
%%
We could have saved the Earth, but we were too damned cheap.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
%%
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries
%%
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries
%%
Success is relevant to coping with obstacles... But no problem is ever solved by those, who, when they fail, look for someone to blame instead of something to do.
-- Fred Waggoner
%%
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
-- Tom Waits
%%
A physicist is an atoms way of knowing about atoms.
-- George Wald
%%
It is not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game ever starts.
-- Addison Walker
%%
Us sing and dance, make faces and give flower bouquets, trying to be loved. You ever notice that trees do everything to get attention we do, except walk?
-- Alice Walker
%%
Entropy requires no maintenance.
-- Amanda Walker
%%
Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
-- Mort Walker
%%
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
-- Larry Wall
%%
I've seen many politicians paralysed in the legs as myself, but I've seen more of them who were paralysed in the head.
-- George Wallace
%%
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda
%%
This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole
%%
Don't worry about it. I'll worry about it. I was going to be up late anyway.
-- Joe Walsh
%%
When the critics try to analyse the current trend, I just sit back and watch them come and go.
-- Joe Walsh
%%
Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?
-- Artemus Ward
%%
Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C Ward
%%
A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.
-- William Arthur Ward
%%
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.
-- William Arthur Ward
%%
The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward
%%
Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol
%%
I am a deeply superficial person.
-- Andy Warhol
%%
In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
-- Andy Warhol
%%
Happy is said to be the family which can eat onions together. They are, for the time being, separate, from the world, and have a harmony of aspiration.
-- Charles Dudley Warner
%%
I am convinced that the majority of people would be generous from selfish motives, if they had the opportunity.
-- Charles Dudley Warner
%%
No one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
-- Charles Dudley Warner
%%
Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently.
-- Charles Dudley Warner
%%
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
-- H M Warner
%%
No other job in the world could possibly dispossess one so completely as this job of teaching. You could stand all day in a laundry, for instance, still in possession of your mind. But this teaching utterly obliterates you. It cuts right into your being: essentially, it takes over your spirit. It drags it out from where it would hide.
-- Sylvia Ashton-Warner
%%
The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures.
-- Jutice Earl Warren
%%
Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before.
-- Edith Warton
%%
A dogma is the hand of the dead on the throat of the living.
-- Washburn
%%
Blessings on the man who first dared to doubt.
-- Washburn
%%
Do not thank God for what man does.
-- Washburn
%%
Hell is where cowards have sent heroes.
-- Washburn
%%
If God exists, what objection can he have to saying so?
-- Washburn
%%
Our duty to the god of Christianity is to bury him.
-- Washburn
%%
Piety could do nothing better than imitate morality.
-- Washburn
%%
Prayer is begging from a pauper.
-- Washburn
%%
Priests will pardon thieves but not philosophers.
-- Washburn
%%
The day of the Bible is passed. Books have taken its place.
-- Washburn
%%
The egg of prayer never yet became a chicken.
-- Washburn
%%
There is no justifiable Christianity in this age.
-- Washburn
%%
To depend upon God is like holding on to the tail-end of nothing.
-- Lemuel K Washburn
%%
Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to let him know that you trust him.
-- Booker T Washington
%%
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
-- Booker T Washington
%%
You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T Washington
%%
Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.
-- George Washington
%%
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow grow, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
-- George Washington
%%
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington
%%
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
-- George Washington
%%
Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.
-- George Washington
%%
I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.
-- George Washington
%%
It is our duty to make the best of our misfortunes, and not to suffer passion to interfere with our interest and public good.
-- George Washington
%%
The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.
-- George Washington
%%
The United States of America should have a foundation free from the influence of clergy.
-- George Washington
%%
There is no restraining men's tongues or pens when charged with a little vanity.
-- George Washington
%%
True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
-- George Washington
%%
We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience.
-- George Washington
%%
Hope is like the cork to the net, which keeps the soul from sinking in despair; and fear is like the lead to the net, which keeps it from floating in presumption.
-- Watson
%%
I don't think we're here for anything, we're products of evolution. You can say 'Gee, your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose' but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
-- James Watson
%%
One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid.
-- James Watson
%%
If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury
%%
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
-- Thomas Watson
%%
We don't have to protect the environment ... the Second Coming is at hand.
-- James Watt
%%
Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
-- Bill Watterson
%%
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
-- Bill Watterson
%%
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
-- Bill Watterson
%%
I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.
-- Alan Watts
%%
Lack of awareness of the basic unity of organism and environment is a serious and dangerous hallucination.
-- Alan Wilson Watts
%%
No one imagines that symphony is supposed to improve as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them.
-- Alan Wilson Watts
%%
To understand music, you must listen to it. But so long as you are thinking, "I am listening to this music," you are not listening. To understand joy or fear, you must be wholly and undividedly aware of it. So long as you are calling it names and saying, "I am happy," or "I am afraid," you are not being aware of it. Fear, pain, sorrow, and boredom must remain problems if we do not understand them, but understanding requires a single and undivided mind. This, surely, is the meaning of that strange saying, "If thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."
-- Alan Wilson Watts
%%
A man desires praise that he may be reassured, that he may be quit of his doubting of himself; he is indifferent to applause when he is confident of success.
-- Alec Waugh
%%
It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste.
-- Evelyn Waugh
%%
Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.
-- Evelyn Waugh
%%
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.
-- Evelyn Waugh
%%
No amount of study or learning will make a man a leader unless he has the natural qualities of one.
-- Archibald Wavell
%%
Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner
%%
The trouble with some of us is that we have been inoculated with small doses of Christianity which keep us from catching the real thing.
-- Leslie Dixon Weatherhead
%%
Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
-- Ken Weaver
%%
If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber
%%
If it is too good to be true? it is probably a fraud.
-- Ron Weber
%%
An Academic speculated whether a bather is beautiful if there is none in the forest to admire her. He hid in the bushes to find out, which vitiated his premise but made him happy. Moral: Empiricism is more fun than speculation.
-- Sam Weber
%%
There's always room at the top.
-- Webster
%%
I still live.
-- Last words of Daniel Webster
%%
The world is governed more by appearances than by realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.
-- Daniel Webster
%%
We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster
%%
Suppose you're in a hypothetical situation...
-- Steve Wechsler
%%
Difficult as it is really to listen to someone in affliction, it is just as difficult for him to know that compassion is listening to him.
-- Simone Weil
%%
Imagination is always the fabric of social life and the dynamic of history. The influence of real needs and compulsions, of real interests and materials, is indirect because the crowd is never conscious of it.
-- Simone Weil
%%
The highest ecstasy is the attention at its fullest.
-- Simone Weil
%%
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
-- Gerald Weinberg
%%
The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
-- Steven Weinberg
%%
There are no answers, only cross references.
-- Weiner
%%
I may be going to hell in a bucket, but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
-- Bob Weir
%%
Hope is the denial of reality.
-- Margaret Weis
%%
If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.
-- Jay Weisman
%%
Most idealistic people are skint. I have discovered that people with money have no imagination, and people with imagination have no money.
-- George Weiss
%%
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
-- Designer John Weitz
%%
The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs.
-- Joseph Weizenbaum
%%
Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch
%%
I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
-- Orson Welles
%%
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
-- Orson Welles
%%
Only in a police state is the job of a policeman easy.
-- Orson Welles
%%
When you are down and out something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends.
-- Orson Welles
%%
"Sesquippledan", he would say, "Sesquippledan verboojuice".
-- H G Wells
%%
Advertising is legalized lying.
-- Herbert George Wells
%%
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
-- Herbert George Wells
%%
Go away... I'm alright.
-- Last words of H G Wells
%%
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
-- H G Wells
%%
Humanity either makes, or breeds, or tolerates all its afflictions.
-- Herbert George Wells
%%
Moral indignation - jealousy with a halo.
-- Herbert George Wells
%%
A good listener tries to understand thoroughly what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but before he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.
-- Kenneth A Wells
%%
If you're masochistic enough to program in ADA, we're not going to stop you.
-- Matt Welsh
%%
Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley
%%
When I was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me.
-- John Wesley
%%
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humour, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.
-- Jessamyn West
%%
A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.
-- Mae West
%%
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West
%%
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West
%%
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
-- Mae West
%%
Curve is the loveliest distance between two points.
-- Mae West
%%
Give a man a free hand, and he'll run it all over you.
-- Mae West
%%
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
-- Mae West
%%
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
-- Mae West
%%
I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West
%%
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
-- Mae West
%%
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West
%%
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West
%%
It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West
%%
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
-- Mae West
%%
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West
%%
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day... and another, in case it doesn't rain.
-- Mae West
%%
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
-- Mae West
%%
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West
%%
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West
%%
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West
%%
Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men.
-- Bishop Westcott
%%
They say a reasonable amount o' fleas is good for a dog... keeps him from broodin' over bein' a bog, mebbe.
-- Edward Noyes Westcott
%%
I do not believe that the men who served in uniform in Vietnam have been given the credit they deserve. It was a difficult war against an unorthodox enemy.
-- William Westmoreland
%%
The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.
-- William Westmoreland
%%
You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl
%%
Honesty is the best policy; but he who is governed by that maxim is not an honest man.
-- Archbishop Richard Whately
%%
Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.
-- Richard Whately
%%
An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly.
-- E P Whipple
%%
Whenever you find humour, you find Pathos close by its side.
-- Edwin Whipple
%%
If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler
%%
I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E B White
%%
I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.
-- Elwyn Brooks White
%%
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy; today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.
-- E B White
%%
One can search the brain with a microscope and not find the mind, and can search the stars with a telescope and not find God.
-- J Gustav White
%%
If you make a living, if you earn your own money, you're free ... however free one can be on this planet.
-- Theodore White
%%
Ideas won't keep; something must be done about them.
-- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
In formal logic, a contradiction is the signal of defeat: but in the evolution of real knowledge, it marks the first step in progress toward victory.
-- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
It is the business of the future to be dangerous; and it is among the merits of science that it equips the future for its duties.
-- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
The total absence of humour from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
-- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements. We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward striving of the human race.
-- Alfred North Whitehead
%%
Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.
-- Katherine Whitehorn
%%
Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself (I am large, I contain multitudes).
-- Walt Whitman
%%
I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
-- Walt Whitman
%%
I celebrate myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
-- Walt Whitman
%%
I say that democracy can never prove itself beyond cavil, until it founds and luxuriantly grows its own forms of art, poems, schools, theology, displacing all that exists, or that has been produced anywhere in the past, under opposite influences.
-- Walt Whitman
%%
I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained.
-- Walt Whitman
%%
O to be selfbalanced for contingencies! O to confront night, storms, hunger, ridicule, accidents, rebuffs as trees and animals do!
-- Walt Whitman
%%
This is thy hour, O Soul; Thy free flight into the wordless Away from books, from art. The day erased; the lesson done. Thee fully forth emerging, Silent, gazing... Pondering the themes thou lovest best: Night, sleep, death, and the stars.
-- Walt Whitman
%%
Whatever satisfies the soul is truth.
-- Walt Whitman
%%
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
-- Flora Whittemore
%%
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'
-- John Greenleaf Whittier
%%
God blesses still the generous thought And still the fitting word He speeds, And truth, at His requiring taught, He quickens into deeds.
-- Whittier
%%
When faith is lost, when honour dies, the man is dead.
-- John Greenleaf Whittier
%%
Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton
%%
We dissect nature along lines laid down by our native language. Language is not simply a reporting device for experience but a defining framework for it.
-- Benjamin Whorf
%%
History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Lord John Whorfin
%%
The problem with the person who thinks he's a long-term investor and impervious to short-term gyrations is that the emotion of fear and pain will eventually make him sell badly.
-- Robert Wibbelsman
%%
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
-- Tom Wicker
%%
So far as modern science is concerned, we have to abandon completely the idea that by going into the realm of the small we shall reach the ultimate foundations of the universe. I believe we can abandon this idea without any regret. The universe is infinite.
-- Emile Wiechert
%%
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
-- Alfred E Wiggam
%%
Physics is becoming so unbelievably complex that it is taking longer and longer to train a physicist. It is taking so long, in fact, to train a physicist to the place where he understands the nature of physical problems that he is already too old to solve.
-- Eugene Wigner
%%
There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
%%
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A gentleman is one who never inflicts pain... unintentionally.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
A well-tied tie is the first in life.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Last words of Oscar Wilde
%%
Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed
%%
All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Ambition is the last refuge of failure.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Anyone can make history. Only a great man can write it.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Argument's are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
As long as war is regarded as wicked it will always have its fascinations. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Bad artists always admire each others work.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, [journalism] keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Conscience and cowardice are really the same. Conscience is the trade name of the firm.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved. Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely intensifies it. We can have but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
For those who like that sort of thing, it's the sort of thing that they like.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
He hasn't one redeeming vice.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I am in a duel to the death with this wallpaper, one of us has got to go. (One month before he died on the same bed.)
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I can resist everything except temptation.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I don't desire to change anything in England except the weather.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favour of journalism in that by giving us the opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Life is far too important to be taken seriously.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Men know life too early, women too late.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Nowadays to be intelligible is to be found out.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
One of the many lessons that one learns in prison is, that things are what they are and will be what they will be.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Only the shallow know themselves.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are.
--- Oscar Wilde
%%
Show respect for age. Drink good scotch for a change. The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox... the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The old believe everything, the middle aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing. Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
The way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
There is much to be said in favour of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
There is no such things as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. That is all.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Thirty-five is a very attractive age, London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
True friends stab you in the front.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
We teach people how to remember, we never teach them how to grow.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
When I think of all the harm the Bible has done, I despair of ever writing anything to equal it.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
When the gods choose to punish us, they merely answer our prayers.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Women are never disarmed by compliments.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Yet each man kills the thing he loves, By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!
-- Oscar Wilde
%%
Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder
%%
I know that every good and excellent thing in the world stands moment by moment on the razor-edge of danger and must be fought for...
-- Thornton Wilder
%%
That's not a friend, that's an employer I'm trying out for a few days.
-- Thornton Wilder
%%
There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning.
-- Thornton Wilder
%%
As soon as we started programming, we found out to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.
-- Maurice Wilkes
%%
Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings.
-- George F Will
%%
If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavour of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with titles beginning with the word "National".
-- George F Will
%%
Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence.
-- George F Will
%%
I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.
-- Bern Williams
%%
Man never mad any material as resilient as the human spirit.
-- Bern Williams
%%
Talent is a flame. Genius is a fire.
-- Bern Williams
%%
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax... tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
-- Pearl Williams
%%
God requireth not a uniformity of religion.
-- Roger Williams
%%
Make voyages! Attempt them? there's nothing else.
-- Tennessee Williams
%%
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
-- Tenessee Williams
%%
We can no more blame our loss of freedom on congress than we can prostitution on pimps. Both simply provide broker services for their customers.
-- Dr W Williams
%%
The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost.
-- William Carlos Williams
%%
What power has love but forgiveness? In other words by its intervention what has been done can be undone. What good is it otherwise?
-- William Carlos Williams
%%
Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
-- John Williamson
%%
Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.
-- Marianne Williamson
%%
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson
%%
The innocence that feels no risk and is taught no caution, is more vulnerable than guilt, and oftener assailed.
-- Nathaniel P Willis
%%
What is ambition? 'Tis a glorious cheat. Angels of light walk not so dazzlingly the sapphire walls of heaven.
-- Willis
%%
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
-- Gary Wills
%%
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
-- Colin Wilson
%%
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
-- Earl Wilson
%%
In a purely technical sense, each species of higher organism is richer in information than a Caravaggio painting, Bach fugue, or any other great work of art.
-- Edward O Wilson
%%
Our schizophrenic societies progress by knowledge but survive on inspiration derived from the very beliefs which that knowledge erodes. I suggest that the paradox can be at least intellectually resolved, not all at once but eventually and with consequences difficult to perfect, if we pay due attention to the sociobiology of religion. Although the manifestations of the religious experiences are resplendent and multidimensional and so complicated that the finest of psychoanalyst and philosophers get lost in their labyrinth, I believe that religious practices can be mapped onto the two dimensions of genetic advantage and evolutionary change.
-- Edward Osborne Wilson
%%
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
-- Harold Wilson
%%
All policy interventions in social problems produce the intended effect. If the research is carried out by those implementing the policy or their friends.
-- James Q Wilson
%%
If you don't laugh at all, you've missed the point. If you only laugh, you've missed your chance from illumination.
-- Robert Anton Wilson
%%
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.
-- Robert Anton Wilson
%%
Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
-- Sloan Wilson
%%
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.
-- Sloan Wilson
%%
Business underlies everything in our national life, including our spiritual life. Witness the fact that in the Lord's Prayer the first petition is for daily bread. No one can worship God or love his neighbour on an empty stomach.
-- Woodrow Wilson
%%
Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.
-- Woodrow Wilson
%%
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
-- Woodrow Wilson
%%
Never murder a man who is committing suicide.
-- Woodrow Wilson
%%
The nation's honour is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson
%%
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
-- Lord Peter Wimsey
%%
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell
%%
Nothing recedes like success.
-- Walter Winchell
%%
The Lord's Prayer has 56 words, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address has 266, the Declaration of Independence has 300; but a government order on cabbage prices contained 26,911 words.
-- William Windnall
%%
It is good that the young are beautiful; it is the only advantage they have.
-- The Duchess of Windsor
%%
Life is a series of rude awakenings.
-- R Van Winkle
%%
We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters
%%
Life offers two great gifts time, and the ability to choose how we spend it. Planning is a process of choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.
-- Richard I Winwood
%%
You can either call me by name, pronouncing it 'Veert,' or call me by value, 'Worth.'
-- Nickolas Wirth
%%
Guys are lucky because they get to grow moustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for your face.
-- Anita Wise
%%
Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
%%
The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
%%
Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
-- Gene Wolfe
%%
A cult is a religion with no political power.
-- Tom Wolfe
%%
Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America ... that we are fixed and certain only when we are in movement.
-- Thomas Wolfe
%%
The tendency to believe that things never change, the inertia of daily existence, is a staple of living. It has always been a delusion.
-- Donald Allen Wollheim
%%
Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E Woodberry
%%
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R Wooden
%%
She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
-- P G Woodhouse
%%
Good judgement comes from experience, and experience... well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman
%%
The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C Stacey Woods
%%
Fundamentalists never wonder why, if herpes is sent by 'god' to scourge "adulterers," whooping cough and measles weren't purposely created to lambaste children.
-- Fred Woodworth
%%
If God is wise, why did he not compose a coherent account of what he wanted mankind to do? No, the Bible is not such an account; nobody can agree in what it says. The very god who, according to those who believe in him, made every last electron spin in its orbit everywhere throughout the universe, still cannot write a clear, unmistakable volume of instructions to human beings who are supposed to follow his wishes, Instead, he allegedly gives us the Bible or Koran, or some other jumble of ridiculous and ancient superstitions...
-- Fred Woodworth
%%
Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the human will.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Humour is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantelpiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf
%%
Heaven lies about us in our infancy.
-- Wordsworth
%%
Nought shall prevail against us, or disturb Our cheerful faith, that all which we behold Is full of blessings.
-- Wordsworth
%%
The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.
-- William Wordsworth
%%
The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth
%%
The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers: Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
-- William Wordsworth
%%
To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.
-- William Wordsworth
%%
What are fears but voices airy? Whispering harm where harm is not, And deluding the unwary Till the fatal bolt is shot!
-- Wordsworth
%%
Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one.
-- Mrs Wormwood
%%
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
-- Steve Wozniak
%%
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
%%
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
%%
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
%%
Noble life demands a noble architecture for noble uses of noble men. Lack of culture means what it has always meant: ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
%%
The truth is more important than the facts.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
%%
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
%%
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will."
-- Steven Wright
%%
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
-- Steve Wright
%%
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Did you sleep well? "No, I made a couple of mistakes."
-- Steven Wright
%%
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
-- Steven Wright
%%
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I eat swiss cheese from the inside out.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I had amnesia once or twice.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches around the world. Maybe you've seen it.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes".
-- Steven Wright
%%
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
-- Steve Wright
%%
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
-- Steve Wright
%%
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".
-- Steven Wright
%%
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
-- Steven Wright
%%
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
-- Steve Wright
%%
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
-- Steven Wright
%%
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
-- Steven Wright
%%
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
-- Steven Wright
%%
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
-- Steven Wright
%%
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
-- Steven Wright
%%
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
-- Steven Wright
%%
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
-- Steve Wright
%%
If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare?
-- Steve Wright
%%
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright
%%
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.
-- Steven Wright
%%
It it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
-- Steve Wright
%%
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
-- Steven Wright
%%
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
-- Steven Wright
%%
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.
-- Steven Wright
%%
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
-- Steven Wright
%%
People tell you to give them your two cents worth, then they say they want a penny for your thoughts. Somewhere someone's making a penny.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Smoking cures weight problems... eventually...
-- Steven Wright
%%
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
-- Steve Wright
%%
The sky already fell. Now what?
-- Steven Wright
%%
The sky is falling... no, I'm tipping over backwards.
-- Steven Wright
%%
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
-- Steven Wright
%%
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright
%%
What's another word for Thesaurus?
-- Steven Wright
%%
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright
%%
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
-- Steven Wright
%%
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
-- Steven Wright
%%
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
-- Steven Wright
%%
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?"
-- Steven Wright
%%
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-- Steven Wright
%%
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.
-- Steven Wright
%%
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.
-- Steve Wright
%%
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
-- Steven Wright
%%
It is possible to fly without motors, but not without knowledge.
-- Wilbur Wright
%%
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
-- Bill Wulf
%%
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
-- Woodrow Wyatt
%%
We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt
%%
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
-- Swami X
%%
Excess of grief for the deceased is madness; for it is an injury to the living, and the dead know it not.
-- Xenephon
%%
The sweetest of all sounds is praise.
-- Xenophon
%%
"I must claim the quoter's privilege of giving only as much of the text as will suit my purpose," said Tan. "If I told you how it went on, I should end up by contradicting myself!"
-- Cao Xueqin
%%
Xianity HAD to invent hell. The smarter Jews of the time were beginning to figure out what it would be like to spend eternity with religious fanatics, and the Xians needed to invent someplace worse. They failed.
-- Brent Yaciw
%%
If you seek, how is that different from pursuing sound and form? If you don't seek, how are you different from earth, wood, or stone? You must seek without seeking.
-- Fo-Yan
%%
Fear not your enemies, for they can only kill you; fear not your friends, for they can only betray you. Fear only the indifferent, who permit the killers and betrayers to walk safely on the earth.
-- Edward Yashinsky
%%
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.
-- Thomas Ybarra
%%
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
-- William Butler Yeats
%%
I am still of opinion that only two topics can be of the least interest to a serious and studious mood ... sex and the dead.
-- William Butler Yeats
%%
I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats
%%
One should not lose one's temper unless one is certain of getting more and more angry to the end.
-- William Butler Yeats
%%
Think where man's glory most begins and ends, And say my glory was I had such friends.
-- William Butler Yeats
%%
You shall go with me, newly-married bride, And gaze upon a merrier multitude. White-armed Nuala, Aengus of the Birds, Feachra of the hurtling form, and him Who is the ruler of the Western Host, Finvara, and their Land of Heart's Desire. Where beauty has no ebb, decay no flood, But joy is wisdom, time an endless song.
-- William Butler Yeats
%%
That which exists through itself is called The Eternal. The Eternal has neither name nor shape. It is the one essence, the one primal spirit. Essence and life cannot be seen. They are contained in the light of heaven. The light of heaven cannot be seen. It is contained in the two eyes.
-- Lu Yen
%%
We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Baptist Minister Kent York, to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius
%%
A God all mercy is a God unjust.
-- Young
%%
A God alone can comprehend a God.
-- Young
%%
Faith is not reason's labour, but repose.
-- Young
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Friendship's the wine of life.
-- Young
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The glory of God is intelligence.
-- Young
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Too low they build who build below the skies.
-- Edward Young
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Let justice be done though the heavens fall.
-- Caitiff Younger
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Only gods die gladly... demons must be slain.
-- Caitiff Younger
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He gives his wife something to look forward to ... a divorce.
-- Henny Youngman
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
-- Henny Youngman
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I made a killing in the stock market. I shot my broker.
-- Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
-- Henny Youngman
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."
-- Henny Youngman
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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
-- Henny Youngman
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
-- Henny Youngman
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My grandfather is over 80 and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
-- Henny Youngman
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My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.
-- Henny Youngman
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
-- Henny Youngman
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She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
-- Henny Youngman
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Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.
-- Henny Youngman
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
-- Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
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You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman
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If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.
-- Lin Yutang
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Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks.
-- Lin Yutang
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The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach.
-- Lin Yutang
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Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-- Catherine Zandonella
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You, the Spirit of the Settlement! ... Not understand that America is God's crucible, the great melting-pot where all the races of Europe are melting and re-forming! Here, you stand, good folk, think I, when I see them at Ellis Island, here you stand in your fifty groups, with your fifty languages and histories, and your fifty blood hatreds and rivalries...
-- Israel Zangwill
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It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata
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Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture or necrodestination.
-- Frank Vincent Zappa
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Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
-- Frank Zappa
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It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side.
-- Frank Vincent Zappa
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Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
-- Frank Zappa
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Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.
-- Frank Zappa
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One of my favourite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.
-- Frank Vincent Zappa
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The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
-- Frank Zappa
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The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.
-- Frank Zappa
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There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
-- Frank Vincent Zappa
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You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.
-- Frank Zappa
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I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.
-- Peter Nivio Zarlenga
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In a suitable temperature, an egg becomes a chicken, and there are no chickens born of stones.
-- Mao Zedong
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Investigation may be likened to the long months of pregnancy, and solving a problem to the day of birth. To investigate a problem is, indeed, to solve it.
-- Mao Zedong
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Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Zedong
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Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.
-- Mao Zedong
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There is great disorder under heaven and the situation is excellent.
-- Mao Zedong
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Although written many years ago, Lady Chatterley's Lover has just been reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the day-to-day life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable interest to outdoor minded readers, as it contains many passages on pheasant-raising, the apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin, and other chores and duties of the professional gamekeeper. Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade through many pages of extraneous material in order to discover and savour those sidelights on the management of a midland shooting estate, and in this reviewer's opinion the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller's Practical Gamekeeping.
-- Ed Zern
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You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy
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In Fame's temple there is always a niche to be found for rich dunces, importunate scoundrels or successful butchers of the human race.
-- Zimmermam
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Nobody notices when things go right!
-- Zimmerman's Law of Complaints
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When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do not allow the Government to deploy those technologies.
-- Philip Zimmermann
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
-- Smile Zinger
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What all of this indicates is that despite the Constitution, despite the First Amendment and its guarantees of free speech, American citizens must fear to speak their minds, knowing that their speech, their writings, their attendance of meetings, their signing of petitions, and their support of even the most nonviolent of organizations may result in their being listed in the files of the FBI, with consequences no one can surely know. It was Mark Twain who said, 'In our country, we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.'
-- Howard Zinn
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What I want to do is to make people laugh so that they'll see things seriously.
-- William K Zinsser
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The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek
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Coward: A man in whom the instinct of selfpreservation acts normally.
-- Sultana Zoraya
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The progress of science is often affected more by the frailties of humans and their institutions than by the limitations of scientific measuring devices. The scientific method is only as effective as the humans using it. It does not automatically lead to.
-- Steven S Zumdahl
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Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
